Bad Manners or Just Rude?

[Lihu]

I don't think the OP is angry about the gimmes but that the gimme taking boss rudely implied he cheated by teeing up in front of the markers despite taking gimmes for three rounds.

True, but that's also against the rules.

I suppose the only point I am making is that some of us are trying to learn this game, while others just play to have fun. We have to be tolerant of both types as we play.

[Abu3baid]

I don't think the OP is angry about the gimmes but that the gimme taking boss rudely implied he cheated by teeing up in front of the markers despite taking gimmes for three rounds.

I understood he was upset that the boss took the gimmie and he didn't extend it to him, and instead watched him putt out..

[Fourputt]

Unless there is a significant wager on the line, this isn't worth getting upset about.  Maybe the boss just has a peculiar sense of humor.  If not then he's a bit of a twit, but it still isn't worth all this excitement.

[Dave2512]

True, but that's also against the rules.

Yes but it doesn't sound like it actually happened just a fictional jibe from the boss that the OP took offense to after taking gimmes for three rounds. Not sure I'd resort to the silent treatment and stomp out or whatever but it sounds like the boss guy spent three days behaving like a douche. It's not something I would want to be around. If golf is supposed to be fun why go out of your way to make someone feel bad. Especially with sophomoric stuff.

[Lihu]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lihu

True, but that's also against the rules.

Yes but it doesn't sound like it actually happened just a fictional jibe from the boss that the OP took offense to after taking gimmes for three rounds. Not sure I'd resort to the silent treatment and stomp out or whatever but it sounds like the boss guy spent three days behaving like a douche. It's not something I would want to be around. If golf is supposed to be fun why go out of your way to make someone feel bad. Especially with sophomoric stuff.

He's either a douche, or just trying to lighten the mood a bit for a nice day of golf next time out. I'm sure he could read the signs of discontent while playing the rounds with the OP.

I would be interested in hearing from the OP's friend if his boss was just being lighthearted or not.

In the end, I still feel that he invited everyone to his country club for a nice day out, and he can't be all that bad?

[Dave2512]

He's either a douche, or just trying to lighten the mood a bit for a nice day of golf next time out. I'm sure he could read the signs of discontent while playing the rounds with the OP.

I would be interested in hearing from the OP's friend if his boss was just being lighthearted or not.

In the end, I still feel that he invited everyone to his country club for a nice day out, and he can't be all that bad?

I doubt it, at least I hope that wasn't how it happened. If he noticed he was getting under the guys skin and continued to do it all the way to the clubhouse on the third day there is nothing lighthearted about that. IMO nothing to get so rattled about it's worth starting a thread but I would have stood my ground with some of my own gamesmanship long before that, friends boss or not. That he didn't engage likely prolonged it. Some people like that stuff others not so much. I just like to golf not get into the locker room style horseplay.

[MrFlipper]

My best friend and I play together at least two and sometimes three times a week.  Lately he has asked his boss to join us, which I don't mind he's a very good golfer.  However he has done some things that has really gotten my goat.  We had a string of great weather here in Kansas a couple weeks ago so we were able to play four days straight.  On the first day during play I hit into the green on three different holes each shot was well within the four foot range, my friend and his boss were notably well outside my ball.  I approached the green on the first hole and stood reading my putt waiting for them to make their stroke since they were both away.  The boss walked up looked at the lay of all three balls then used his putter to pick up his ball and my friends ball and called it good.  They then stood by and watched while I made my putt.  I said nothing but was pissed, it happened two more times that round and each of those times I was well within their ball and each time I watched as the boss picked up his and my friends then stood and watched as I putted out.  The next day we played the same course again and I made a great approach shot to the green on a par 5,  I was 20 feet out from the hole for my birdie putt they were inside my ball with putts of 10 feet and 6 feet.  I lined up my putt from behind the ball and began my pre-shot routine.  I did not take an extraordinary time in doing so, I took my stance and looked at the hole then down at my ball, looking back to the hole one last time as is my routine I see the boss over his ball pulling the putter back and making his putt.  I backed off my putt and waited until both the boss and my friend putted.  I then made my putt for birdie and walked off the green.  My round wasn't worth a dam after that hole.  I shot a 90.

The third day we played a local country club the boss is a member of, we were joined by two of his friends also members but really nice guys.  The day went OK, after the golf we were invited to the club house for beers.  It front of everyone my friends boss told everyone I had a great round because I tee'd my ball up a foot in front of the tee markers at least five times during the round.  I was pissed beyond belief and embarrassed as well.  I paid for the drinks and left.  I didn't show up for the golf on the fourth day and haven't spoke to my friend or the boss guy since.

I rant here am I just being a whiner here and acting a baby or did he cross the line on the pick ups and the club house remarks.  I think his golf manners need some work and want to call him on it but I don't want to do anything to harm my friends status with his boss.  What would you all do if faced with this clown on the course.

Not sure you are going to like this, but here goes with my humble opinion.

This sounds like "boss golf", a close variant of "customer golf", where the boss (or customer) does whatever they want and you show no reaction. Your buddy trusted you to act appropriately, or he wouldn't have invited you!

Some thoughts:

Are you sure your pre-shot putting routine isn't slow? For you not to notice him until he is pulling the putter back is not a good sign. And besides you are playing "boss" golf, remember?

Are you sure you don't tee up in front of the markers? Lots of people do and don't realize it. But even if you didn't, remember it is "boss" golf you are playing here, so just grin and bear it. Just take it as a joke, drink some more beer.

If people playing ready golf, out of order, giving each other putts, etc bothers you to this extent, then best to just avoid them. But this stuff shouldn't throw you off your game. I play with a guy all the time that won't take a gimme, even if it is 6 inches long and it is match play. Yeah its against the rules, but so what? Not that big a deal to let it ruin a game. We are not playing in the US Open, after all, its just a casual round---

Try not to let this stuff upset you. And if it makes you feel any better, at least you don't have to work for this guy. But your buddy does, so be patient with the process for his sake!

[ay33660]

A lot of times I will do exactly what your friend's boss did with respect to gimmes.

If I am playing with one of my regulars and a single joins us we will give each other gimmes but never do so for the player or players joining us unless it is very very close to the hole.

It is NOT because we are trying to be dicks (I don't have to try to do THAT), it's just that we don't know if they like to putt out or not. The simplest thing is to let him/her play their own game.

Usually by the back nine I can figure it out and start to give them putts especially if they are having a particularly bad hole.

Your friend and his boss likely played before so they know each other's game and when to give each other the putts.

As for teeing off in front of the blocks (and I am not implying you did so) this is one of my pet peeves.

I know lots who will argue that 1 foot in front of the blocks on a 350 yard hole is insignificant and I agree it is likely insignificant as far as distance BUT why do this.

If it has an insignificant affect on the tee shot then just tee up BEHIND THE BLOCKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT IS NOT THAT HARD AND YOU HAVE A FULL TWO CLUB LENGTHS BEHIND THE BLOCKS TO DO SO.

Rant over.

[acerimusdux]

Mainly, you should have said something. If you can ignore it and not let it bother you, fine, but it obviously did bother you and even impact your game.  If you see him lining up to put when it's your turn, announce "excuse me, I'm away here".  If you see him taking ten-foot gimmes, comment on it. And stop worrying about him being someone's boss.  He probably doesn't want to be treated as "the boss" in his recreational time, anyway.

[Fourputt]

Are you sure you don't tee up in front of the markers? Lots of people do and don't realize it. But even if you didn't, remember it is "boss" golf you are playing here, so just grin and bear it. Just take it as a joke, drink some more beer.

This struck me too.  I've known a lot of guys who were pretty good players, yet they seemed to have trouble seeing that line between the markers.  They always have to fudge the ball up so close that they sometimes cross the line.  I tend to tee about a foot behind the markers just to be sure.  That foot is never going to matter in ones game, and it ensures against incurring a penalty.

A lot of times I will do exactly what your friend's boss did with respect to gimmes.

If I am playing with one of my regulars and a single joins us we will give each other gimmes but never do so for the player or players joining us unless it is very very close to the hole.

It is NOT because we are trying to be dicks (I don't have to try to do THAT), it's just that we don't know if they like to putt out or not. The simplest thing is to let him/her play their own game.

Usually by the back nine I can figure it out and start to give them putts especially if they are having a particularly bad hole.

Your friend and his boss likely played before so they know each other's game and when to give each other the putts.

As for teeing off in front of the blocks (and I am not implying you did so) this is one of my pet peeves.

I know lots who will argue that 1 foot in front of the blocks on a 350 yard hole is insignificant and I agree it is likely insignificant as far as distance BUT why do this.

If it has an insignificant affect on the tee shot then just tee up BEHIND THE BLOCKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT IS NOT THAT HARD AND YOU HAVE A FULL TWO CLUB LENGTHS BEHIND THE BLOCKS TO DO SO.

Rant over.

I would never concede a putt to a stranger no matter how many holes we had played, unless for some strange reason we were playing for a wager, or we were playing a match against each other.  Since most strangers I get paired with are playing stroke play, I would never consider gimmes.  If they want to do it between themselves, then they can have at it.

[Joe Cartpath]

I normally putt everything out, but we'll sometimes take a gimme in a casual round if it's really close - like inside a foot or so. If I'm playing with a stranger and he has a very short one like that I might say "that's good if you want it". They'll either respond "Thanks!" or "I'll putt it". From that point on, I know their preference....

[phan52]

Unless I am playing for money or in a tournament, I couldn't care less if somebody chooses to pick up their ball.

And hey, stay behind the tee markers, OK?

[ay33660]

I would never concede a putt to a stranger no matter how many holes we had played, unless for some strange reason we were playing for a wager, or we were playing a match against each other.  Since most strangers I get paired with are playing stroke play, I would never consider gimmes.  If they want to do it between themselves, then they can have at it.

I agree 1000% and is the point I was trying make as the OP seemed to take offense that his ball was closer but not conceded ......

OP's comments - " On the first day during play I hit into the green on three different holes each shot was well within the four foot range, my friend and his boss were notably well outside my ball.  I approached the green on the first hole and stood reading my putt waiting for them to make their stroke since they were both away.  The boss walked up looked at the lay of all three balls then used his putter to pick up his ball and my friends ball and called it good.  They then stood by and watched while I made my putt. I said nothing but was pissed , it happened two more times that round and each of those times I was well within their ball and each time I watched as the boss picked up his and my friends then stood and watched as I putted out."

In the OP's scenario he would have been the stranger in the group and it is entirely appropriate that his friend and his boss would not have conceded the OP's putts. Yet the OP was PISSED about this??????? I think the OP was in the wrong here UNLESS the three of them were in a match together.

[Dave2512]

Except the OP wasn't a stranger.

[ay33660]

Except the OP wasn't a stranger.

Well he may not have been a stranger to his friend but to the friend's boss?

Based on the tone of the OP's post the friend and his boss were conceded each other putts so it seems to me they have played together before and perhaps had a game going between the two of them that did not involve the OP. So in that case he would have been the "stranger" as in the odd man not involved in the game.

OK so let's rephrase this to leave out the "stranger" relationship. The OP should not be pissed just because his friend and his boss conceded each other's putt. If the three of them were not playing a game together then the OP could have just picked up his ball also.

[Dave2512]

Well he may not have been a stranger to his friend but to the friend's boss?

Based on the tone of the OP's post the friend and his boss were conceded each other putts so it seems to me they have played together before and perhaps had a game going between the two of them that did not involve the OP. So in that case he would have been the "stranger" as in the odd man not involved in the game.

Doesn't sound like it was the first time but they certainly could have a game going. Though it would have been easy enough to mention it. I get paired with people playing games all the time, different game and bet on every hole. Pretty obvious when that is going on.

My best friend and I play together at least two and sometimes three times a week.  Lately he has asked his boss to join us, which I don't mind he's a very good golfer.

[Yukari]

I guess my first question is why are you pissed?  Would it have been much better if he had came by and hit your ball to you and said your good?  Aren't you playing to enjoy the game? I am there to play and I'm certainly not waiting for someone to give me putts.  I can't see any possible reason why you would be pissed, so a little more information might be good to justify your position.

I would have to agree here.  I just can't see why that should matter to you unless there was something riding on the game.

I often play with strangers as I tend to go out as a single and get paired with others.  I don't care what they do, as I only care about my own game.

[trickyputt]

Here is the neatest thing about golf. Prove it.