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Telling Your Friends You Dont Want Them In Your Foursome......


andymane
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here latley it seems more and more of my friends and co workers are getting into golf, this is a good thing dont get me wrong. but these last few outings it seems that i end up doing more babysitting/coaching than actually focusing on my round. informing them of etiquette, rules, and of course the questions." what am i doing worng?" "why does that always happen?" "how do I fix that?". i really dont feel bad because ive asked them numerous times to come to the range with me and practice and if they do come with me they hit nothing but driver untill they are to sore to move. lol How do you guys deal with these types of scenarios? does it make me a bad person/friend because i would rather have skilled people in 4 some???? and how do i go about telling co workers and close friends that i dont want to play with them untill they can keep the ball in play and i dont have to remind them to rake bunkers and fix ball marks and such?????

Keep it where the mowers go!

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I suck too, but some of the people I play with used to be worse-alot worse.They eventually got a little better but i get annoyed at times too still. I think instead of EVER giving them another tip just say get lessons - a few times of that and they'll stop turning to you time and time again for advice. You might tell them about this site or a rules site casually and hope they catch on. If you want to ditch them just say you want to play by yourself for awhile to get your game more together, they'll understand. Just make up whatever you have to so you can cease any kind of obligation and that way your not gonna alienate yourself at work. Your not a bad person imo golf is frustrating enough without having to deal with noobs on top of that, don't feel bad for wanting to have fun.
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here latley it seems more and more of my friends and co workers are getting into golf, this is a good thing dont get me wrong. but these last few outings it seems that i end up doing more babysitting/coaching than actually focusing on my round. informing them of etiquette, rules, and of course the questions." what am i doing worng?" "why does that always happen?" "how do I fix that?". i really dont feel bad because ive asked them numerous times to come to the range with me and practice and if they do come with me they hit nothing but driver untill they are to sore to move. lol How do you guys deal with these types of scenarios? does it make me a bad person/friend because i would rather have skilled people in 4 some???? and how do i go about telling co workers and close friends that i dont want to play with them untill they can keep the ball in play and i dont have to remind them to rake bunkers and fix ball marks and such?????

Just think of it as a perfect time to work on your mental game!

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Stop answering their questions and just say something really generic like, "You need to feel the swing" or "Work on your tempo". Once they figure out that you don't have any answers, they will quit asking. I do play with a group every now and then that has a very trying skill level and it is the perfect time to work on the mental game.

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I have a friend who started playing a couple of years ago. He doesn't play a whole heck of a lot, and never practices. Yet, he gets frustrated easily and becomes really slow and dragging every time we play. I simply stopped calling him and asking if he wanted to play. I started making my tee times with other guys earlier than normal, so if he ever asks me I can usually say "well, so-and-so needed a 4th so I'm playing with them".

I still play 1 or 2 rounds with him each year, but that's about it. Golf isn't cheap, and there's no sense in spending money to play it with people if you don't enjoy their company.

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That reminds me of a great joke...

Three guys are ready to tee off on the first hole and here comes a club pro asking if he can join them.
The first guy hits a duck hook and asks the club pro what he did wrong.
The pro says "it's the LOFT."

The second guy hits an ugly slice into the trees, and asks the club pro what he did wrong.
The pro says "it's the LOFT."

The third guy tops his ball and the worm burner goes about 30 yds. He asks the club pro what he did wrong.
The pro says "it's the LOFT."

The club pro hits a beautiful drive straight down the middle.

As they are all walking off the tee, the first guys couldn't stand it any longer and asks the club pro: "When I hit my duck hook, you said it was because of the loft. When my buddy hit a nasty slice, you said it was because of the loft. And when my other buddy hit a worm burner, you again said it was because of the loft. Now I know with the driver amateurs should use a higher lofted club to get the ball in the air easier and have less side spin. But how can you say that all three completely different bad shots are due to the loft?"

The pro says calmly, "I didn't say it was due to the loft of the club. I said it was because of your Lack Of Fu@#ing Talent!"

So next time they ask what they did wrong after a bad shot, simply tell them "it's the LOFT"

Don

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Awesome Yukari! LMAO!!!

I've had a similar situation as the OP. You can see by my handicap that I'm not great, I've only been playing for a year. However, there are two of my friends that just took up the game, but know nothing about etiquette, club selection, pace of play, order of play, etc... I get so tired of having to tell them it's their turn or to go hit their shot instead of helping me look for my ball when there's a group waiting behind us or asking them why they're using a 5 iron from 40 yds or putting from the fairway (yes, this really happened). The worst was when I was lined up for a 5 foot birdie putt and right as I start my backstroke one of them walks right in my line of vision to pick up the flag!!! It's a shame because I like both of these guys, but I don't want to golf with them. They never practice and can't keep up with my normal group... and we're 28 handicaps!!!

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I shoot 90s and my playing partner shoots high 60's low 70's. I dont ask for help usually because I dont want to. Not during a round anyway. He has offered help before (if im slicing) and ill just say im going to play the slice today and work on it at the range and soemtimes if I ask for help he'll say dont work on your game on the course. Or dont change anything ON the course. Change it at the range. I think you should explain to them that they need to play sim games on the range, drive, 4 iron wedge, driver 7 iron wedge etc etc. . and not just belt the driver all over. If they're your friends you should be able to talk to them and tell them YOU dont work on stuff on the course, neither should they and if they want advice they can buy a few buckets and youll help em on the range and let them get a few ebers after where you can go over stuff. Thats what I do.

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" what am i doing worng?" "why does that always happen?" "how do I fix that?"

Ugh - i pretend i didnt hear these questions and just keep walking.

But the situation you are in, is quite tricky, i guess there is no good way to tell your friends you dont like to play with them. Why dont you find them some nice "hackers" and set them up with them? It´ll take some time to develop the relationship but it will take them of your back if you can´t stand it. And lets be honest - playing every single round with a foursome of beginners isn´t easy and that´s not how it was supposed to be. You did your chores in the past looking for 4 missing balls every hole and taking 6 shots to reach a green of a par 4 and waiting for the rest of your foursome to do the same, when you started, but once you get better it makes the game a lot less fun once you have to go back to these painful times. Once they progress they will come back naturally, since they will see it from the same perspective as you do right now. I play with worse players frequently, but one at a time and not more than once a week - everything else makes me go bonkers...

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I totally feel the OP on the annoyance of having to baby true newbies through etiquette stuff. But if the problem isn't that they don't know how to behave on the course but just are bad and get frustrated and annoying and ask for too many tips, it might be worth just pushing them towards not asking for tips in-round. I say this cause I never asked for tips and slowed play, but when I was much worse (I'm an 80s player, low to high, now), I got a lot better playing with one of my buddies a lot who's better than I am. Just having someone around to give you an example of where you're going is a great service you can do your friends.

Maybe when they ask you for tips, especially if they're angry and annoying, you can make your stock answer, "You're playing shitty cause you're mad and asking mechanics questions on the course. Chill out, play your slice while on the course, and stop asking questions."

?

Matt

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The converse is being a newbie and having the other guys in your group throwing out tips and adjustments you should make while you're just trying to focus on what you need to. I appreciate someone trying to help, but when you have three guys with three different opinions on how to fix your slice all yapping at you when you're about to hit your drive it can get annoying too.

Joe Paradiso

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tomorrow im playing a scramble with 2 hackers and one of my other buddies who is actually really good. i dont mind this format casue it usually invloves a lot of beer! and i love taking those risky shots with out pressure

Keep it where the mowers go!

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Just think of it as a perfect time to work on your mental game!

This is what I try to do when out with friends, focus on my ability to keep focus. I accepted the fact that they will be disruptive. Everything is cool, I'm among friend.

I do score better when I go by myself and get paired with strangers. I don't have to talk to them, and I just concentrate on putting the ball in play.
In the Bag:
|Driver: TM Burner Plus 10.5*|Woods: TM Burner Plus 3 & 5|Hybrids: TM Burner Rescue 4 & 5|Irons: TM Burner Plus 6-AW|Wedge: Cleveland CG12 SW|Putter: PRGR Silver-Blade|Balls: Top-Flite D2
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10 years ago when I played multiple rounds per week it was no big deal. Nowadays I don't get to play often so I'm not going to play with someone I don't like. My free time is too scarce and every minute I spend on golf is still a minute away from my family (that's about to change since my oldest two kids are more and more interested everyday).
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here latley it seems more and more of my friends and co workers are getting into golf, this is a good thing dont get me wrong. but these last few outings it seems that i end up doing more babysitting/coaching than actually focusing on my round. informing them of etiquette, rules, and of course the questions." what am i doing worng?" "why does that always happen?" "how do I fix that?". i really dont feel bad because ive asked them numerous times to come to the range with me and practice and if they do come with me they hit nothing but driver untill they are to sore to move. lol How do you guys deal with these types of scenarios? does it make me a bad person/friend because i would rather have skilled people in 4 some???? and how do i go about telling co workers and close friends that i dont want to play with them untill they can keep the ball in play and i dont have to remind them to rake bunkers and fix ball marks and such?????

Yeah, it makes you an ass. You invited them to play, got them interested, now want to bail on them. My suggestion? Be an ass. Ha ha.. You tickle me tonight. Wonderful thread. Maybe get a foursome of goobers to play together and free yourself. Or perhaps play with them every 3rd or 4th time you play. Somehow, put the brakes on it. You deserve to enjoy your golf. However, it speaks well of your character that you are such a steward of the game. We really need more 40+ handicap golfers out there. Ha ha.. Kidding. We were all there once, nice of you to get them into the game. But don't think of it as an ongoing babysitting affair. Give them wings and let them fly. -Dan
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Yeah, it makes you an ass. You invited them to play, got them interested, now want to bail on them. My suggestion? Be an ass. Ha ha.. You tickle me tonight. Wonderful thread. Maybe get a foursome of goobers to play together and free yourself. Or perhaps play with them every 3rd or 4th time you play. Somehow, put the brakes on it. You deserve to enjoy your golf. However, it speaks well of your character that you are such a steward of the game. We really need more 40+ handicap golfers out there. Ha ha.. Kidding. We were all there once, nice of you to get them into the game. But don't think of it as an ongoing babysitting affair. Give them wings and let them fly.

thanks Dan, i dont mind sharing my knowledge. I actually enjoy it, just not on the course. Maybe i should get them to pay me for lessons in Beer and free meals! that would be nice, or maybe start paying my green fees for me????

Keep it where the mowers go!

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I have two friends that started about the same time as me but they still shoot in the 100's and break 100 once in a while. Then had couple guys just start recently who each take mulligans without hesitation and still shoot in the 100+. I golfed a lot with them in the middle of the season because they are my close friends but my game definitely took a hit. I wasn't very focused when I played with them since I was waiting for them to hit quite a few times before they approached the green and usually have to hurry with my shots. Worst part is when we get to the green we need to hurry off because the group behind us is right on our ass. I started playing more with the juniors that I usually play with lately and now they rarely call me unless they need a 4th. So I guess I'm pretty much in the same boat as you.

OT: Friend that just started plays MP-68's 3-PW. Short par 3, 120 yards with a pond separating the green and tee box. He hits his 9 iron and doesn't make it over. So he re-tee's and hits a 8 iron, still doesn't make it over. He's puzzled as to why both of his shots weren't even close to making it over. This is after I warned him that the 68's were very unforgiving clubs...

« Keith »

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HAHA dont you love it. They have been asking you all day for tips, and you tell them "hit your 5 iron" they reply "no, i think ill go with my 7 instead"........"shit!, its in the water"

Keep it where the mowers go!

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Note: This thread is 4898 days old. We appreciate that you found this thread instead of starting a new one, but if you plan to post here please make sure it's still relevant. If not, please start a new topic. Thank you!

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