2011 Masters Prediction

Originally Posted by Clambake

My Master's predictions:

10)  Jim Nantz will induce uncontrolled vomiting in a small percentage of the CBS viewership with his sickly sweet platitudes at the start of Sunday's telecast

9)  Phil will save par with a 9-iron from the carpet inside Butler Cabin after a very errant tee shot.   But he will double bogie the next hole when he uses two drivers at the same time to try and drive the green on #11 "White Dogwood".   He will ultimately finish alone in 6th place

8)  Using the Konika Minolta BizHub Swingvision Camera, Peter Kostis will incorrectly diagnose the cause of nearly every player's miss to the right.   Or the left.

7)  Nick Faldo will begin a sentence "Back in my playing days....", and do the same 297 times during the telecasts

6)  Teenage girls mob a local Augusta Waffle House when it is reported that Rickie Fowler is there for breakfast.   However, it is discovered that it was not actually Rickie but that a local road department work truck had inadvertently dropped a traffic cone in the parking lot

5)  While watching JB Holmes, David Feherty indicates that his slow play is only slightly less exciting to watch than two snails going through a mating dance

4)   In a taped interview, Billy Payne will say something pompous (OK, not hard to make that prediction)

3)  Rory McElroy is seen sending text messages bragging about his newest Ferrari to his mates back home while contending on the back nine on Sunday, but slips to 11th place after one of his friends texts back that a Veryon is still faster and Rory still doesn't have the fastest car in Northern Ireland

2)  Tiger Woods will flirt with the cut line but ultimately squeak through and finish in a tie for 28th

and....

1)  Dustin Johnson finally overcomes his bad luck and mental breakdowns and hold it together to win the Masters by 1 stroke, and his GF, the "two and only" Natalie Gulbis dashes across the 18th green not to give him a hug & a kiss but to actually see what it feels like to stand on an 18th green after winning something important