Talk me down (or give me a push)

I am a 7 handicap. I worked long and hard to get there and it was tough. I thought it was just a matter of time before I would be hoisting the FedEx Cup (read sarcasm here)

Last Saturday though I shot a 94.  43 on the front with 2 ridiculous 3-putts and 51 on the back with 3 triples and a nice 10 on the par 5 18th (another bogey in there somewhere).

I walked away basically never wanting to play again. It was a bucket of ice water in the face. Golf is hard and there is no way that I can continue to improve only playing 1-2 times per week and MAYBE getting to the range 1 time a week. I'm not even sure I can maintain my handicap since I need to shoot at least 10 out of every 20 rounds in the mid to upper 70s (depending on rating, slope blah blah blah).

Like it or not though I had a round planned with buddies on Sunday. Front 9 was about as lethargic as it could be. I didn't even give a S. Shot a 45 (par 35). Awesome. The back though for whatever reason picked up. 39 (par 36) with a stretch of 6 pars. WTF!!

I feel like I need to almost forget about handicap and just play. Have fun and try to win some cash from my friends. Its either that or quit completely. I'm an all or nothing guy so is it possible for me to play the game purely for fun? I kind of feel like if I can just shoot 85 or better 90% of the time then that will be pretty damn good.

Anybody else ever face this moment? Serious as hell but then realize that your spinning your wheels and then find a happy place?

Laugh it off, or go ahead and quit. By laying off, you will find out if you can truly walk away from this beautiful game. I know I can't. If you come back, good, and if you really quit, then also good as you know golf wasn't right for you.

The way I look at it, at a 7hc you're very good, but you're not a pro or even close to being one, so you're correct in saying that the only real reason for you to play is the beauty, the fun, and taking you're buddies money. I know that's enough for me.

Shot a 94 one Saturday and said at least I couldn't do any worse. I could. The next day.

Started narrowing my focus on every shot - set the bar higher even for simple layups or pitch outs. A few weeks later every clicked (relative to that weekend from H***) and haven't shot north of 81 in 2 months. Started holing more chip shots and even when I miss my target the ball is still in play. the only risk is not being a good playing partner. I've caught myself walking down the fairway while in the zone and didn't even notice when everyone went over to help Justin find his tee shot. Oh hey, what are they doing over there? Oops!

Amen

I've had what you describe happen to me several times over the last 3 years. Blowup round(s), re-focus, bare down and come back stronger.

This time though it felt different. It felt hopeless (over dramatic). It was like that damn DVD that's scratched and every time you watch the movie and get to the good part, it starts skipping and freezing. You clean it off, spray it down, buff it, whatever it takes, put it back and hope but then it starts doing it again and you just realize that you will not get to see that part.

So its that time for me. Either skip to the next chapter and enjoy the rest of the movie or hit eject and go find something else to do.

I don't think I will quit completely. I love it too much. I just need to separate my love for the game from my desire to be the best at everything (cuz it ain't gonna happen with golf). If I can sever those two emotions then I will be in a great place and I can get back to having fun playing golf.

Just wondering if anyone else is as f'ed up as me but found a way to let it go and play the game.

try playing in the moment instead of chasing your handicap from the moment you tee off until your round is done.

The beauty of golf is that no day is every the same..no shot is ever the same...so I would think taking a more "in the present" focus could help.  Each time I play..i just focus on trying to shoot as low as I can THAT day..not really trying to beat my best score or anything.

7 handicaps can shoot 94s. It happens. Just make sure it doesn't happen too ofter or you won't be a 7 any longer. :)

What I noticed in your post was when you decided not to give a s, then turned around & shot a 39 on the back.

Funny how that happens.

A couple of bad days aren't uncommon for anybody. There are times the PGA guys shoot 80's, not just Daly. I wouldn't worry about it.

I know. That sucks. All of the sudden your like "Whoa baby I'm back" and then you get serious again and then you suck again (by you I mean me of course).

What's funny is I MADE my friends plan skins that day because I just wanted to have some fun. Both the guys I played with are considerably worse than me (23 and 30+ handicaps) so they never want to play any games. I finally said BS, we're playing skins. I gave 1 guy 1 stroke a hole and the other guy 2 strokes a hole and we did a round robin type of skins where each of us had 2 matches per hole against the other guys. Anyway, I was the score keeper and got so distracted just writing down scores and marking skins I didn't have much time to pay attention to my overall score. I didn't even know I had 6 straight pars until I was adding things up. I still lost money but that will keep them coming back for more (bwahahahaha)

I had to give up the ghost about 8 years ago. Car accident, bad back equated to higher scores. The first few years were pure frustration and the years since have been fairly frustrating. I am finally starting to "let it go" and just try to enjoy the game. A really bad round will set me off while it happens but I find it easier to let it go after the round. I figure if I am paying so much to play this game I might as well try to enjoy it.

Why not try a couple of rounds with strangers? Either show up as a single or signup online where there is only 3 in a group. I find it helps me be on better behavior (I don't get so down on myself) when playing with strangers. I also find I tend to carry that over some to my normal friend groups after playing with strangers. Just a thought.

And a good thought it is. In fact you made me realize something. I have been playing with strangers/new friends a lot lately and while not playing great I was playing pretty good. The 94 came in a solo walking round. Usually very prime conditions for me (see my other thread on playing fast) but for whatever reason I lost focus and didnt have any distractions to mello me out and I just spun out of control. There may be hope yet for that FedEx Cup!! :)

Golf is way more than a handicap index, no less the score of a few rounds.

I try to play for enjoyment and the challenge of improving. It can be equally frustrating for high handicappers, just the numbers are different. When we blow up a round, the scores are more like 120.

Forget the numbers and just play the best you can on each and every shot. That's the real challenge.

Although I play at a different level - struggling to break 90 - I also felt frustration.  I was frustrated with my slow progress and embarrassed by my terrible shots.

BUT - I love to play golf so I decided to stop keeping score.  For a while there, I would just go out and play and have a great time - often I wouldn't even take a score card.  And I cheated as much as I pleased . . if I hit a bad shot into the woods, I'd go ahead and drop one where I wished I had hit it (I call that "imaginary scramble").  I'd come home and my wife would ask me how I played - I would answer "pretty good - made a par and a couple of bogeys" (the rest were all doubles and triples, etc).  If I dropped a ball or cheated on a hole or just forgot what my score was I would just mark it with an X or, if not carrying a scorecard, just forget about it.

It really kind of helped me discover what I like about this game.  It's fun.  It's just plain fun to hit golf balls - doesn't matter where they go.  Once you stop keeping score for the round, then no bad shot can ruin your round.  You just mark it with an X and go to the next hole.  '

Nowadays I'm keeping score again and especially enjoy playing against other players for (small amounts of) money.  Maybe try something like that - if you can't enjoy golf for the simple act it is - it might be you're taking it too seriously.

I've got a similar problem.

I feel like I'm on the verge of a breakthough in my scoring.  I wait a week or more to have a chance to play, and I'm so excited to get out there and try what I'm working on.  Thus, every time I go out to the course, I get myself all nervous and amped up, thinking "today is the day I succeed."  And then I blow it in about the first 4 holes.

With that said, one thing I've realized is that you will ALWAYS feel you haven't achieved enough.  If you're a 30 handicap, you think you'll be happy if you can just get to a 20.  If you're a 20, you'll be happy if you can just get to 10.  If you're a 10, you'll be happy if you can just get to scratch.  Etc, etc.

Just let the bad rounds go.

This is a big reason why I walked away from the game for ~ 10yrs.  I was frustrated and felt like I didn't have the financial resources to take my game to the next level.  If you are down to a 6 / 7 handicap... Taking it lower is all about ball striking and putting yourself in position to score (speaking as a 4 to 5 handicap).  It isn't easy... As one or two double bogeys can screw your round.

I really don't have an answer for you... But will say you should also be pleased that you are as low as you are, only hitting the range once a week - and playing as little as you are.  I say this as I'm going to the range nearly every night... And I'm having issues getting my handicap lower than a 4.

I feel your pain.  My entire golfing life has been stretches of taking it seriously (by that I mean just playing more often) mixed with stretches where I don't play much or at all.  Since college (I learned the proper grip and figured out a few things but never had a lesson) I have always been in the 9-12 HDCP range no matter how much or little I played.  (For me, "a lot" was more than once a month).

This year I discovered TST, and then Evolvr, got some new clubs and have been playing/practicing more than ever,  (20 rounds in the last 10 months or so, combined with practicing twice a week on average)  but I have yet to see any notiecable improvements on the scorecard.  It's a little discouraging but I am just chalking it up to me still getting used to pretty significant swing changes and I figure it will just take more time.  I know I can hit the shots, as I do frequently on the range and on the course ... just not consistently enough yet.

I'm confident I'll get there, but man, when you're out there hacking it around for another blah 86 when you feel like you have the potential for a woohoo 76 ... it gets a little frustrating.

Keep your head up!

I'll call your 94 and raise you a 104.  Granted that when I did it I was a 10, not a 7, but I did it in the first round of the '92 club championship.  Second round I shot 88.  With handicap applied that's 28 over par net .  How did I deal with it.  I went out the second weekend in round 3 and shot 74, and 78 in the fourth round.  I didn't place in the money in the tournament, not by a log shot, but I did pick up some day money that second weekend, got myself a big shot of confidence, and more important I learned not to worry about the small stuff.  You can be serious about how you play the game, but you just can't take the game seriously.

Bob Rotella has it right.  Golf is not a game of perfect.  Go into it looking for perfection  and you are doomed to be disappointed.  Treat it as what it is..... a game .  You can be serious as hell when you practice, but play the game for fun .  If it isn't fun, then why do you do it?  One or two rounds isn't the end of the world.  It can be fixed - it's something in your swing or your psyche - look for it when you practice, but go out and play to have fun.  You should consider yourself lucky.  You get to play 1 or 2 times a week.  That's more than the great majority of golfers gets to do.  I'm living on an island where there is no golf.  I haven't had the chance to touch a club since April.  I'd kill to go out and shoot 94, because at least I'd be playing golf.  That's about all I have to say.