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Posted
So, I'm playing with my girlfriend's father this Saturday. We're playing at a public course, but I'm pretty sure he's a "member" (i.e. he pays reduced greens fees, if at all). We played at the course once before.

My question is this: what is protocol for me paying for my round? He sent me to the range the first time, and he went into the clubhouse to pay the first time we played. Is it just assumed that, because he invited me to come play, he's picking up the tab? Should I try and pay for myself? I don't want to get into a pattern of him always paying, and then him feeling obligated to do so.

What say you all?

In my Titleist stand bag:
Ping G5 10.5* Adila NV S
Titleist F2 15.5* VooDoo FW-S
TaylorMade Burner Rescue Hybrid '07 19* 65-S
Mizuno MP52 4-5 irons, Project X 5.5, 1* upright (4i bent to 23*)Mizuno MP57 6-PW, Project X 5.5, 1* uprightMaltby GW 53*; Titleist Vokey SW 58-12; Cougar LW 64*Zebra...


Posted
My father-in-law pays when I play his course with him. I just return the favor when I invite him to play with me. Figure it will even out in the wash you know?

I don't think offering to pay would be uncouth though.

Posted
Just say: What do I owe you for the round?
If he says don't worry about it then don't worry about it. If he says you can get it next time, then so on.

In the Bag:
Driver: R5 Draw
Fairway: Diamond Tour Turner Ablaze 3 Wood
Hybrid: R5 3 hybrid Currently for sale.
Irons: Diamond Tour Turner Ablaze Plus 3-SWPutter: Revolution Solid


Posted
  Leftygolfer said:
Try to pay for yourself. If he insists to pay, let him. But try to pay.

Absolutely the right answer. In fact, since he paid last time, I'd offer to pick up the entire tab this time. Not only is it the right thing to do......it'll make a good impression on your girlfriend's father, which is never a bad thing.

A "membership" at a public course is really nothing more than a discount for pre-paying. Not at all the same as a membership at a private course, many of which don't even accept cash and have no provision for anything other than a member to sign for his purchases (and those of his guests).

In David's bag....

Driver: Titleist 910 D-3;  9.5* Diamana Kai'li
3-Wood: Titleist 910F;  15* Diamana Kai'li
Hybrids: Titleist 910H 19* and 21* Diamana Kai'li
Irons: Titleist 695cb 5-Pw

Wedges: Scratch 51-11 TNC grind, Vokey SM-5's;  56-14 F grind and 60-11 K grind
Putter: Scotty Cameron Kombi S
Ball: ProV1

Awards, Achievements, and Accolades

Posted
  Leftygolfer said:
Try to pay for yourself. If he insists to pay, let him. But try to pay.

Ditto.

Walk into the clubhouse with him and have your wallet out and tell him "I'll take care of it today". If and when he insists on paying, just thank him and leave it at that.

I will judge my rounds much more by the quality of my best shots than the acceptability of my worse ones.


Posted
Well I think theres a couple things that also could go along with this situation:

1. how old are you because if your still in high school or college he probably understands that you're broke. I would however at least try to pay for myself.

2. If you are older and can afford it you should at least make an effort to pick up the round.
Driver: i15, 3 wood: G10, Hybrid: Nickent 4dx, Irons: Ping s57, Wedges: Mizuno MPT 52, 56, 60, Putter: XG #9 

Posted
You can always pay back the favor by buying a drink and/or a snack when you're done.

In the bag:
Ping G5 Driver 9 degree, Ping G10 3-wood, Nike 3 hybrid, TaylorMade R9 Irons 4-AW, Cleveland CG15 56 and 60 degree wedges, Odyssey 2-ball blade putter


Posted
If he continues to pay for all the rounds at Christmas time buy him something to show your appreciation, it does not have to equal the amount he paid for all the rounds but just a jesture of appreciation like a box of his favorite balls.

Titleist 910 D2 9.5 Driver
Titleist 910 F15 & 21 degree fairway wood
Titleist 910 hybrid 24 degree
Mizuno Mp33 5 - PW
52/1056/1160/5

"Yonex ADX Blade putter, odyssey two ball blade putter, both  33"

ProV-1


Posted
Agreed. At least offer to pay. Thank him for being so generous and tell him you would like to pick up the tab this time. If he says it's his treat, fine. Thank him again.

I have a colleague that invits me out to his club a few times each year. It's sort of "work related" (I spend a lot of money with him each year) and I know the invite is in appreciation of the business (and we are casual friends) but I always offer to pay. I haven't yet (even for snacks, drinks, etc. but I make the effort each time to at least let him know that I appreciate the fact that he is spending his money on me.

Slim 11
Driver: Cobra F-Speed 10.5*
3 wood: Cobra F Speed
5 wood: Cobra F Speed
Irons: Cobra 3100H/I 3-PWSW: Pixl 56*Putter: Monza Rossa MalletBall: Slazenger Raw Feel


Posted
Oh man can I relate to this. My girlfriend's mother and father have paid for about 10 round of golf for me over the years. I guess they don't mind because my playing means she will come play with them as well... but still, I am getting into major greens fee debt...
Bag: Flight SS
Driver: 10.5* r5 draw with Pro Launch blue 65 Stiff
Irons: CCi Forged 3i-pw
Wedges: 56* CG12 black pearl and 60* low bounce RTG 900
Putter: i-Series Anser 35"Ball: e5+Tee: Zero FrictionGlove: FootJoy WeatherSofRangefinder: MedalistShoes: Sp-6 II, Adidas 360Scores this year:92 91...

Posted
only go golfing with him if its in your budget, so that way incase you cant pay and you tell him its out your budget to pay at that course before hand than you will avoid that wierd akwardness when one of you has to bring out the cash at the starters desk

Posted
This is a secret test that your girlfriend's dad is using to determine if you are a fit suitor of his daughter. Keeping quiet, not offering to cover your own expense, or any hint of being dependent on "old dad" to take care of you is not good. As a father of daughters, we are always looking for signs....

You might try this... "I would love to play, but I am saving money to pay for my medical school tuition." Or, "I would love to play, but I set limits on what I can spend for personal enjoyment because I am saving money so when I can finally commit to marriage I can buy a house that has plenty of room for when we have kids, and the grandparents will have a nice place to stay when they visit. Or, "Thank you so much for asking but I am investing everything I can right now while the market is down."

There are a million good answers but doing nothing is not one of them.

RC

 


Posted
  RC said:
This is a secret test that your girlfriend's dad is using to determine if you are a fit suitor of his daughter. Keeping quiet, not offering to cover your own expense, or any hint of being dependent on "old dad" to take care of you is not good. As a father of daughters, we are always looking for signs....

Listen to this man - he knows of what he speaks.


Posted
I agree with the you trying to pay. The 1st time is kind of awesome that he paid for you.... but the 2nd time i'd try to pay myself...and if he says he's got you..then say something like..I got us on a round or 2 of drinks during or after you play.... even it out....
DJ Yoshi
Official DJ: Rutgers Football
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In My Bag
HiBoreXL 9.5 White Board D63 Stiff Exotics CB2 5 Wood, Exotics CB3 3 Wood MP-60 5.5 Flighted Shafts 54 & Cleveland CG-10 60 Newport 2

Posted
  Leftygolfer said:
Try to pay for yourself. If he insists to pay, let him. But try to pay.

I agree this is the best policy.

  RC said:
This is a secret test that your girlfriend's dad is using to determine if you are a fit suitor of his daughter. Keeping quiet, not offering to cover your own expense, or any hint of being dependent on "old dad" to take care of you is not good. As a father of daughters, we are always looking for signs....

I agree it's a test, and I agree that saying nothing is failing the test. however your example answers would also fail to me as they sound SUPER contrived. Just go in and pull out your wallet fully expecting to take out the cash and make him make you put it back. That's the test in my mind - Self sufficient enough to be able/willing to pay, yet confident enough to allow the old fellow his prerogative to pay without feeling "less than" because you didn't pay your own way.

In the bag:
905R 9.5° - UST ProForce V2 65R
909F2 15.5° Titleist Diamana 75
909H 19° Titleist Diamana 80
Zing 2 3-PW Vokey SM48.08 @ 51° Vokey SM56.11 Unitized Leo

Posted

print out all the replies here and hand him a copy. It'll show you think ahead.

seriously though. dont do that.

In my Navy Hoofer:
Driver: Titleist 909D2 9.5* UST ProForce V2 X-stiff
3W: 904F 15* DG X100
Hybrid: X-Hybrid 3i Fujikura Banzai Stiff
Irons: MP-57 X200 3-PW

Wedges: Gauge Design Handmade 54* and 60*

Putter: SSB LKG Custom "Masters Edition"

Ball: Penta, Pro-v1x

Other: Pinseeker 1500 Tournament


Posted
Tell him "Just because you're paying for my round, don't think I won't be taking any liberties with your daughter." I bet he let's you pay for it then.

:D

Kevin

-------
In the Bag
Driver: G15 9.0*3 & 5 Wood: BurnerHybrid: Pro Gold 20*; 23*Irons: MP-58 (5-PW)Wedges: Vokey Spin Milled 52*8; 56*14Putter: Newport 2.0 33"Balls: NXT


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