Top 10 Golfing No-Nos

[Zeph]

A list of items serious golfers wouldn't be seen dead with. Some of this is sure to upset a few folks, but chill folks, it's tongue in cheek

Shorts
Golf isn't tennis and most golfers' legs aren't like Pete Sampas'. So cover them up please!

Agreed, I always golf in pants.

Towel Clipped to Belt
Just wrong. Like wearing a sporren without a kilt.

Never seen anyone with it, but OK.

Novlety Ian Poulter Headcover
Why? One of the man is enough for most. Bet Monty hasn't got one.

Doesn't bother me.

Score Clicker
If you can't remember how many shots you've played, should you be playing at all?

If it helps high handicappers keep their score, I don't mind.

Sponge Ball cleaner / Club Brush
Too many things dangling from your bag destroys all credibility. What's wrong with a towel?

I've got both. The ball cleaner I keep in my pocket and is very nice. I put the bag down toward the next tee then go on to the green. If the ball is greasy, covered in sand or grass I clean it with the ball cleaner. The club brush I use mostly on my wedges. Usually the towel does the trick, but what's wrong with club care?

Black Golf Glove
You're not Billy Idol, so don't do it!

Who cares?

Coloured Golf Balls
Another item only ever likely to boost the confidence of opponents

The ladies likes them, I don't mind.

Ball Monogrammer
Why spend hours stamping your initials on your ball with a nut-cracker when you're going to lose it within milliseconds?

A bit much, I agree.

Ball Retreiver
Sends out alal the wrong messages about your golfing prowess to any opponent

Some people seem to feel good for picking up other players' balls. As long as they don't go looking for balls all the time, I don't mind.

Plastic castle / Fixed Height Tees
How are you supposed to vary tee height as and when conditions dictate with these fixed-height puppies?

Do you think the players using these have the skill to vary tee height depending on conditions? Some may have, but all I've seen don't. It's easy to misjudge the tee height with the driver, if it helps them, why not?

[MMouse]

Shorts
- I gotta do it. Outside of work, a wedding or a funeral in the summer you will not find me in pants.

Towel Clipped to Belt
- I've never ever seen this.

Score Clicker
- No, and I've only golfed with one person who did. It was a watch style that he had on. I didn't mind as his shot count was even higher than my own. During the round ( great guy, great sense of humor so it was all in good fun ) on the 14th hole he found himself in a sandtrap in front of the green with a very steep wall in his way from getting out. I was waiting by the green to putt as was our third. He would swing, stop, click, swing, stop, click, etc etc. By the 5th or 6th shot we all burst out laughing from his routine/sound effects.


Novlety Ian Poulter Headcover
-Nope and never.

Sponge Ball cleaner / Club Brush
- I do have a brush, though I don't always leave it on.

Black Golf Glove
- Not for me, but whatever floats your boat.

Coloured Golf Balls
I have a few I found on the course. I use em with the kids, and when I practice at an empty field near by ( surprising well kept and cut I might add )

Ball Monogrammer
- Nope, althought wife did order me some with kids names on them for Father's day last year. Those are long gone tho :)

Ball Retreiver
-Never had one. If it's in the water, it's in the water.

Plastic castle / Fixed Height Tees
- Not for me. When I started golfing a guy I went with used these and I thought they must have been great because he was "good". Now that I am improving ( and beat him during our only round this year ) he is no longer "good" and I have no desire to use these tees.

[denver_nuggs_15]

Shorts

I wear shorts 97% of the time I'm on a course. It gets hot in the summer and no chance I'm making my round hotter than it has to be.

Novlety Ian Poulter Headcover

I like some of the novelty head covers and if I get good enough, I think I'm going to cover my putter with one of those (if I can find one). Most novelty covers for woods aren't much more flashy than custom Cameron covers.

Ball Monogrammer

What if you don't lose a lot of balls? I usually use 2 per round. Sometimes more if I'm pissed and I throw a ball into the water or woods.

Ball Retreiver

Fishing annoys so much out of me. First, it slows play. Second, some balls that are in water for too long get water logged (this is what I've been told anyway) and they become bad balls. I don't mind if someone hits one ball into the water and gets HIS ball back. Maybe one or two others that weren't his. If you find your ball, stop searching for others.

I see a couple of folks saying a club brush is a must?

I caddie. I clean clubs. I've used brushes occassionally. I usually don't though. It's just more convenient to use a towel in my situation. If I'm golfing, I use a towel, but it's more out of comfort. If I learned golf club cleaning with a brush like some may have, then I'd probably be more comfortable using a brush.

I am really suprised no one has mentioned a few other key things "real" golfers don't use (and I'm sure this will offend some)...

I hate iron covers (mostly since I caddie and they're a pain...but all headcovers are really). I hate staff bags. They're a pain to carry and unless you're crazy good, you look like a douche. Chippers are just crazy. I already have a chipper in my bag...it's called an 8 iron. Or a hybrid. No need for a separate club that's not versatile. Clubs by one company don't bother me if they're the best clubs for that particular person. If not, it's kind of tacky.

[bogeyhitter25]

I agree with all of them except the shorts, and the club brush. A towel doesn't cut it for filthy grooves.

[n8ron]

Would somebody please enlighten me about using a black glove?

I'll also add one of my own:
Carrying your clubs like Robin Hood. (Arrow quiver)

[sean_miller]

Would somebody please enlighten me about using a black glove?

You have to read this one in proper golf "fashion" context. These are the same people who "match" white belts to brown shoes.

I don't recall Billy Idol wearing one black glove either - maybe they're thinking of Wacko Jacko!?!?

[NZGolfer]

Agree with all except the shorts one, the brush one and the plastic tees one.

Whats wrong with wearing shorts, need a brush to clean the grooves and you can vary the hight of the plastic tess just stick them in further or not as much or use a different tee with iron/3 wood.

[n8ron]

Would somebody please enlighten me about using a black glove? I'll also add one of my own: Carrying your clubs like Robin Hood. (Arrow quiver) You have to read this one in proper golf "fashion" context. These are the same people who "match" white belts to brown shoes. I don't recall Billy Idol wearing one black glove either - maybe they're thinking of Wacko Jacko!?!?

So, since I have black shoes and other stuff, the black glove is okay right?

[EGS]

To the poster that said JD and Lefty are not athletes, you are a moron. Athletic bodies, maybe not. But those guys are both world class athletes.

[Big_M]

To the poster that said JD and Lefty are not athletes, you are a moron. Athletic bodies, maybe not. But those guys are both world class athletes.

I know... people fall into two categories with the whole golfers / athletes debate... you'll never change anyone's mind regarding it either. I am with you though, Pro Golfers (every one of them, Stads included) are amazing athletes. People who say otherwise just want to draw arbitrary lines and think illogically.

[bobbydacron]

Shorts, no biggie. However, how about Knicker bockers? Those are really pretensious unless you are a single handicap - in which feel free to do whatever you want

Black glove, hey as long as its not sequined I'm ok

Pink balls...well that one is just too easy. Don't we all play with pink balls

Brush, i think that one is just to make up the 10 things

Cigar smoking, obviously you have never smoked a cigar. If you have then you would know that its part of the experience and goes hand in hand (or hand in club). However I will admit that if you are Cigar adverse, then it would be obnoxious, but please don't call us douches...that's not nice

Here's a couple more to think about...

Brush hanging off a belt (unless you are into the whole dominatrix thing)

Everything matching, down to the belt, gloves, shoes and umbrella

Wearing a red shirt with black pants at the Muni on Sunday - unless your first name is Tiger and you feel like slumming

[Dub]

A list of items serious golfers wouldn't be seen dead with. Some of this is sure to upset a few folks, but chill folks, it's tongue in cheek

I agree with most of the points.

[mapa94]

I also disagree with the pants and brush, but the rest are good. Played in pants once and felt like I was in a straightjacket. Most sports aren't played wearing pants and unless you are in a cold climate, I don't see why someone would choose pants over shorts.

Todays high is 106 and I doubt that anyone on the course will be sporting a pair of trousers.

[kfowler]

A list of items serious golfers wouldn't be seen dead with. Some of this is sure to upset a few folks, but chill folks, it's tongue in cheek

Some people are just trying to hit it straight.

[TheLauncher]

I think the clip-on accessory bag should be added to the list. You know the ones you always seem to get as gifts, with the short tees sticking out, the combination club brush/divot tool, ball markers, pencil, nail clippers (wtf?), etc. Or those rubber ones meant to clip on the bag that you can shove tees in from both sides and ball markers in the front. How is that easier than having them in your pocket?

[sean_miller]

A list of items serious golfers wouldn't be seen dead with. Some of this is sure to upset a few folks, but chill folks, it's tongue in cheek

These are just funny more than anything - they're not completely useless when found broken, because they usually have some sharp parts that are good for cleaning the grooves - and they're disposable! Unlike regular broken tees they're not great on par-3s. To the list, I would add the person carryiing greater than or equal to 14 clubs when they can only reasonably hit about 6 of them?

[VOX]

At my club, any black clothing or "man Jewelry" other than a wedding band would be considered a no-no unless you are trying out for a role on the Sapranos.

[NativeTxn]

To the poster that said JD and Lefty are not athletes, you are a moron. Athletic bodies, maybe not. But those guys are both world class athletes.

Agreed. And who is to say what an "athletic" body is?

We have our image of football or basketball players that are fairly slender, but ripped (e.g. T.O.), and think that anyone that is bigger or doesn't have a 6-pack is out of shape. However, I think some folks in Japan and other Asian countries who revere sumo wrestlers might disagree. Also, NFL D and O-linemen don't have what many would consider "athletic" bodies, but they are some of the most ridiculously athletic people on the planet.