Golf's Five Sacred Rules

[bong_crosby]

In the November Golf Digest, there was a letter from the editor about golf's five sacred rules. Here's what he thought was important:

1. The most important: Never throw a club in anger.
2. Do not change your shoes in the parking lot. (Perfectly OK at a public course, but the locker room at private clubs is preserved as the last bastion of golfing ablutions.)
3. No blue jeans, even the expensive kind.
4. Take off your hat when you go indoors or when sitting down to eat.
5. No cell phones on the course or in the clubhouse. (One club I know is very tough on this: Mobile phones are only permissible sitting in your car in the parking lot with the windows rolled shut. A friend of mine adheres to this rule with his convertible top down.)

This guy must live in an alternate universe than myself and the other golfers I know. The only rule that seems important to me or is anywhere near sacred is number one. No changing shoes in the parking lot? Really!? Hell, I've changed from pants to shorts in the parking. I wonder what he'd have to say about that. No blue jeans? Here in Idaho, blue jeans are acceptable attire for the governor's ball so I think they're okay for the course. Take your hat off? I spent 20 years and 9 days in the military and I took my hat off every time I entered a building, but only when I was in uniform. Last time I checked, we don't wear uniforms in golf.

So, it got me wondering what my five sacred rules would be and here they are in no particular order:

1. Don't be a dick (or dickette). This is a catch-all rule that would cover rule #1 in the previous list.
2. When you're on the practice putting green (especially when it's crowded) don't stand right next to the hole you're not putting at. It's ties up that hole and is inconsiderate.
3. Fix your ••••in' pitch mark, •••••••. This should be covered in rule #1 but apparently people don't get it. I'm not sure what is so difficult about bending over and poking the ground a few times. Maybe it's the guy who is going for his record time around the course. See rule #4.
4. Don't brag about how fast you made it around the track. I'm not saying we should spend five hours on the course and wait five minutes between shots but for ••••'s sake, take some time to enjoy the round.
5. Don't be offended if people swear. There's nothing like a guttural F-bomb to get the bad taste of an errant shot out of your system.
6. Get out and walk sometimes. It feels good. You'll see things you never noticed while in a cart.

Whew! That felt kind of good. So, are there any rules you agree or disagree with or are there some you think should be added?

[pxc]

It'd be hard to narrow them down to 5 I think, but if 4 of your 5 don't actually pertain to playing golf, you're doing it wrong.

[murphmjm]

5. No cell phones on the course or in the clubhouse. (One club I know is very tough on this: Mobile phones are only permissible sitting in your car in the parking lot with the windows rolled shut. A friend of mine adheres to this rule with his convertible top down.)

that should be rule 1 on any list

[rjfan91]

I disagree with your ability to count to 5.

I'm not sure your #4 is all that important. There are far worse out there. i.e. I don't want to listen to you recount your 4 hour round for the next 6 hours. In fact, your 6 rules should be 1a, 1b, 1c, 1d, 2 & 3.

#5 is a taste thing. I doubt many people are offended by swearing. But, it is typically a sign of boorish behavior and one step from throwing a club.

My 5:

1. Don't be a dick.

Well, that's pretty much all I have.

[Par Fore]

1. Be honest - it's a game of honor and it's OK to put an 8 on your scorecard...
2. Play by the rules, or at least some resemblance to them.....
3. Enjoy your round - we all hit bad shots, enjoy a little anger and then let it go...
4. Respect the course - fix your divots, ball marks, and don't park your cart where it doesn't belong
5. Respect your fellow golfers - keep up a reasonable pace of play, show some respect, be considerate, and be tolerant...

[Par Fore]

Oh, wanted to add a quick 6th rule....

If the cart girl looks 16, she probably is.....unless you are on the high school golf team, you shouldn't be staring at her like she's for dinner

[walk18]

Ok I am personally not a fan of jeans, but who the hell cares when I put my golf shoes on or if I wear a hat indoors?? How does that affect anyone else?

[trog2233]

Im a member of a country club and I put my shoes on in the parking lot every time i play? I didnt know this was looked down on?

[right handed phil mickelson]

Oh, wanted to add a quick 6th rule....

Rule need not apply to me. That hot cart girl is my gf ;)

[DavidFehertysBike]

My only rules are have some common courtesy for your parters and respect the golf course . Replace divots, rake bunkers, etc..

i also think golf carts should be completly outlawed unless your senior or disabled..but that is a whole another issue..

[zeg]

1. The most important: Never throw a club in anger.

Agree. I'm guilty of this, but working on it.

2. Do not change your shoes in the parking lot. (Perfectly OK at a public course, but the locker room at private clubs is preserved as the last bastion of golfing ablutions.)

Dumb.

3. No blue jeans, even the expensive kind.

Dumb, unless it's part of the written dress code.

4. Take off your hat when you go indoors or when sitting down to eat.

Depends on the course. This is a mostly antiquated rule of general etiquette, IMO. If it's a very fancy setting, still applicable, but most clubhouses/pro shops I've been to aren't the sort where this is an issue.

5. No cell phones on the course or in the clubhouse. (One club I know is very tough on this: Mobile phones are only permissible sitting in your car in the parking lot with the windows rolled shut. A friend of mine adheres to this rule with his convertible top down.)

This is too extreme. It's possible to politely use a cell phone and, like the hat rule, this outright ban on their use is pretty much antiquated. On the course, it's rare that you'll have need (or time) to use one, but I've seen lawyers use them the right way---during a time when they'd otherwise be waiting, a 2 minute call to the office saved abandoning the round. It didn't slow anyone down, and despite the difficulty some mouth breathers seem to have with this, it is possible to speak quietly on a cell phone so you don't share your end of the conversation with the whole back 9.

In the clubhouse it's even less of an issue. Find a quiet spot where you won't bother anyone and make the call. What's the problem? Again, if you're yelling and bothering the whole room, that's a problem. But it's possible to use a cell phone politely almost anywhere.

Hell, I've changed from pants to shorts in the parking.

Careful, in some states this might put you on the sex offender registry. Think of the children!!

1. Don't be a dick (or dickette).

Good general rule for life.

2. When you're on the practice putting green (especially when it's crowded) don't stand right next to the hole you're not putting at. It's ties up that hole and is inconsiderate.

Good ones. I'll throw in that once you've got your pitch mark tool out, you might as well fix a couple other stray marks, but don't scour the whole green. If everyone fixed a couple near their own, the problem will be solved pretty fast.

4. Don't brag about how fast you made it around the track. I'm not saying we should spend five hours on the course and wait five minutes between shots but for ••••'s sake, take some time to enjoy the round.

For #4, good point, but I wouldn't put it in the top few rules; I think it sorta fits in with your #1. For #5, I'd say don't swear, but don't be offended if others do. I swear more than I should on the course and, as cleansing as a good round of swearing can be, I think it'd be better to work on finding more constructive ways to get the bad taste out. Like club tossing, I'm working on this one myself.

6. Get out and walk sometimes. It feels good. You'll see things you never noticed while in a cart.

Good advice, but not something I'd put on the rules.

Whew! That felt kind of good. So, are there any rules you agree or disagree with or are there some you think should be added?

0) Call "Fore!" on an errant shot, even if you're "sure" that no one is in that stand of trees. A little shout never hurt anyone, but a golf ball to the temple can.

1) Learn the rules of golf well enough that you know whether you're following them or not. If you prefer not to, fine, but be honest with yourself and others about this. Corollary: Don't worry about whether your playing partners are following the rules to the letter unless it's competition, they're posting for an official handicap, etc. 2) Play your own game, let your partners play their own game. Unless they're paying you for lessons, don't offer advice unless it's asked for. Corollary: We know you're not happy that your tee shot ended up on the far side of the neighboring fairway. We know you didn't mean to skull that chip over the green into the trap. We know it probably worked better when you were practicing on the range/chipping green. You don't need to explain that again and again. 3) Keep up with the group ahead. If you can't and there's empty space ahead, let the group on your heels through. Corollary: If there's no room ahead, don't insist on passing a group who's keeping up. If the course is full, needless passing will actually slow things down. Learn to play slowly when you have to. 4) Follow the basic etiquette to a T. Stay off my line. Rake your trap. Fix your pitch marks. Be quiet when someone has addressed the ball until a moment after their shot. Et cetera. 5) Keep the course clean. If you're drinking, smoking, chewing, etc, make sure your waste finds its way to a trash can. If someone else hasn't followed this rule, clean it up for them.

[jlh1508]

that should be rule 1 on any list

what about in my case where the ringer is off but I use it as my gps?

[mdl]

Keep the course clean. If you're drinking, smoking, chewing, etc, make sure your waste finds its way to a trash can. If someone else hasn't followed this rule, clean it up for them.

I'm with the consensus that most of the rules from Golf Digest are for crotchety old guys who can't get over the fact that it's not 1940 anymore. The real rules you should follow have all been mentioned, but I wanted to second this one. I smoke sometimes on the course, but I always put the cigarette out and put in an outer mesh pocket in my bag until I get to the next tee with a trash can. It really bothers me when I squat down to read a putt and I'm standing over a cigarette butt.

[Par Fore]

Cell phones.....to an extent, the Golf Digest people have a point.....I get someone wanting to check messages at the turn, but cell phones should be on silent and not be answered during the round.....it's rude.....this is also a pet peeve of mine at restaurants....I kinda miss 20 years ago when you never heard an annoying cell during a round of golf......some of the days of old school manners like not talking on the phone at the table still exist in our house and I'm glad.....

[ET-Taylor]

5) Keep the course clean. If you're drinking, smoking, chewing, etc, make sure your waste finds its way to a trash can. If someone else hasn't followed this rule, clean it up for them.

if you think im picking up a bit of chewed chewing gum u are having a laugh

[Chas]

Im a member of a country club and I put my shoes on in the parking lot every time i play? I didnt know this was looked down on?

Please provide the name of your club here ....

<..............................> ...... so that we can report you to your to the Ethics Committee and appropriate action can be taken. Zeg: it depends on how far you throw it. At a certain club near you, if it ends up in the Bowl you've gone too far ....

[Jay-Bird]

1. Don't be a dick (or dickette). This is a catch-all rule that would cover rule #1 in the previous list.

1. Understand and abide by basic golf etiquette

2. Understand and follow the Rules of Golf 3. Love thy neighbor, aka Don't be a dick

[sean_miller]

Probably the wrong thread for this anecdote, but what the hey.

Last autumn (before the leaves really started to fall) I was golfing with 3 members at a local "semi-private" club (wtf is "semi-private" anyway?) and they were discussing a prank someone played a couple nights before. Someone dropped marshmallows here and there around the course - people kept mistaking them for their tee shots. They were mad as hell. I burst out laughing every time I thought about it - what a simple but brilliant prank. They weren't impressed. It was an awkward moment.



PS. I was not in any way involved with the marshmallow incident - but still.