Qualified for a tournament. Bad father? Wife guilt trip

[kris]

Why don't some of you try and get your wives/gfs/significant others to play golf with you instead? As a poster above said, once his kid started playing, all of a sudden it's something you do together. I started snowbaording and golfing with my gf and it's an awesome time we can spend together doing something and being outside on the weekends. No?

It seems like some of the people who complain about their wives/gfs getting on them about golf are the same ones who treat golf as "alone time" and have absolutely no intention of wanting to share that time with them, for whatever reason.

[sean_miller]

Playing any sport (skiing, soccer, hockey, golf, etc) once a week is a pretty good amount, when it comes to 2-3 times a week, it's normal not too be too thrilled about it when you're the other person.

All sports are not equal. Comparing golf and snowboarding to hockey for example is a stretch. I can go play in my hockey league just down the street, after the sun goes down, and after the kids are in bed.

Aren't most sports a way to escape, well, pretty much everything?

[alf174]

Some women are naive about how men socialize; we're activity based, usually around a sport.

[senorchipotle]

Amen Brother Senorchipotle, I am 100% behind you on this one, you just made my day with a good laugh....lol

lol... seriously man, dude didn't offer any kind of friendly man to man advice, nothing. just bam, ''gimme money and we'll talk.'' betcha anything you want he's got a nicer car than both of us. i'm guessing a cadillac.

[shades9323]

All sports are not equal. Comparing golf and snowboarding to hockey for example is a stretch. I can go play in my hockey league just down the street, after the sun goes down, and after the kids are in bed.

Do your kids go to bed really early? Or just play really late? Our latest game starts at 8:15.

[sean_miller]

In the summer I don't play hockey. During the winter months (approximately October to March) it gets dark at suppertime in Canada. Summer is good though - last night I teed off at 7:20 and played 18 holes.

[he4dhuntr]

All sports are not equal. Comparing golf and snowboarding to hockey for example is a stretch. I can go play in my hockey league just down the street, after the sun goes down, and after the kids are in bed.

I think the difference between hockey and soccer when compared to golf and skiing is that the former you don't necessarily need to devote as much time to on a single outing (i.e., skiing you have to drive to the hill and pay for a 4 or 8 hour block. Golf is 9 or 18 holes, both of which take some time to complete). I also think that if you play hockey after your kids are in bed, they must go to bed pretty early... but maybe it depends on the leagues. Either way, if you were out of the house 2-3 nights a week playing hockey, I'm sure it wouldn't be uncomprehensible why your S/O might not be super happy about it (not necessarily mustn't like it, just saying it's kind of understandable if they may not).

As for sports being a way to escape "everything", I don't really agree. I truly wish my gf could play all sports with me at the same level as I. Snowboading she's definitely getting there, and golf we started together. I can easily tell you that it's very enjoyable to do these things with her and has actually brought us closer together. Spending time together actually doing things (rather than just TV, restaurants, or taking walks) is supposed to be fun. I'm not saying you can't have your alone time or guys nights out for golf or to watch a hockey game, I'm just saying that sports should be a hobbie (something you enjoy doing no matter with whom), rather than solely an "escape". I think you should like playing sports with your s/o. If he/she would genuinely want to do these things with you and you wouldn't enjoy it, there may be an issue no? Cheers,

[Sowbug2000]

HeadHunter,

Wait til you get married!!! Owwwww!!!! But seriously, when you do and if you have kid(s), Golf may be your only "social" men's outing. Pretty much is for me, and that's okay, but you really want to enjoy yourself and take those oppportunities when you can - once a week, twice a month, whatever.

This whole goat rodeo the OP has gotten himself into is a real pickle....I wouldn't want to be in it. He's probably not going to be happy either way....ticked if he has to bail on his partner and the thrill of competing.....or peeved that the wive drew her line in the sand about Family vs. Golf.

Good luck, Brother!

[shades9323]

In the summer I don't play hockey. During the winter months (approximately October to March) it gets dark at suppertime in Canada. Summer is good though - last night I teed off at 7:20 and played 18 holes.

I don't play in the summer either. Mine run from Oct-March. I know what you mean about when it gets dark. Of course I live more north than at least 25% of the Canadian population.

[chriskzoo]

You were right about one thing. You don't understand. The Op's wife isn't asking him to give up golf. The OP could have avoided the whole situation if he would have checked when the final was. It has been on the GAM website all season long. When he was setting this up it isn't that hard to say, "if I make the final it would be on this day, do we have anything going on then?"

LOL, dude, it's kindergarten, not my daughter's graduation from high school or her wedding, which is what some seem to be equating it to. Depending on tee times, I may be there and if not I will pick her up.

I plan on being at every one of my kid's sporting events, school functions, etc., but I'm also not so naive to think that I will be able to be at all of them or that missing one because of another conflict is something that is going to (or should) ruin my family.

[jlh1508]

No offense to you personally but unless you are degreed & certified by the state with a license, I've seen & experienced those in the clergy that try to counsel make things worse. One example is the pastor I trusted for 35 years. I pray you're not one of them.

I am licensed, but I was not serious with my offer. It was said in jest

[jlh1508]

dude, are you f'n serious? first of all, the title ''pastor'' doesn't give you any authority to be counseling couples, and doesn't automatically gain you respect. secondly, this is a peer sight, so we don't solicit others for money unless we're selling equipment,etc., in which case both parties have something tangible to offer.

it was said in jest and next time I will be sure to post a picture of my masters degree in Counseling and have others come and share there experiences with me as a testimony.

People need to learn how to take a joke But just so we are clear, the title pastor actually gives me all kinds of authority for counseling but thats another topic for another thread

[sean_miller]

it was said in jest and next time I will be sure to post a picture of my masters degree in Counseling and have others come and share there experiences with me as a testimony.

No $hit . . .

[jamo]

To the OP: it's not going to matter at all to your kid if you miss their first day of kindergarten. I had possibly the worst first day of kindergarten possible (I had just moved and was supposed to be in a class with my one and only friend, but got switched out when I walked in the door, into a class with the meanest teacher in the school), and I turned out all right. If you want to make up for it, take them out for ice cream later or play catch or something. How much it matters to your wife is another story.

[colin007]

"women...cant live with 'em, cant kill 'em..."

[Shorty]

But just so we are clear, the title pastor actually gives me all kinds of authority for counseling but thats another topic for another thread

Good grief. You wouldn't believe that it was 2010, would you? Your title of "pastor" does not give you any "authority" to counsel anyone. It certainly does not give you "all kinds" of authority. And....to be blunt, the type of "counseling" offered by anyone in a religious context is the kind that we can do without. For centuries, religious folk have used this belief in their own authority to the detriment of millions of people. I would run a mile from someone who called themself a "pastor" and a million miles from a "pastor" who believed he had "authority" over anything or anyone.

Oh... and to the OP. Who's going to school? You or the child? I thought the only requirement was a photo with the missing front teeth and the school uniform.

[colin007]

Good grief. You wouldn't believe that it was 2010, would you? Your title of "pastor" does not give you any "authority" to counsel anyone. It certainly does not give you "all kinds" of authority. And....to be blunt, the type of "counseling" offered by anyone in a religious context is the kind that we can do without. For centuries, religious folk have used this belief in their own authority to the detriment of millions of people. I would run a mile from someone who called themself a "pastor" and a million miles from a "pastor" who believed he had "authority" over anything or anyone.

dude, thats totally unnecessary...

[sean_miller]

Good grief. You wouldn't believe that it was 2010, would you? Your title of "pastor" does not give you any "authority" to counsel anyone. It certainly does not give you "all kinds" of authority. And....to be blunt, the type of "counseling" offered by anyone in a religious context is the kind that we can do without. For centuries, religious folk have used this belief in their own authority to the detriment of millions of people. I would run a mile from someone who called themself a "pastor" and a million miles from a "pastor" who believed he had "authority" over anything or anyone.

I believe he was speaking about his credentials. There are a lot of people who've gone through and experience terrible things who have been helped by religious organizations like Catholic Social Services and the Salvation Army. Are there some lunatics or sociopaths in those organizations? Look around you - odds are very high, based on general population stats. Doesn't mean it's all bunk - not talking about the big questions - talking about helping people in the here and now.

But of course I digress . . . I think the OP and his wife are fighting about other things. This golf / school conflict just happens to be on the table at the moment.