Is it rude to play tees further from partners?

[newtogolf]

I really can't believe that there are people that would be mad/upset or whatever about somebody wanting to play from a different set of tees.

Maybe the correct term is less anti-social and more insensitive. We all understand there are different tees for different skill levels. I don't see anyone saying that it's wrong to play from deeper tees, we're simply stating that some people might not be understanding and take exception to it. Some people are very competitive and aren't honest or realistic about the strength of their game. When you tell those types of people you're playing from deeper tees, the implied statement could be that "I'm a better golfer than you", which would result in hard feelings or the guy attempting to play from the same tees as you.

People are individuals, and each person handles these types of situations differently. We're all in agreement it would be okay, but there are probably some people we know that wouldn't be because of their personalities.

[NI4NI]

It's your round - play from where you want. No issue from what I can see...

[sean_miller]

Look... It's like I said before... The different tees are there for a REASON! Each person needs to play the tees that are best suited for their game. If that means one at the tips and the other three at the whites then so be it. If anybody gets offended by this, then too bad... they shouldn't be. They are there to make the course playable for golfers of all skill levels. If one person has a lot of skill, they go to the back, not so much skill, not so far back. I really can't believe that there are people that would be mad/upset or whatever about somebody wanting to play from a different set of tees.

Actually the way you worded it could offend a shorter hitter. When I'm playing with strangers, I tend to play from whatever tees they play from. Who am I to say they have less skill? Wait until we're on the green - then we'll compare skill.

Speaking of which, if some guys get to play a teebox that's closer to the hole, can I putt to a bigger hole on a flatter part of the green?

[allin]

I'm going to disagree with the majority so far. I wouldn't say it was

I kind of support this point of view. I would not say it was rude to play differnent tees, after all forward tees are played in mixed company all the time. It does make teeing off slower and a little bit more awkward, and in a non competive round I feel the idea should be for everyone to feel comfortable and have fun. I would move up and see it as a chance to experience the course in a different way, maybe as an experiment to see how much difference it really makes. That way you don't risk making the others uncomfortable and the round less enjoyable for everyone. I might add when you play with teaching pros in casual rounds, play with the pro days at private clubs etc., most play from the tees chosen by the non pro.

[tristanhilton85]

Maybe the correct term is less anti-social and more insensitive. We all understand there are different tees for different skill levels. I don't see anyone saying that it's wrong to play from deeper tees, we're simply stating that some people might not be understanding and take exception to it. Some people are very competitive and aren't honest or realistic about the strength of their game. When you tell those types of people you're playing from deeper tees, the implied statement could be that "I'm a better golfer than you", which would result in hard feelings or the guy attempting to play from the same tees as you.

I see where you're coming from... People could take it wrong, I suppose, and that is just sad. Honestly they are there so that players of all skill can play the same course together, as a social activity. I just wish that these people (the ones that would take it poorly) would realize that it isn't a slight against them or anything, its just golf. There is so much to worry about in this game in general and offending people over the tees you want to play from shouldn't be one of them.

Actually the way you worded it could offend a shorter hitter. When I'm playing with strangers, I tend to play from whatever tees they play from. Who am I to say they have less skill? Wait until we're on the green - then we'll compare skill.

I wasn't trying to offend anybody by any means. I'm actually one of the "shorter" hitters with "less skill." Right now I shoot in the low to mid 90s and the right tees for me are the whites. I played a while back with a guy who plays to a plus hcp and he was playing from the tips. No big deal. I wasn't offended by him teeing off further back and nor was he offended by me playing further up.

I didn't mean to say that teeing up from a further tee box says that you have more skill than those playing from nearer ones. I was just trying to make the point that they are there for a reason, and people shouldn't forget that or be offended by it. Obviously there is more to golf than length off of the tee box and obviously play around the green will go a long way in determining skill, but that really isn't the topic of this thread. Obviously there are people who have differing views on this (as is evident from some other posts), so if I ever golf with them and am playing from a different tee box, let me apologize now.

Speaking of which, if some guys get to play a teebox that's closer to the hole, can I putt to a bigger hole on a flatter part of the green?

This would be nice, wouldn't it. So if I REALLY sucked, could I play from the closer tee

and use the larger hole? Somewhat related to this idea, I suppose: I played a course a while back where 3 or 4 of the holes had an "alternate" hole with and orange flag on the green and you could go to whichever one you wanted without penalty.

[tristanhilton85]

I kind of support this point of view. I would not say it was rude to play differnent tees, after all forward tees are played in mixed company all the time. It does make teeing off slower and a little bit more awkward, and in a non competive round I feel the idea should be for everyone to feel comfortable and have fun. I would move up and see it as a chance to experience the course in a different way, maybe as an experiment to see how much difference it really makes. That way you don't risk making the others uncomfortable and the round less enjoyable for everyone. I might add when you play with teaching pros in casual rounds, play with the pro days at private clubs etc., most play from the tees chosen by the non pro.

The problem though is that if I have to play the tips so everybody is "comfortable" I'm uncomfortable because I'm playing tees which are too long for me (at least right now). I know I wouldn't want to force them to have to move up and then not let them feel like they were being challenged enough by the course. If its just a one time thing or whatever, where one player moves up with the rest of the group, then thats cool... but what if its a regular foursome that golfs twice a week... Why should that longer hitter have to keep moving up? Just because one of the others in the group has a complex about how short he is off the tee? I mean really, it's not really that big of deal.

[kris]

As long as you let them know before stepping on to the first tee, what's the problem? Everyone should be free to play from whichever tee box they want. And I don't know of anybody who would feel slighted by this if it's all done in a friendly manner.

[sacm3bill]

Originally Posted by sean_miller

Are rounds with my wife antisocial because she tees off from the reds?

I don't mean to pick on you since I can tell by your posts you're a reasonable fellow, but I have to ask: Why is it antisocial for 2 guys to play from different tees, but not for a guy and his wife to play from different tees? The reason for playing different tees is exacly the same in either case, isn't it? (I.e., Play the tees that best suit your abilities/handicap.)

[SpoiledRotten]

I haven't read through the whole thread, but will they be more offended if you hit from the tees that make your game and theirs more equal or if you hit from their tee box and constantly hit much further? Either way, you'll be a different points on each hole (longer holes anyway). I play from the ones designed for my age, the wife plays from hers, and the seniors play from theirs. That makes the game more enjoyable to all. If you hit from theirs, would you feel that you needed to hold back your swing to keep from hitting it so far?

[Williamevanl]

LOL

hmm, seemed relevant because one guy said it and then another said clearly you don't understand the actual meaning of anti-social then. And it happens to be a word that apparently gets used incorrectly as it is here. Lacking consideration for people and being introverted deserves a clear distinction I feel.

[misty_mountainhop]

I think Jamo might have referring to the fact that the word anti-social is just being used incorrectly. Wiki to the rescue:

Can we get away from the "definition" (particularly one from such a flawed source as Wikipedia) of the term, "anti-social"? It's a catch-all term which clearly covers a spectrum of "abnormal" interactions with the perceived social norms; anything from one of my playing partners not wanting to come for a beer after a round for no good reason to someone of Norman Bates' ilk.

...People are individuals,...

(To be said in the style of an extra from The Life of Brian): I'm not!

I don't mean to pick on you since I can tell by your posts you're a reasonable fellow, but I have to ask: Why is it antisocial for 2 guys to play from different tees, but not for a guy and his wife to play from different tees? The reason for playing different tees is exacly the same in either case, isn't it? (I.e., Play the tees that best suit your abilities/handicap.)

You have a valid point and I have no defense really from this. All I can say is that, assuming I'm playing with my peer group, all mostly similar (

i.e. age, skill etc), I'd find one player insisting on playing off the back while the others are playing from the regular tees somewhat odd. There are occasions when it might not make sense for everyone to play from the same tees. That said, the last women I played with kicked my butt from my normal tees and off scratch!

[CrazyXGolfer]

Not rude at all! We have sombody who shoots 120's that usually plays with us. Then we have a female that also plays with us on alot.

The guy who shoots 120 usually plays from whites the rest of us (inc female) will play off the blacks. Somtimes we will play from whites just for fun :)

[ronaldkuntoro]

I played with a bunch of guys who tee off from the Black tee. While I'm on the blue tee. It's not rude but just a bit arrogant considering they drive only 230-250 yards instead of 270 yards like the pros.

[WUTiger]

Depends on the place where you play. Some country clubs and semi-privates dictate what tees you should use according to your handicap.

[james joule]

I play in revolving 4some that involves 6 guys. 4 of them range from scratch to 6 HC. Me and another guy are similar, low double-digit HC's. I'm a 13, he's a couple strokes better. The 4 better players always play from the tips. (Mostly 6800-7000+ here in Houston.) I always play from a tee box up. (I prefer 6500.) It makes the round more enjoyable for me, as I know my limitations. The other guy, close to my skill level but admittedly better, refuses to move up a box if anyone in else is playing tips because he believes he has the distance to play 7200 yards. If he's playing great, I agree. He can hit it far, but he's terribly inconsistent. I've been told by the other guys that they much prefer playing with someone that knows their tee box than someone who spends the majority of the round angry, frustrated, and scoring terribly.

[mfgorilla]

I think it depends on the type of round you are playing and who you are playing with. When I play with my usual group, who are all better players than I am, I have no problem teeing from the tee box in front of them. However, I recently played a purely social round with an old friend and I moved all the way up to the women's tees with her and had a more enjoyable round because of it.

[themightytimmah]

I don't have a problem with it. It's my first year of serious golf, so I usually hit from the whites and my buddies hit blues. If it's a casual round, I just let them tee off first, without regards to honors.

[allin]

The problem though is that if I have to play the tips so everybody is "comfortable" I'm uncomfortable because I'm playing tees which are too long for me (at least right now). I know I wouldn't want to force them to have to move up and then not let them feel like they were being challenged enough by the course. If its just a one time thing or whatever, where one player moves up with the rest of the group, then thats cool... but what if its a regular foursome that golfs twice a week... Why should that longer hitter have to keep moving up? Just because one of the others in the group has a complex about how short he is off the tee? I mean really, it's not really that big of deal.

Regular foursomes, shouldn't have an issue, if money is changing hands just make sure everyone uses the tee their handicap is figured from. I didn't want to make a seprate post, but using the word anti social in this context as some have is at least in a social work enviroment not appropriate. I did not take that way, just like people are often described as psycho or psychopaths, common usage and professional vary. Truly anti social behavior is not rude it is destructive both to the person exhibiting the behavior and others interacting with them. Dumping toxi waste for example is both a criminal and anti social behavior. Vandalism, substance abuse, etc not just the examples of isolating behavior can be considered anti social.