Unfair Treatment??? Or am I being too sensitive?

[hartattack52]

This has happened to me before too. I am only 16, so obviously a little younger than the guys in their 20's. I consistently shoot in the mid to low 80's right now. No one ever says anything to me when i'm with my dad or any older guys that i play with. The most memorable time was last summer. My 13 year old brother and i went to play by ourselves. We played the front nine with no problem. When we were about to tee up on 10, 2 guys and their kids come from the clubhouse. One of the guys starts yelling at us and getting an attitude about how we better not think about teeing off when there are 2 older guys waiting to play. He says they are having a father son outing and how great their kids are. He goes on to say that we are crazy if we think they are going to wait for 2 kids that will slow them down. I told him that we wouldn't slow them down and that we could actually play. He continued to tell us to move out of the way before we had a problem. I had my little brother tee off and i went into the clubhouse. The guy at the desk had been standing outside and overheard the whole thing. He had also watched us on the first hole (week night after school and there was hardly anyone there), so he knew we didn't suck. He told them to start on another whole or leave.

I also agree that many older people look down on younger guys, even with an adult with them. They make us feel like we don't deserve to play golf.

[jmanbooyaa]

Originally Posted by hartattack52

This has happened to me before too. I am only 16, so obviously a little younger than the guys in their 20's.

I also agree that many older people look down on younger guys, even with an adult with them. They make us feel like we don't deserve to play golf.

I wish I had started playing when I was younger. Anyway your last statement is ironic considering the state of golf in America(according to golf announcers) The PGA wants young people to play but the paying public doesn't seem to want them to. Very odd. Personally if you don't make it a point to bother me than no need to even think about it. Remember we are playing a game, how bad can life really be during a round of golf in the fresh air

[turtleback]

Originally Posted by ghalfaire

First I guess I have seen a lot of these thread--Old guy don't like young guys and are just naturally grumpy.  But I have yet to see a thread of old guys complaining about young people on the golf course (I mean 17-22 year old).  Now I haven't been on TST very long so maybe I just missed those threads.  You'd think there would be a preponderance of such threads if old guys are just grumpy, mean and prejudice against young men or maybe there are not any old men on TST, except me of course.

Well if everything was a the OP describes then the young men were certainly unfairly treated (three times in fact).  But since most golf courses don't have a wealth of paying customers these days I can't imagine one driving customers away by treating them badly.  So I'll admit the stories just don't "feel right" to me somehow and I suspect some selective perceptions are at work here.

Just as an aside, most rangers I know are retired people and work for just playing privileges to save a few bucks.  So they do tend to be older than the average golfers.  While I'm not 17 anymore I have found most all rangers to be pleasant and friendly in spite of the crap I have seen them subjected to at times.  Probably they just like other older grumpy people.

I think I'd qualify as an old guy (age 55).  Today I played with another guy and ahead of us we had a foursome of 3 young guys (early 20s - yes that is young to me) and maybe a 40 year old guy.  One of the guys had on baggy shorts, a tee shirt, and a golf hat on crooked.  Another guy had tattoos from his wrists up to where his arm disappeared into his tee shirt. They all looked a little scruffy.  And play was slow - athough it was clear that they were keeping up with the group in front of them.  We chatted with them a little on the tee boxes as they waited to tee off and they were the nicest guys.  They could hit the ball decently and you could tell that if they weren't being held up by players in front of them they a) would have played a lot faster, and b) would have invited us to play through.

At the turn they got a bite to eat so we got to the 10th hole before they did.  But before the group ahead cleared the green they got there, so of course we said they should play first.  But they insisted we go ahead, so we did.  Oy vey.

Now we were behind the guys that had been holding them up.  A foursome of 60-70 year olds who were terrible.  They were dressed to the nines, had the latest clubs, and one had his own customized cart.  They would tee off and then scatter to the 4 winds to find their balls.  They averaged one ball in the fairway every other hole.  Other than that they were generally way outside the tree line, whcih is pretty generous to start with, as this is not a tight course.  On one tee they said something about how they couldn't let us play through because there were 2 3-somes ahead of them - yet there was almost a clear hole ahead of them.  It was obvious that even if the course was empty ahead of them they would still play glacially slow.  I started wishing we had insisted the young guys tee off first, so I wouldn't have to watch these palookas spend 2 minutes taking practice swings before shanking the ball into a bush. And it looked like each guy waited until it was his turn before they even started thinking about the line of their putt.  And then it was the whole stalk around, plumb bob - and then 3-putt.  But hey, they looked great doing it.

Moral of the story:  Looks ain't everything.  I'd be happy to play with any of those young guys who started out ahead of us.  The old guys?  Even though they are much closer to me in age - not so much.

[Jchuba03]

Originally Posted by turtleback

I think I'd qualify as an old guy (age 55).  Today I played with another guy and ahead of us we had a foursome of 3 young guys (early 20s - yes that is young to me) and maybe a 40 year old guy.  One of the guys had on baggy shorts, a tee shirt, and a golf hat on crooked.  Another guy had tattoos from his wrists up to where his arm disappeared into his tee shirt. They all looked a little scruffy.  And play was slow - athough it was clear that they were keeping up with the group in front of them.  We chatted with them a little on the tee boxes as they waited to tee off and they were the nicest guys.  They could hit the ball decently and you could tell that if they weren't being held up by players in front of them they a) would have played a lot faster, and b) would have invited us to play through.

At the turn they got a bite to eat so we got to the 10th hole before they did.  But before the group ahead cleared the green they got there, so of course we said they should play first.  But they insisted we go ahead, so we did.  Oy vey.

Now we were behind the guys that had been holding them up.  A foursome of 60-70 year olds who were terrible.  They were dressed to the nines, had the latest clubs, and one had his own customized cart.  They would tee off and then scatter to the 4 winds to find their balls.  They averaged one ball in the fairway every other hole.  Other than that they were generally way outside the tree line, whcih is pretty generous to start with, as this is not a tight course.  On one tee they said something about how they couldn't let us play through because there were 2 3-somes ahead of them - yet there was almost a clear hole ahead of them.  It was obvious that even if the course was empty ahead of them they would still play glacially slow.  I started wishing we had insisted the young guys tee off first, so I wouldn't have to watch these palookas spend 2 minutes taking practice swings before shanking the ball into a bush. And it looked like each guy waited until it was his turn before they even started thinking about the line of their putt.  And then it was the whole stalk around, plumb bob - and then 3-putt.  But hey, they looked great doing it.

Moral of the story:  Looks ain't everything.  I'd be happy to play with any of those young guys who started out ahead of us.  The old guys?  Even though they are much closer to me in age - not so much.

You nailed it. We should all be happy just to be out there playing, not worrying about what everyone else is doing. It shouldnt matter how old or young you are, everyone should act the same way on the course. This thread has turned into a bashing of older golfers and rangers, which was not supposed to be the case. In fact, it's hypocritical. If everyone followed the same set of etiquette rules and manners, none of this would ever be an issue.

[allin]

Unfortunately you will find that there will be people who treat you badly at every stage of life based on their own perceptions and issues.  The first guy was probably giving preferential treatment to friends or regulars, he thought he could get away with it because you were young.  The second sounds like one of those angry individuals who always finds some reason to envy others.  They express their anger with this type of passive aggressive behavior.  Unfortunately you will find there are people who will treat you badly because of you current station in life.  Seat you the worst table in the  restaraunt because you have children.  Right now I am beginning to receive responses based on peoples assumption that middle aged people are not tech savy.  When I bought some memory for my fairly modest  mobile phone the checkout clerk asked  me why I was buying it.  I explained that I had just bought a car with bluetooth and I was going to use my phone as a music player in my car on occasion.  They informed me I was wasting my money and should buy and ipod.  Well I won't use it as a player anywhere but in my care and this way I only have to pair one device.  The truth is they assumed that I was ignorant and were being a tech snob. Using tech at the level you need and buying a cheap memory chip, $15.00 makes more sense than buying a separate device I will never use makes sense for me.  I don't hang out and share music with friends like my children. Each of these people were unable to see any point of view but their own. I encourage you to not let it bother you unless there is a reasonable way to respond or you are protecting yours or someone close to you from a serious denial of needed service or access.  Voting with your feet and letting them know it is the best response.

[ghalfaire]

Originally Posted by Jchuba03

You nailed it. We should all be happy just to be out there playing, not worrying about what everyone else is doing. It shouldnt matter how old or young you are, everyone should act the same way on the course. This thread has turned into a bashing of older golfers and rangers, which was not supposed to be the case. In fact, it's hypocritical. If everyone followed the same set of etiquette rules and manners, none of this would ever be an issue.

I guess that was all I was trying to say also.  Each generation gets its' fair share of butt ends and they don't change with age as a rule.  But I don't think getting old makes one grumpy or mean just as being young doesn't make one inconsiderate and disrespectful.   I play with a lot of young men and old men that are great golfers and considerate of their fellow golfers and I have played with a few old and young men that I won't play with again.  Fortunately the latter group is a small minority.

[mdl]

The three stories from the OP are almost unbelievable.  If they really went down as told, I'd be livid, especially with the 3rd one.  I'd be finding every single managerial level person at that course that I could and yelling at them about the incredibly unprofessional behavior of their staff, and I wouldn't leave them alone until they promised, at a minimum, to reprimand the ranger and give me and my friends a free round.

[JoeC36]

I also see this sometimes. It seems to me that the older generation of golfers look down on the younger generations because of situations like the one outlined in Turtlebacks thread about "Not worrying about etiquette today." Not everyone is like that, but i seem to notice guilt by association somewhat. What the older generation needs to realize that in golf, just like the real world, the younger generation is the future. And i believe that if the treatment like this keeps up younger kids are going to be turned away from the game.

[adamgoodman]

I love getting judged for being 17-years-old, and an intimidating 5'3" and 130 pounds...

It usually comes right before I take their money.