Country Club culture

[imsys0042]

You are starting to sound like a Judge Smails!   [URL=http://thesandtrap.com/content/type/61/id/105828/] [/URL] ...gambling is illegal at Bushwood!!

LOL! I suppose I should use my foot wedge more then....

[imsys0042]

You are starting to sound like a Judge Smails!   [URL=http://thesandtrap.com/content/type/61/id/105828/] [/URL] ...gambling is illegal at Bushwood!!

Actually, this for some reason hit me so funny I feel better about a horrible, horrible day. So thanks, And I have that shirt, so that's weird. Here's my thing. I have experience with two private clubs. One where I worked, and believe me if you were a member and acted like an a$$, we were going to talk about it and give you a hard time somehow. And that didn't happen much. And where I am now, where some of the funny (and true) stuff I've posted are not outliers. Things like that happen quite a bit. So the question is. Despite there will always be jerks everywhere (I get that). Is the way I feel like walking into a nightclub and complaining about the noise? Or is this just a place with a bad culture and I can do better?

[BuckeyeNut]

Actually, this for some reason hit me so funny I feel better about a horrible, horrible day. So thanks, And I have that shirt, so that's weird.

You are very welcome!  I am glad you took my post the way it was intended!!    Ya' gotta' love Judge Smails!  He dearly loves his beloved Bushwood CC, but the members & guests...........NOT SO MUCH!! .  LOL

Hey Whitey...lets go......while we are YOUNG!!

Hahaha...this never gets old!!

[imsys0042]

They used to show Caddyshack at least once per month on WPIX in NY when I was growing up. For years I never knew that anything else was said that "let's all take a shower" which was dubbed over Rodney Dangerfield's line at the end of the match. Best line in the whole movie was Chevy Chase telling Smails that his father hated Smails. At least for me.

[iHack]

Are you sure you not being too picky or dare I say whining? You think people are talking about you You seem to think the members are mean You don't like the kids in the pool You don't like the lifeguards You don't like the food You don't like the members that play in tournaments You don't like the management You don't like groups that play on holidays or Sundays. Are you sure you're not expecting too much?

[quote name="imsys0042" url="/t/77158/country-club-culture#post_1054563"] I would lose the initiation fee. However I get a credit at another affiliated club for an initiation fee. I got in when they were hurting so it's a lot lower than it normally would be. I have an issue where most courses around here won't take time as a single and my work schedule gives me flexibility to do once per week I'm the morning. I would lose that ability if I left. My plan B is a place that is a little further drive for about the same money, but less amenities for the family. Although I don't think she cares much. We've had to pull our three year old girls out of the pool there because other kids are too rough, or hit them by throwing balls, and the pool manager and lifeguards don't do anything. The food also has declined so we don't eat there anymore. Funny random story from 2 weeks ago. I pull up to the driving range and some guy is yelling. Thinking he was calling over to someone I didn't notice until I heard "you jog here all the time! I hope you get hit by a car'". He was yelling at a jogger running down the street. It's a public street. Weird people.[/quote] As Colin cowherd would say, "this is a you problem". Really maybe you need to lighten up, do your kids play sports and not keep score? Just saying..lol

[Strandly]

I'd take my money elsewhere.

[Flav]

I belong to a semi-private club. It used to be private with waiting list etc but economic times changed that. The staff is great and they tend to know you by name which is a nice touch. The membership is welcoming however like every club it has its I'm to good for anyone else members. They definitely are the minority though. Fees are great and course is challenging and well maintained. The one good thing is I have about 6 courses within a 20 minute drive so they have to compete for members which helps keep the attitudes in check.

[ghalfaire]

I'd take my money elsewhere.

Yes.  You don't have to justify how you spend your $, if you are not enjoying the experience then go elsewhere.

[imsys0042]

Thanks everyone for the responses.   Talked it over with my wife and we both feel that anything negative that happens there is going to set me/us off, so we are going to see what the places says after we submitted our comments, talk to a couple people that we've met and decide where to go with this over the next few weeks.

While I probably look back at where I caddied with rose colored glasses, I can see the shift in cultures between the two.  And if there is a next time, spend more time investigating the potential club.   I heard on a show about buying a house that you should go meet your potential neighbors before-hand.  Probably a good idea to speak to more than 1 or 2 members about the place to get a better feel.

Thanks again!

-Adam

[newtogolf]

If you're not happy then you shouldn't reward them with your business in the future but be careful that you're not emphasizing the negatives more than they should be.

The club I belong to has been a pleasant experience but it's not perfect.  Every club has;

• the member(s) that gets stupid drunk and creates a scene
• the member(s)  that thinks they are superior to everyone else and has no memory when they weren't a single digit handicap
• the member(s)  who loses their temper, shouts expletives and throws or slams their clubs
• the member(s)  who has to make comments (loud enough for others to hear) about everything others do that annoy them
• clicks that try to get the prime tee times

I have never witnessed a guy drive his cart over tee boxes (automatic expulsion at my club) but the other things you mentioned are not uncommon from my own experiences and conversations I've had with other golfers from other clubs.   One thing I like about my club is we're all empowered and encouraged to file grievances against other members that violate the rules in any area of the club.  I've actually seen members of a 4-some file a grievance against once of their own players because they violated the rules.  These guys were all friends but the rules are important to making sure the club is enjoyable for everyone and they are taken seriously.

It sounds like you got on the outs with the main players in your club and that you feel like an outsider.  At a 10.2 maybe you should participate more in the club tournaments and outings so you can get to know them better before giving up on it and forfeiting your initiation fee?

[imsys0042]

If you're not happy then you shouldn't reward them with your business in the future but be careful that you're not emphasizing the negatives more than they should be.

The club I belong to has been a pleasant experience but it's not perfect.  Every club has;

the member(s) that gets stupid drunk and creates a scene

the member(s)  that thinks they are superior to everyone else and has no memory when they weren't a single digit handicap

the member(s)  who loses their temper, shouts expletives and throws or slams their clubs

the member(s)  who has to make comments (loud enough for others to hear) about everything others do that annoy them

clicks that try to get the prime tee times

I have never witnessed a guy drive his cart over tee boxes (automatic expulsion at my club) but the other things you mentioned are not uncommon from my own experiences and conversations I've had with other golfers from other clubs.   One thing I like about my club is we're all empowered and encouraged to file grievances against other members that violate the rules in any area of the club.  I've actually seen members of a 4-some file a grievance against once of their own players because they violated the rules.  These guys were all friends but the rules are important to making sure the club is enjoyable for everyone and they are taken seriously.

It sounds like you got on the outs with the main players in your club and that you feel like an outsider.  At a 10.2 maybe you should participate more in the club tournaments and outings so you can get to know them better before giving up on it and forfeiting your initiation fee?

I'd like the ability to report someone who breaks the rules, but we don't have that.   For people who throw tantrums or have a bad attitude, I don't think that's the appropriate place.   People will avoid people who are a pain.    I'm talking about people who abuse the place or really cause a disruption.  The main reason I made a big complaint now was precisely because rules were being broken and it affected my kids (at the pool in this situation).   I took it up with the staff on-duty and they told me "It's the end of the year so we aren't really enforcing the rules"  and then when one of my daughters almost got hurt I addressed it directly with someone.   That person decided to cause a scene and yell at my wife and I.   I never raised my voice, was sarcastic or was accusatory.

I specifically wanted to know, from the club, why rules weren't being enforced and whether or not something like what happened was reportable.   Where I caddied as a kid, people got letters for being disruptive like that.   my club has no policy unless it's considered excessive.   And to be honest, this was not excessive.   Overblown and rude, but not what most people would consider excessive.

I do feel like an outsider, although I wouldn't say I'm on the outs with people over anything that happened.   Like a couple of people I've talked to, there are people (like you mention) who won't play with higher handicaps and I probably got branded like that at some point early in my tenure.   I've played in several things this year with differing level of success at meeting people.   Probably not as hard as I could, but more than nothing.   I wonder if I found a regular group if I'd find my niche.  Hasn't happened yet.   Like I posted earlier today, we're going to give it more thought and see what the management above our local people have to say.

I had a blast with a the husband of one of my wife's friends in our member/member tournament this year.   Guess I should post a good story about the place too....   It was a shotgun start and we had to start on a brutal par 3.   No place to bail out, 185 to the center and can easily be a 6 if you knock it in the weeds because the drop area is slanted so it's always a couple inches below your feet with trouble front and back.   Intimidating right?   So all four of us are nervous.   One of the guys on the team hit first. Topped it right into the hazard 30 feet in front of him.   Dead silence for a few seconds...then he says really funny "Do you think it'll roll out?".   We all laughed and it broke the nervous-ness.

[newtogolf]

I'd like the ability to report someone who breaks the rules, but we don't have that.   For people who throw tantrums or have a bad attitude, I don't think that's the appropriate place.   People will avoid people who are a pain.    I'm talking about people who abuse the place or really cause a disruption.  The main reason I made a big complaint now was precisely because rules were being broken and it affected my kids (at the pool in this situation).   I took it up with the staff on-duty and they told me "It's the end of the year so we aren't really enforcing the rules"  and then when one of my daughters almost got hurt I addressed it directly with someone.   That person decided to cause a scene and yell at my wife and I.   I never raised my voice, was sarcastic or was accusatory.

I specifically wanted to know, from the club, why rules weren't being enforced and whether or not something like what happened was reportable.   Where I caddied as a kid, people got letters for being disruptive like that.   my club has no policy unless it's considered excessive.   And to be honest, this was not excessive.   Overblown and rude, but not what most people would consider excessive.

I do feel like an outsider, although I wouldn't say I'm on the outs with people over anything that happened.   Like a couple of people I've talked to, there are people (like you mention) who won't play with higher handicaps and I probably got branded like that at some point early in my tenure.   I've played in several things this year with differing level of success at meeting people.   Probably not as hard as I could, but more than nothing.   I wonder if I found a regular group if I'd find my niche.  Hasn't happened yet.   Like I posted earlier today, we're going to give it more thought and see what the management above our local people have to say.

I had a blast with a the husband of one of my wife's friends in our member/member tournament this year.   Guess I should post a good story about the place too....   It was a shotgun start and we had to start on a brutal par 3.   No place to bail out, 185 to the center and can easily be a 6 if you knock it in the weeds because the drop area is slanted so it's always a couple inches below your feet with trouble front and back.   Intimidating right?   So all four of us are nervous.   One of the guys on the team hit first. Topped it right into the hazard 30 feet in front of him.   Dead silence for a few seconds...then he says really funny "Do you think it'll roll out?".   We all laughed and it broke the nervous-ness.

That's good at least it hasn't been all bad.  I'd suggest you give it another year and see how things go now that you've made your concerns known to the management and identified some things you could do that might improve your experience.

[imsys0042]

That's good at least it hasn't been all bad.  I'd suggest you give it another year and see how things go now that you've made your concerns known to the management and identified some things you could do that might improve your experience.

I forgot to add above that yes, I do understand that it's easy to let the negatives rack up.   To get to this point it's been a number of things, and I might just clash with that culture.   I do try and not let things bother me.   One of the people who almost hit me with a club was my neighbor and we still get along...

Thanks for the advice.  Appreciated.

[Flav]

That's one thing I like about mine is they have a "welcome" committee that sets up potential members with members to play a round or two. You get to enjoy the place for a day or two to see if it's right for you.

[iacas]

Like I posted earlier today, we're going to give it more thought and see what the management above our local people have to say.

The corporate office people are not going to be there, at the club, to enforce the rules. I get the feeling that once you've gone above someone's head like that, unless that head is replaced (either literally or by a MAJOR change in attitude/approach), you're spent. You're done there. You'll be "that guy who went above our heads" for a long time.

Just a gut feeling. Obviously basing that on what little you've shared here, which is not saying anything other than that we can't get even 5% of the picture from a few words typed on a forum. You've lived it, so you know the true weight, size, depth, shape, color, etc. of everything.

[imsys0042]

The corporate office people are not going to be there, at the club, to enforce the rules. I get the feeling that once you've gone above someone's head like that, unless that head is replaced (either literally or by a MAJOR change in attitude/approach), you're spent. You're done there. You'll be "that guy who went above our heads" for a long time.

Just a gut feeling. Obviously basing that on what little you've shared here, which is not saying anything other than that we can't get even 5% of the picture from a few words typed on a forum. You've lived it, so you know the true weight, size, depth, shape, color, etc. of everything.

I suppose as long as they don't start urinating in my locker it can't be worse than flat out ignoring me now.   If someone tells them to enforce xyz rules and they hate me, but it makes it better for me and my family then it's worth it.   They are in the hospitality business, so you'd have to be pretty bad to take a mean route.   Whether I get what I want, or not, I have been respectful.   And I'm sure they are respectful to people they don't like.   There are plenty around.

If they urinated in the food, it might possibly be better.   There is a running joke with a number of people about how the food gives people the runs.   At the afore-mentioned member/member tourney, someone hit a low liner and his partner yelled "run".   The guy said "took care of that last night.   food here gives me the ****s when I have to eat here."   and then had us laughing with the follow-ups.

[iacas]

They are in the hospitality business, so you'd have to be pretty bad to take a mean route.

So are waitresses… yet I'm pretty careful not to tick them off before I've gotten my food. :)

Sounds like you should just find a new place to play. Life's too short to be unhappy when you can make different choices.

[imsys0042]

So are waitresses… yet I'm pretty careful not to tick them off before I've gotten my food. :)

Sounds like you should just find a new place to play. Life's too short to be unhappy when you can make different choices.

True enough.   I do have a plan B worked out.   Our town pool is huge and very nice.   We never went since we've been members since the kids were born and we got the club pool for free as part of the membership.   We already don't eat there, at least for now.   The replacement golf place would be a little less for the dues, but would not have the tournaments or social aspect.   It's a very nice public course, but I could book before the general public.  Bonus is no cart fees.