What does golf do for you?

I took up golf this last year and its on my mind all the time. I live in Michigan so i haven't played since mid November (freezing my butt off).

I love the game, and although im not amazing at it.. yet i think it gave something to me i cant really explain. When i am on that course nothing comes into my mind other than golf. Which is a relief in my current life.

I am 25 years old and married I have a 16month old boy and another child on the way (wife forgot the birth control haha). I graduated HS in 2003 and went straight to work in construction under my father full time doing finish carpentry. I made very good money for my age and in 2006 I was basically running the company. I had a house, 2 vehicles and a pretty good life.

Then my life changed My wife and I decided to try and have a child. She got pregnant but lost it in a miscarriage soon after. She was crushed and was depressed and determined to get pregnant again as soon as possible. Soon after the miscarriage work took a big hit. We had signed a contract for a 500 home subdivision in Okemos (pretty popular city in Michigan near Lansing) after finishing around 10 homes the company killed the contract and i believe filed bankruptcy soon after. This killed my income.

the months followed got even worse. My wife was hellbent on bringing a child into this world, and after she got pregnant again we found out she had a Atopic pregnancy (where the egg gets stuck in the Tube i believe) So she had to go through surgery and remove it thus losing the baby.We now had to wait a year to try and have a child again. My wife was now crushed and depressed again and I was struggling to find work.

Once I did finally find some job site to work on we were getting screwed left and right. The only work that was going on was Custom homes usually 10,000 sqft which was awesome because there was a couple months of work there. Well eventually the guy kept holding money and we got screwed out of 10,000 dollars. My life started falling apart... at 24 I had to file bankruptcy and I pretty much lost everything. This now took a toll on me I wanted to seriously just die. I couldn't handle my life as it felt like it was spiraling under control. I think i sat in a depressed state doing nothing for a close to a year.

in the coming months my wife became pregnant (which wasn't the best time to bring a child into this world but the depression she felt when thinking of not being able to be a mother really hurt her) and thankfully everything was ok minus the delivery where they were both having problems.

Her uterus wouldn't contract so she kept bleeding, and my son was having problems from pooping before delivery so crap was in his lungs. I thought the world was ending. I was trying to stay calm because my wife kept asking "Is this normal? ... is this normal?
The doctor was just punching her stomach basically to contract her uterus.
This was probably the scariest moment in my life.

Thankfully everything turned out fine. I had a beautiful son that seemed to breath new life into me as i think it does with every parent.

Well now im trying to think of what to do...after applying to tons of jobs and not having any luck in this hell hole of a state I decided to go to school for nursing. My wife and I live with her parents along with her sister and her son.
needless to say the house is cramped and very loud with 2 young ones running around.

If all goes well I will be done with my Prerequisites and apply to the Nursing program. Which I am now learning that i will most likely have to wait to get in which could be a year or even more since so many people are applying to it.

As it is now I cannot get a job, not because i cant get hired but i don't have the time. I am a stay at home father who has to schedule his schooling around other peoples schedules so I have someone to watch my son. I am literally up till 3am at least 5 days of the weak for that i can usually start studying at 10pm after my son goes to bed. Usually to wake up at 8:30 with my son.

This has taken a toll on my body. Sometimes it seems when i finally do get into bed that i stare at the ceiling all night.

My wife works a full time job as a claims rep making 14/hr which makes things very tight.

So needless to say life has been hectic, and depressing through the past few years, Not to mention we have had many glimmers of hope that could of changed our lives substantially but fell through. The worse being a promotion where they told my wife she got the job only for them to come back and say the higher up people said they couldn't hire her because she did not have a bachelors degree. This was depressing because the pay raise would of allowed us to get our own place and live a lot more comfortably.


I believe it was last May my father asked me if I wanted to go golfing. I said sure and something happened where i was just addicted.

I was lucky enough to do some work for my mother in exchange for a golf membership at a place that offers 2 courses per membership.

I took some of my loan money and bought some nice clubs which you can see in my signature.

As it being winter in Michigan it is quite depressing not to be able to play but i bought a net and mat to practice in the garage =).

I told my wife I have at least 2 years to become a PGA professional or a Nurse ha ha.

I have always been naturally good at sports, which i think is why i love golf because i am not naturally good at it. I love that essentially the only factor that can play against you is really mother nature, other than that its you vs yourself.

Golf has allowed me an outlet to clear my head of the 100's of things racing through it at any given time.

I am just wondering are there any stories like mine where golf has changed you or helped you get through situations in life.

Re: What does golf do for you?

Very valid questions, and I think I got a little overboard with my post as it was not meant to be a big story but rather a question. I just read over it again and it seems like i made a Venting post.

Declaring bankruptcy was the hardest thing for me to do as I am a prideful person, but i had no choice. and for not having time to find a job I really dont. Last summer i dropped one of my 6 week online classes due to it being pretty hard online. So this gave me 6 weeks free which I loved. This gave me a lot of golf time to play as my father and my father in law was laid off we took up golf together.

Now I still do side jobs here and there on weekends when I can get away long enough to do some work usually found by my brother in law and other miscellaneous ways posting ads and such on craigslist and all that.

The Loan was a student loan. I am fortunate enough to get school pretty much paid for. So trying to be money smart I don't use all of the loans that are available to me.
I did splurge on the set of golf clubs though they are not all new. Thank god for ebay.


The membership came from work done for my mother. I put her roof on her house and spent 2weeks doing it altogether which is a hell of a long time for a roof ( professional roofers could of done in 2days with a full crew), but it was only my father and I working on it both have only limited experience roofing though I wouldn't call it hard by any means.
As for cash vs the membership it was discussed between my wife and I to just ask for a golf membership and a club fitting which is not expensive and doesnt even come close to what would be owed but my wife and I have helped out with my in laws in the past so we deemed it only fair.

As for priorities i don't know what you mean. I believe i have them in order. I am in school and it is really hard in their medical program. I feel that I am a great father. My greatest joy with my son is just lying next to him while he sleeps and just looking at him

I hate to sound dramatic but if I did not have my son in my life I would of probably given up on my life and disappeared.

I do wish I had not read your post as you have put into question how much time with i have this coming spring and summer. Which if i'm correct not much! but hey 9 holes a couple times a week ( i sure hope) is better then nothing.

Re: What does golf do for you?

Congrats on your daughter. I am hoping for a daughter this time around =)

Re: What does golf do for you?

That would be so awesome. I remember in high school we finally had a golf team a year in or something like that and i remember I was one of those people who knocked sports like golf down. Man do I wish i would of joined up and played.

Good luck I hope you do get a scholarship.