Horrible things you've seen on the golf course

[yenner]

Man, you guys have had it rough.

We had sprinklers come on while we were playing a round in the rain. That's about it.

[passintime]

When my wife was learning to play, my cousins girlfriend was giving her a swing tip. During the backswing my wifes club hit her on the side of the face. Scary at first, then we laughed it off. Some of you guys have seen some crazy stuff!

[tristanhilton85]

I was playing at a muni course (Leo J Martin in Weston, MA) and I was complaining to this random guy who happened to join me on the 10th hole, a short par 3 with some marsh-land short. I was telling him how I was pissed that I had goose poop on my spikes, and the green was covered with feathers. Plus, as we were walking to the green there were geese hissing at us. He goes "It's cool, I'll take care of it." Then whips out his 9 iron and proceeds to literally slay a goose. Chopped the head clean off, and the thing kept walking for a few seconds before it dropped dead. I was this close to vomiting, but i just decided to walk back to the ninth hole and let a few groups play through me so I didn't have to see that guy again. That 10th hole still creeps me out, but on the plus side I haven't seen geese there since.

This had me laughing so hard!!!! It also reminded me of a somewhat similar story... unfortunately I didn't get to see it but a buddy of mine told me about it. Apparently he was golfing as a single and got paired up with a 55ish yr old man and his 20 yr old son who was celebrating his birthday while on leave from the army. So I guess they're just playing a causal round and drinking and especially the kid is getting pretty hammered. So the kid I guess blows his drive way left and everybody moves up to hit their balls. After hitting his, my buddy starts to wonder where the hell this kid went to and they finally see him on the ground punching the hell out of this snake. After he finished hitting it he picks the damn thing up and starts smacking it into the ground as his dad and my buddy just stand their watching.

I think the goose slayer story still has this beat, but thought this was funny and wanted to share.

[Kieran123]

I played a course in West Africa and was going to hire a caddy, the caddy turned to be a good player and the course was empty, so I asked the pro if I could just have the caddy play with me, and he agreed. We were having a great time and sipping a couple of beers. We got to the 11th hole and he had to "take care of business" in the bushes. He wasnt in there 3 seconds before he came running back out saying that there was a dead guy in there. I walked over.......and sure enough, there was a body lying there all sliced up. Not cool........ round ended.

I would get the •••• out of there ASAP....that is messed up....a dead person, bad enough...a sliced up dead person? Well...

[SpoiledRotten]

I can't match the guy dying on the last hole, but one thing that really gets me is the guy in some of the groups, probably drinking a little too much beer, standing by the shrubbery, draining the lizard if you know what I mean. There are relief stations about every 6 holes or so. I think they could hold it that long. There are women and children out there, for Pete's sake. What ever happened to common decency and a little modesty?

And before some say... "oh well, I do that all the time", I hope you aren't bragging about your uncouth behavior.

[double_j]

I can't match the guy dying on the last hole, but one thing that really gets me is the guy in some of the groups, probably drinking a little too much beer, standing by the shrubbery, draining the lizard if you know what I mean. There are relief stations about every 6 holes or so. I think they could hold it that long. There are women and children out there, for Pete's sake. What ever happened to common decency and a little modesty?

Relieving ourselves in the bushes is one of rights that make us men. Uncouth or not, I'm doing it (but I will have the decency to make sure I'm adequately shielded from view by foilage).

BTW - the women wish they could do it and the children will join in when they have to.

[kafka01]

I can't match the guy dying on the last hole, but one thing that really gets me is the guy in some of the groups, probably drinking a little too much beer, standing by the shrubbery, draining the lizard if you know what I mean. There are relief stations about every 6 holes or so. I think they could hold it that long. There are women and children out there, for Pete's sake. What ever happened to common decency and a little modesty? And before some say... "oh well, I do that all the time", I hope you aren't bragging about your uncouth behavior.

LOL - nice one. What do you do when you see a deer taking a crap in the bushes, trying to sue that poor thing for public indecency?

[jamo]

I played a course in West Africa and was going to hire a caddy, the caddy turned to be a good player and the course was empty, so I asked the pro if I could just have the caddy play with me, and he agreed. We were having a great time and sipping a couple of beers. We got to the 11th hole and he had to "take care of business" in the bushes. He wasnt in there 3 seconds before he came running back out saying that there was a dead guy in there. I walked over.......and sure enough, there was a body lying there all sliced up. Not cool........ round ended.

I feel really bad saying this, but that's a great opening for Law and Order.

[yenner]

I can't match the guy dying on the last hole, but one thing that really gets me is the guy in some of the groups, probably drinking a little too much beer, standing by the shrubbery, draining the lizard if you know what I mean. There are relief stations about every 6 holes or so. I think they could hold it that long. There are women and children out there, for Pete's sake. What ever happened to common decency and a little modesty?

Peeing in the bushes is better than crapping in the cup.

[BostonSully]

I saw a beverage cart girl with a little cellulite on her thighs once.

GROSS EWW I Just puked in my mouth Winner!

[Carts]

See? Everybody's making jokes and then somebody goes too far. That, sir, is disgusting.

wow, when I first read the post I read "domestic

Bear "... Ya im dislexic

[Stretch]

Peeing in the bushes is better than crapping in the cup.

Words to live by.

I walked in on a bartender banging a member's wife in the locker room at a club I belonged to a few years ago. More of an off-course incident though, I guess.

[HDon]

Fairway at a muni. The green stuff is crabgrass.

[yenner]

Words to live by.

Pics or it didn't happen. :P

[Valleygolfer]

I can't match the guy dying on the last hole, but one thing that really gets me is the guy in some of the groups, probably drinking a little too much beer, standing by the shrubbery, draining the lizard if you know what I mean. There are relief stations about every 6 holes or so. I think they could hold it that long. There are women and children out there, for Pete's sake. What ever happened to common decency and a little modesty?

I thought the relief stations were for women......worst thing I have seen on the golf course? My golf game....badadum....somebody had to say it....

[Harmonious]

Remember the opening of a CSI episode where Rocco Mediate (I think) was playing in the LV tournament. Hooks it into the woods and, you guessed it, dead body. I can't remember exactly, but I think he asked for a ruling.

[passintime]

Fairway at a muni. The green stuff is crabgrass.

Yuck.

Sent from my HTC EVO using tapatalk.

[jetsknicks1]

Playing behind a husband & wife who have their little girl with them. Thw whole round their letting this girl run all over the course, into the bunkers, back up the middle of the fairway while we're waiting to hit, the kids just running wild. Parents are on the green, not paying attention of course, when the girl jumps in the cart, nails the gas and crashes dead center into a big tree. Girl slams into the windshield, parents go berzerk and leave.............. Later in the clubhouse, heard that the parents were screaming about suing because the parking brake did not work properly. (Hand slap to forehead)