Friends who refuse to admit they are wrong on the golf course

[chriskzoo]

So my buddy and I are pretty competitive and always have an unspoken "grudge" match everytime we play to see who can shoot the better score. I'm generally the better player (he's a 10 I'm an 8), but he absolutely relishes when he beats me - to the point that he saves scorecards. So then we had this situation last weekend:

We tee off knowing that we'll be finishing up around dark and I start off terribly - 8 over on the first 4 holes (triple, double, double, bogey) and I know he has a good lead on me. I buckle down and play better to make up 6 strokes on the rest of the front nine. Well, on the 9th hole, a long par 5, my buddy hits his layup over the top of our cart left of the fairway near a dried up wetlands area. We didn't think the ball was in there, but he never found the ball and after I make my par he says "mark me down for a 6, I'm not counting that lost ball, we all saw it go over there."

So we're all tied going into 18 and it is getting DARK. I stripe my drive while he is in the bunker. He chips out, lays up short of the green and ends up getting down in 2 for a 6. It's getting real dark and I hit my 3-wood and have no idea where it goes. I thought I hit it a bit right, but it being as dark as it was I had no chance of seeing it come down. He tells me he thinks it was going toward this pine tree, but long story short I couldn't find it. I end up dropping, taking my penalty stroke and end up with 7.

We add up the scores and he "wins" by one and I make a snide comment like like "Well, I guess if you don't want to count that lost ball on #9."

We let it go there and I just talk to him and he tried to bring up how he beat me the last 3 times we played, to which I say "Actually we tied the round before last and I suppose you're actually 2-0-1 if you don't want to count that penalty stroke" which I can tell just pisses him off and he goes on about "Yeah, and you could have given me that 1-foot putt (he missed) since I gave you that 2 1/2 footer." To which I simply say "I never knew conceding putts was required by the rules, whereas a lost ball is a 1-stroke penalty."

Seriously, WTF is with some people?

[jetsknicks1]

There will always be people who want to win at all costs, to the point of cheating to achieve it.

[Koth]

It seems like it's both of you that are the problem. If you want to have grudge matches you have to play by the rules or things like this are going to come up. Don't take a conceded putt if you aren't going to give one in a similar situation.

[chilly]

I think you should have held him to the lost ball instead of letting it slide, then there wouldn't be any controversy.

[iacas]

It seems like it's both of you that are the problem. If you want to have grudge matches you have to play by the rules or things like this are going to come up. Don't take a conceded putt if you aren't going to give one in a similar situation.

Additionally, since it's stroke play, don't give or take conceded putts ever...

[alo1984]

My recommendation is to not make such a big deal out of it. It doesn't sound like there was anything on the line other than pride, so just let it go. That is, unless it's worth it to you to possibly ruin a friendship over.

Also, if you are going to play such a highly competitive round then I'd suggest doing so strictly by the rules. Get yourself a USGA rules book and declare that if there is a rules question that you're going to the book for the answer. If you just make up rules to play by on the fly then you will always have controversy. Just sayin.

[sean_miller]

Friends don't let friends drive into the "wetlands" unpenalized.

[chrisronline]

My friend and I play against each other often, but we don't really take it seriously. If he hits a great chip shot to within 3 feet, I'll give it to him (even though I know he chokes on short putts). If his ball is plugged or in a divot, I'll allow him to move it without a penalty.

Since we're both getting better, I think we'll start playing by the rules and not giving any putts at all. I think it's just important for both people to agree to how the round will be treated in terms of rules and it's only an issue when people disagree (your case). I'd suggest establishing which rules are going to be strictly enforced beforehand so there is feeling of guilt when you call each other out.

[Ignorant]

If you want to take it seriously, then you'll have to take it seriously. However, there is always an option to take it as a friendly game and just laugh about it. If the other guy gets his kicks out of beating a lower handicap even by cheating a bit then let him enjoy his victory. What the hell, it's just a game

[BostonSully]

LoL

I love catching cheaters esp. your friends who get embarassed when you call them out.

E.G:
Person 1) Taps in his ball, and under his breath goes "ugh 7" within earshot of Person 3.
Person 2) Is keeping score and on the next hole Tee Box "What did everyone get?"
Person 3) "Six."
Person 1) "Six."
Person 3) "Wtf are you talking about I just heard you say 7?"
Person 1) Turns red "Yeah umm i meant 7"
Person 2&3) ROFL

But its pretty annoying when you watch them count there shots in there head or worse DENY what they just said then you just have to not acknowledge anything they ever brag about golfwise and eventually they'll learn nobody cares about the "Feats of Ability" That they claim to have, because everyone knows they cheat.

[nearwater]

A round of golf can get very competitive even between friends, and while most of the time it turns out to be fun, some times things get ugly. Like your case.
IMHO, it's just a game and it's supposed to be entertaining and enjoyable, not overly competitive.
I think we all know that, but that doesn't stop it from happening, does it?

I knew a guy who was like that, and even when I know he got a triple bogey, he says 'double'. lol.
Whatever. It's his game, not mine.

Dan

[newtogolf]

It doesn't really matter if it's between friends and no money is involved. At my skill level I'm only worried about improving my score. It doesn't matter to me if my friends decide to cheat on their scorecard, ultimately they are cheating themselves.

For the OP, I can see why he's frustrated, since not only did the friend cheat, but he then proceeded to rub in his "victory". I'd say either find another golf buddy or just accept this is a shortcoming of his and dont' take it to heart.

[Fourputt]

To the OP: You either play by the rules or you don't. If you don't, then you haven't got a leg to stand on in this argument. You're playing stroke play and you just admitted that you didn't hole out on at least one hole, so you don't have a score for that hole, and you are disqualified from any competition.

The only way you could concede strokes to each other is if you were playing match play. In that case any stroke conceded ends the hole for the receiving player... he can't refuse the concession, nor can it be retracted.

Even when you are only competing for bragging rights, you still need a yardstick to measure your performance by, and that yardstick has to be the same for both players. In this case that is the Rules of Golf. If you are playing by the whim of the moment rather than by the rule book, then you set yourself up for endless debates about what's fair and what counts and what doesn't count, but neither one of you will have a valid argument because your game had no foundation in the first place.

[Shorty]

Seriously, WTF is with some people?

I know - it's amazing. They claim to play off 8 but make up their own rules as they go along, thinking that they can concede putts and modify penalties to construct a "score".

[alo1984]

I know - it's amazing. They claim to play off 8 but make up their own rules as they go along, thinking that they can concede putts and modify penalties to construct a "score".

^this.......

[TourSpoon]

The next time you make a big score say something like, "I hit my drive and couldn't find my second shot so I had to drop closest to the point of where I hit the last shot for a stroke and distance penalty (lost ball) and then was hitting four and put it on the green then hit my putt to one foot and missed so its a seven, no way around it." He will get the point.

[Borf]

Haha he doesn't play by the rules, that simple.

baaaaaam