The Best (worst) Spelling and Grammar Errors Thread

[Ernest Jones]

I did not ****ing play blades, but now I do.

or

I ****ing did not play ****ing blades, but now I sure as **** do and my handicap has been ****ed ever since.

[bplewis24]

You are not correct because you can't still replace "use to" with "f**king" and make it grammatically correct.

Cannot argue with you there, although back in my younger days I use two.

[Ernest Jones]

ive noticed on this blog there are a lot I mean tons of people worrying way too much. you can work on technical aspects of course, but overloading on this info doesn't do much for the game. when youre on the course, you should forget the swing, hit the ball, get it in the hole in the fewest strokes, and worry about the swing on the RANGE. make your range swing automatic. make it natural. then you can stop worrying when you get out on the course. the main goal of playing golf is to get a ball into a hole in the fewest strokes possible. instead of focusing on whats not important (the swing) focus on the main objective (getting the ball into the hole in fewest strokes). if you do this consistently you will improve over time. there are no quick fixes for golf. and worrying about a million different things about the swing (trust me, I know theres too much info about it, mark crossfield makes everything complicated) instead, you should worry about getting the ball into the hole on the course. if you can practice on the course instead of the range, your game will improve. the range isn't the course, so logically you cant improve your game there. once again, sorry to repeat myself so often but the main objective in golf is to get the ball into the hole in the fewest strokes possible!!! it is that simple. try it for a few rounds and see what it does for you. I don't want arguments, so if youre going to disagree, no insults, no nasty comments, and no arguing. if you want to disagree, do so maturely. (by the way my 180 yard wedge was real. tiger woods did it back near 2000 in bridgestone swinging all out. so why couldn't I have done it?)

I gave up trying to read this wall'o'text after about two sentences. I wonder what it's about...

[bplewis24]

I gave up trying to read this wall'o'text after about two sentences. I wonder what it's about...

It is clearly about the primary objective!  Didn't you get the word?  We must execute the primary objective!

[Web Junky]

Hi,

I'm a long time lurker at the Sandtrap and I have plenty of online fora, etc. on my plate already, but this awesome thread broke down all my resistance to register here and post. Mere golf content alone couldn't do it for the longest time, as sometimes I seem to hate golf as much as I love it, if you know what I mean!

cya!

[boogielicious]

@Web Junky Welcome and enjoy the madness.  Spelling counts.

[bplewis24]

Hi,

I'm a long time lurker at the Sandtrap and I have plenty of online fora, etc. on my plate already, but this awesome thread broke down all my resistance to register here and post. Mere golf content alone couldn't do it for the longest time, as sometimes I seem to hate golf as much as I love it, if you know what I mean!

cya!

Very cool.  Good to know some folks are interested in grammar/spelling/punctuation (and mistakes) as much as we are :-).

[Golfingdad]

Hey, I just realized that this story is not off-topic:

I have always been a pretty good speller, and when I was in 6th grade, I was tops in the class.  I aced every quiz, and, in fact, I did not miss a single word all year long.  We had a school-wide spelling bee, and I won it while, again, getting every word right.  We had a, let's call it "regional," spelling bee with the best in our school vs. the best in a neighboring school.  Again, 1st place, aced every word.  Next up was the City-wide spelling bee.  Now, we're talking the "big leagues."  Well, for a really shy kid from Fresno, at least.  I don't remember how many kids total, but for some reason 18 comes to mind.  For this one, we were all placed up on stage, facing an assembly room full of parents and teachers, side-by-side with those little cardboard partitions up so none of us could see any of the other kids.  We each had a slate-board and were all given the same words at the same time.  Just write it down, hold up your board, and find out your fate.  So it felt like every person there was staring directly at me ... and I froze.  Call me the Alex Rodriguez of spelling bees.  Everything all year leading up to that moment was confidence building ... I basically thought I'd win the thing, until that moment.  I don't remember anything about the word or words that I got correct, as there were not many of those.  All I remember are the ones I missed.  First up ... laboratory .  La-bor-a-tory!!!  What the hell is wrong with you?!?!?! (I actually don't remember how I spelled it, just that I got it wrong ... I'm guessing I stuck an "a" or "e" in place of the first "o" like a dumbass)  Very shortly thereafter ...

Moderator:  "You next word is 'him'"

My thoughts:  "Huh, who, wha??  Him??  Did he just say him??  I thought this was 6th grade, not 1st??? This doesn't sound right at all."

After that it gets a little hazy (it was almost 30 years ago, after all) but I basically remember knowing that "him" could not have been right, however, not being a church-goer, I don't know that I'd ever seen or heard the (correct) word "hymn" before, so that word never crossed my mind, rather than writing down nothing, I went with h-i-m and that was that.  I believe that I finished in 17th place.

And that was the beginning and end of my competitive spelling career.

TL:DR  Came in second to last place in the City spelling bee because I couldn't spell laboratory or hymn.

[jamo]

Hey, I just realized that this story is not off-topic: I have always been a pretty good speller, and when I was in 6th grade, I was tops in the class.  I aced every quiz, and, in fact, I did not miss a single word all year long.  We had a school-wide spelling bee, and I won it while, again, getting every word right.  We had a, let's call it "regional," spelling bee with the best in our school vs. the best in a neighboring school.  Again, 1st place, aced every word.  Next up was the City-wide spelling bee.  Now, we're talking the "big leagues."  Well, for a really shy kid from Fresno, at least.  I don't remember how many kids total, but for some reason 18 comes to mind.  For this one, we were all placed up on stage, facing an assembly room full of parents and teachers, side-by-side with those little cardboard partitions up so none of us could see any of the other kids.  We each had a slate-board and were all given the same words at the same time.  Just write it down, hold up your board, and find out your fate.  So it felt like every person there was staring directly at me ... and I froze.  Call me the Alex Rodriguez of spelling bees.  Everything all year leading up to that moment was confidence building ... I basically thought I'd win the thing, until that moment.  I don't remember anything about the word or words that I got correct, as there were not many of those.  All I remember are the ones I missed.  First up ... laboratory .  La-bor-a-tory!!!  What the hell is wrong with you?!?!?! :doh:   (I actually don't remember how I spelled it, just that I got it wrong ... I'm guessing I stuck an "a" or "e" in place of the first "o" like a dumbass)  Very shortly thereafter ... Moderator:  "You next word is 'him'" My thoughts:  "Huh, who, wha??  Him??  Did he just say him??  I thought this was 6th grade, not 1st??? This doesn't sound right at all." After that it gets a little hazy (it was almost 30 years ago, after all) but I basically remember knowing that "him" could not have been right, however, not being a church-goer, I don't know that I'd ever seen or heard the (correct) word "hymn" before, so that word never crossed my mind, rather than writing down nothing, I went with h-i-m and that was that.  I believe that I finished in 17th place. And that was the beginning and end of my competitive spelling career. [U] TL:DR  Came in second to last place in the City spelling bee because I couldn't spell laboratory or hymn. [/U]

My dad has a similar story. His final word was "biscuit," but he brainfarted and spelled it "bisquick" like the pancake/biscuit mix. As a consequence growing up we always had to make our pancakes from scratch.

[Golfingdad]

As a consequence growing up we always had to make our pancakes from scratch.

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALso, just to make myself feel really old ... how old is your dad??

[boogielicious]

Hey, I just realized that this story is not off-topic:

I have always been a pretty good speller, and when I was in 6th grade, I was tops in the class.  I aced every quiz, and, in fact, I did not miss a single word all year long.  We had a school-wide spelling bee, and I won it while, again, getting every word right.  We had a, let's call it "regional," spelling bee with the best in our school vs. the best in a neighboring school.  Again, 1st place, aced every word.  Next up was the City-wide spelling bee.  Now, we're talking the "big leagues."  Well, for a really shy kid from Fresno, at least.  I don't remember how many kids total, but for some reason 18 comes to mind.  For this one, we were all placed up on stage, facing an assembly room full of parents and teachers, side-by-side with those little cardboard partitions up so none of us could see any of the other kids.  We each had a slate-board and were all given the same words at the same time.  Just write it down, hold up your board, and find out your fate.  So it felt like every person there was staring directly at me ... and I froze.  Call me the Alex Rodriguez of spelling bees.  Everything all year leading up to that moment was confidence building ... I basically thought I'd win the thing, until that moment.  I don't remember anything about the word or words that I got correct, as there were not many of those.  All I remember are the ones I missed.  First up ... laboratory.  La-bor-a-tory!!!  What the hell is wrong with you?!?!?!   (I actually don't remember how I spelled it, just that I got it wrong ... I'm guessing I stuck an "a" or "e" in place of the first "o" like a dumbass)  Very shortly thereafter ...

Moderator:  "You next word is 'him'"

My thoughts:  "Huh, who, wha??  Him??  Did he just say him??  I thought this was 6th grade, not 1st??? This doesn't sound right at all."

After that it gets a little hazy (it was almost 30 years ago, after all) but I basically remember knowing that "him" could not have been right, however, not being a church-goer, I don't know that I'd ever seen or heard the (correct) word "hymn" before, so that word never crossed my mind, rather than writing down nothing, I went with h-i-m and that was that.  I believe that I finished in 17th place.

And that was the beginning and end of my competitive spelling career.

TL:DR  Came in second to last place in the City spelling bee because I couldn't spell laboratory or hymn.

Jethro Tull - Thick as a Brick

Now for a success story:

A young man I coached in soccer (great kid) came in 3rd in the National Geography Bee in D.C. with Alex Trebek as the host.  He missed the name of a river in Portugal and the name of some islands off Honduras, which I'm sure he will never forget.

When he got to the airport with his fake $10,000 check (big poster board), the folks at the ticket counter asked him what he'd won.  When Billy told them, they took the mic out and made a general announcement to the entire airport , National, that there was a "celebrity" there!  Everybody started clapping and came up to shake his hand, including a Senator.

Then US Air, upgraded his seat to First Class!  Not bad for an 8th grader!  It was great to hear that he got recognition for being smart.  We got to watch it on TV, which was cool.

[Fourputt]

Quote:

Originally Posted by xerex250

ive noticed on this blog there are a lot I mean tons of people worrying way too much. you can work on technical aspects of course, but overloading on this info doesn't do much for the game. when youre on the course, you should forget the swing, hit the ball, get it in the hole in the fewest strokes, and worry about the swing on the RANGE. make your range swing automatic. make it natural. then you can stop worrying when you get out on the course. the main goal of playing golf is to get a ball into a hole in the fewest strokes possible. instead of focusing on whats not important (the swing) focus on the main objective (getting the ball into the hole in fewest strokes). if you do this consistently you will improve over time. there are no quick fixes for golf. and worrying about a million different things about the swing (trust me, I know theres too much info about it, mark crossfield makes everything complicated) instead, you should worry about getting the ball into the hole on the course. if you can practice on the course instead of the range, your game will improve. the range isn't the course, so logically you cant improve your game there. once again, sorry to repeat myself so often but the main objective in golf is to get the ball into the hole in the fewest strokes possible!!! it is that simple. try it for a few rounds and see what it does for you. I don't want arguments, so if youre going to disagree, no insults, no nasty comments, and no arguing. if you want to disagree, do so maturely. (by the way my 180 yard wedge was real. tiger woods did it back near 2000 in bridgestone swinging all out. so why couldn't I have done it?)

I gave up trying to read this wall'o'text after about two sentences. I wonder what it's about...

I'm with you.  Impossible to stay with it.

[boogielicious]

I'm with you.  Impossible to stay with it.

Think of it as reading hieroglyphics.

[jamo]

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALso, just to make myself feel really old ... how old is your dad??

Guarantee that you have nothing to worry about there haha.

[Stretch]

I like the guy who keeps misspelling "iacas" as "jacas". Hee haw.

[Fourputt]

I like the guy who keeps misspelling "iacas" as "jacas". Hee haw.

He has also been called Isaac before too.

[Valleygolfer]

I like the guy who keeps misspelling "iacas" as "jacas". Hee haw.

Yea....misspells...

[Web Junky]

@Web Junky Welcome and enjoy the madness.  Spelling counts.

boogie, thanks! Yes, spelling does count!

Very cool.  Good to know some folks are interested in grammar/spelling/punctuation (and mistakes) as much as we are :-).

bp, thanks!

Now, time to go back and tackle a few more pages of this thread!