how to politely tell somebody they are BAD at golf?

[turtleback]

Originally Posted by MS256

It really doesn't matter if they can reach the group ahead with a 1 in 20 shot or a 1 in 1,000 shot...Don't hit the shot until you know you can't reach them with any percentage.

I don't care to make the speech that starts "I'm sorry I hit you in the head. I had no clue I could hit the ball that far."

Yup.  A much better speech is directed at your playing partners and goes, "I probably can't reach them but I am going to wait."

I don't think things like that really effect the overall duration of a round.  When the course is crowded a little extra wait here means a little less wait there.  The problem is that watching someone whose actions are inefficient and silly can cause irritation even if they aren't truly affecting the overall speed of the round.  Like the guy who leaves his chipping club on the far side of the green away from the carts and has to walk all the way over there, wasting time and taking longer than necessary to clear the green.  But then his group has to wait on the tee for the next group.  While he delayed your group's shot to the green he really didn't make the round take longer.  But it is irritating, nonetheless.  I almost have to just not watch the group ahead so that this kind of nonsense doesn't get to me,

[TJBam]

Originally Posted by SloverUT

No doubt.  I have heard that same speech twice now.  Once while playing as a single, and another time when I was with my 5 year old son (who was just along for the ride).  Both times all I heard was "I didn't know I could hit the ball that far."   I never hit the ball until the people in front of me are completely out of my range.  I'll risk the people behind me getting a bit upset instead of possibly beaming someone in the head with a golf ball moving 100+ M.P.H. any day.

I agree.  I have no problem waiting on someone to clear the a 230 yd green before I strike even a 210 yard club.

One time I hit a 3W layup off the tee box on a par 5 and carried the ball 240 and rolled out to about 260.  The group was about 270 away.  One of the guys came back in his cart to talk to me.  I basically showed him my 3W and told him I've never hit it that far, my 3W is usually about 200 carry and rolls out to maybe 220.  He understood, and we did not have an altercation, but I was very embarrassed and heard about it all day from my playing partners.  I was so razzled afterwards that on my next shot I put my ball into the drink (that I hit a 3W to avoid dealing with in the first place).

Needless to say I will now give myself about 30 or 40 yards leeway when hitting. If a group is standing 300 and I'm hitting driver, I will go ahead and hit provided the fairway is flat and there is no wind.  But if a group is 30 yards out of my average distance I will surely give them a minute to move on up.

[TJBam]

Originally Posted by turtleback

Yup.  A much better speech is directed at your playing partners and goes, "I probably can't reach them but I am going to wait."

I don't think things like that really effect the overall duration of a round.  When the course is crowded a little extra wait here means a little less wait there.  The problem is that watching someone whose actions are inefficient and silly can cause irritation even if they aren't truly affecting the overall speed of the round.  Like the guy who leaves his chipping club on the far side of the green away from the carts and has to walk all the way over there, wasting time and taking longer than necessary to clear the green.  But then his group has to wait on the tee for the next group.  While he delayed your group's shot to the green he really didn't make the round take longer.  But it is irritating, nonetheless.  I almost have to just not watch the group ahead so that this kind of nonsense doesn't get to me,

It is indeed much less embarrassing to appear overly optimistic than it is to explain to an angry (or worse- injured) golfer that I "didn't think I'd hit it that far."

[RoyJeeBiv]

Originally Posted by TJBam

I have no problem waiting on someone to clear the a 230 yd green before I strike even a 210 yard club.

absolutely agree.  and (someone will surely disagree with me, here) there's a big difference between a higher percentage shot like that ^^ and almost every amateur who waits on a 300+ yd shot.

i get the whole "i'd rather play it safe" bit, but c'mon... i have to wonder if players are contributing to the pace of play problem without even realizing it.

"i dunno, guys... we got a tailwind on a hot day, the fairways are like concrete, high tide and a full moon tonight, i think i read the planets are aligned... i better wait to hit."

fascinating.

[jetsknicks1]

It is indeed much less embarrassing to appear overly optimistic than it is to explain to an angry (or worse- injured) golfer that I "didn't think I'd hit it that far."

Yup. A few weeks ago I was 250 out on a par 5 and went ahead and hit my 2nd shot. Of course, I hit the 3W of my life and roll it right past the group ahead as they were just walking off the green. Needless to say, I jumped in the cart and hauled ass to apologize. I explained that shot was easily 30 yds further normal. They were very understanding but it was a scary reminder to wait if there's any doubt at all.

[clearwaterms]

Originally Posted by jetsknicks1

Yup. A few weeks ago I was 250 out on a par 5 and went ahead and hit my 2nd shot. Of course, I hit the 3W of my life and roll it right past the group ahead as they were just walking off the green. Needless to say, I jumped in the cart and hauled ass to apologize. I explained that shot was easily 30 yds further normal. They were very understanding but it was a scary reminder to wait if there's any doubt at all.

Those are the worst conversations to have.  You are SUPER excited to have hit such a great golf shot, but at the same time FEEL REALLY bad because you just needlessly endangered the group ahead.

A few weeks back I was playing with a group of retired gentlemen.  On the 6th hole, a par 5, I had honors, but playing ready golf, I explained that the group ahead of us was just crossing the 250 stick, and I have hit it to that point in the past (it's a 265+ yard shot to that point) so I waited.  They all tee'd off since the longest hitter in the group was clearly safe and after the last of them tee'd off, I proceeded to hit my shot.  The group ahead of us was off in the right rough out of site, but pulled out after I hit, and of course my ball is the drive of the round (if not week) and is straight as the day is long down the right side of the fairway.  It came up easily 30 yards short of the group ahead of us, but still uncomfortably close.

The funny part happens on the 7th tee box.  I see the group ahead of us waiting, so I explain to my group that I want to putt out and run over to apologize for the previous drive.  The guy from the group see's me walking over and proceeds to approach me.  I figure he is going to yell at me for not waiting for them to clear, instead he reaches his hand out and says.  DAMN, that was one hell of a drive, we thought you were Mark Wilson (the PGA professional lives one town over and has on occasion come out to play that particular golf course, and he is capable of hitting it that far.

I was safe to say, very honored.

[Hardballs]

I've been spoilt up until recently, me and my golf buds tee off early! First light sometimes! So were used to having the course to ourselves! And 2 or 3 of us can fly round in 2.5+ hrs. Bliss! Now suddenly there's been an influx of hackers!! Prob due to the open and various other televised golf tours. All of a sudden everyone wants to be Philip mickleson! We'll be bombing round and then get to the 10th only to find they've let 4 shmucks on the back 9! Theses useless mole diggers can add upto an hour on our back 9 alone! What's the point of teeing off early if this happens! Now I'm a laid back kinda golfer and usually just accept it, but my bud gets furious! He'll stare at them, hit balls close to them, bully them and make sure they know he wants to get through, I sometimes have to reign him in! But he mostly does have a point, when a group ahead spray their balls in different direction, then go searching, drop and do it again, without letting us through, its obvious they know nothing of golf etiquette, if anything about golf at all! And for that reason alone, anyone without a certified handicap should not be allowed to play more than 9 holes, at least that way they can only annoy you for half a game! Rant over... Thanks for listening!

[Beachcomber]

First off, why did you politely decline to play with the other single?  Secondly, why didn't you - and your 'friend' team up with the twosome teeing off, to make a foursome?

People... This is why courses take too long to play!  W.T.F.

[Hardballs]

^^^ good point! I like playing with new people! As long as they shut up and keep moving!

[RickK]

If I hit a ball that ends up anywhere near anyone in the fairway that I thought was out of my range, I will go up to the green or whereever they are hitting their next shot and apologize.  It irritates me when someone behind me is hitting balls close to where we are...within 10 or 15 yards.  I usually will not say anything the first and maybe even the 2nd time. But if it continues, I won't drive back to them, but I will sure as heck wait on them to get up to where I am and mention that they need to wait till we are totally out of range.  Only had a couple of people get POd about it and generally it is the beer talking when they do.  I just make sure they get the point. Only had 1 serious altercation on the golf course but that is another story.

[Hardballs]

Tell us that story man!!!

[jetsknicks1]

^^^ good point! I like playing with new people! As long as they shut up and keep moving!

[quote name="Hardballs" url="/t/68701/how-to-politely-tell-somebody-they-are-bad-at-golf/36#post_876433"]I've been spoilt up until recently, me and my golf buds tee off early! First light sometimes! So were used to having the course to ourselves! And 2 or 3 of us can fly round in 2.5+ hrs. Bliss! Now suddenly there's been an influx of hackers!! Prob due to the open and various other televised golf tours. All of a sudden everyone wants to be Philip mickleson! We'll be bombing round and then get to the 10th only to find they've let 4 shmucks on the back 9! Theses useless mole diggers can add upto an hour on our back 9 alone! What's the point of teeing off early if this happens! Now I'm a laid back kinda golfer and usually just accept it, but my bud gets furious! He'll stare at them, hit balls close to them, bully them and make sure they know he wants to get through, I sometimes have to reign him in! But he mostly does have a point, when a group ahead spray their balls in different direction, then go searching, drop and do it again, without letting us through, its obvious they know nothing of golf etiquette, if anything about golf at all! And for that reason alone, anyone without a certified handicap should not be allowed to play more than 9 holes, at least that way they can only annoy you for half a game! Rant over... Thanks for listening![/quote] You sound like an absolute joy to play with. Hackers, shmucks and mole diggers? Nice. ;-)

[Ernest Jones]

You sound like an absolute joy to play with. Hackers, shmucks and mole diggers? Nice. ;-)

No kidding. Is Hardballs really Rick Martin with a new account? I guess Hardballs shot a 67 his very first time out and bagged the beer cart girl at the turn.

[krupa]

Originally Posted by Hardballs

I've been spoilt up until recently, me and my golf buds tee off early! First light sometimes! So were used to having the course to ourselves! And 2 or 3 of us can fly round in 2.5+ hrs. Bliss!

Now suddenly there's been an influx of hackers!!

Prob due to the open and various other televised golf tours. All of a sudden everyone wants to be Philip mickleson!

We'll be bombing round and then get to the 10th only to find they've let 4 shmucks on the back 9! Theses useless mole diggers can add upto an hour on our back 9 alone!

What's the point of teeing off early if this happens!

Now I'm a laid back kinda golfer and usually just accept it, but my bud gets furious! He'll stare at them, hit balls close to them, bully them and make sure they know he wants to get through, I sometimes have to reign him in!

But he mostly does have a point, when a group ahead spray their balls in different direction, then go searching, drop and do it again, without letting us through, its obvious they know nothing of golf etiquette, if anything about golf at all!

And for that reason alone, anyone without a certified handicap should not be allowed to play more than 9 holes, at least that way they can only annoy you for half a game!

Rant over... Thanks for listening!

Your friend intentionally hits balls close to other players and bullies them but it's the other players who don't know anything about etiquette?

[Spyder]

Originally Posted by krupa

Your friend intentionally hits balls close to other players and bullies them but it's the other players who don't know anything about etiquette?

Smoke a few rocks and it will make perfect sense.

[Effington]

In response to the original question, the player in front did not do anything wrong as long as he is keeping pace with the group in front of him.  In fact, he did the right thing by offering to play with you.  He even joined the group ahead to keep the pace fast.

As someone else mentioned, if someone I didn't know (who earlier declined an invite to join me) asked me to play faster when I wasn't slowing down the pace of play, and also told me which tees to play off of, I would not be pleased.

[JerryTimes]

I'll respond to the original post, since I sort of am that guy.  I've been playing for 3 summers now, and I don't get many chances to play 18,. maybe once, luckily twice a month.  I learned early this year to always wait, even when I rarely hit a club as long as I can on every shot.  I was on a short par 5 (about 470 yards) with a little wind behind me.  I made a nice drive and had a 2some in front of me.  I haven't hit my three wood well all that much, but whenever I'm in a situation where it's needed I always us it.  Anyway, I hit it when I shouldn't have, and I bombed it...... needless to say I hit it about 5 yards short of where the 2some was.  I'll never do that again, even when it's a shot that I'd rarely ever make.  They didn't say anything, but they were having beers in the clubhouse after and I bought them two.  I felt like an idiot.  Anyway, don't get mad at new golfers, especially when they went out on an early morning, probably with the intention of missing the crowd.

[MS256]

Originally Posted by Hardballs

Now I'm a laid back kinda golfer and usually just accept it, but my bud gets furious! He'll stare at them, hit balls close to them, bully them and make sure they know he wants to get through, I sometimes have to reign him in!

But he mostly does have a point, when a group ahead spray their balls in different direction, then go searching, drop and do it again, without letting us through, its obvious they know nothing of golf etiquette, if anything about golf at all!

My guess is that your "bud" will eventually find the wrong person to try to bully...As all bullies eventually do.

Sometimes after just a little attitude adjustment they can turn into good people.