Murphy's Law for bogey golfer

[rkim291968]

PART I:

If driver works, putting sucks.   If ball striking improves, short game goes south.  Never will everything work at the same time.

If you buy a new, expensive equipment, it improves your game for a week.  Two weeks later, you are back to where you started at, minus what you paid for the equipment.  Worse yet, you see an EBay ad that sells your new equipment for 1/2 of what you paid for.

If you practice like a dog for a month, your handicap index goes lower (finally!!!).   As soon as you stop practicing for two days, you lose all your improvements.

Every sub-90 round will be followed by over-100 round.   But not every over-100 round will be followed by sub-90 round.

If there is a parking lot next to a hole, your drive will find the parking lot and hits your car.

If you are sure you hit a 260 yard drive, GPS measurement shows it only went 220.

If you hit a mulligan because a playing partner insisted, the mulligan shot is worse than your original one.

If you hit a once in a life time shot, there is no one to witness it.

If you get to green in two on a par 5 hole, you three putt the hole.

If you lip out on the first hole, you will have a good (?) putting round with a dozen more lip outs.

If you align yourself to hit a draw, you hit a push.   If you align yourself to hit a fade, you shank it.  If you try to hit a straight shot, you either get a push or shank.

[bgary34]

This is by far the most accurate thing I have ever read on the internet. I laughed out loud (slightly hysterically) several times, and now my girlfriend thinks I am insane. Can't wait for part 2!

[Lihu]

Ditto, it's funny and unfortunately true

[Strandly]

If you get to green in two on a par 5 hole, you three putt the hole.

That's how I roll!

[David in FL]

What makes you think these only apply to bogey golfers?! :~(

[Meltdwhiskey]

I like the one about hitting your own car.  Funny stuff.

[kw purp]

If driver works, putting sucks. If ball striking improves, short game goes south. Never will everything work at the same time.

Lol so true

[Nutter]

" If you lip out on the first hole, you will have a good (?) putting round with a dozen more lip outs."

I've had the lip outs for the last three rounds at least I know it's not my fault

[dbuck]

I resemble all those remarks.

[inthehole]

awesome .... forgot, if you miss an easy 3 footer on the first hole and make double, its a guaranteed precurser to the rest of the round being in the toilet.

[Moppy]

I can't wait until these are my problems. I am a double bogey golfer, and it is more like, if you hit a great drive off the tee, and follow up with a sweet three wood on a par five, you are certainly looking at a blowup hole.

[rkim291968]

That's a hilarious one!  LOL.

[Moppy]

Yeah, like when it happened to me yesterday.

[skywaterbanjo]

These are so great and so true.  I can particularly relate to the lowering of the handicap!

[rehmwa]

if you hit a great drive off the tee, and follow up with a sweet three wood on a par five, you are certainly looking at a blowup hole.

Last week - Hole 16 at the Classic (Brainard MN)

Driver, 4 hybrid to the green.  Putting for Eagle!!!!

4 putts later.......

[inthehole]

Last week - Hole 16 at the Classic (Brainard MN)

Driver, 4 hybrid to the green.  Putting for Eagle!!!!

4 putts later.......

feel your pain ... done that twice this year.

[hacker101]

OMG that fits me to a tee!

[LocoPatrick]

If you are shooting for even bogey going into the last hole, the last hole will explode (Happened to me yesterday).