Annoying Golf Partner

[kenlee]

   Hello everyone. Through the years, I have spent time following threads mostly pertaining to swing tips and etiquette questions. I never thought about joining until now because it was always enough for me just to read other people's posts and usually find the answer i was looking for, or a helpful swing tip that i could use . But this year , things changed , I decided I wanted to start posting . I retired in January 2022 and I have had much more time to golf, but unfortunately i have had a difficult time finding suitable golf partners. Basically, i have spent the last year golfing with someone who i believe to be the most annoying golf partner to ever walk the planet. The partner in question has many annoying traits and habits which sometimes set me off while i am on the course. Firstly this golfer has a habit of spitting and hacking all over, dressing like a slob, accelerating the golf cart in players backswings, constantly stomping on my putting line,  and talks very loud due to hearing loss I think.  But the most annoying habit he has is standing next to the flag while I am either hitting my approach shot from the fairway or chipping on to the green, now mind you I am not talking about someone who is off to the side a respectful distance but so close it is almost like he is tending the flag. I would like to hear what stories people in the sand trap community can share on this topic. 

 

P.S. I also forgot to add that i like to walk the course.  The partner in question always rides, and  i feel that for him golf is just a chore that he needs to finish as quickly as possible.

[ChetlovesMer]

Hi Kenlee.

Welcome to the forum. 

6 minutes ago, kenlee said:

i believe to be the most annoying golf partner to ever walk the planet.

That's a bold statement right there. You've obviously never played with me. 🤪

Finding the "right" golf partner can be a challenge. The way I see it, you have 3 choices. 

1. You could coach your current partner. You could inform him of the etiquette rules of golf. Then also inform him of some of the things, that while not strictly bad etiquette, annoy you. Help him out. This may be good for you because you'll get a better partner. But would also be good for him if/when he plays with other golfers. 
2. You could ditch the guy and find somebody new. 
3. Or, since you are now retired, you could join your local muni and show up first thing in the morning each weekday. My experience is there are between 8 and 20 retired guys that show up each weekday morning at most munis. They are always looking for new golfers to add to their group. Sometimes they are happy to have new guys join in. The new guys haven't heard their same stories they've been telling each other each morning for the last umteen years. If you and your buddy both join in the group of retired guys perhaps one of those guys would coach up your buddy. 

Once again, welcome to the forum. Glad to have you adding to the content. Let us know what you decide to do. 

[dennyjones]

Welcome to TST!  Chet gave you some great advice.   Being a retiree doesn't limit your golf time to early morning.   Early afternoon is also a great time to play because the morning rush is out and almost done and the late afternoon crowd is still at work.  

We're glad you've joined and posted.   We'd like to hear more.  

[Double Mocha Man]

4 hours ago, kenlee said:

   Hello everyone. Through the years, I have spent time following threads mostly pertaining to swing tips and etiquette questions. I never thought about joining until now because it was always enough for me just to read other people's posts and usually find the answer i was looking for, or a helpful swing tip that i could use . But this year , things changed , I decided I wanted to start posting . I retired in January 2022 and I have had much more time to golf, but unfortunately i have had a difficult time finding suitable golf partners. Basically, i have spent the last year golfing with someone who i believe to be the most annoying golf partner to ever walk the planet. The partner in question has many annoying traits and habits which sometimes set me off while i am on the course. Firstly this golfer has a habit of spitting and hacking all over, dressing like a slob, accelerating the golf cart in players backswings, constantly stomping on my putting line,  and talks very loud due to hearing loss I think.  But the most annoying habit he has is standing next to the flag while I am either hitting my approach shot from the fairway or chipping on to the green, now mind you I am not talking about someone who is off to the side a respectful distance but so close it is almost like he is tending the flag. I would like to hear what stories people in the sand trap community can share on this topic. 

 

P.S. I also forgot to add that i like to walk the course.  The partner in question always rides, and  i feel that for him golf is just a chore that he needs to finish as quickly as possible.

Doesn't sound like a good fit for a golf partner.  Are you friends off the course?  Will he bite off your nose if you quit playing with him?  I'd look for better partners for your twosome.

[boogielicious]

@kenlee,

I play as a single a lot. I also try to play early as @ChetlovesMer suggested. I’ve found the early crew tend to be fast players and also very nice.

At Campbell’s Scottish Highlands in New Hampshire, I know when certain players have standing tee times and try to join them. There are two groups of regulars that are fun to play with and I always try to get those spots. They play fast too.

At my other regular course in North Kingstown, RI, same thing. The first tee time is 7:00 where four ladies lead off and will finish in 3 hours with at least one walking. The three groups behind them are also nice and fast. So if one of those spots is open, I’ll grab it.

I also play with @Bob M and North Kingstown. I’ll have to work with him to get him to spit and hack more, accelerate his cart, stand next to the flag and dress like a slob. Right now he’s too polite and well mannered.

[TourSpoon]

In our group no one is shy to ask someone to curtail an annoying habit. We are all friends and respect each other. Occasionally, someone gets reminded about etiquette or even a personal preference, but no one gets bent out of shape. The bent out of shape guys just don't make it long. If you show your ass, the "Commish" will talk to you in private and if you can't handle it you can find another group. 

I wonder how your friend would respond to being politely asked not to stand on your line, or to move away from the flag when you are playing up. If you don't think the laundry list will be well received then move on. 

 

[Bob M]

2 hours ago, boogielicious said:

@kenlee,

I play as a single a lot. I also try to play early as @ChetlovesMer suggested. I’ve found the early crew tend to be fast players and also very nice.

At Campbell’s Scottish Highlands in New Hampshire, I know when certain players have standing tee times and try to join them. There are two groups of regulars that are fun to play with and I always try to get those spots. They play fast too.

At my other regular course in North Kingstown, RI, same thing. The first tee time is 7:00 where four ladies lead off and will finish in 3 hours with at least one walking. The three groups behind them are also nice and fast. So if one of those spots is open, I’ll grab it.

I also play with @Bob M and North Kingstown. I’ll have to work with him to get him to spit and hack more, accelerate his cart, stand next to the flag and dress like a slob. Right now he’s too polite and well mannered.

@boogielicious - Awww shucks..... perhaps I should spend the winter months practicing my spitting and hacking so I'll be ready for next season .

All kidding aside, @boogielicious is a terrific playing partner, with whom I always enjoy playing.

[kenlee]

   I forgot to add that another annoying habit this person has is his phone rings frequently during the round. Usually he answers and tells them he is golfing and will call them back . I just wonder why he does not just silence his phone and let these calls go directly to voice mail. I have trouble finding suitable golf partners because i ask people to not stand behind me in the tee box. this one request leads to a great deal of animosity with the average golfer. I have tried many different ways to address this situation with playing partners to no avail. Usually i will tell them before the round that it is my own peculiarity and not anything that is wrong with them. This method might work for a hole or two than i will have to ask them again. All that being said, this is why when i find one golf partner who will honor this one request I am hesitant to shitcan them. I am very interested in hearing more of other sand trappers stories ,experiences, anecdotes , and most importantly advice. I am motivated to better my game , and would be interested in other golfers mental approach to the game , i.e. " blocking this shit out ."

Oh, I forgot to add that the spitting and hacking is accompanied by copious amounts of phlegm and discharge, Sometimes i throw up in my mouth a little. these lung cookies can happen at anytime. For instance, while you are standing over an 8 footer for birdie , getting ready to tee off, or in the middle of your backswing.

[Double Mocha Man]

1 hour ago, kenlee said:

I have trouble finding suitable golf partners because i ask people to not stand behind me in the tee box. this one request leads to a great deal of animosity...

If possible, play ready golf. Beat your buddies to the tee box and hit your tee shot before they can get there.

Or prepare for when you are going to be a Touring Pro and there will be people mingling, mumbling on all sides of you.

[Darkfrog]

7 hours ago, boogielicious said:

I play as a single a lot. I also try to play early as @ChetlovesMer suggested. I’ve found the early crew tend to be fast players and also very nice.

@kenlee, I'd recommend this as well. I got connected with my current group by playing early morning rounds as a single, and just kept getting paired with the same people. We were all like minded; love golf, willing to play rain or shine, good balance of fun/serious, cool to hang out with. Eventually we decided to make it a regular foursome.

[mcanadiens]

4 hours ago, kenlee said:

Oh, I forgot to add that the spitting and hacking is accompanied by copious amounts of phlegm and discharge, Sometimes i throw up in my mouth a little. these lung cookies can happen at anytime. For instance, while you are standing over an 8 footer for birdie , getting ready to tee off, or in the middle of your backswing.

Sounds like the poor bastard has some serious health issues. 

On 12/1/2022 at 2:35 PM, kenlee said:

But the most annoying habit he has is standing next to the flag while I am either hitting my approach shot from the fairway or chipping on to the green, now mind you I am not talking about someone who is off to the side a respectful distance but so close it is almost like he is tending the flag.

But this is just really quirky. For safety's sake I try to not be where someone is trying to hit a very hard and fast moving golf ball. 

Guess you can just aim for his head if he's on the right side on the pin. Try to ricochet it off his belly for that extra soft landing. 

Edited December 2, 2022 by mcanadiens

[bking]

6 hours ago, kenlee said:

  I have trouble finding suitable golf partners because i ask people to not stand behind me in the tee box. this one request leads to a great deal of animosity with the average golfer.

 

That's a fairly common thing where I play, and it's usually related to us all helping follow the shot. Old eyes have to help each other out.   But... I would be perfectly OK if my partner simply asked me to move from there. 

[Nave]

Welcome to TST - great to have you on board.

[WUTiger]

There's a guy - welll call him Rex - who plays in the same amateur circuit as me. Three years ago, we have a tournament interrupted by rain storms on the first day. X and I are sharing a cart, and Rex is on his own. We get to the turn, and X and I go into the pro shop to get a GatorAde. Clerk says she can't accept cash, so she takes a credit card. She disappears for five minutes, and then comes back with my card.

X and I rush to #10 tee, and Rex is hopping mad. He says we're throwing his game off. He tees off and snap-hooks his ball deep into the parallel creek. X and I hit drives into light rough to right of fairway, and Rex steps up and repeats the snaphook. He angrily withdraws from the tournament, and blames it on me. X and I reorganize the scoring, and give Rex his scorecard. Despite the drama, X and I have to wait five minutes for the next group to vacate No. 10 green before we hit our approaches.

But wait, there's more. Two years later in the amateur circuit Senior Championship, I end up in a twosome with - Rex! Our third player is a no-show, so it's just Rex and me. Things are peaceful until the 18th hole, and Rex is playing well. It's a rollercoaster 500-yard par 5 with a hazard and OB along the right side. I explain the layout of the hole to Rex, who hasn't played the course before. He pushes his drive off to the right. We walk up to the landing area, and he can't find his ball. He tells the rules guy he wants a one-stroke drop because his ball probably went into the hazard. The rules guy says if he didn't see the ball go into the hazard, it's a lost ball or OB: +2, stroke and distance.

A fuming Rex goes back to the tee and re-tees his ball. He hits a monster high-draw drive that reaches the crest of the hill and trickles down into the flat. He has a reasonable chance to hit a 6i onto the green, two putts and salvage a bogie. Not so. He flies the green with his approach, overshoots coming back, and - surprise - angrily withdraws from the tournament. But, he's got my scorecard! 

I retrieve the scorecard as he goes up to the scoring tent to explain how poorly he was treated by the rules guy. After the brouha, I get the fairway scoring guy to verify my hole score - unfortunately a double bogie - and have the rules tent verify my score. (No big deal, I wasn't threatening to win the flight.)

I then informed the Amateur Circuit coordinator that he was never again the place me in a tournament group with Rex.

Edited December 3, 2022 by WUTiger

[ChetlovesMer]

20 hours ago, kenlee said:

I have trouble finding suitable golf partners because i ask people to not stand behind me in the tee box. this one request leads to a great deal of animosity with the average golfer. I have tried many different ways to address this situation with playing partners to no avail.

This one may be on you, depending on how you define "behind me". 

It's quite normal for other golfers to stand in a place where they can track your ball for you. It's kind of the one time where everyone is on the same team. Think of it this way. Even if you like a slow relaxed round, I have yet to find any golfer who truly enjoys hunting for golf balls after the tee shot. If everyone in the group tries to track the ball it generally helps at least speed up the ball hunting process, if not eliminate it. 

I know there have been a number of times in my golf life where I've tee'd off and literally had no idea where I just hit it. So, I'm always hopeful that the guys standing behind me can help me out. 

Here's another thing. If you ever play a course that has "interestingly" set up tee-boxes, sometimes there a very few options as to where the others in your foursome can stand. Wolf Creek in Mesquite, NV is a great example of this. You may have to find a way to get through this little idiosyncrasy. If you ever play one of these courses there may be no other option than to get over it. There are millions of ways to get past these kinds of things. I'm sure this forum can help you with that. 

The group of people I play with like to play fast. We all watch each other's tee-shots as we know finding tee-shots quickly speeds up the game. Think of it as having helpers. Don't think of it as having somebody "trying to get into your head", or what ever. Let the security of knowing you have extra eyes on your golf ball relax you, rather than cause you stress. 

Most importantly remember, golf is supposed to be fun (I know that's sometimes easier said than done.) There are all kinds of people in the world. I like to think most of them are trying to do the right thing. 

[kenlee]

I do not mind golfers in front or behind me in line with the tee markers. i also do not mind if golf partners are to the right outside the tee markers.  I get uncomfortable when someone is directly behind , down the line  so to speak . is it proper golf etiquette to be inside the tee markers when someone else has the box.? I also notice that golfers tend to be in a hurry to tee off , so if i tee off last they will usually go back to their golf cart or trolley.

[ChetlovesMer]

43 minutes ago, kenlee said:

if i tee off last they will usually go back to their golf cart or trolley.

What?!?! 

How rude. 

Wrong, they should help you watch your ball. As I mentioned above if everyone watches everyone else's ball, then in general less time is spent hunting for tee-shots and the whole group plays faster. 

[Double Mocha Man]

Alright, another Ron story.  Yep, him again.  Playing in a threesome with the Director of Instruction, who hits the ball a long way.  Ron won't watch his tee shots because he feels it will mess with his own swing... so he looks away.  After he hears the strike he'll look back up but by then usually can't track the ball.  Mostly because he's expecting it to be on a trajectory similar to his own.  Not a moonshot travelling at the speed of light.

And a story about my Dad.  He has taken up golf in his retirement.  He plays with several friends his age.  I'm about to play my first year of college golf and we play together for the first time.  Dis-similar to Ron he watches my drives.  Not that I'm a high ball hitter, but Dad claims he can never see my ball.  He's in his late 60's and all his friends, with him included, hit their drives 20 feet high.  So I'm the first youthful guy he plays with and doesn't know where to look for the ball, trajectory wise.

We played 9 holes together and he never saw a single one of my drives, though he was quite complimentary when my ball was spotted in the fairway 100 yards ahead of his.