Are you happy being single?

[neophyte]

I read that 50% of the adults are singles and that more and more singles today are happy being single.  Are you happy or unhappy being single or do you wish you were single again or married again?

I am single today, I was married for 17 years and have been single for the last 15 years.  I am happy today, and was unhappy married. I have no desire to be married because today marriage has become a license for men and women to be mean and manipulative to their spouse and children.

[GJBenn85]

I'm only 25 and have, at my own doing, never been in a relationship.  Based on what I see others go through, I am not entirely thrilled with the prospect, let alone marriage.  It's rather nice being able to do whatever I want because I only have to answer to myself.  Sounds bad but I like the "friends with benefits" concept.

[Gresh24]

Originally Posted by neophyte

I have no desire to be married because today marriage has become a license for men and women to be mean and manipulative to their spouse and children.

Wow, that couldn't be further from the truth.  Marriage doesn't make people mean and manipulative.  Mean and manipulative people get married.

Who cares what works for people to be happy!?  People in happy marriages are happy.  People that got out of bad marriages are happy being single again.  Young single people are usually happy with their situation.

[inthehole]

I waited until I was more mature about every facet of life to get married (41).      My wife & I have a great relationship (she's my golf buddy too).     I think too many people make the mistake of getting married way too early in life ... I did so many cool things that I couldn't have done if I married early...

[mirv]

i'm about a month shy of being 32 and have only been in relationships for probably 6-7 years of my life.  i'd say overall, i'm a Lot happier single than i am in a relationship.  i enjoy the freedom of it, and being able to avoid all the annoying hassles that seem to come with relationships.  a friend of mine, his girlfriend calls him literally every 15 minutes when they're apart to tell him.... NOTHING.  "i'm going to wal-mart now."  "okay honey, love you."   15 minutes later, "i'm at the gas station now."  "okay babe, thanks for telling me, love you."  i was like, what the hell was THAT, man?  did you ask her to give you updates every 15 minutes?  "no, she just sorta does it...  it'd probably hurt her feelings if i told her to stop."  i don't need any of that, thanks.

also, girls tend to get all insulted and confused and hurt when they realize they have to share my top priorities slot with things like golf and playing music.   last relationship i had, she liked the music part, but hated the golf part.   knew pretty quick that wasn't going to work out...

[Shorty]

Originally Posted by neophyte

today marriage has become a license for men and women to be mean and manipulative to their spouse and children.

What sort of idiotic, twisted logic is this?

It's the kind of logic that will ensure that you remain single whether you want to or not, because you have such a negative and foolish attitude.

On what basis have you come to this conclusion? The fact that your marriage failed?

Absolutely ridiculous.

[sean_miller]

I was relatively happy being single, but a world of social opportunities opened up when I got married. Same thing can be said for having kids. I make more sacrifices in order to have some "me time" now, but the tradeoff is worth it. Any hobbies or activities that used to give me joy as a singleton, either became family hobbies (like golf) or seem selfish and superficial now. What gives me joy now is different than 10 years ago. The constant pursuit of happiness can be compared to the search for the perfect golf swing. Some people will never be satisfied and other people know when they're there, stop searching, and relax. Or chillax as my daughter would say.

[tristanhilton85]

Two things:

1.) I am very happy being married

2.) How does this qualify as GOLF talk?

[Fourputt]

Originally Posted by neophyte

I read that 50% of the adults are singles and that more and more singles today are happy being single.  Are you happy or unhappy being single or do you wish you were single again or married again?

I am single today, I was married for 17 years and have been single for the last 15 years.  I am happy today, and was unhappy married. I have no desire to be married because today marriage has become a license for men and women to be mean and manipulative to their spouse and children.

Nuts.  You make one bad decision and base the rest of your life on that?

Like one of the above posts, I waited until I knew what I wanted from life before embarking on a long term relationship.  I did the things I wanted to do and as a result I met a woman who was at least in most respects interested in the same things.  She doesn't play golf, but that is not the major reason for my existence.  Our biggest passion is scuba diving, and being on and around the ocean (which may sound strange since neither of us has ever lived anywhere but inland).  We both have our mutual likes and our individual likes, which gives us quality time together and quality time apart.  We are soon moving to our beach home in the Bahamas, and leaving city crowds, city hassles, and city conveniences behind.  Could I be happy single and not moving to the island?  Maybe, but I'll never know.  I do know that I'm ecstatic about moving there with  my wife of 19 years.  No golf there, and that will be an adjustment.  I'll have to take vacations to play.  But fishing in my front yard, snorkeling, free diving and spearfishing for dinner, beachcombing, and just slowing my life down to island time is something I eagerly look forward to.   I'm taking the expression "going native" seriously.

Originally Posted by tristanhilton85

Two things:

1.) I am very happy being married

2.) How does this qualify as GOLF talk?

1)  Ditto

2)  Good question.

[jamo]

2.) How does this qualify as GOLF talk?

It doesn't. It's been moved.

[Zeph]

I really enjoy my time as single at the moment, but I definitely don't want to be so for the rest of my life.

[neophyte]

The care of the family is the parents responsibility. And divorce, domestic abuse, domestic violence, unsupervised children, children getting pregnet, are way too commonly seen for those who are working with children.

In over 30 years of coaching and 40 years in education, I have coached and taught way too many girls who were in court or under court supervision because of abuse at the hands of dad, and whats becoming common,  mothers, and single mothers and their boyfriends.  And the schools and courts have disgusted me because they don't want to get involved because they would have to help pay the cost of helping children who are hurting because of abuse.  Just look at the topic of bullying.  Its more out in the open, but no one wants the responsibility resulting when moving the bully away from the victim and  paying for the isolated bully's education.  Plus the legal costs to get to this level would cost the school up to $20000 just in legal costs for one bully who fought back in court.

How is this golf related, how can man/woman play golf if you are in a bad marriage or your children are being hurt?  If you are home schooling and counseling hurting children, where is your time to golf.  If you are paying for private schools where is the money to play golf.  If you are paying lawyers thousands where is the money to play golf?

[Shorty]

What on earth are you on about?

What has all this, including children getting " pregnet " have to do with being single and marriage becoming a licence (not license) to be "mean and manipulative"

These issues have everything to do wit mean and manipulative people and nothing at all todo with people being single, married or whatever.

Y0u have adopted the famous "Hitler's dog" logic: Hitler was a Nazi. He had a dog, therfore his dog was a Nazi.

You have an axe of some description to grind, but I'm wondering what it has to do with anything at all.

And...you are suggesting that bullies be removed away from their victims and educated in isolation. And.....then you say that noone wants the "responsibility" of paying for it.  Where does this thinking come from?  What sort of "education" have you been working in for 40 years?  Not a lot of education has rubbed off on you in that time, evidently, just a shopping list of bitter complaints and a desire to perpetuate untruths and nonsense.  Of course courts get involved and help children who are victims.

My guess is that you have had a bitter dispute with your ex wife and as a result your world view has changed to one where you are suspicious and negative.

Paying for private schools is a choice.

Staying in a bad marriage is a choice.

Home schooling is a choice.

Paying lawyers thousands is a consequence of non golf related events.

I'm still trying to work out what your point is.

What does it have to do with marriage? What does it have to do with being single?

[Gresh24]

Wow, someone has some serious issues...

[luu5]

My HC is 18,5 but I have dreams about being single.

Why is this still in Golf talk?

[sean_miller]

Originally Posted by Gresh24

Wow, someone has some serious issues...

That may be true, but he does have a point in questioning the OP's motives.

[MiniBlueDragon]

I was 23 and happily single and had been for a couple of years when I met my now wife. I was enjoying not having to answer to anyone, not having to report my every move, not having to spend time or money on anyone but myself and quite frankly enjoying acting like a bit of a sl*t. Hell even the night I met my wife for the first time my plan was to get her in the sack. lol

She was a good girl however and we ended up swapping numbers and dating for a year or so before moving in together. Five years later I asked her to marry me and then 5 years after that after a lot of saving and planning we got married (back in January).

Almost 11 years after I first met her I'm now happily married with plans to start a family over the next year or two and I wouldn't change it for the world. I've found a lifelong "soul mate" as cliche as it sounds.

I think life is what you make it; you can be single and perfectly happy with your life or you can be married and perfectly happy with your life; it entirely depends on what you need at any given moment to be happy.

[newtogolf]

You have a real dark and cynical outlook on marriage and relationships.  If I was a parent of one of your students or athletes I'd be concerned that my kids would be influenced by someone with such a negative outlook.  I'm 46, bullying, teen pregnancy, domestic violence and divorce aren't new - the internet and media just focus on it more these days.  Somehow past generations survived life without Dr. Phil I don't think it's as bad as you and him would like to see it.

Originally Posted by neophyte

The care of the family is the parents responsibility. And divorce, domestic abuse, domestic violence, unsupervised children, children getting pregnet, are way too commonly seen for those who are working with children.

In over 30 years of coaching and 40 years in education, I have coached and taught way too many girls who were in court or under court supervision because of abuse at the hands of dad, and whats becoming common,  mothers, and single mothers and their boyfriends.  And the schools and courts have disgusted me because they don't want to get involved because they would have to help pay the cost of helping children who are hurting because of abuse.  Just look at the topic of bullying.  Its more out in the open, but no one wants the responsibility resulting when moving the bully away from the victim and  paying for the isolated bully's education.  Plus the legal costs to get to this level would cost the school up to $20000 just in legal costs for one bully who fought back in court.

How is this golf related, how can man/woman play golf if you are in a bad marriage or your children are being hurt?  If you are home schooling and counseling hurting children, where is your time to golf.  If you are paying for private schools where is the money to play golf.  If you are paying lawyers thousands where is the money to play golf?