Kate Upton upset, but misinformed, about country club policy

[Gunther]

I definitely do and say things when I'm with the boys that I wouldn't in mixed company. And if we're being honest, I don't think I'm an anomaly.

[newtogolf]

I definitely do and say things when I'm with the boys that I wouldn't in mixed company. And if we're being honest, I don't think I'm an anomaly.

I usually agree with @Fourputt but in this case I think he's in the minority.  Just about all of the guys I know behave differently when they are out with the boys versus being in mixed company.  Maybe it's an age thing or Rick is just more conscientious than most about what he says at all times.

[isukgolf]

I usually agree with @Fourputt but in this case I think he's in the minority.  Just about all of the guys I know behave differently when they are out with the boys versus being in mixed company.  Maybe it's an age thing or Rick is just more conscientious than most about what he says at all times.

Agree ... well not the part of agreeing with @Fourputt ...(I mean that in the respectful way too)

but with behaving differently with my core group of golf buddies ... there is NO topic or ribbing that is off limits ...

[Gunther]

Ya, might be an idea for a new thread, Crudest thing you've even seen, heard, done on a golf course. I've got a few pretty low rent buds, so I've heard/seen enough to fill a few pages. I'm not startin it tho. ;)

[rb72]

With Mr. iacas' permission I would like to repond to this. First of all I never said I do any of those things (I do some, I don't do some). As several posters indicated, I believe you are in the minority when you say you do and say nothing different in the company of men than in mixed company I think the very existance of the term "mixed company" is evidence of that. I don't profess to know what would or would not offend any given woman, but like most of us I have certain filters that apply to certain situations. The things I would do/say in front of my buddies or even men i don't know that well that I simply wouldn't be comfortable doing or saying in front of women I don't know. Now while that is not a major issue for me personally, I simply stated that wanting to play the occasional round of golf in a state of uninhibbited comfort may be of value to some men. Just out of curiosity what specific behavior would you find so offensive among cigar smoking (it is outdoors), cursing (can't watch tv without hearing it), urinating on a nearby tree in the woods (I don't think this bothers too many males with the exception of male squirrels), spitting (Tiger does it, you wouldn't play with Tiiger?) or farting (like I said,you try making that putt for your one and only birdie of the day when you're holding one in) that you would refuse to play golf with the offender.

[Fourputt]

I've played with those guys too.  I'm not exactly a prude.  However, I always feel a bit uncomfortable when they start running down their wives or women in general, and lusting after every woman under 30 that they see.  I appreciate a nice looking woman as much as the next guy, but I stress the word "appreciate".  I can appreciate without being crude about it.  Some guys never seem to get past that high school attitude toward women, and that does bother me.  There is supposed to be a point where we start acting like adults and leave the schoolboy stuff behind.  Maybe it's because I was never a "jock", and didn't participate in those locker room shenanigans.  I was just raised different I guess.

With Mr. iacas' permission I would like to repond to this. First of all I never said I do any of those things (I do some, I don't do some). As several posters indicated, I believe you are in the minority when you say you do and say nothing different in the company of men than in mixed company I think the very existance of the term "mixed company" is evidence of that. I don't profess to know what would or would not offend any given woman, but like most of us I have certain filters that apply to certain situations. The things I would do/say in front of my buddies or even men i don't know that well that I simply wouldn't be comfortable doing or saying in front of women I don't know. Now while that is not a major issue for me personally, I simply stated that wanting to play the occasional round of golf in a state of uninhibbited comfort may be of value to some men.

Just out of curiosity what specific behavior would you find so offensive among cigar smoking (it is outdoors), cursing (can't watch tv without hearing it), urinating on a nearby tree in the woods (I don't think this bothers too many males with the exception of male squirrels), spitting (Tiger does it, you wouldn't play with Tiiger?) or farting (like I said,you try making that putt for your one and only birdie of the day when you're holding one in) that you would refuse to play golf with the offender.

I don't pee outdoors in public places.  Sorry but I simply don't.

I'm an ex smoker who didn't even like cigar smoke when I did smoke.  I like the natural scents of the outdoors and cigar smoke is pervasive enough to be smelled 200 yards downwind.

Farts dissipate so quickly outside that they are quite unnoticeable - by the way, women do that too.

I've rarely met a woman in the last 30 years who would have a problem with an occasional curse, but it's not particularly manly to "cuss like a sailor".  I've known a few women who could qualify for the cursing hall of fame - wasn't much impressed by them either.

Spitting, like farting, can be done discretely.  Neither needs to be showy.

[newtogolf]

I've played with those guys too.  I'm not exactly a prude.  However, I always feel a bit uncomfortable when they start running down their wives or women in general, and lusting after every woman under 30 that they see.  I appreciate a nice looking woman as much as the next guy, but I stress the word "appreciate".  I can appreciate without being crude about it.  Some guys never seem to get past that high school attitude toward women, and that does bother me.  There is supposed to be a point where we start acting like adults and leave the schoolboy stuff behind.  Maybe it's because I was never a "jock", and didn't participate in those locker room shenanigans.  I was just raised different I guess.

I've calmed down quite a bit since my daughter was born 18 years ago but I'm still less conscious overall of what I say when I'm with the guys versus mixed company.  I don't think women would be offended by what I say but because of how I was raised I wouldn't typically say the things in front of them I would if it was just the guys.

[rb72]

I've played with those guys too.  I'm not exactly a prude.  However, I always feel a bit uncomfortable when they start running down their wives or women in general, and lusting after every woman under 30 that they see.  I appreciate a nice looking woman as much as the next guy, but I stress the word "appreciate".  I can appreciate without being crude about it.  Some guys never seem to get past that high school attitude toward women, and that does bother me.  There is supposed to be a point where we start acting like adults and leave the schoolboy stuff behind.  Maybe it's because I was never a "jock", and didn't participate in those locker room shenanigans.  I was just raised different I guess.

I feel the same way as you on several of these issues but i'm not sure if you've answered my question. I'm not asking if you would do theses things but if you would be offended if someone else did them. For example, if we're at the teebox and its bordered by thick woods on two sides and I went about 10 feet deep behind the first tree and relieved myself, would that be cause for you to never want to play golf with me again? If it would, I would be surprised because I would never hesitate to do that in a group of men. If there were a woman in the group, however, I would not do that and i would wait for the next available port-a-john (which may be four or five holes away) and while I'm perfectly capable of holding it, it makes for a much less enjoyable four or five holes.

[rehmwa]

I feel the same way as you on several of these issues but i'm not sure if you've answered my question. I'm not asking if you would do theses things but if you would be offended if someone else did them. For example, if we're at the teebox and its bordered by thick woods on two sides and I went about 10 feet deep behind the first tree and relieved myself, would that be cause for you to never want to play golf with me again? If it would, I would be surprised because I would never hesitate to do that in a group of men. If there were a woman in the group, however, I would not do that and i would wait for the next available port-a-john (which may be four or five holes away) and while I'm perfectly capable of holding it, it makes for a much less enjoyable four or five holes.

I'll go behind a tree and pee in the woods.  even if there is a woman in the group.  I don't think that's rude at all.

(as for the rest, Fourputt's post 204 describes an attitude that I appreciate as well.  And I sometime do have issues with fourputt's delivery here, I also usually appreciate the message content even more so when I scan it.  In short, there's a difference between being uninhibited and having a good time and rough housing ----

vs those guys that go out of the way to be total a-holes just because they think it's funny.  I don't play twice with them either.  I've only met like two on the course in decades of playing golf.)

I find snobbery to be more people that talk about money, look down on you if you buy a beer or bloody vs some other cocktail, go on about their high end clubs, don't like your cargo shorts or the type of collared shirt, people that spend too much time putting down others and obsessed with others...etc etc etc.

Not wanting to spend too much time with jerks that say demeaning things is something else completely.

[Dave2512]

I not crazy about crude talk on the course regardless of the company. I don't feel that just because I am out there with "the guys" it's necessary to make vulgar comments about the cart girl young enough to be my daughter and I am all business with them. I don't care if she looks like a supermodel I won't be making a fool of myself flirting with her. Like Rick I left that behind in high school.

[BallMarker]

I not crazy about crude talk on the course regardless of the company. I don't feel that just because I am out there with "the guys" it's necessary to make vulgar comments about the cart girl young enough to be my daughter and I am all business with them. I don't care if she looks like a supermodel I won't be making a fool of myself flirting with her. Like Rick I left that behind in high school.

Agree. Nothing more annoying than someone who has to include f***, Sh*t, b*tch...etc. everytime they speak.