You Vote: Birth of Child or Big Payday?

[iacas]

This raises and interesting point.  To me at least.

For those that would choose the payday (and most seem to), at which point is the money not enough?  2 times yearly salary?, 1/2 salary?, $500?

I feel like that's probably going to get a little too personal. People will have different answers based on their income, savings, whether their wife works, how close they are to retirement… etc.

[CarlSpackler]

This raises and interesting point.  To me at least.

For those that would choose the payday (and most seem to), at which point is the money not enough?  2 times yearly salary?, 1/2 salary?, $500?

I think $50 would work for me.

Having been through the birth of 2 children, I can tell you that I didn't add a whole lot. I'm sure my wife appreciated my presence, but I was NOT a necessary attendee to the party. I passed on the offer to cut the cord too. I figured I was paying them to do the dirty work.

[14ledo81]

Quote:

Originally Posted by 14ledo81

This raises and interesting point.  To me at least.

For those that would choose the payday (and most seem to), at which point is the money not enough?  2 times yearly salary?, 1/2 salary?, $500?

I feel like that's probably going to get a little too personal. People will have different answers based on their income, savings, whether their wife works, how close they are to retirement… etc.

Agreed.

My point was more directed at @turtleback .  Would it be selfish of a father to throw away $500 to watch the birth of their child?  Where do you draw the line?

To me, it is something that does not have a monetary value, and as such, it is hard to compare it that way.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 14ledo81

This raises and interesting point.  To me at least.

For those that would choose the payday (and most seem to), at which point is the money not enough?  2 times yearly salary?, 1/2 salary?, $500?

I think $50 would work for me.

Having been through the birth of 2 children, I can tell you that I didn't add a whole lot. I'm sure my wife appreciated my presence, but I was NOT a necessary attendee to the party. I passed on the offer to cut the cord too. I figured I was paying them to do the dirty work.

And I have cut the cord every time.  I also would not want to miss the birth of my child.

Everybody is different, and I am fine with that.

[mvmac]

I am also a step-dad ... I was not there for those births, but I love them and care for them just has much as my own ... and if asked, they would say I was their "dad" more than their bio-dad ... when introduced I introduce them as my daughters

My situation is similar, step-dad to two boys and they've been calling me dad for 8 years now and my wife and I have no plans on having another kid.

Would it have been nice to be there for their births? Sure but honestly it's not really something I've given much thought too and neither have the kids. They don't even know or care if their bio-dad was present at their birth. He can have the birth memory, I'll take the rest.

I understand this is not how everyone feels and that's fine, just giving my take.

Perhaps not a perfect analogy, but if the money were to be a life changing amount for you and your family, you have to do what is best for them and take the money.  But for several times my salary, I am watching the baby be born.

I guess it depends on each person's definition of "life changing". My wife said having college paid for is life changing, I don't know whether I agree with her 100% (don't tell her I said that) but I think if we're talking 5 times my annual income, it would be tough for me to pass on the money.

[turtleback]

We're all entitled to our own opinions. Obviously, we have nothing in common.

It would just be nice if your opinion did not include the implication that those who disagree with you are bad fathers whose love for their kids is questionable.

[Lihu]

This raises and interesting point.  To me at least.

For those that would choose the payday (and most seem to), at which point is the money not enough?  2 times yearly salary?, 1/2 salary?, $500?

It's defined by my family (mainly the mother in law), 11M is more than 100x most peoples salaries.

It would be pretty out of touch with reality to leave that much money on the table. Truthfully, my wife (and her mom) would kill me after having the baby.

It would just be nice if your opinion did not include the implication that those who disagree with you are bad fathers whose love for their kids is questionable.

That's just part of my opinion, but I'll be sure to curb it a bit.

[14ledo81]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lihu

We're all entitled to our own opinions. Obviously, we have nothing in common.

It would just be nice if your opinion did not include the implication that those who disagree with you are bad fathers whose love for their kids is questionable.

@Lihu , FWIW, I did not get this idea from any of your posts.

[Zeph]

You can't quantify and set criterias for love.

[newtogolf]

I think we're also forgetting how much time and effort Horshel put into getting to the Tour Championship and being in a position to win it.  I don't think it was just the money that influenced his decision, but that seems to be the focus of our discussions.

[turtleback]

Agreed.

My point was more directed at @turtleback .  Would it be selfish of a father to throw away $500 to watch the birth of their child?  Where do you draw the line?

Assuming there is a point, which I really do not see, I'd say 3.25435 times my annual income.

But seriously it is an individual thing depending on a lot of factors.  Not being there at my kid's birth will have 0 effect on him, IMO.  If it is enough money that at some point it will make a difference in what I can provide for them then that amount is enough.  Giving up something that is no benefit for my kid in exchange for something that will provide a significant benefit my kid.

To me the excitement is seeing the kid for the first time.

(sorry if this ends up a double post - I saw the question directed to me too late).

[Lihu]

I think we're also forgetting how much time and effort Horshel put into getting to the Tour Championship and being in a position to win it.  I don't think it was just the money that influenced his decision, but that seems to be the focus of our discussions.

He probably had the support of his family to finish.

http://www.smh.com.au/sport/golf/how-billy-horschel-earned-more-than-rory-mcilroy-from-the-us-pga-season-20140915-10h5r1.html

http://www.golfchannel.com/news/golf-central-blog/horschel-wins-golfs-biggest-prize-tour-championship/

[turtleback]

@Lihu , FWIW, I did not get this idea from any of your posts.

Maybe it is just me.  Or maybe you missed these.

So my main question was "What kind of man would not be there by the side of his wife while she delivers their child?"

Otherwise, you might have to explain to your teenage daughter (or son) why you weren't there.

Seriously though, if the father doesn't care enough to be at the kid's birth and does other arbitrary things, I really wonder what kind of "dad" he would make? That's the main point I am making.

I think it makes a big difference to the child to know that he/she was important enough to you to be there when they were born.

[Lihu]

You seem to want to put "love" into a quantifiable figure, which is not that easy for me.

The real question is how much do you think your daughter's (or child in general) feelings are worth? 10K? 100K? 14M and the largest single prize on the Tour?

I think my daughter would also kill me for not taking 14M, but she might not feel that good about 10K. Hard to say really. I can ask her when she gets back from her school trip. My son already answered, but he has confidence in our relationship.

[Zeph]

How many in here knows if their father was present at their birth btw? Many would probably assume he was, but I can't remember the conversation having come up. If anyone should be upset with a father not being there, I'd say it would be the mother or himself.

[14ledo81]

Quote:

Originally Posted by 14ledo81

Agreed.

My point was more directed at @turtleback .  Would it be selfish of a father to throw away $500 to watch the birth of their child?  Where do you draw the line?

Assuming there is a point, which I really do not see, I'd say 3.25435 times my annual income.

But seriously it is an individual thing depending on a lot of factors.  Not being there at my kid's birth will have 0 effect on him, IMO.  If it is enough money that at some point it will make a difference in what I can provide for them then that amount is enough.  Giving up something that is no benefit for my kid in exchange for something that will provide a significant benefit my kid.

To me the excitement is seeing the kid for the first time.

(sorry if this ends up a double post - I saw the question directed to me too late).

Agreed with the bold statement.  That is why it is hard to quantify.

Also agree with the statement about seeing the child for the first time.  IMO, that means before even my wife......  Maybe I am being selfish.  It (to me) is such a wonderful time, that it would take an awful lot for me to miss it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 14ledo81

@Lihu , FWIW, I did not get this idea from any of your posts.

Maybe it is just me.  Or maybe you missed these.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lihu

So my main question was "What kind of man would not be there by the side of his wife while she delivers their child?"

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lihu

Otherwise, you might have to explain to your teenage daughter (or son) why you weren't there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lihu

Seriously though, if the father doesn't care enough to be at the kid's birth and does other arbitrary things, I really wonder what kind of "dad" he would make? That's the main point I am making.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lihu

I think it makes a big difference to the child to know that he/she was important enough to you to be there when they were born.

I did read all those.  Again, when taken in context, that was not what I gathered.

[dsc123]

You seem to want to put "love" into a quantifiable figure, which is not that easy for me.

The real question is how much do you think your daughter's (or child in general) feelings are worth? 10K? 100K? 14M and the largest single prize on the Tour?

I think my daughter would also kill me for not taking 14M, but she might not feel that good about 10K. Hard to say really. I can ask her when she gets back from her school trip. My son already answered, but he has confidence in our relationship.

Its strange that the topic is about choosing an amount of money that is multiples of your annual salary, you acknowledge that its "hard to say" what would be the right decision for as "little" as $10k, and yet when people say they would choose multiples of their salary, you question their integrity or love of their children.  I don't think you intend to be mean spirited, but I do think your responses are coming across that way.

[newtogolf]

You seem to want to put "love" into a quantifiable figure, which is not that easy for me.

The real question is how much do you think your daughter's (or child in general) feelings are worth? 10K? 100K? 14M and the largest single prize on the Tour?

I think my daughter would also kill me for not taking 14M, but she might not feel that good about 10K. Hard to say really. I can ask her when she gets back from her school trip. My son already answered, but he has confidence in our relationship.

I think there are a number of variables that you are excluding from the equation.  Financial security has different meanings for different people.  $10,000 might not seem like much to you or your daughter, but for someone who's about to lose their home, $10,000 might prevent them from being homeless.

There's no right or wrong answer, the thought that the person who'd miss the birth of their child for $100,000 loves their kid less than someone that would require $1,000,000 is ridiculous.  We all make tough decisions and do what we think is right for ourselves and our family given our own set of circumstances.

[14ledo81]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lihu

You seem to want to put "love" into a quantifiable figure, which is not that easy for me.

The real question is how much do you think your daughter's (or child in general) feelings are worth? 10K? 100K? 14M and the largest single prize on the Tour?

I think my daughter would also kill me for not taking 14M, but she might not feel that good about 10K. Hard to say really. I can ask her when she gets back from her school trip. My son already answered, but he has confidence in our relationship.

I think there are a number of variables that you are excluding from the equation.  Financial security has different meanings for different people.  $10,000 might not seem like much to you or your daughter, but for someone who's about to lose their home, $10,000 might prevent them from being homeless.

There's no right or wrong answer, the thought that the person who'd miss the birth of their child for $100,000 loves their kid less than someone that would require $1,000,000 is ridiculous.  We all make tough decisions and do what we think is right for ourselves and our family given our own set of circumstances.

Agreed.  As long as the question is worded the way it is in the OP.

If someone that has millions, misses a birth for $1,000, I think they need to get their priorities straight.