Private Club Question

[lastings]

On 5/28/2019 at 10:27 AM, Zekez said:

Since I will never have the financial resources to join a private golf club I can only state what I WOULD do if i was a member.  Personally if I invited a friend to play golf and spend the day at the club I would not ask for anything in return.  It would all be on me.  It's my pleasure.

Now I certainly understand a guest offering to pay the tip, but drinks, etc.  But no way would I allow my guest to spend money. 

Frankly I 'm a little surprised that the member would ask a guest to pay for anything if they invited the friend to play at the club.  We are allowed to do nice things without expecting retribution.

If your buddy said, "Wanna go eat at Chipotle", would you assume he's buying your burrito?     Guest fees are pretty hefty at clubs.  Him picking that up is a pretty baller move, if you ask me. 

[Double Mocha Man]

10 minutes ago, lastings said:

If your buddy said, "Wanna go eat at Chipotle", would you assume he's buying your burrito?     Guest fees are pretty hefty at clubs.  Him picking that up is a pretty baller move, if you ask me. 

Ahh, but Chipotle is not private and you don't need to be a guest of a member to get in.

[David in FL]

30 minutes ago, Double Mocha Man said:

Ahh, but Chipotle is not private and you don't need to be a guest of a member to get in.

What the heck difference does that make?

Bottom line.  If someone is generous enough to invite you to play someplace where you are not normally entitled to play, it’s simple common sense and courtesy to first thank them, and then to politely ask how much the guest fee is, and how they would like you to take care of that.  I would then ask about any dress code, and any other information that you should know so that you can be assured that you won’t inadvertently faux pas in a manner that might reflect poorly on the member.

[Tiga Tiga Woods Yall]

1 hour ago, Double Mocha Man said:

Ahh, but Chipotle is not private and you don't need to be a guest of a member to get in.

So, where did you come up with this caveat? 

[Big C]

42 minutes ago, David in FL said:

Bottom line.  If someone is generous enough to invite you to play someplace where you are not normally entitled to play, it’s simple common sense and courtesy to first thank them, and then to politely ask how much the guest fee is, and how they would like you to take care of that.  I would then ask about any dress code, and any other information that you should know so that you can be assured that you won’t inadvertently faux pas in a manner that might reflect poorly on the member.

Agree with all of this. 

And I will simply add to say that it is interesting to me how the mentality on all sides changes when you go from a public course to a private club.

As an example, if I invite a buddy out to join me for a weekend round of golf, it is assumed that we will each pay for our own rounds. There is no discussion, no debate, no surprise. That is the norm. 

But if I join a private club and I want to play with that same (non-member) buddy, the expectation seemingly becomes that I will pay for his round. There is something a little quirky about that idea, I'm not quite sure what to make of it, and I'm sure there are some country club members that resent it. 

So yeah, to avoid any misunderstandings, I basically agree with everything David said above.

[Double Mocha Man]

1 hour ago, David in FL said:

What the heck difference does that make?

Bottom line.  If someone is generous enough to invite you to play someplace where you are not normally entitled to play, it’s simple common sense and courtesy to first thank them, and then to politely ask how much the guest fee is, and how they would like you to take care of that.  I would then ask about any dress code, and any other information that you should know so that you can be assured that you won’t inadvertently faux pas in a manner that might reflect poorly on the member.

If a friend asks me if I want to go eat at Chipotle or go have a drink at Le Chat Noir I don't make the assumption anything's paid for.  

[Double Mocha Man]

David, we are not in disagreement. I would handle it the same way you describe.  And if I was the "offerer" I would lay out my expectations, diplomatically, at the outset.

[WUTiger]

On 5/27/2019 at 10:41 AM, ghalfaire said:

I suppose it is different for everyone.  Interesting reading above.  In my case the Pro shop doesn't let the guest pay, it goes on my bill.  So if I invite someone, I make sure in advance that it is understood  either I am paying or I expect to get reimbursed.  That has a lot to do with whether I invite the friend on my own or if they call and ask if I'll invite them because they would like to play the course. 

This brings up the importance of understanding the clubhouse rules at upscale clubs. Many private clubs have a rule that "no money changes hands" for food, greens fees and tips: it goes on the member's bill.

Many clubs have variations on a "no tipping" policy. All food purchases and catering events have a percentage gratuity tacked onto the bill. At the end of the month, the gratuities are divided among staff by some formula.

Locker room attendants and caddies sometimes are exceptions to the tip rule. Key thing is to ask your host what rules govern such transactions, hopefully get it covered ahead of time. 

In S. Louis, It can get silly for us muggles from semi-private courses who play district am events at private clubs. Most private clubs want us to sign for everything, which they bill back to our home course "account." But, our s-p operation doesn't maintain such accounts - you pay as you go. The workaround is our pro handles this on the side - when the upscale club bill shows up, he sends us an e-mail and we pay for it next time we play at home.

[leftybutnotPM]

On 5/26/2019 at 5:45 AM, Zekez said:

  Is this the way it is usually handled?  We both thought that when my friend was invited that meant "keep your wallet at home".  Are we mistaken in thinking that?

Thanks.

 

What a weird conversation you two had. I think the way it's "usually handled" is that the guest is grateful and thrilled to play at a course he wouldn't normally have access to and feels the tip is a small fraction of the day's cost to the person who invited him. Your friend sounds like a bit of a tight***. And you should have told him so.

[Bucki1968]

Anytime I have invited any of my buddies to my club, they have always offered to pay guest fees. More often than not, I just tell them to get the drinks/food after. I'm usually inviting them so I usually pick up the guest fees. I guess they have been around golf enough to know to tip  etc. so I don't feel like I have to tell them to do it. I'm kinda surprised by the reaction of having to tip the caddie. I guess it would never cross my mind that it wasn't my responsibility to tip my caddie. On the other hand, I grew up caddying at a private club so I guess I learned it that way. 

[David in FL]

7 minutes ago, Bucki1968 said:

I grew up caddying at a private club

Me too.  But back then, $5 was a big tip!   

[Zekez]

8 hours ago, leftybutnotPM said:

What a weird conversation you two had. I think the way it's "usually handled" is that the guest is grateful and thrilled to play at a course he wouldn't normally have access to and feels the tip is a small fraction of the day's cost to the person who invited him. Your friend sounds like a bit of a tight***. And you should have told him so.

See my post above regarding this.

15 hours ago, David in FL said:

What the heck difference does that make?

Bottom line.  If someone is generous enough to invite you to play someplace where you are not normally entitled to play, it’s simple common sense and courtesy to first thank them, and then to politely ask how much the guest fee is, and how they would like you to take care of that.  I would then ask about any dress code, and any other information that you should know so that you can be assured that you won’t inadvertently faux pas in a manner that might reflect poorly on the member.

Of course it is courteous to check on any and all expectations.  Where I seem to disagree with most of you is that if i was fortunate enough to belong to a private club I would in  no way shape or form expect my guest to pay for anything.  And I would refuse any offer they made. C'est la Vie.

14 hours ago, Big C said:

Agree with all of this. 

And I will simply add to say that it is interesting to me how the mentality on all sides changes when you go from a public course to a private club.

As an example, if I invite a buddy out to join me for a weekend round of golf, it is assumed that we will each pay for our own rounds. There is no discussion, no debate, no surprise. That is the norm. 

But if I join a private club and I want to play with that same (non-member) buddy, the expectation seemingly becomes that I will pay for his round. There is something a little quirky about that idea, I'm not quite sure what to make of it, and I'm sure there are some country club members that resent it. 

So yeah, to avoid any misunderstandings, I basically agree with everything David said above.

I think the difference lies in the assumption (possibly wrong) that someone who belongs to a private club is wealthy enough to afford providing a round of golf to a friend that said friend could never afford.  That's what friends are for after all!

[Groucho Valentine]

Yeah, having a guest tip the caddy isn't unusual. When i was a member of private clubs i usually asked my guests to do the same. They weren't paying for the round or anything else, so it seemed fair i guess. When we walked and carried our own bags (which is my preference anyway) my guests never had to take out their wallets unless it was to pay up for all the bets they lost. 

[David in FL]

10 minutes ago, Zekez said:

 

  Where I seem to disagree with most of you is that if i was fortunate enough to belong to a private club I would in  no way shape or form expect my guest to pay for anything.  And I would refuse any offer they made. C'est la Vie.

 

Certainly your prerogative.

Of course, it’s easy to make blanket statements like that when you haven’t actually experienced the wide variety of unique situations that can actually arise.  

 

[IowaGreg]

I always assume that I pay unless told otherwise.  

But then at the local private club, my brother is a member, so I get the family discount.....  LOL

Edited May 30, 2019 by IowaGreg
adding stuff

[David in FL]

22 minutes ago, Zekez said:

I think the difference lies in the assumption (possibly wrong) that someone who belongs to a private club is wealthy enough to afford providing a round of golf to a friend that said friend could never afford.  That's what friends are for after all!

That assumption can be completely wrong.  Not every wealthy person is a member at a club, and, not every club member is wealthy.  Many simply prioritize it in their lives, for whatever personal reason.

There are also a lot of times when guests aren’t even personal friends at all.  Again, a wide range of circumstances can lead to an invite to play at a club.

[Foot Wedge]

On 5/25/2019 at 3:45 PM, Zekez said:

We both thought that when my friend was invited that meant "keep your wallet at home".

If I'm told to keep my wallet at home, I'm damn sure still bringing my wallet.  But that's because if I didn't, the Catholic guilt will quite literally melt my body from the inside out...

[Zekez]

6 hours ago, David in FL said:

Certainly your prerogative.

Of course, it’s easy to make blanket statements like that when you haven’t actually experienced the wide variety of unique situations that can actually arise.  

 

Well life is full of uniques experiences isn't it?  That's what makes it so much fun!