Guy Invites Girlfriend to "Guy Tee Time" - What to Do?

[Gonzo186]

First post from me so please be kind. 

I've arranged to play with a friend tomorrow evening, this has been organised for around a week now and suddenly out of nowhere he springs it on me that he's invited his girlfriend to play. Now we're not brilliant golfers but know the basics and fundamentals and she's played the game once in her life. To add a bit of context, I've spent the whole of lock down with my kids and fiance and while I love them all dearly I've been really craving some 'guy time' and was really looking forward to getting out there. 

Am I right to be a bit annoyed about this or do I need to get over it and stop being a d**k? 

[bkuehn1952]

3 hours ago, Gonzo186 said:

First post from me so please be kind. 

I've arranged to play with a friend tomorrow evening, this has been organised for around a week now and suddenly out of nowhere he springs it on me that he's invited his girlfriend to play. Now we're not brilliant golfers but know the basics and fundamentals and she's played the game once in her life. To add a bit of context, I've spent the whole of lock down with my kids and fiance and while I love them all dearly I've been really craving some 'guy time' and was really looking forward to getting out there. 

Am I right to be a bit annoyed about this or do I need to get over it and stop being a d**k? 

I might be irritated for a bit and then forget it.  Your friend arranged the round so it is his prerogative to make the group.  Next time you should arrange the tee time and invite who you want.

Edited June 16, 2020 by bkuehn1952

[SimonAitch]

Id be annoyed, not just that he's invited a 3rd person to join you w/out asking but also that person doesn't know anything about the game. There are times and places for beginners on the course and to my mind this ain't one of them.

[iacas]

That's not cool. I get that he made the tee time, but you've gotta talk about who you're inviting earlier on. You can't spring people on other people.

[Double Mocha Man]

Good point.  Sometimes my usual foursome ends up being a threesome.  No prob.  Then I'll think about inviting a fourth... but before I do I always ask... and outline the biography of the person I'd like to invite.  100% of the time my foursome guys totally enjoy the new guy and ask me to invite him again.  To me it's just etiquette (not golf etiquette) to ask first.

[dennyjones]

I'd play and be social but... (reformed curmudgeon)

the next time, either I'd make the tee time and select the people or find someone different altogether.   I'm in complete agreement with @iacas and @Double Mocha Man.  

We currently have a group of three.   Our fourth has ghosted us!   (maybe I'm not reformed)  We rotate in 3 different guys for the fourth but we all agree on the choice before making a call to ask.  

[BC-to-MI]

Yeah, as others have said, I would definitely make sure I ran it by everyone else before I invited someone to a tee time, especially if they are a new golfer. That said, I wouldn't make a big deal out of it this time. Just focus on your game, enjoy the round, and try not to let it bother you.

[Double Mocha Man]

4 hours ago, Gonzo186 said:

First post from me so please be kind. 

I've arranged to play with a friend tomorrow evening, this has been organised for around a week now and suddenly out of nowhere he springs it on me that he's invited his girlfriend to play. Now we're not brilliant golfers but know the basics and fundamentals and she's played the game once in her life. To add a bit of context, I've spent the whole of lock down with my kids and fiance and while I love them all dearly I've been really craving some 'guy time' and was really looking forward to getting out there. 

Am I right to be a bit annoyed about this or do I need to get over it and stop being a d**k? 

Try to steal his girlfriend from him.  He'll never do that again...

[Cantankerish]

22 minutes ago, Double Mocha Man said:

Try to steal his girlfriend from him.  He'll never do that again...

Double Mocha Man is always the devil on your shoulder. 

[dennyjones]

27 minutes ago, Double Mocha Man said:

Try to steal his girlfriend from him.  He'll never do that again...

Made me laugh.

 

4 minutes ago, Cantankerish said:

Double Mocha Man is always the devil on your shoulder. 

that's the truth!  🤪

Edited June 17, 2020 by dennyjones

[Mr22putt]

9 hours ago, Gonzo186 said:

First post from me so please be kind. 

I've arranged to play with a friend tomorrow evening, this has been organised for around a week now and suddenly out of nowhere he springs it on me that he's invited his girlfriend to play. Now we're not brilliant golfers but know the basics and fundamentals and she's played the game once in her life. To add a bit of context, I've spent the whole of lock down with my kids and fiance and while I love them all dearly I've been really craving some 'guy time' and was really looking forward to getting out there. 

Am I right to be a bit annoyed about this or do I need to get over it and stop being a d**k? 

Sounds like you made the tee time...so wouldn't your friend normally call you to see if there's room in the tee slot...unless he called the course and found out no one has been paired up in your 2some and made an addition.

For me....I couldn't care less if any of my friends invited their wives or GF unannounced....it's your friend....it might be a bit annoying on pace of play if she's only golfed once...but just go with it...again it's your friend....if she's really slow....just advise her to pick up her ball at times to avoid undue delay and respect for the groups behind you.

If it's so important to have 'guy time'....go for a social distance beer with your friend soon.

Or be a d*ck to your friend's GF and she'll never want to play golf with you ever again...problem solved.

5 hours ago, Double Mocha Man said:

Try to steal his girlfriend from him.  He'll never do that again...

Would you still offer the same advice if the GF is ugly?...just askin for a friend.

But if she's a SMOKESHOW...I'd always make sure she's invited...just sayin.

[Papa Steve 55]

You can be annoyed. But if he's a friend you value, I suggest you just move on. Maybe at the end of the day, you'll have 2 friends.

[lastings]

I think the bigger issue here is not that she is a girl or that she's his girlfriend.   It's that she's only played once.   The whole round is going to be about trying and failing to show her how to hit a ball, and saying "way to go" when she bunts it forward 20 yards.   not really a round of golf anymore.  

And this is coming from someone that happily plays with 20+ handicappers all the time.   I could care less if you are good or not.   As long as you can swing a golf club and keep pace, it's all good with me.   Unfortunately, she will not be able to do that.   

 

 

 

[ERRANDWOLFE225]

Nothing wrong with a good ole threesome every now and then, as long as you know in advance. Had a buddy bring his girl unannounced a few weeks ago and we already had 4, that was awkward....