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Whats your favorite golf slang term or saying..


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"Nice "elephant ass shot ....HIGH AND STINKY!!!!" -when they pop their driver up high

My dad, when I was younger and couldn't get out of the sand used to stand by the bunker and yell "STRIKE 1! ....STRIKE 2!!!.... every time I didn't pitch out.....i would get sooooo mad, but would be laughing so hard.....uuuuughhh.
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Back in College I heard Phil Mickelson had a tour nickname:

FIGJAM (f*ck I'm good, Just Ask Me)


"The harshest words a man can say, grab your putter, you're still away"

"Hit a house" (regarding a hard hit putt or a bad drive)

My dad uses this one often regarding a popup drive

"Don't touch it Lord, it's a 2 stroke penalty"

"Did your panties get in the way" regarding a putt left short "Did your purse get in the way regarding a putt left short

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"Nothing sweeter in golf than the well executed layup"

usually said when someone can reach a par five on their second shot but elects for the lay up.
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Holy Cow!! I can't believe I just read all 21 pages of this thread! Some great stuff in here.

Some sayings in my groups..

Is your p#ssy sore? ... leaving a putt short
A variation on the sister-in-law... "that's like f'ing your sister-in-law" - its all the way up there, but your not proud of it.
When hitting a low line drive off the tee, a friend of mine will scream "Run like you stole a chicken!!"

"She had it in her mouth and then her dad walked in" ... My all time favorite, for a putt that lips out after doing the full 180 around the cup
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good thread idea

a few i've used this year, my first serious golf in 20 years

SO BAD IT'S GOOD - rather self-explanatory. e.g. a slice so bad you're sweet in the other fairway, a skulled sand shot that skyrockets over the lip and lands close to the hole, a really pulled putt that goes in the hole cuz you're as bad at reading greens as you are at putting. sort of like 2 or 3 wrongs making a right.

JENNY CRAIG [swing] - hit it fat, then thin, then fat, then thin, etc

FATTY McFATS-A-LOT - you constantly hitting fat when you know better

[AHHH] F**K S**T P*SS D*MN H*LL - this is stolen from another golfer. Instead of swearing loudly or otherwise acting out after a poor result, say the five magic words very quickly and rather softly, conversationally, in an "oh well" + disappointed-again fashion. If you are known as a hothead a-hole, this juuuust might work for you to upgrade from "PSYCHO-BABOON" to merely "ANNOYING." It'll likely take some practice.

OH GOOD IDEA - SNEAK UP ON IT - This is a variation of the Alice putt. His 20-foot putt is 7 feet short, and so you validate his putt. "Oh good idea, dude, sneak up on it." Like that's the smart play, lay up really short on the putt and maybe the hole will let its guard down and he might accidentally make the 7-footer. In fact, he should probably lag the 7-footer to guarantee the 3-putt, cuz of how he's putting. Just get it close; baby steps, that's the thinking, don't get greedy. And the thing is, with tricky greens and no confidence, ninja-putting might actually be the way to go sometimes. The problem is so many golfers take this comment the wrong way! I'm just trying to help--really! I'm on your side bro!

crap i just had another one but i forgot
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Golf buddy hits a great shot that gets a really cruel bounce: "Wow you suck!"

Buddy's putt agonizingly crawls all the way around the cup: "Holy crap, did you see that? How the hell did that stay out? I you putted that fifty times, I bet 49 would drop! That must really hurt!"

Like they say, if you can't kick a man when he's down, you'll never kick him when he's standing up.

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Awards, Achievements, and Accolades

My dad always says "well son, somtimes you just have to take your medicine."
When him or I are in the trees, with no way to get over, and have to punch out back onto the fairway. Cracks me up everytime, as I go for my impossible flop shot over a huge tree!
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I played today with a married couple who were in their mid-60's. She used to teach school and said she never used cuss words because she didn't want to slip up in the class room. She duffed a shot and said "Ain't that a tutti frutti". Her husband translated : Ain't that a mother fu....
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My friend turned around to us just before he pulled the trigger on his first drive and said with a smile "I'm going to do to this ball what I did to my girlfriend last night" I took the bait and asked him what that was?" He said he was going to drill it long and hard" I'm sure the laughter was heard all over the course.

When someone bangs one out of bounds, make the sound of a pump action shot gun (chick,chick) to indicate he will have to relode.
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Great posts...going to have to use a few of these...here's a few a friend and I use:

Early Christmas Present- A poorly hit shot that ends up under a tree (usually a pine tree).

Abducted by Aliens- "It looks good, it looks long, it looks straight....it loo...where the hell is it!?"

"That's why they're sold by the dozen"- Said after losing a ball.

"Heeeeee shoots and scooooores!" - After sinking a really good putt, said in the voice of Mike Lange (Pittsburgh Penguins radio announcer)

"Juuuust a bit outside" - after a hook or slice, said in the voice of Bob Eucker
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