Solo Golfers--Partners Affecting your Game?

[TheGolfingDetective]

This is for the golfers, who, like me, take quite a few loops by yourselves, and you get matched up at the first tee with the odd twosome, or threesome. I love going out as often as my schedule allows me, and that often means without my friends, who sometimes work conflicting hours. I've found lately that my round is GREATLY affected by who I go out with.

Today, for instance, went out with a 62 year old attorney who I never met before, but is VERY into the game. I shot well (for me), and finished with a 95. We had a blast walking the course and just approaching the game as golfers, discussing shot options, putting lines, etc...

About two weeks ago, I get matched up with three seniors (and I have a HUGE soft spot for older folks), and it was a nightmare. They consistently drove the cart to the EDGE OF THE GREEN. ON EVERY HOLE. Never marked a ball, always stood right behind their ball, even when I was putting. And, although I know this makes me the a***ole, the elder of the three couldn't swing above hip level, making every shot an exaggerated chip, yet he still played the same tees as everyone else. I mean, God bless him for being able to do this at his age (seventy plus), but when you're hitting 8 from 100 yards out on a 475 yard par five, you need to think about using the seniors tees. Shot a 107 that day.

I've found this to be pretty consistent on the rounds I play without my friends. Get paired up with people who want to get better and work at it, and I play better. Get paired up with golfers even worse than I, or are inconsiderate jerks, and I play poorly.

Anyone else experiencing this?

[GaijinGolfer]

I find that I play worse when I play with other people because I get nervous. When I play alone, I dont worry about if I screw up because no one is going to really see it.
Its something Im learning to get over.
As I play more and more and get more confidence in my game, Im realizing that as much as I think I suck at golf, theres a lot of people out there who are way worse than I am.

[meenman]

I am all over the place when getting paired up. Sometimes it helps because with strangers around my wife is less likely to show her aggravation when she starts out poorly.

I definitely play better when better players are around and worse when paired with extremely slow people.

[Jordasch]

  TitleistWI said:

I find that I play worse when I play with other people because I get nervous. When I play alone, I dont worry about if I screw up because no one is going to really see it.

+1. I play amazingly alone, or with my best friend because there isnt any need to impress him, and I already am confident with my game. But when its with my dad, or grandfather, its like somewhere deep down I have to impress them, even if Im not trying to. Im trying to get over it... not sooo easy.

[iQuest Golfer]

It happens all the time in all sports. You generally play to the level of those you play with. It's a mind thing.

A month ago I tried to get in a quick 9 at the club in the evening. After 5pm and closer to 7pm the course is usually empty. With no warmup off the first tee, I crank a perfect down-the-middle drive that left me 125y from the middle of the green. 9-iron leaves me 8-feet from the stick and I drill the birdie. Wow! Life is sweet...

Number 2, Par-5, another sweet driver followed up with a 3W that leaves me 50y off the green. Missed a wedge but recovered and tapped in for the par.
Hey, might be the day for a PB (personal best).

Number 3, Par-3, 189y. Hybrid placed the ball in the center of the green, 6-feet from the pin. Pulled the pin and proceeded to bury the ball into the center of the cup. 2-under through three holes. Is this golf or what? I'm in la-la land. Never have I put those numbers up. I'm thinking Shiva Irons is watching over me and this is the round. This is the day my head and heart come together and body follows. I am in the flow!

Fourth hole I catch up with an old business colleague and his 8-year old son. They were waiting for me. He comments on the nice birdie. Can you guess what happens? Total meltdown... no more flow. Rhythm, pace, mind gone!
I didn't have the sense to tell him I was in a hurry and needed to play through and we'd get together soon. I stayed and "did the social thing."

It took me a couple weeks to get over that day... well, it's still in the back of my mind. OK... It haunts me. I've done the same thing with seniors, league matches. That's why golf is such a mental game. You can only learn to control your game by playing with others. BUT... if it's really going south, you need to get out of the situation and not suffer a complete mental breakdown.

Good Luck!

[eberryhill7]

I have two friends that I play with a lot, one is about a 10 handicap and the other is about a 36 handicap. When I play with the 10 I play the best that I ever play. I am always around his score, within one stroke on the 18 hole, but with the 36 I always play terribly! He's just there to have fun so I lose focus on the round and start to shoot terribly. They both have their place. I really enjoy both, because with the 10 it's really fun to play well, but with the 36 is really fun just to hack it around. So I play worse when I'm with bad players, but that's not always a bad thing!

[golf_junkie27]

Jason,

I experienced the same things when I first started golfing. I realized, through speaking with others, that my thought process was affecting both my approach and shot selection.

Ex-I played at Sprain Lake one day with a guy that had to take at least 10 shots on a Par 4. I stood there, watching, and saying "Pick up the damn ball, let's go." I was angry and frustrated. Guess what happened? I topped my ball, then being upset, tried to calm down and resulted in puring an iron shot over the green and making a huge number. Does that sound familiar?

Point being, don't think about what they're doing. Worry about you. The beauty of golf is that it's all about you. No one else should influence you on the course.

[MunkeyGolfer]

I get affected by pairing up also. I think for me it is a more of an aggravation level of mine that hurts my game. I was paired up with a kid that had no etiquette at all and the more frustrated I got with him, the worse my game got. When I go with people who know the game (Doesn't even have to play better than me), I play better. Keep my frustration/aggravation down and I play some of my best rounds

[cart_racr]

I play poorly with strangers for one simple reason....putting. I like to take my time, mark and clean my ball, read my putts, etc. That is where the scoring happens and I am trying to focus on improving my putting. It seems that to almost everybody I play with (except my two normal playing buddies that are just like me), golf is about hitting the ball as hard as they can and watching it fly through the air. When they get on the green...the hole is over. They tap it around a few times and then pick it up once it gets within a couple feet.

I just makes me very uncomfortable on the greens.

[Harold]

Since I head out solo about 99% of the time I have met a great cross section of people on the course and very little bothers me when it comes to the type of golfer and if it affects my game. Generally the only zHoles I have met have been the intoxicated ones or the ones that have a cell phone implanted on the side of their face. Sometimes the chattier golfers tend to be a bit distracting but usually everyone gets the "routine" down after the first few holes and play tends to get smooth past that. That's part of the deal when you go out as a single: You never know what you are going to get. I do tend to play more consistently and better when golfing with others. I am more on the extreme ends when I am playing on my own.

[Mr.Buckethead]

I can empathize with a lot people in this thread. I play by myself a lot during the summer time. I usually go out 3 times during the week and knock 18 out by myself in 2 hrs and 15 minutes.

As previously mentioned, I play up to the people I am paired with or play down. I played in a tournament this weekend and had to ride with a jackace the first day that talked incessantly. He had a running commentary on everything. We weren't a good combo since I rarely talk at all when golfing. He frustrated the hell out of me. I had hoped to not be in the same foursome with him the next day but we ended up together again. I should have walked but thought it might be rude. Played horrible and just wanted the round to end. Now I know that if in the same situation I should just walk.


The other problem I have encountered with playing alone is that getting 18 in in 2+ hours can bring problems of its own. When I play with my regular foursome I sometimes find myself mentally checking out around the 2 hour mark. Not a good thing when you are only on the 9th hole.

[JonnyGolf]

My game goes south when the folks I'm with play slow. Then, I hurry my routine to help catch up. Drives me crazy. But, I realize that this is my problem, not their problem. Not my issue if the group I'm in is playing slow. I'm not the one taking 8 strokes per hole and spending time looking for a lost Top-Flite.

[golf hungry]

I am just the opposite. I like to perform for the strangers that I am paired up with! What's the fun of a par or birdie run if it's just you there?

[LottaBalata]

I also hit the course a lot by myself, mostly due to the fact that I work nights--play in the afternoon. My golfin buddies either get up early or generally work a regular shift. So, I play more than a few rounds with people I don't know.

I think the worst thing I encounter is getting matched up with someone who smokes. I've endured it a couple times this season already. I think the next time I'm grouped with someone who smokes I'm just going to have to break from the group. I'm asthmatic, and would like FRESH air while golfing.

Over the weekend, I played 9 out of 18 with a father-son group and sister chauffer. Once the son realize there was more than one ball in a pine tree, he had to stop 3 or 4 times to try and find more. If he were 10, I'm guessing the father would have seen it early and extinguished it. But he was a COLLEGE grad. I really had to shake my head a couple times in amazement.

I've also been grouped with people who didn't do much repairing of marks or replacing divots. After I'd fix their ball marks a couple times, they'd start fixing them and say "Man, I always forget that." Or I'd grab a divot after a shot, hand it to them and say, "Great shot!" That's always fun.

I've not been grouped with anyone that I couldn't endure for 9 or 18.

[Slim 11]

I used to play very much to the level of my playing partner. I would shoot great by myself or with better players (not always, but usually). For the longest time my brother-in-law was my nemisis. I have been fluctuating between 12-14 handicap the past couple years and he is probably around a 25. Whenever we played together, I would shoot my worst. Usually finishing within a couple strokes of his score. I realized I was too concerned with beating him and wasn't just playing my game. It was screwing up my head.

If he hit a bad shot I would think, "Well, that gives me some breathing room" and then I would lose focus and also hit a crappy shot. Or I would be thinking I needed to make a good shot to put pressure on him and that would screw me up.

Finally, this year, I seem to have overcome the issue. I play my game, regardless of his. I try to root for him and encourage him. I am of the mindset that it doesn't matter if I have the best score, as long as I am not beating myself. I still want to have the best score, but that takes care of itself if I just concentrate on my game.

[Vintage]

I went with a friend about a month ago....and we got matched up with a random 3rd. I always get nervous when this sort of stuff happens, and I play worse.

However, this guy was pretty cool. He talked to us.... he joked with us... he was an ideal person to get randomly matched up with.

I think he missed two fairways all day. That was pretty intimidating.

[iQuest Golfer]

  LottaBalata said:

Once the son realize there was more than one ball in a pine tree, he had to stop 3 or 4 times to try and find more. If he were 10, I'm guessing the father would have seen it early and extinguished it. But he was a COLLEGE grad. I really had to shake my head a couple times in amazement.

I hate golfers who try to double as ball retrievers spending more time hunting balls than playing golf.

[iacas]

I've gotten better about playing with partners lately. The trick is not to let their swing rhythms (or their idiosyncrasies) affect your swing.

I've had to get better about playing with people lately - my Tuesday game is with a bunch of 65-year-old 24 handicappers. I figure if I can shoot 72 with them, I can play with just about anyone.