Stage Fright and suggestions to over come it?

[jamo]

I used to worry about what other people thought of me until I realized how little time they did spend thinking of me.

This has been big for me. I heard a quote once (I believe it was Eleanor Roosevelt), “You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” In the end, none of it really matters. We're all out there hitting a white ball between gaps in the trees. Being good at it doesn't get you brownie points in life, and no one is going to think less of you if you suck.

[lipout]

I suggest the first step is to think in terms of this being a 100% normal reaction to added pressure in golf.  I get it, I see it on TV and I see it with people I play with.  What "it" is, is your thinking brain going into overload because you are thinking about all sorts of stuff that does not enter your head when you practice.  Most of it is fear based.  Fear of embarrassing yourself, fear of looking bad to others, fear of losing.  The heart pumps, the adrenaline rushes, you rush your routine, you rush your stroke, you name it.

Here is my estimate of the effect:  if you take 10 practice round scores and average the best 3, then it is perfectly normal for your score under pressure to be 5-10 % higher.  In my case my average of the best 3 practice rounds might be 4 or 5 over par (I play off 8) so call that 75.  If I were playing in the club championship, then I could add 4-8 shots to that score easily.  IMO that is 100% normal and why golf is seen as such a "mental" game.

The first way to reduce the effect is simply experience:  the more times you put yourself in pressure situations, the less fear you get.

The next step might be to go past your fear threshold.  Lets say you want to play well in the league, can you find any games that are more scary than the league?  Play in those, then when you play in the league, it won't seem nearly as scary.

Beyond that, we are in the realm of trying to direct your thinking away from all the fearful thoughts and into something more positive.  Bob Rotella has a lot of books out on this, I suggest you only need one of them because they all seem to say more or less the same thing.  My personal favourite, though it won't appeal to many people, is "Zen Golf".

Having studied all of these books, I will give you my personal takeway.  I have 4 questions that I like to ask myself as I play

1:  Between shots, the question is: "am I present?"

2:  As I appraoch the ball, the question is: "what is the smartest shot I can play in this situation?"

3:  As I settle  into the shot, the question is: "what is the best mindset I can play this shot with?"

4:  Finally, after the shot: "did I accept the shot?"

These questions are my personal interpretation and distillation of the various mental game books I have.

Question 1 tries to stop you thinking about the past (that last 3 putt) or the future (what will my score be).  Anger tends to be associated with the past and anxiety with the future.  To get into the present, look around, look at the scenery, chat to your buddies, anything to be in the moment so that you can stop your thinking brain getting angry or anxious.

Question 2 tries to get you to play smart golf rather than hit dumb shots.  Smart shots are those you have a good chance to pull off and that take into account course management.  The more angry or anxious you are, the dumber you get, so asking this question pulls your thinking brain onto a positive topic.

Question 3 is all about calming down even more, thinking about even less.  Your best mindset will have, perhaps, 1 swing thought and you will focus on the ball (or your aim point).  This is mental setup for the shot, if you like.  You can set up grip, posture, stance, ball position etc, but if your mind is thinking about all sorts of stuff, you are not mentally set up.

Question 4 is all about dealing with your reaction to the shot.  You will duff some, miss some, have bad breaks and so on.  Acceptance, rather than anger or frustration is the key.  If you go off in a club throwing tantrum or get down on yourself after a poor outcome, it just makes the next shot harder.  One of the keys to golf is simply accepting what happens as being part of the game and then go and find it.

If you are not sure what I mean by "thinking brain" it simply is my interpretation of the idea that the brain has different sections or levels.  Some parts keep you breathing, some allow you to walk or hit balls, and other parts - the thinking parts - worry about stuff or get angry.  The thinking parts are the parts that give you "stage fright".

[ev780]

Wait a minute.  Your post is not really clear.  Are you nervous?  Do you feel nervous?  Or is your game just suffering?  Two different things.

One is your afraid for whatever reason, the other is simply about focus.  Answer honestly then you will know what you are dealing with.

[Stretch]

I am playing medal tomorrow with our director of golf (former European Tour player) and two of the other club pros, both plus handicaps. My sphincter is going to be the size of a pinhead on the first tee. We'll see how those mental exercises hold up!

[Shorty]

Originally Posted by lipout

Having studied all of these books, I will give you my personal takeway.  I have 4 questions that I like to ask myself as I play

1:  Between shots, the question is: "am I present?"

2:  As I appraoch the ball, the question is: "what is the smartest shot I can play in this situation?"

3:  As I settle  into the shot, the question is: "what is the best mindset I can play this shot with?"

4:  Finally, after the shot: "did I accept the shot?"

I say you're complicating it.

You don't ask yourself any questions.

This is what we should do (but it's hard)

Hit the smartest shot.

Accept the result.

Repeat.

[MbolicGolf]

Originally Posted by Stretch

I am playing medal tomorrow with our director of golf (former European Tour player) and two of the other club pros, both plus handicaps. My sphincter is going to be the size of a pinhead on the first tee. We'll see how those mental exercises hold up!

May the force me with you.

[MbolicGolf]

Originally Posted by ev780

Wait a minute.  Your post is not really clear.  Are you nervous?  Do you feel nervous?  Or is your game just suffering?  Two different things.

One is your afraid for whatever reason, the other is simply about focus.  Answer honestly then you will know what you are dealing with.

I feel nervous and my swing falls apart when I play with others. I'm talking moments after solo practice not days or hours.

[newtogolf]

I think it's normal to feel nervous when you are lacking confidence about your game and playing in a group.  I have found the more rounds I play in a group the less my nerves are an issue.  I still tense up a bit with strangers, but even that isn't any where near as bad as it was when I first started.

[bplewis24]

Originally Posted by lipout

1:  Between shots, the question is: "am I present?"

2:  As I appraoch the ball, the question is: "what is the smartest shot I can play in this situation?"

3:  As I settle  into the shot, the question is: "what is the best mindset I can play this shot with?"

4:  Finally, after the shot: "did I accept the shot?"

1 and 4 seem superfluous, and I don't really understand what you're asking yourself in #1.  Care to explain?

Brandon

[Gresh24]

Originally Posted by bplewis24

1 and 4 seem superfluous, and I don't really understand what you're asking yourself in #1.  Care to explain?

Brandon

Originally Posted by lipout

Question 1 tries to stop you thinking about the past (that last 3 putt) or the future (what will my score be).  Anger tends to be associated with the past and anxiety with the future.  To get into the present, look around, look at the scenery, chat to your buddies, anything to be in the moment so that you can stop your thinking brain getting angry or anxious.

[Elvisliveson]

I remember on an episode of the Brady Bunch, they said to just picture everyone around you in their underwear.

[bunkerputt]

This is really pretty simple:  get good.  Get good where you know you are good and you really are.  Have you ever been in school where you had a test the next day that you'd put off studying for, didn't really know the material well, but needed to pass?  How does that feel compared to when you know the material backwards and forwards and could do it with your eyes closed?  I used to think I had "test anxiety" until I realized it was because I really didn't understand or practice enough with the material.  Golf is an exercise in habit formation.  A habit is something that is easier to do than not to do.  When you develop the habit of a great golf swing, (I'm inferring because I'm not really there yet), it's easier to hit the ball where you want than not.

[bplewis24]

Originally Posted by Gresh24

You busted me.  I didn't read all of his post.  But in a stand-alone sense, if he would have worded it "am I in the present," I would have been able to tell what he meant.

Originally Posted by bunkerputt

This is really pretty simple:  get good.  Get good where you know you are good and you really are

This was basically my opinion on the matter from the very first post.

Brandon

[ev780]

Originally Posted by MbolicGolf

I feel nervous and my swing falls apart when I play with others. I'm talking moments after solo practice not days or hours.

OK.   Happens.  Lots of good advice here.  I am not a psychologist and I hate Holiday Inn Express but I will offer my 2 cents.

Golf is a game.  Pressure is getting to work everyday so you can cover the mortgage.  Pressure is finding a way to feed your kids. There is nothing aout golf that compares to anything we all have to deal with on a regular basis.  Enjoy it and realize that the people who are watching you swing will forget about it 20 seconds after its done.