Jump to content
IGNORED

The Internet Adjustment Formula

Slice of Life

By Slice of Life,
in Golf Talk

 Share
Note: This thread is 3889 days old. We appreciate that you found this thread instead of starting a new one, but if you plan to post here please make sure it's still relevant. If not, please start a new topic. Thank you!

Recommended Posts

cipher Super Member

cipher

315.925 yds! Everyone should make sure they follow the correct order to solve the problem Solve all equations in parenthesis All multiplication/division left to right All addition/ subtraction left to right

I did not have any issues with the math myself...

Nate

:pxg:(10.5) :benhogan:(4W):titleist:U500(3UI) :benhogan: Icon(4-PW) :edel:(52/58)

:odyssey:Putter :snell: MTB Black  

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Awards, Achievements, and Accolades
1
1
1
1
1
1

nick1998bunker Great Member

nick1998bunker

C[quote name="cipher" url="/t/69746/the-internet-adjustment-formula#post_892279"] I did not have any issues with the math myself...[/quote] congratulations! I was worried some folks may have forgotten as a lot of them probably haven't been in school for 60 years. Also what does the E in eps stand for?
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pretzel Super Member

Pretzel

C congratulations! I was worried some folks may have forgotten as a lot of them probably haven't been in school for 60 years. Also what does the E in eps stand for?

It basically is a measure of how full of yourself you are on the Internet. Also, 60 years? That's exaggerating a wee bit, don't you think?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Awards, Achievements, and Accolades
1
1
1

  • Moderator
boogielicious Incredible Member

boogielicious

  • Moderator

OMFG I DIDN'T SEE THAT UNTIL NOW.

HAHAHAHA, literally just belly laughed by myself in my living room. I can't take credit for it, it's gotta be Erik's doing. And it's absolutely staying.

You've been forum "Punked"!

Scott

Titleist, Edel, Scotty Cameron Putter, Snell - AimPoint - Evolvr - MirrorVision

My Swing Thread

boogielicious - Adjective describing the perfect surf wave

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Awards, Achievements, and Accolades
1
1
1
1
1
1

Slice of Life Great Member

Slice of Life

  • Author

C

congratulations! I was worried some folks may have forgotten as a lot of them probably haven't been in school for 60 years. Also what does the E in eps stand for?

EPS stands for Electronic Penis Size, which is also known as the DDL, Digital Dong Length. It refers to the length of one's internet peen.

Ryan M
 
The Internet Adjustment Formula:
IAD = ( [ADD] * .96 + [EPS] * [1/.12] ) / (1.15)
 
IAD = Internet Adjusted Distance (in yards)
ADD = Actual Driver Distance (in yards)
EPS = E-Penis Size (in inches)
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Awards, Achievements, and Accolades
1
1
1
1
1

Slice of Life Great Member

Slice of Life

  • Author

How about a formula for claimed putts per round. Everyone shoots a respectable score, but couldn't putt to save their life!

Haven't thought about that one...

I don't think that's exaggerated enough to warrant a formula. I think people really do suck at putting...I see it first hand on a weekly basis.

God knows I've seen waaaaay more 4 putts than I have 350 yard drives.

Ryan M
 
The Internet Adjustment Formula:
IAD = ( [ADD] * .96 + [EPS] * [1/.12] ) / (1.15)
 
IAD = Internet Adjusted Distance (in yards)
ADD = Actual Driver Distance (in yards)
EPS = E-Penis Size (in inches)
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Awards, Achievements, and Accolades
1
1
1
1
1

Slice of Life Great Member

Slice of Life

  • Author
Idk, tiger woods is perennially a top putter, and he frequently blames his score on "missed opportunities"

I mean, we could determine a formula for what your score would be if you putted well based on the EPS. The larger the EPS, the more likely you would be to blame putting...since you always drive it 330 straight down the middle.

I'm thinking something like this:

IAS = Internet Adjusted Score (What you would score if you could putt well)

AS = Actual Score

EPS = E-Penis Size

IAS = ( [ AS ] * .96 + [ 221.616 * ( 1 / EPS ) ] ) / (1.5)

So, let's say for with an actual score of 87, and an EPS of 12", your internet adjusted score would actually be rounded up to a 68. Not bad, you just broke par, and saved 19 strokes due to better putting!

But with an actual score of 87, and an EPS of 5.7", your internet adjusted score would go to an 82. Which means with better putting you could have saved 5 strokes.

I haven't checked all the math to make sure this is valid, but it's just a rough draft.

Ryan M
 
The Internet Adjustment Formula:
IAD = ( [ADD] * .96 + [EPS] * [1/.12] ) / (1.15)
 
IAD = Internet Adjusted Distance (in yards)
ADD = Actual Driver Distance (in yards)
EPS = E-Penis Size (in inches)
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Awards, Achievements, and Accolades
1
1
1
1
1

Slice of Life Great Member

Slice of Life

  • Author

BTW, to make for easier calculations, I've simplified the algebra.

To find your Internet Adjusted Distance (IAD), you can use the formula: 

 IAD = ( 0.834783 * ADD ) + ( 7.24638 * EPS )

And to find your Internet Adjusted Score (IAS), you can use the formula: 

 IAS = ( 0.64 * AS ) + ( 147.744 / EPS )
Ryan M
 
The Internet Adjustment Formula:
IAD = ( [ADD] * .96 + [EPS] * [1/.12] ) / (1.15)
 
IAD = Internet Adjusted Distance (in yards)
ADD = Actual Driver Distance (in yards)
EPS = E-Penis Size (in inches)
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Awards, Achievements, and Accolades
1
1
1
1
1

butt3r3dt0ast Well Established Member

butt3r3dt0ast

BTW, to make for easier calculations, I've simplified the algebra.

To find your Internet Adjusted Distance (IAD), you can use the formula:

IAD = ( 0.834783 * ADD ) + ( 7.24638 * EPS )

And to find your Internet Adjusted Score (IAS), you can use the formula:

IAS = ( 0.64 * AS ) + ( 147.744 / EPS )

This is outrageous, haha! What would your boss say if he knew what you were up to :whistle: (Assuming you have one..)

In the Bag:
:titleist: 913 D3 - 9.5* - Diamana Stiff 62g
:mizuno: MP 64s 3-PW - DGS300
:cleveland: CG12 52* & 56*
:tmade: Rosa

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Slice of Life Great Member

Slice of Life

  • Author

This is outrageous, haha! What would your boss say if he knew what you were up to  (Assuming you have one..)

I'm an engineer...it's what I do.

They don't care as long as I get my work done. Haha.

Ryan M
 
The Internet Adjustment Formula:
IAD = ( [ADD] * .96 + [EPS] * [1/.12] ) / (1.15)
 
IAD = Internet Adjusted Distance (in yards)
ADD = Actual Driver Distance (in yards)
EPS = E-Penis Size (in inches)
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Awards, Achievements, and Accolades
1
1
1
1
1

rkim291968 Super Member

rkim291968

I'm an engineer...it's what I do.

They don't care as long as I get my work done. Haha.

The formula was a dead giveaway, Slice.   (I am in Sillycon [sic]  Valley, managing - can you guess - a team of engineers. ;-) )

RiCK

(Play it again, Sam)

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Awards, Achievements, and Accolades
1
1
1
1

Slice of Life Great Member

Slice of Life

  • Author

The formula was a dead giveaway, Slice.   (I am in Sillycon [sic]  Valley, managing - can you guess - a team of engineers. )

To take it even further, using advanced mathematics, we can estimate the largest ratio of IAD to ADD that one may find acceptable to use. I call this the MPEV Theorem (Max Penal Exaggeration Value).

We take the double integral of the IAD formula (both from 0 to 1, 1 being as full of shit as one can possibly be) with respect to ADD and EPS. Doing this gives us a value of approximately 1.92.

Thus, the maximum IAD value would be equal to 1.92 * ADD. So for someone who drives the ball 215 yards, their maximum IAD would be about 413 yards. Monster internet drive. Any larger than that, and the e-penis becomes unstable.

Ryan M
 
The Internet Adjustment Formula:
IAD = ( [ADD] * .96 + [EPS] * [1/.12] ) / (1.15)
 
IAD = Internet Adjusted Distance (in yards)
ADD = Actual Driver Distance (in yards)
EPS = E-Penis Size (in inches)
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Awards, Achievements, and Accolades
1
1
1
1
1

Lihu Incredible Member

Lihu

Surprised there no differential equations or laplacians involved. :-) :-) :-)

:ping:  :tmade:  :callaway:   :gamegolf:  :titleist:

TM White Smoke Big Fontana; Pro-V1
TM Rac 60 TT WS, MD2 56
Ping i20 irons U-4, CFS300
Callaway XR16 9 degree Fujikura Speeder 565 S
Callaway XR16 3W 15 degree Fujikura Speeder 565 S, X2Hot Pro 20 degrees S

"I'm hitting the woods just great, but I'm having a terrible time getting out of them." ~Harry Toscano

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Awards, Achievements, and Accolades
1
1
1

rkim291968 Super Member

rkim291968

Surprised there no differential equations or laplacians involved.

Don't encourage SOL.   He may completely lose us with differential equations and I hate to get my Calculus book out from attic.

RiCK

(Play it again, Sam)

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Awards, Achievements, and Accolades
1
1
1
1

Note: This thread is 3889 days old. We appreciate that you found this thread instead of starting a new one, but if you plan to post here please make sure it's still relevant. If not, please start a new topic. Thank you!

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share
Go to topic listing


×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Welcome to TST! Signing up is free, and you'll see fewer ads and can talk with fellow golf enthusiasts! By using TST, you agree to our Terms of Use, our Privacy Policy, and our Guidelines.

  I accept
The popup will be closed in 10 seconds...