Daughter Plays Weekly but Isn't Committed

[Lihu]

My daughter plays once a week, and hits pretty far. She can connect and make seriously impressive drives. She doesn't really have a positive attitude just before making a shot. Basically, she says "I can't chip" before making one. She seems to enjoy the weekly playing as a social event, but her coaches are trying to encourage her to play more often and improve her short game and long game consistency.

Next year she is going to high school, and she does have the talent and distance to make a varsity team, but refuses to play/practice more than 3 hours a week.

What would you do?

[Patch]

Probably nothing. It's entirely up to her what she wants to do with here golf interests. I'd probably offer to take her with me when I went but that's about it. As a parent, you will do well just to keep her interested in the game for now.

My daughters liked playing the game, but they were both into fast pitch softball, so golf took a back seat. All six of our grand kids like to go "golfing" with grand pa, but only one has stayed with the game enough to maybe make some noise later on. She's only 11 and goes with her dad when ever possible. She knows how to call and make a tee time when she knows we will be visiting.

Youngsters have all kinds of interesting things going on in their lives these days. Sometimes they are not old enough, or too busy to focus on just one of those interests.

[mchepp]

My opinion @Lihu not force it. Meaning that you need to let her decide that she wants to get better. She may not ever, but it needs to be her choice.

One thing a friend of mine did which did work. His daughter was the 6th player on their HS team. She was very casual sort of like your daughter. He formed a friendship with the father of the #1 girl on the team and they would go play as a foursome on the weekend. The girls became friends and started to practice together. When his daughter practiced as much as the #1 girl his daughter quickly became the #2 player. This is not sure fire as his daughter could have disliked the #1 girl, but it was something that worked.

[iacas]

Ask her about it. Talk to her about it.

[Lihu]

My opinion @Lihu is that you cannot force it. Meaning that you need to let her decide that she wants to get better. She may not ever, but it needs to be her choice.

One thing a friend of mine did which did work. His daughter was the 6th player on their HS team. She was very casual sort of like your daughter. He formed a friendship with the father of the #1 girl on the team and they would go play as a foursome on the weekend. The girls became friends and started to practice together. When his daughter practiced as much as the #1 girl his daughter quickly became the #2 player. This is not sure fire as his daughter could have disliked the #1 girl, but it was something that worked.

Good suggestion. Now, I just need to find a father in her play league who is not injured (one of the dad's who I used to play with is still getting over a herniated disk from golf), and likes to play more than once a week. Wish me luck. . .

[Golfingdad]

Probably nothing. It's entirely up to her what she wants to do with here golf interests. I'd probably offer to take her with me when I went but that's about it.

My opinion @Lihu is that you cannot force it. Meaning that you need to let her decide that she wants to get better. She may not ever, but it needs to be her choice.

Ask her about it. Talk to her about it.

What they said. Whether or not she drives it far or chips it close is entirely irrelevant.  All that matters is whether or not she enjoys it.

[Lihu]

What they said. Whether or not she drives it far or chips it close is entirely irrelevant.  All that matters is whether or not she enjoys it.

She seems to like the social aspect.

[MS256]

I told my own kids and every kid I ever coached that it doesn't cost any more to do your best. If something doesn't interest you enough to give it 100% then find something that does.

Putting in extra effort and going the extra mile in training is also much easier with the right group of peers. "In the land of the blind the one eyed man is King" (Desiderius Erasmus) and it's easy to be lazy when everybody else is more lazy.

It's a big reason why schools that are perennial losers remain perennial losers and why schools that are perennial winners remain perennial winners.

[bossfrog]

My daughter plays once a week, and hits pretty far. She can connect and make seriously impressive drives. She doesn't really have a positive attitude just before making a shot. Basically, she says "I can't chip" before making one. She seems to enjoy the weekly playing as a social event, but her coaches are trying to encourage her to play more often and improve her short game and long game consistency.

Next year she is going to high school, and she does have the talent and distance to make a varsity team, but refuses to play/practice more than 3 hours a week.

What would you do?

I'd tell her that golf is a serious business and if she's not going to dedicate herself fully to being the best golfer she can possibly be, then she needs to hang it up and take up knitting.  I would also tell her to stop horsing around with her friends on the course and spend some time alone out there so she can focus on what she's doing wrong and not be distracted by idle chatter.  I would sit down with her and schedule a regimen to develop her skills.  She needs to commit to 100 chip shots per day from various distances and at least 150 putts from 10 - 20 feet.

It also wouldn't hurt to educate her on the history of golf and the PGA/LPGA in hopes of getting it through her skull that she can make some serious cash playing golf if she would just get her head on straight.  If you're religiously inclined, I might also suggest studying with her the parable of the talents in Matthew 25:14-30.  If all else fails, you can always try the guilt trip route by telling her how disappointed you would be if she failed to make the varsity team next year.

Now, all sarcasm aside....

IS THIS FOR REAL?  If it is... let the kid be a kid!

The thing about pushing your kids to do things they don't want to to is that it becomes a habit, and eventually you push them away.

[Lihu]

I'd tell her that golf is a serious business and if she's not going to dedicate herself fully to being the best golfer she can possibly be, then she needs to hang it up and take up knitting.  I would also tell her to stop horsing around with her friends on the course and spend some time alone out there so she can focus on what she's doing wrong and not be distracted by idle chatter.  I would sit down with her and schedule a regimen to develop her skills.  She needs to commit to 100 chip shots per day from various distances and at least 150 putts from 10 - 20 feet.

It also wouldn't hurt to educate her on the history of golf and the PGA/LPGA in hopes of getting it through her skull that she can make some serious cash playing golf if she would just get her head on straight.  If you're religiously inclined, I might also suggest studying with her the parable of the talents in Matthew 25:14-30.  If all else fails, you can always try the guilt trip route by telling her how disappointed you would be if she failed to make the varsity team next year.

Now, all sarcasm aside....

IS THIS FOR REAL?  If it is... let the kid be a kid!

The thing about pushing your kids to do things they don't want to to is that it becomes a habit, and eventually you push them away.

Yup, it's her turn to prepare for high school. Wow, time really flies. . .

Appreciate the response.

[billchao]

Less tiger, @Lihu :-)

[Lihu]

Less tiger, @Lihu

That's been the overwhelming response so far.

I'm just looking at the potential, and she really doesn't know what she wants to do. She really likes volleyball and is pretty good at it, but knows that she won't be over 6' tall. Even high school volleyball might be hard for her. However, she's naturally talented at golf. It's a situation that's almost begging for some input. . .

[bossfrog]

Yup, it's her turn to prepare for high school. Wow, time really flies. . .

Appreciate the response.

Please note, the sarcasm was only intended as hyperbole.

[Lihu]

Please note, the sarcasm was only intended as hyperbole.

Noted, it's all good.

[inthehole]

I have a nephew like that ... its funny, seems people have the bug or they don't - can't force it on anyone - they have to have that burning inherent desire to practice/play.

[billchao]

I'm just looking at the potential, and she really doesn't know what she wants to do. She really likes volleyball and is pretty good at it, but knows that she won't be over 6' tall. Even high school volleyball might be hard for her. However, she's naturally talented at golf. It's a situation that's almost begging for some input. . .

A lot of kids that age don't know what they want to do. Let her be a kid and enjoy it. Maybe she'd just enjoy recreational volleyball if she can't make the team? Not everything has to be a competition.

I think you're already giving her some guidance by exposing her to golf and taking her out to play.

[Lihu]

A lot of kids that age don't know what they want to do. Let her be a kid and enjoy it. Maybe she'd just enjoy recreational volleyball if she can't make the team? Not everything has to be a competition.

I think you're already giving her some guidance by exposing her to golf and taking her out to play.

She's very competitive. She just claims to hate golf at the moment (even though she still plays once a week). I'm just trying to suggest to her to play something that she has a chance at competing in, as she is already competitive by nature.

[badandy519]

Obvious answer is obvious.... Why isn't she on the Dan Plan already?