Excuses Given to You When Suggesting Pairing Up

[bkuehn1952]

I can honestly say I have never told anyone that they could not join me or my group.

Over the past 30 years I have played a fair amount of golf just joining another single, 2-some or 3-some.  Occasionally the person/group I try to join has an excuse for why they are not going to allow me to join.  It has not happened that often but I remember several of the rejections.

The lamest was "we are having a match".  Okay, it is noon on a Saturday and you two are playing a match on a course filled with 4-somes.  How exactly is my tagging along going to affect your "match"?  They played without my pleasant company.

A 3-some once rejected my suggestion I join them by just looking at me and saying "no".  It was late February in Michigan and an early Spring had the course packed.  Groups were lined up waiting to tee off.  And they just did not want to play with some old white guy.  Fortunately the 2-some following, who were laughing at my rejection, agreed to let me join them when I approached and said, "okay you 2 assholes, let's make a 3-some." 

Most often I hear, "Oh, we are not very good."  I just smile and say, "that's okay, let's go!"

Any other interesting reasons given for not pairing up?

 

 

Edited November 7, 2015 by bkuehn1952
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[Natural Patrick]

I guess for the most part, I have never asked if I could pair up with others. I wait until others ask me. I will always offer Anyone who catches up with me to join me and who ever I'm playing with.

[vangator]

It's happened a few times with me but I honestly can't remember their excuses.

Last year I joined a 3 some on the first tee.  They were dressed nice.  Looked like real golfers.  Me?  I came strolling up with my holey shorts, nasty shirt, bucket hat, Crocs for golf shoes with white tube socks, hadn't shaved in a week, and a cart that looked like it should be in a trash heap.  I got a nasty look, but they couldn't refuse because the starter paired us up.

Well, I drilled a beautiful draw just short of the green, a little wedge that one hops and stops and drained the put.  They were all over the place.  On the next tee, one of the guys starts laughing and tells me what they were thinking when I joined them. They then asked me "how do you draw the ball?".  We had a nice round.

[Gator Hazard]

Yesterday we played a pretty busy course and teed off as a twosome.  The starter had mentioned they may need to pair us up.  As we were on the box another cart pulled up but they did not put us together.  In front of us was a threesome that included a junior golfer (about 11). We all did a very fair amount of waiting, so a few times the twosome behind us would be right next to us and we offered to let them join a few times.  They said something to the effect of "oh were good, no seems to be minding".  So, we told them if they ever felt like joining, just come on up with us.  Nice couple.  

[Yukari]

19 hours ago, Natural Patrick said:

I guess for the most part, I have never asked if I could pair up with others. I wait until others ask me. I will always offer Anyone who catches up with me to join me and who ever I'm playing with.

Same here.  There was one time when a starter paired me up with a threesome, and one of the threesome did not seem too pleased.  But after a couple of holes, where I started par and drove the green and drained an eagle put on hole #2 (Fossil Trace, Golden CO), his demeanor changed 180 degrees.

All I can say is, there are a**holes who think they are much better than others until you spank them with your play.  

[Shorty]

13 minutes ago, Yukari said:

Same here.  There was one time when a starter paired me up with a threesome, and one of the threesome did not seem too pleased.  But after a couple of holes, where I started par and drove the green and drained an eagle put on hole #2 (Fossil Trace, Golden CO), his demeanor changed 180 degrees.

All I can say is, there are a**holes who think they are much better than others until you spank them with your play.  

It  may not have been the play that bothered them, judging by the tone of your post. People tend to enjoy playing with good players, as a rule.

But - you have thrilled us with details of your superb play....

[Mr. Desmond]

Haven't gotten a lame excuse yet ...  but when I get one, it's usually we're having a family outing and it's 3 of them in the group. If they're not confident of their playing ability, they just say "to play through."

And if they don't, and no one is on the next hole, I'll skip the hole and try to come back to it.

[saevel25]

21 hours ago, bkuehn1952 said:

Any other interesting reasons given for not pairing up?

Most of the time I am never playing on a packed course so it rarely comes up. I know my dad and I have told a starter we would rather not pair up with another two-some or a single if we only had 3. Most starters understand that. 

If a starter asks I just tell them I rather just pay by myself. If I tee off and later on a single or a twosome catches me then I either let them through or I will pair up if I am waiting on some groups ahead of me. 

[Shorty]

One thing I have learnt from decades playing golf is that other people really don't care about your game. The only reason they would object to playing with another is if that person is unbearably slow. As for someone not wanting to play with you because you "smoke" drives or "drain" putts  - or, conversely want to play with you because you do is completely bogus. As a golfer, you should be willing to play with anyone. If you a re a single, you have no standing on the golf course if you are jammed between groups with others ahead, so if you insist on playing by yourself, choose a quiet time or expect to join another group. Geez, you might even make a friend or two!

[ncarlsongolf]

I always hear business meetings happening and the refuse to let a single join up, I guess so they do not hear sensitive information.  I think that is silly but I hear that most often.

[Rip62]

I was told once I wasn't old enough. I was 50 at the time.

[Big C]

I don't have many opportunities to go out and golf as a single anymore, but when I did I heard the, "we're not very good" excuse a couple of times. I can't say I ever understood that. I know golf can be an embarrassing game, especially when you are a beginner. But even when I first started playing, I always enjoyed the opportunity to play with people who were better than me as long as they were friendly.

7 hours ago, saevel25 said:

 I know my dad and I have told a starter we would rather not pair up with another two-some or a single if we only had 3. Most starters understand that. 
 

On a busy Southern California weekend, there is no chance that a starter would accommodate that request. Out here, the law of the land is that if you don't come with a full paying foursome, you are getting paired up with someone off the wait list. You may be referring to a private course, where there is less crowding and more leeway to accommodate member requests. But on a busy public course, the only way you can ensure that you won't be paired up is to pay for that 4th tee time.

[Lihu]

It's funny, if I request/suggest joining some groups, they wave me up. Not sure why? 

Others don't care one way or another.

Guessing most people who want to play alone in their groups to socialize with their friends. It is a good place to discuss private things together.

Not ready to pass judgement. At times, I want to "run through" a course like playing 18 in under 2 hours. Doesn't happen often. . .

[JonMA1]

If I'm waiting for the group in front of me and someone catches up from behind, I'll tell them they are welcome to join me. On the occasions they choose not to, the "why" doesn't usually matter. I certainly don't take it personally and assume it's because they simply want to hang out with one another and not some stranger. I realize the courses aren't as busy when I play and a starter isn't necessary - so it's a bit different.

I usually walk and that has been the reason I've declined an invitation to join a faster twosome in a cart. But if they insist, I'll gladly join them. There have been plenty of times I'll walk while others ride and keeping up isn't an issue.

[saevel25]

1 hour ago, Big C said:

. Out here, the law of the land is that if you don't come with a full paying foursome, you are getting paired up with someone off the wait list. You may be referring to a private course, where there is less crowding and more leeway to accommodate member requests. But on a busy public course, the only way you can ensure that you won't be paired up is to pay for that 4th tee time.

 

My post was pretty clear in saying I don't face many full golf courses. When my dad and I layers TPC Sawgrass we got paired up. If we are in Ohio, 99% of the time we are not forced to pair up. 

Still I don't make excuses for not wanting to pair up. 

[Big C]

13 minutes ago, saevel25 said:

 

My post was pretty clear in saying I don't face many full golf courses. When my dad and I layers TPC Sawgrass we got paired up. If we are in Ohio, 99% of the time we are not forced to pair up. 

Still I don't make excuses for not wanting to pair up. 

Yeah, I hear ya. California has a lot of great things going for it golf-wise, but an abundance of open golf courses isn't one of them. 

[David in FL]

We very seldom try to join with another group unless the course is so crowded that adding another player or two will smooth out the round and make the pace of play more tolerable.

 

We will however explain to anyone asking to join us on a relatively clear course that our intended pace of play is to finish the 18 in under 3 hours.  If they're comfortable with that, they're welcome to join.  If not, they may be better off with another group.

[dkolo]

Yeah, I said no once. First day of winter a few years ago, course is literally empty when I get on the tee after 1p. I get excited I can speed golf through and maybe even finish 18. I tee off and am grabbing my tee from the ground when an old dude is walking up and asks to join. We're both walking and I know there's no way he keeps up with me. I just said no and went off. I finished way before dark and the guy didn't. I still feel bad about it, but I don't regret it.