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Nett Swing

Golfing Curator: Collector Of Anecdotes/Disasters/Bogeys

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Hi all; new to the site, so take this as a general 'fore'

Currently writing a humorous book about the absurd yet strangely addictive past-time/sport/affliction that is golf. All nonsense welcome. Thanks for having me.

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Recently saw a guy pick up and flip his ball up with a putter. Hit him hard, square in the forehead and knocked him down. Needs more practice. Best, -Marv

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Welcome to TST. Lots of books already out there on the topics you listed. Good luck in your endeavor. 

As for humorous remarks, actually heard this, and have read it in print before. 

Caddy: "150 to to the front of the green." 

Player: "Can I get there with my 6 iron?"

Caddy: "Eventually".

 

 

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4 hours ago, MarvChamp said:

Recently saw a guy pick up and flip his ball up with a putter. Hit him hard, square in the forehead and knocked him down. Needs more practice. Best, -Marv

I saw an unfamiliar guy the other day, who was pissed that he missed a short putt. He kicks the ball towards the cart, and while walking, put a big swing on the ball with his putter. Caught the ball perfectly. The ball hit the wheel of the cart, just right, and rebounded straight back,  squarely on his shin bone. 

Left an ugly, purple bump on his leg he had to deal with the rest of the round. Probably for a few more days too. 

My fake cough, hopefully disquised my slight laugh. 

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15 minutes ago, Patch said:

I saw an unfamiliar guy the other day, who was pissed that he missed a short putt. He kicks the ball towards the cart, and while walking, put a big swing on the ball with his putter. Caught the ball perfectly. The ball hit the wheel of the cart, just right, and rebounded straight back,  squarely on his shin bone. 

Left an ugly, purple bump on his leg he had to deal with the rest of the round. Probably for a few more days too. 

My fake cough, hopefully disquised my slight laugh. 

Cough cough cough hahaha cough cough cough.  Smirk.

Edited by Double Mocha Man

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It never fails to amaze me what happens to a golf ball once it has left the club face! Absolutely anything seems possible, except what was intended....

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On 10/8/2019 at 1:16 PM, Nett Swing said:

Hi all; new to the site, so take this as a general 'fore'

Currently writing a humorous book about the absurd yet strangely addictive past-time/sport/affliction that is golf. All nonsense welcome. Thanks for having me.

Humorous, I’m afraid I can’t help. Horror,...I’ve got you covered...for pages and pages. 

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I was very lucky during my college years. I pretty much worked my way through college at one golf course or another and then spent another 7-8 years as a club pro. I should really write a book. I worked at a public golf course that was pretty full of degenerate gamblers, drinkers,etc. Probably was the best years of my life. I learned many, many interesting lessons.

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Interesting to hear from American golfers on here. Have any of you played in the UK? Would love to hear about your impressions of the English conditions by comparison. By contrast, the US game looks so glamorous; although I'm sure it's not...

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17 hours ago, Nett Swing said:

Interesting to hear from American golfers on here. Have any of you played in the UK? Would love to hear about your impressions of the English conditions by comparison. By contrast, the US game looks so glamorous; although I'm sure it's not...

If the pros had to play with the course conditions we sometimes encounter at our local munis, they wouldn't score so well either. Best, -Marv

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On 10/10/2019 at 3:07 PM, Nett Swing said:

Interesting to hear from American golfers on here. Have any of you played in the UK? Would love to hear about your impressions of the English conditions by comparison. By contrast, the US game looks so glamorous; although I'm sure it's not...

I lived in Northern England for 4 years, the biggest difference to me between the US and the UK, is the steady rain and wind in that part of England.  Here in the US, a lot of folks don't golf because of the rain, when I was in the UK I can't remember if I ever golfed when it wasn't raining.

The one thing I really enjoyed in the UK though was that everyone was walking, only riding in a cart if you had a doctor's note.  I think walking is more enjoyable, but a lot of courses here are just not good for walkers, where I think the UK courses are.

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13 hours ago, JGus said:

I lived in Northern England for 4 years, the biggest difference to me between the US and the UK, is the steady rain and wind in that part of England.  Here in the US, a lot of folks don't golf because of the rain, when I was in the UK I can't remember if I ever golfed when it wasn't raining.

The one thing I really enjoyed in the UK though was that everyone was walking, only riding in a cart if you had a doctor's note.  I think walking is more enjoyable, but a lot of courses here are just not good for walkers, where I think the UK courses are.

I watch Golf VLOGS UK on YouTube. Set in and around Bolton. They often play in rain and some cold...and they WALK. Even 80-year-old The Dad. I wondered if I could do that. Best, -Marv (Co. D, 2nd Bn./16th Inf. Reg., 1st Inf Div BRO)

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I've never used a golf cart; or even a trolley, and most of my golf has been played 'underwater' as it were, eg; in the rain.

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On 10/15/2019 at 9:02 AM, JGus said:

...but a lot of courses here are just not good for walkers, where I think the UK courses are.

Can you elaborate on this?  Unless we are talking about total number of steps, I can not imagine what you mean.

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US courses appear much more suited to walkers, although I've never played on one. UK courses are often affected by the weather, and are rarely flat...

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4 hours ago, Nett Swing said:

US courses appear much more suited to walkers, although I've never played on one. UK courses are often affected by the weather, and are rarely flat...

I think it depends on set up and location. Older courses in the US have tees and green very close together. Newer courses, especially those with housing developments, can have long distances between tee and green making it harder to walk.

As for elevation changes, of course Florida is flat. But most of the courses I play in New England have a lot of elevation change. Some are difficult to walk even in the Boston area.

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On 1/9/2020 at 11:40 AM, Cantankerish said:

Can you elaborate on this?  Unless we are talking about total number of steps, I can not imagine what you mean.

I'm only going by my experience between the two locations.  When I golfed in England, the courses were set up as @boogielicious mentioned for older US courses, closer tee boxes and greens and parallel fairways, a lot of hills as well, but they were manageable.  Most of the courses around me are built in or around housing developments where you could walk 5-10 minutes to get from a green to the next tee box, as well as numerous hills, which in my opinion discourages walking.

I feel like course in the UK have walkers in mind when the course is designed, where here in the US, I don't think it comes into play at all, again based on what I have seen.  I can walk my current course, but if I'm playing with others I usually ride because of the distance in between certain holes, it just takes to long to catch up to them.

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