How Much Golf Is "Too Much" for Your Wife?

[Gator Hazard]

Right now just hoping the weather holds up for this weekend!

That sounds familiar.  My problem is we just moved to Florida 4 months ago.  Before we moved, I would play maybe 3 times a year.  Since we moved down here, I started playing in a Saturday league with her step dad and a Tuesday work league.  She doesn't do anything but take care of the kids (stay at home mom).  She hasn't made any friends yet and doesn't have any hobbies so I get a lot of crap about the amount of golf I play.  I tell her we moved down here so she could be closer to her mom, so I get to play golf.  I play twice a week and hit the range once a week...anymore than that is like pulling teeth.

Making new friends in a new area can be tough for some people, hopefully she finds an interest.  My wife is somewhat the same and she is by nature an introvert, but she is starting to branch out, tonight she is going to some painting and wine/dinner thing with my playing partners wife (they live a few holes away from us and we met them trick or treeting last year).  She has in general been supportive but she doesn't want it to consume all of my time, so I understand, life and relationships are all about balance.

[phan52]

I was a golfer when I met my wife and she has never questioned how much I play. In fact, some weekend mornings she looks at me askew if I am puttering around the house, like, "why are you here?", especially since the kids are grown and we are empty nesters.

[ay33660]

In the summer I golf almost every night after work till sun down.

I have a regular game every Saturday, Sunday and holiday morning.

Three weeks ago I played 10 days in a row. That was bordering on too much golf !

I also go on at least three golf trips a year with the guys.

Of course when my kids were younger I was limited in the amount of golf and basically played only one or two days a week and never on the weekend. But now we are empty nesters.

Some reasons why I think my wife tolerates / supports my golf addiction:

1.  She has stated that golf is my mistress so I suppose that is better than a real mistress.

2.  She has LOTS of friends and they are always going out on weekends etc.

3.  She is still very active in sports and plays regularly in organized team leagues two to three nights a week.

4.  She also plays in out of town / out of country tournaments or sports camps several times a year.

5.  She plays golf very well (close to a single cap) but does not want to play it seriously until she can no longer play more active sports. We do golf vacations together and she seems to genuinely enjoy them. She is very very competitive so our games are full of betting. So I think she understands my golf addiction.

In summary I think the secret to having a spouse that supports your golf addiction is to make sure that YOU are not the center of her universe and she has lots of other interests that she can do without you.

I know that may sound bad to some who do everything together and I certainly am not implying that we not nothing together but we certainly do have our separate interests.

[Kenny Lee]

No amount of golf is too much for my wife. I haven't gone 2 consecutive days without playing since April. Plus, many 3+ hour practice sessions at the range. I've played well over 100 rounds this year.

The key is this- I know what my wife wants, and that's exactly what I provide. If your wife won't let you play golf as much as you want, I'll wager that there is something she needs that you aren't providing. If your wife is 100% satisfied, she'll let you do whatever the hell you want. Within reason, of course.

[rkim291968]

In the summer I golf almost every night after work till sun down.

I have a regular game every Saturday, Sunday and holiday morning.

Three weeks ago I played 10 days in a row. That was bordering on too much golf !

I also go on at least three golf trips a year with the guys.

Of course when my kids were younger I was limited in the amount of golf and basically played only one or two days a week and never on the weekend. But now we are empty nesters.

Some reasons why I think my wife tolerates / supports my golf addiction:

1.  She has stated that golf is my mistress so I suppose that is better than a real mistress.

2.  She has LOTS of friends and they are always going out on weekends etc.

3.  She is still very active in sports and plays regularly in organized team leagues two to three nights a week.

4.  She also plays in out of town / out of country tournaments or sports camps several times a year.

5.  She plays golf very well (close to a single cap) but does not want to play it seriously until she can no longer play more active sports. We do golf vacations together and she seems to genuinely enjoy them. She is very very competitive so our games are full of betting. So I think she understands my golf addiction.

In summary I think the secret to having a spouse that supports your golf addiction is to make sure that YOU are not the center of her universe and she has lots of other interests that she can do without you.

I know that may sound bad to some who do everything together and I certainly am not implying that we not nothing together but we certainly do have our separate interests.

I think you just won the Golf Couple award.

[MacDutch]

I just learned this from a wise man: 'don't play too much golf, two rounds a day is enough' Harry Vardon, golf legend.

[cwoodard11]

I'm one of the smart ones my wife doesn't care - she got the house I took the clubs and the membership

[k14]

Interesting question. My game has taken a hammering since we had our first child last year. Only getting out 4 days a week for practice (usually 1 hour a day) and then every second weekend for a round. However I've started taking my daughter out in the stroller in the evenings when the course is quiet. She loves it too. If no one is around I'll let her have a run round the green and she loves picking up the balls and putting them in the hole. My plan is to get her hooked so I have an excuse to go and play. Just got a few years before I can leave her to play by herself (she is only 16 months old!). My wife is pretty awesome but she has her stuff to do too and with no relatives nearby it is up to us to perform child minding duties. When we have another it will be very painful unfortunately, may have to stop playing for a few years cause it will just frustrate me if I can't put the time in to keep my game up to where I like it.

[BuckeyeNut]

I can't relate to the men who can't play golf because they are married with kids.   I want to call BS on that!!  I have 2 kids and I'm closing in on my 25th Wedding anniversary.  Still married...........AND A GOLFER!! (100+ rounds a year)....................and I am a "PRESENT" dad too. I attend all my kids events...............

To those who say they can't , I almost question how much do they really want to play?   Part of me believes they're making empty excuses for not playing.  IMO...these aren't true golf enthusiasts.   I can play most every weekend both Saturday and Sunday EARLY.  I am done and home by 10-11am at the latest.  If I have a kid with a seasonal event at this time, I go watch my kid!!  In my 25yrs of marriage raising 2 kids, this has been more the exception than the rule.  There are also a "Smattering" of weekends when late in the day my wife is off doing here thing.....my kids disappear with their friends and are doing their thing!!!  Then it occurs to me that it's 3-4pm on a saturday or sunday and I am home all alone........BOOM..I go to the course and play a 2nd 18!!!!  Count it!!

I also play 18 holes usually twice M-F in the evenings during daylight savings time when the days are long.  This is not difficult to coordinate!!!  My worst time was when my daughter was a varsity cheerleader before she turned 16 and got a driver license  I get that!!  They practiced EVERY NIGHT!  With that said, I didn't need to take here "EVERY DAY" during these busy times, I could still get out and knock the ball around until dark 2 evenings a week!!!

To those that whine about not being able to play, I question whether they really want to play at all.  Oh yea, I also bowl!  My son's favorite activity is bowling and he got me started in the game.    I bowl 20-30 games every weekend with him after I play golf!!!!  LOL

[JonMA1]

I can't relate to the men who can't play golf because they are married with kids.   I want to call BS on that!!  I have 2 kids and I'm closing in on my 25th Wedding anniversary.  Still married...........AND A GOLFER!! (100+ rounds a year)....................and I am a "PRESENT" dad too. I attend all my kids events...............

To those who say they can't, I almost question how much do they really want to play?   Part of me believes they're making empty excuses for not playing.  IMO...these aren't true golf enthusiasts.   I can play most every weekend both Saturday and Sunday EARLY.  I am done and home by 10-11am at the latest.  If I have a kid with a seasonal event at this time, I go watch my kid!!  In my 25yrs of marriage raising 2 kids, this has been more the exception than the rule.  There are also a "Smattering" of weekends when late in the day my wife is off doing here thing.....my kids disappear with their friends and are doing their thing!!!  Then it occurs to me that it's 3-4pm on a saturday or sunday and I am home all alone........BOOM..I go to the course and play a 2nd 18!!!!  Count it!!

I also play 18 holes usually twice M-F in the evenings during daylight savings time when the days are long.  This is not difficult to coordinate!!!  My worst time was when my daughter was a varsity cheerleader before she turned 16 and got a driver license  I get that!!  They practiced EVERY NIGHT!  With that said, I didn't need to take here "EVERY DAY" during these busy times, I could still get out and knock the ball around until dark 2 evenings a week!!!

To those that whine about not being able to play, I question whether they really want to play at all.  Oh yea, I also bowl!  My son's favorite activity is bowling and he got me started in the game.    I bowl 20-30 games every weekend with him after I play golf!!!!  LOL

Everyone's situation is different. Maybe it isn't 100% the wife and kids. Maybe they have a longer drive to and from work, or they work a different shift than their spouse, have more responsibilities or chores to do at home, babies as opposed to teenagers, less money, more overtime... there are a lot of variables that could make getting out even once a week very difficult.

I would say that most of the members of this site are pretty addicted to golf and play as much as they feel they can get away with. Are there a few who use families as an excuse? Maybe. But they're likely more the exception than the rule. Just my opinion @BuckeyeNut .

[BuckeyeNut]

There is nothing wrong with playing golf 5-10 or however many times a year!  Everybody has their priorities....some people are passionate golfers, and others are non-golfers that prioritize their time doing other things!  I have a neighbor that is constantly kept busy doing busywork around the house.  Nothing wrong with that........doing that stuff IS his hobby/passion.  Me?..... if I need something done, I search the internet and hire a contractor!!!

[Strandly]

I play a full round 2-3 times a week in blissful serenity and never hear a peep about it.  I am also not married.  Perhaps I am on to something.

[Duff McGee]

There is nothing wrong with playing golf 5-10 or however many times a year!  Everybody has their priorities....some people are passionate golfers, and others are non-golfers that prioritize their time doing other things!  I have a neighbor that is constantly kept busy doing busywork around the house.  Nothing wrong with that........doing that stuff IS his hobby/passion.  Me?..... if I need something done, I search the internet and hire a contractor!!!

Dude this makes no sense at all. If they didn't really want to golf, why the hell would they be on this site? It's not like someone is forcing them to be here.....

[RFKFREAK]

I golfed the past two weekends and plan on golfing this weekend.  I got the side eye when I told her that.  My wife would like nothing more than for all of my free time to be spent with her.  I love that, and love that she loves to be around me but I have been trying to explain to her that there is nothing wrong with having other interests and hobbies and spending some time away.  My golf partner's wife and she are going to do some painting class, so I thought that was great.  I told her she doesn't have to be a golf widow if she wants to learn to play the game and wants to come out.  She is on the fence but I think she will break eventually.  Only thing is I don't think that she will ever want to play on any type of a consistent basis so not sure if is even worth trying to continue to nudge her on.

Sounds like someone I know, haha

To answer the question, my gf of 4+ years plays soccer 3-4 days a week and whereas she doesn't like playing golf because she gets frustrated at not being able to hit the ball well, and doesn't like watching golf because I'm obsessed with it, she let's me do as much golf as I like and at times even encourages me to go practice at the range if I'm waffling about going after work.

[jsgolfer]

My wife plays golf as much as I do.  Saturday and Sunday, we go to the course together, and play with different groups.  Tuesday night is men's 9-hole, Wednesday night is Ladies (she'll play 9 before the 9-hole league starts, so she plays 18), Friday is my normal practice session.  When we go on vacation, its usually for golf.  We spend Thanksgiving week every year at our condo in Pinehurst, and we both play golf 7 or 8 days straight.  We've been to Scotland and Ireland together, to Palm Springs and Phoenix, to Whistling Straits, always with golf included. I could just be the luckiest golfer in the world!

I'm in the same boat as Dave, my soon to be wife is also an avid golfer. She would play every day if work didn't get in the way. We play couples on Friday's, she plays with the ladies on Wednesday and Saturday, I play with the guys on Tuesday and Ssturday, we play with another couple on Sunday's usually and then we'll play other days when her work doesn't get in the way. All of our trips are planned around playing golf. We've played as many as 10 rounds in 11 days, playing 36 twice during the trip. We're going to the Homestead next month to play in a couples tournament. I think Dave and I could claim to be tied for r luckiest golfers.

[inthehole]

... might be a 3 way tie !      My wife is equally avid as I am ... she plays in her girls EWGA league once a week after work & I play a couple times with the guys after work ... and we both play together once on weekends - she gets all mopey if she can't get out golfing - LOL !

Finding golf has been great for us ... I think the reason it worked out so well for us is that we both learned to play at the same time (it's tougher if the man is an established golfer & tries to teach a novice significant other - just a lot of difficulties can arise from that & from what I read/hear,  it seems to fail more than it succeeds).

[kpaulhus]

I play every weekend. In reality I play 4-5 rounds a week as my office is a pitching wedge away from the clubhouse and my house is 5 mins from that. She understands that I spend a good bit of money at the club every month and the more I play the cheaper per round it gets!

She will play with me maybe once a month or so. We are from Florida where I could play year round. Now living in Arkansas with the little winter we have, there was about a 6-7wk period where I didn't see my clubs. I drank a lot to sooth the pain lol. I played 8 days in a row last week, so I'm taking this weekend off to spend time with her, because, believe it or not, she does have a breaking point when it comes to golf lol.

[rkim291968]

To answer the question, my gf of 4+ years plays soccer 3-4 days a week and whereas she doesn't like playing golf because she gets frustrated at not being able to hit the ball well, and doesn't like watching golf because I'm obsessed with it, she let's me do as much golf as I like and at times even encourages me to go practice at the range if I'm waffling about going after work.

One of my old 9 hole home course sent me an e-mail announcement that they will convert the course to soccer golf & regular golf.   That's what you and your gf needs!   Just don't mix up the balls when you play together.