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Favorite Tiger Car Crash Jokes


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some repeats, im copying and pasting from another site:

* Tiger's new movie is out: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.
* Apparently the police asked Tiger's wife how many times she hit him. She said "I don't know exactly... but put me down for a 5."
* Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole-in-one.
* Elin's excuse? She had to play a bad lie.
* What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.
* What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing.
* Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.
* Why did Tiger leave the house so early? He has a 2:30 tree time.
* What do a Cadillac SUV and a Nike golf ball have in common? Tiger Woods can drive them both into the trees.
* What does Tiger Woods have in common with a baby seal? They've both been clubbed by a Norwegian.
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. . . What does Tiger Woods have in common with a baby seal? They've both been clubbed by a

Really?

Anyway, this whole affair isn't Tiger's fault - it's ours. Every time he tees off someone is yelling "Get in da hole!"
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heres another one:



so the skank at the bar invites me over to her apartment, one thing leads to another and we end up in bed. when we're done, i get up and start heading to the bathroom. the skank asks "where are you going?" and i tell her "i'm going to the bathroom to get a drink of water" and she goes "tiger would never do that. come back and make love to me."

so i go back to bed and make love to her. a few minutes later i get up and start heading to the kitchen. she says "where are you going?" and i say "i'm going to the kitchen to make myself a sandwich" and she goes "tiger would never do that. come back and make love to me."

so i go back to bed and make love to her. shortly after we finish i get up and head to the living room. she says "where are you going?" and i say "i'm going to the phone to call tiger and ask him 'what's par for this hole?'"
:)
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Omg I'm about to pee myself I'm laughing so hard at all of these jokes. This has to be the best thread ever made ever.

During the crash, the OnStar in Tiger's car turned on saying "You are O.B. drop in between the fire hydrant and the tree."

But he ended up hitting both of them because Tiger's never been a good driver.
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First an errant drive OB, moved an immovable obstruction (hydrant), then damaged a tree, took too many strokes at the wrong hole, and eventually found himself in an unplayable lie - I hate to think of all the the penalty strokes in his round!
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Has Mickelson called Elin yet to find out how to beat Tiger?

What the difference between Tigers car driving and his short game? He can back up a wedge.

John Daly woke up and heard on the radio a professional golfer ran over a fire hydrant and hit a tree...so he turned himself in.

Have you heard about Tiger's poor driving?.......He blamed it on his Caddy.

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and a Tiger Seal?

Seems like Tiger Woods is gonna win the "Player of the year" award.

My favorites

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Note: This thread is 4246 days old. We appreciate that you found this thread instead of starting a new one, but if you plan to post here please make sure it's still relevant. If not, please start a new topic. Thank you!

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