My take on temper tantrums......

[zipazoid]

  jamo said:

Originally Posted by jamo

That's funny, when I was in high school and someone would throw a club, my coach would say "You're off the team."

Depended on where on the team you were. Our #1 player had a temper. He finished the year as our #1 player. Now, #6 player that didn't travel with the team? Better play with a halo around your head.

[camper6]

Excerpt:

• Tommy Bolt: "Always throw clubs ahead of you, that way you won't waste any energy going back to pick them up."

• Ben Hogan : "If we could've screwed another head on his shoulders, Tommy Bolt could have been the greatest who ever played."

[zeg]

I'll confess to throwing more than my share of clubs. I'm much better than I used to be (and not just because I've been playing less golf since moving), but I still slip up sometimes. It's a funny (sad) thing---I'm intellectually aware that it's obnoxious, disrespectful, childish, and dangerous, and furthermore that it won't make me feel better, but times still come up where I lose control and it happens.

Oddly, it's not losing control in the crazy, full-out rage sense, though. I've not ever thrown a club toward someone, and never anywhere near a putting green. It's something about the stupid gesture that is somehow wired into my brain, but I still have some rationality left in choosing targets. Working pretty hard on rewire that. Now when it does come up, I usually just toss my clubs back toward my bag while I get around to cleaning up the foot-deep divot or whatever it was that set me off. Hopefully we'll be done with even that in the New Year...

[Chris G]

It is hard to keep calm on the golf course at times, I myself have not thrown but "passed " the odd club back to my bag, although I have realised over the last couple of years if you can stay calm and gain some patiance your handicap will come down :)

It was only this year I saw someone I got grouped with in a comp throw his wedge up in the air, the funny thing was it ended up a tree and he had to climb it to get it back, it was a good 30 foot up.

Also another drawn group I played with a senior member and he went mad after knocking some branches on a back swing and started hacking away at the tree like a lumber jack, I as absolutely gob smacked. He then later chopped a couple of greens with his putter after missing 2 footers, hence to say he was reported after that as if he can do that in a board event what is he like when he is out with his so called regular players.

[lefty63]

Did a search on the forum and found this thread. I've been playing regularly 3 times or so a week with a guy a few years younger than me. I'm soon to be 64 and he is 58. We match up pretty well and play skins or an occasional Nassau. The last couple of months he has been desperately searching for his swing. Even resorted to re-shafting his irons, buying hybrids, taking lessons and has turned into a first class jerk. He has been intolerable, abusive and miserable to be around.

It all came to a head last Friday when he stomped off the course on the 15th hole. When my other partner and I finished the round we found him still sulking like a school kid in the restaurant of the club house. As a joke I suggested he might get a prescription for prozac where upon he unloaded a vulgar tirade and told me to screw off... A day later I got an email from him with a sort of an apology and wanted to know if I had booked a tee time for Monday. I picked up the phone to let him know he needed to find someone else to golf with because I lacked any understanding and really had no tolerance for a senior citizen, playing off the forward tees who, on occasion might break 80, cannot see how childish and selfish his actions have been. His lack of perspective as to why some of us play golf is astounding. So I had no qualms saying, "sorry pal, you and I are finished but I do hope you get your swing back at some point and looking forward to seeing you on the Senior tour"......

[rkim291968]

  lefty63 said:

Did a search on the forum and found this thread. I've been playing regularly 3 times or so a week with a guy a few years younger than me. I'm soon to be 64 and he is 58. We match up pretty well and play skins or an occasional Nassau. The last couple of months he has been desperately searching for his swing. Even resorted to re-shafting his irons, buying hybrids, taking lessons and has turned into a first class jerk. He has been intolerable, abusive and miserable to be around.

It all came to a head last Friday when he stomped off the course on the 15th hole. When my other partner and I finished the round we found him still sulking like a school kid in the restaurant of the club house. As a joke I suggested he might get a prescription for prozac where upon he unloaded a vulgar tirade and told me to screw off... A day later I got an email from him with a sort of an apology and wanted to know if I had booked a tee time for Monday. I picked up the phone to let him know he needed to find someone else to golf with because I lacked any understanding and really had no tolerance for a senior citizen, playing off the forward tees who, on occasion might break 80, cannot see how childish and selfish his actions have been. His lack of perspective as to why some of us play golf is astounding. So I had no qualms saying, "sorry pal, you and I are finished but I do hope you get your swing back at some point and looking forward to seeing you on the Senior tour"......

I think you did well by dumping him.   Your former partner appears to have personality issues that spills over on the course.   That personality won't change.

[golfbarefoot]

My take. Personally, I have never seen a class player have a blow up, and start playing better. It's a waste of energy because you're thinking about the past. Stay in the now.

[joekelly]

This thread, but not the notions, very old.  One post even suggested that if you are a 'poor player' you have no right to get angry.  Only the best players are permitted to express their anger on the course.

[Lihu]

  lefty63 said:

Did a search on the forum and found this thread. I've been playing regularly 3 times or so a week with a guy a few years younger than me. I'm soon to be 64 and he is 58. We match up pretty well and play skins or an occasional Nassau. The last couple of months he has been desperately searching for his swing. Even resorted to re-shafting his irons, buying hybrids, taking lessons and has turned into a first class jerk. He has been intolerable, abusive and miserable to be around.

It all came to a head last Friday when he stomped off the course on the 15th hole. When my other partner and I finished the round we found him still sulking like a school kid in the restaurant of the club house. As a joke I suggested he might get a prescription for prozac where upon he unloaded a vulgar tirade and told me to screw off... A day later I got an email from him with a sort of an apology and wanted to know if I had booked a tee time for Monday. I picked up the phone to let him know he needed to find someone else to golf with because I lacked any understanding and really had no tolerance for a senior citizen, playing off the forward tees who, on occasion might break 80, cannot see how childish and selfish his actions have been. His lack of perspective as to why some of us play golf is astounding. So I had no qualms saying, "sorry pal, you and I are finished but I do hope you get your swing back at some point and looking forward to seeing you on the Senior tour"......

This seems lame. . .

  golfbarefoot said:

My take.

Personally, I have never seen a class player have a blow up, and start playing better. It's a waste of energy because you're thinking about the past.

Stay in the now.

This is really good advice, and is something we need to constantly remind ourselves. . .

[Fourputt]

  joekelly said:

This thread, but not the notions, very old.  One post even suggested that if you are a 'poor player' you have no right to get angry.  Only the best players are permitted to express their anger on the course.

It has nothing to do with permissions, it has to do with unrealistic expectations.  A bogey golfer is going to hit a lot of bad shots.  Better to learn how to recover than to throw a tantrum.  It's a standing joke that most golfers are not good enough to have a reason to get angry over a bad shot or a bad hole.

[Golfingdad]

  Fourputt said:

It has nothing to do with permissions, it has to do with unrealistic expectations.  A bogey golfer is going to hit a lot of bad shots.  Better to learn how to recover than to throw a tantrum.

Bingo! Temper your expectations and learn to enjoy the challenge of trying to recover from mistakes.

[mcanadiens]

This is actually sort of my test for this year.

After nearly three years, I'm a 95-105 average hacker with a bad temper to boot. It was pretty easy to shrug off bad shots when I was totally new, but it's getting a lot harder. It's either figure out how to enjoy playing the level of golf that I'm capable (which I still hope will get better) or find something else to spend the time and money on. I'm in for this season and will re-evaluate in the fall.

[dfreuter415]

There are many ways to handle your temper. When my daughter and I caddied together many years ago, a gentleman at the club would request her as his caddie because he knew that he would be less likely to swear or throw clubs.

[Lihu]

  Golfingdad said:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fourputt

It has nothing to do with permissions, it has to do with unrealistic expectations.  A bogey golfer is going to hit a lot of bad shots.  Better to learn how to recover than to throw a tantrum.

Bingo! Temper your expectations and learn to enjoy the challenge of trying to recover from mistakes.

         

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[ay33660]

  caniac6 said:

I used to have a bad temper until I was paired with a guy with a worse temper. I decided it was not fair to all the rest of my group to have to spend four hours with a jerk. Displays of temper are selfish acts,

+1

Used to get quite upset and have been known to throw a few clubs until I played with a business associate who after a wild drive threw his club backhanded and almost hit the three of us.

After noting how uncomfortable the round was after that I have not thrown another club in anger.

[WedgeHead]

I used to get a little mad when I was younger back in the 80's, but I'm too old and laid back now to care. It doesn't help anything to get mad. Just suck it up and move on to your next shot.

Try this: laugh at yourself next time you make a bad shot. I guarantee you'll have a better chance of recovering and making a better shot next time. It's juvenile to get upset and cause a scene over a game, and people will lose respect for you.

[mcanadiens]

  dfreuter415 said:

There are many ways to handle your temper. When my daughter and I caddied together many years ago, a gentleman at the club would request her as his caddie because he knew that he would be less likely to swear or throw clubs.

Ah ... caddies. I've heard of those.

You're right though. If I'm around mixed company, I much better at keeping my temper to myself.

[mcanadiens]

  WedgeHead said:

I used to get a little mad when I was younger back in the 80's, but I'm too old and laid back now to care. It doesn't help anything to get mad. Just suck it up and move on to your next shot.

Try this: laugh at yourself next time you make a bad shot. I guarantee you'll have a better chance of recovering and making a better shot next time. It's juvenile to get upset and cause a scene over a game, and people will lose respect for you.

Tried it. My laugh sounds biting and sarcastic and it hurts my feelings. That makes me even more mad.