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D-Man

I Hate Getting Paired Up With "That Guy"

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Thank you! That is all I am trying to say. If you your game is going haywire the last thing you need is some guy pointing out what he perceives to be the problem when you did not ask for advice. The thought of  a 28 handicap  handing out unsolicited advice makes absolutely no sense at all.

I play with a guy who is self taught 9 handicap. His address on the tee looks like it will go way right  and out of bounds. Yet his drives are generally in the fairway with the prettiest little draw that you would die to have. Now if he starts losing it to right for some reason due to lost mechanics what good could it do to tell him that he is aiming too far right? I am a firm believer that offering advice during a round is 99 % counter productive. Particularly unsolicited advice. Call that snap-judgement all you want.

OK, how about this scenario:

What if the next time you go out to play with this friend you notice that he seems to be lined up straight AND he hits "the prettiest little draws" that start down the left side and then either go into the left rough or OB.  Knowing what you know about your friends usual tendencies compared to what he's doing that day, would you actually NOT speak up?  Would you think to yourself "Weird, he usually aims way further to the right and ends up in the fairway, and now he's aiming down the middle and ending up left but, hey, I'm a worse golfer than him so I couldn't possibly be of any help here, so I'm just going to keep my mouth shut?"  I sure hope not.

I think this is closer to the scenario that @Wisguy was describing.  If you can't see how a "worse" golfer could still sometimes be of help to a "better" golfer in a situation like this, then I don't know what to say.

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I know I am not good enough to give anybody advice, so I don't.  I have a few old football injuries that have been repaired over the past 40 years and I do not have what you would call "normal" range of motion or flexibility.  My swing, etc, is built by my inability to do certain things and I have learned to play with them, so, any advice I may receive is probably impossible for me to implement.

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OK, how about this scenario:

What if the next time you go out to play with this friend you notice that he seems to be lined up straight AND he hits "the prettiest little draws" that start down the left side and then either go into the left rough or OB.  Knowing what you know about your friends usual tendencies compared to what he's doing that day, would you actually NOT speak up?  Would you think to yourself "Weird, he usually aims way further to the right and ends up in the fairway, and now he's aiming down the middle and ending up left but, hey, I'm a worse golfer than him so I couldn't possibly be of any help here, so I'm just going to keep my mouth shut?"  I sure hope not.

I think this is closer to the scenario that @Wisguy was describing.  If you can't see how a "worse" golfer could still sometimes be of help to a "better" golfer in a situation like this, then I don't know what to say.

I am glad you presented that scenario. My answer is the same I keep my mouth shut unless he asks for advice. The point is being missed here and if we look at wiseguy's original post he mention that the response from the golfer he offered to give advice "In the Future" says it all. "Never!"  Not to mention Wiseguy said he stood directly behind the golfer to I guess check out his alignment. That would drive me and most golfers I play with nuts! You can not fix a guy during a round with a playing tip. Let me ask you this how many times have you given someone a quick fix tip on the golf course and it worked? (Be honest) and further more how often has someone honestly thanked you for that golfing tip?

Now I know why starting times at our club championship is flighted Low handicaps go out first successively to the high handicap.

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I am glad you presented that scenario. My answer is the same I keep my mouth shut unless he asks for advice. The point is being missed here and if we look at wiseguy's original post he mention that the response from the golfer he offered to give advice "In the Future" says it all. "Never!"  Not to mention Wiseguy said he stood directly behind the golfer to I guess check out his alignment. That would drive me and most golfers I play with nuts! You can not fix a guy during a round with a playing tip. Let me ask you this how many times have you given someone a quick fix tip on the golf course and it worked? (Be honest) and further more how often has someone honestly thanked you for that golfing tip?

You should NEVER stand directly behind someone. The rule of thumb is to stand where he won't see you out of his peripheral vision.

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[QUOTE name="jsgolfer" url="/t/66756/i-hate-getting-paired-up-with-that-guy/108#post_930719"]   I never give unsolicited advice from strangers I play with, it's hard when someone is struggling but I won't say anything unless someone asks.  Besides it's hard to give advice during a round, because as soon as they try it and it doesn't work, they go right back to the way they were playing and then they are pissed at you for the rest of the round.  [/QUOTE] Thank you! That is all I am trying to say. If you your game is going haywire the last thing you need is some guy pointing out what he perceives to be the problem when you did not ask for advice. The thought of  a 28 handicap  handing out unsolicited advice makes absolutely no sense at all. I play with a guy who is self taught 9 handicap. His address on the tee looks like it will go way right  and out of bounds. Yet his drives are generally in the fairway with the prettiest little draw that you would die to have. Now if he starts losing it to right for some reason due to lost mechanics what good could it do to tell him that he is aiming too far right? I am a firm believer that offering advice during a round is 99 % counter productive. Particularly unsolicited advice. Call that snap-judgement all you want.

At first it seemed like you were borderline irrational about your opinions concerning advice, but I can see why it is not a good idea. On top of this, I did get partnered up with a golfer who stepped back every shot. Not only this, but his backswing did not look like anything that could keep the club in place much less bring the club head anywhere near the ball. It looked pretty horrible, but he had that nice slight draw and made at least half GIR. At this point, I'm not in the starting to learn golf mode anymore, and will probably refrain from giving any comments or especially advice to anyone. I should be thinking about my next shot anyway.

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What Not to say to a golfer after this shot:

Nice try Hunter...you'll get'em next time!

Another:

Woah Pard, you might want to slow down the backswing a little.  Do that and keep your right elbow in, and you'll be fine.

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Everybody knows people like that.  They are A) just trying to be encouraging, and B) likely basing their judgment on their own game.

My dad and father-in-law both pretty much say "nice shot" on every shot I hit that isn't horrendous, and my dad says "nice roll" on every single putt I hit regardless of its outcome.  (Of course, my dad is also the guy who, whenever anybody in our family is going anywhere that he is not going, will 100% of the time follow up his goodbye with a "be careful."  As if I was going to drive super recklessly until he reminded me not to.  "Good thing he said that ... Now I won't drive with my eyes closed because that's not 'careful.'")  All of that stuff can get irritating after time but it's just how they are.  I choose to ignore it when I can (easier said than done sometimes) rather than get worked up about it.

I think that's a parenting thing.  Both my parents still say this to both my sister and I.  She's been out of the house for over 20 years and me for 16. lol.

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You should NEVER stand directly behind someone. The rule of thumb is to stand where he won't see you out of his peripheral vision.

I'm guilty of this on my Weds foursome.  The guys I play with are all 35 years older than me.  I stand behind them because they have trouble seeing where their ball goes, and it gives me the best angle.  They've never said anything about it and always say they wish they had young eyes again. lol.  I guess I never thought of it as an issue.  When I'm hitting I see nothing but the ball, I could care less where anyone stands.  However, in the future I will make sure it doesn't bother them and I will deffinatly make sure I don't do it when I'm playing with strangers.

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I played this summer with a guy who hit a 50+ yard banana slice off the tee every time - it was comical.     He aimed 50 yards left & most of the time, it came back to the fairway (often, it had so much side spin it would bounce all the way across the fairway into the right rough).    He actually was a pretty good ball striker - made solid contact every time - just was swinging drastically out to in and sawing across the ball ... it would be such an easy fix, but it was clear - HE WAS OK WITH HIS SLICE & DIDN'T WANT TO FIX IT.     Soooooo, I bit my tongue and didn't say anything ... although I wanted to so bad - LOL !

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I have friend who loves to give advice,.. On Anything!!! He shoots mid 90's, hasn't improved for yrs yet he somehow knows everything I do wrong! I acknowledge his advice, but I make sure to give him real lame advice in return, like.. Next time, try not to shank it, or, next time try not to slice it, or, have you considered lessons! My motor went in the garage recently, told him what was wrong and he gave me 10 possibilities of what the problem was, I waited till he finished then pointed out that.."so really you have no idea what it is?" For me, Advice can only be taken seriously if it's from professionals, in any situation! If it comes from an incompetent source, then it should quite rightly be mocked!

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I played this summer with a guy who hit a 50+ yard banana slice off the tee every time - it was comical.     He aimed 50 yards left & most of the time, it came back to the fairway (often, it had so much side spin it would bounce all the way across the fairway into the right rough).    He actually was a pretty good ball striker - made solid contact every time - just was swinging drastically out to in and sawing across the ball ... it would be such an easy fix, but it was clear - HE WAS OK WITH HIS SLICE & DIDN'T WANT TO FIX IT.     Soooooo, I bit my tongue and didn't say anything ... although I wanted to so bad - LOL !


Naw I would leave it alone also, sounds like someone who plays a handful of times a year and is content with what he's got.

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I am glad you presented that scenario. My answer is the same I keep my mouth shut unless he asks for advice. The point is being missed here and if we look at wiseguy's original post he mention that the response from the golfer he offered to give advice "In the Future" says it all. "Never!"  Not to mention Wiseguy said he stood directly behind the golfer to I guess check out his alignment. That would drive me and most golfers I play with nuts! You can not fix a guy during a round with a playing tip. Let me ask you this how many times have you given someone a quick fix tip on the golf course and it worked? (Be honest) and further more how often has someone honestly thanked you for that golfing tip?

Now I know why starting times at our club championship is flighted Low handicaps go out first successively to the high handicap.


Again, you're making a snap judgment and you're wrong.  I never said I "stood directly behind the golfer."  I was standing about 20 feet back from the tee box and slightly to the left of my friend, out of his direct view and in an unobtrusive position, where I usually stand and where my playing partners usually stand when I'm hitting off the tee.  I was standing where one should stand, to watch the ball flight of one's playing companions' balls so as to help them find them if they are offline and cannot readily locate it - it's an important part of playing ready golf, to be able to help cut down on time spent looking for lost balls.

If you're being honest about the handicap you've posted as part of your profile, you must be a pretty considerable natural talent - you don't seem to know as much about the game of golf as one would expect of the typical single digit handicap player.  You also seem to be a pretty angry guy.

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On the next par-3, I stood behind him as he hit his tee shot and saw that he was aiming to the right of the green.  After he got kind of disgusted with the results of his shot, I told him that the ball went exactly where he was aiming and asked if in the future he wanted me to say anything if I noticed his aim was off.

Again, you're making a snap judgment and you're wrong.  I never said I "stood directly behind the golfer."  I was standing about 20 feet back from the tee box and slightly to the left of my friend, out of his direct view and in an unobtrusive position, where I usually stand and where my playing partners usually stand when I'm hitting off the tee.  I was standing where one should stand, to watch the ball flight of one's playing companions' balls so as to help them find them if they are offline and cannot readily locate it - it's an important part of playing ready golf, to be able to help cut down on time spent looking for lost balls.

If you're being honest about the handicap you've posted as part of your profile, you must be a pretty considerable natural talent - you don't seem to know as much about the game of golf as one would expect of the typical single digit handicap player.  You also seem to be a pretty angry guy.

Based on your earlier statement, it is easy to misunderstand.

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Based on your earlier statement, it is easy to misunderstand.


No, not really.  I made a rather general statement.  Club Ho, in his eagerness to assert what a terrific guy he is by putting someone else down (something I confess I used to do but discontinued around the middle of 9th grade), jumped to conclusions and chose to attribute to me a very narrow, specific interpretation of my words, even though there was no basis for so doing, in order to support his feeble attempts to claim I am an annoying fool.

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No, not really.  I made a rather general statement.  Club Ho, in his eagerness to assert what a terrific guy he is by putting someone else down (something I confess I used to do but discontinued around the middle of 9th grade), jumped to conclusions and chose to attribute to me a very narrow, specific interpretation of my words, even though there was no basis for so doing, in order to support his feeble attempts to claim I am an annoying fool.

Unless you're in 8th grade right now, the bold is a blatant lie. Do tell us again your thoughts on soccer, or women, and a variety of other topics about which you've been incredibly rude.

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Just spent the past 45 minutes reading people's opinions on this topic. I have had a few people ask me my opinion at the driving range about various swing issues but I will certainly be keeping my opinions to myself when on the course. Didn't know so many people felt that strongly about not getting advice. Makes sense though. If someone doesn't ask, don't offer, not matter how bad they suck. 2 cents...

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