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golfisme56

Buddy Trip Etiquette - Who's Right ?

44 posts in this topic

New to this site and don't know how to topic search yet but wanted to ask anyway.  I'll try to frame the question without indicating which side I am on.
Player A invites player B (both are friends) on a golf buddy trip and indicates he is trying to get at least 2 foursomes to play.  A few days later A indicates to B that since there were only 5 players to "sign up" that since B was the 5th to commit - that B would have to find an extra player if he wanted to participate.  Therefore - there would be enough players for at least 2 groups of three.  In other words - A did not think that 5 was enough for a good grouping for the trip since they would have divide into two groups of 3 and 2 for the courses they were playing.  B felt the 3/2 groupings were OK since they would be alternating during the 3 rounds to be played.  B also felt that since he was invited and committed that just because he was the last to commit - should not dictate that he (or anyone else) be "dropped" from the trip.
What do you think?
Thanks so much in advance for your reply!
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Sounds like player A is a pr!ck.  He is the one who invited B and now wants to either drop B or have B find others to play with???

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Asking all the players to 'help' find more players to fill out the roster is just fine.

Making it contingent upon Player B to achieve that or lose his slot is pretty crappy to dump on him.

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Originally Posted by golfisme56

New to this site and don't know how to topic search yet but wanted to ask anyway.  I'll try to frame the question without indicating which side I am on.

Player A invites player B (both are friends) on a golf buddy trip and indicates he is trying to get at least 2 foursomes to play.  A few days later A indicates to B that since there were only 5 players to "sign up" that since B was the 5th to commit - that B would have to find an extra player if he wanted to participate.  Therefore - there would be enough players for at least 2 groups of three.  In other words - A did not think that 5 was enough for a good grouping for the trip since they would have divide into two groups of 3 and 2 for the courses they were playing.  B felt the 3/2 groupings were OK since they would be alternating during the 3 rounds to be played.  B also felt that since he was invited and committed that just because he was the last to commit - should not dictate that he (or anyone else) be "dropped" from the trip.

What do you think?

Thanks so much in advance for your reply!

Interesting.  Without knowing all of the intricacies, I would just say that if I was "A," I would be asking everybody to help us find a 6th, or else I'd do my best to find a course that would allow 5-somes.  If 5-somes were not an option, and nobody else was found, then 3 and 2 it is.  I certainly would not put it on "B" to figure it out by himself.

I happen to have a sort of similar situation going on right now.  I'm organizing golf for a multi-family trip in late July.  There are 5 families total, and I know 3 of the guys (myself included) are golfers.  I have never talked to the other 2 about golf, so I always assumed they never played and wouldn't be interested.  Well, turns out I was wrong.  They are both interested.  Oops.  Well, one family bailed on the trip so now we're all set, but then they recommitted, so now I'm f***ed again.  But then they aren't coming until Saturday, so Sunday is the only problem.  I've got 1 tee time and 5 guys, but instead of trying to make a second tee time - because these guys are more of the "social" golfer type in that I think they are more interested in drinking with their buddies than the actual golf itself so 3 and 2 probably doesnt make a lot of sense - I'm just sticking with the one and hoping that either one of the families cancels or needs to leave early Sunday or one of the guys who played Saturday will just be too tired to play again.  (It's in Palm Springs, so perhaps one of us will spontaneously combust Saturday, so the problem will sort itself out )

If none of that happens and all 4 guys are fired up (pun intended) to play Sunday (doubtful, but could happen) then I may just back out myself and let them all hack it around.

Planning trips like this is hard!

EDIT:  Sorry Rehmwa, was writing while you posted ... agree 100%.

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If I had a friend invite me on a trip and then later said unless I find someone else that I am out, I would be a little pissed.  I probably wouldn't be good friends anymore with Player A.  IMO, a good friend wouldn't do that to you.

Player B should organize his own trip at the same time and take Players C,D,E and tell Player A to fly a kite.

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B realises that A is a complete jerk and happily terminates the friendship.

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Originally Posted by Shorty

B realises that A is a complete jerk and happily terminates the friendship.

This

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That is messed up of A, i would assume he is not a great freind of B?

If he was he should re-think his freindship.

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Sounds like player A is too uptight.  I can sympathize with the headache of planning the trip but 3 and 2 should be fine.  I can't see how it's so much different than 3 and 3.  I have no idea where you'll be playing . .but you might end up getting paired anyway . .2 players with the 2-some and a single with the 3-some . .so who cares?

I don't know if I'd go so far as to back out of the friendship but player A would probably end up on my disturbingly large list of friends who are pains in the asses.

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Did Player B commit in the time frame requested by Player A?  If not, then B can't be too upset that plans were made after he missed the RSVP date.

Otherwise, Player A should just relax and accept a 3 - 2 grouping if a 6th can't be found.  If I was B, I'd wonder if I was really the last to commit or there was some other reason A was trying to get me to back out.

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Player B wanted to play before reservations were made but Player A would not allow unless B found a 6th.

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I am purposely not trying to identify myself yet - hopeful to get more responses based on info given.  It appears that Player A is not very popular with other golfers so far.

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