What advice would you give Tiger?

[Chris E]

I'm neither a "fanboy" or a "hater" but if I had to be on one side of the scale, I'd lean towards the fanboy side.  And I would never suggest that he was faking it, and in fact scolded a few who did.  That said, I could not help but notice how gingerly he was walking and sitting all the way to his car, but then once in his car, he had to trouble at all spinning around to look behind him to make sure he didn't flatten any reporters.

I've had serious back problems before, and I could never twist like that (nor would I dare try).

Wow. Did the people you scolded recover from that trauma?

I have two ruptured disks in my neck C5 and C6, and have a fusion between C1 and C2 from a car accident nearly 30 years ago, and have arthritis down my spine. At times I have been immobile. Hopefully this makes me qualified to form an opinion without scolding lol.

[rkim291968]

Oh, my, how the mighty has fallen.     I am surprised that Tiger with all the past injuries and having nothing to prove in golf (other than winning a few more majors) has not quit yet.  My advice to Tiger is to quit.  Give it a rest.     After yesterday's round, I am convinced Tiger is done for good, glute or no glute.

[Golfingdad]

Wow. Did the people you scolded recover from that trauma?

I have two ruptured disks in my neck C5 and C6, and have a fusion between C1 and C2 from a car accident nearly 30 years ago, and have arthritis down my spine. At times I have been immobile. Hopefully this makes me qualified to form an opinion without scolding lol.

Yeah, the sentence sounds obnoxious but it wasn't meant to be.  I was just trying to say I'm not a Tiger hater, that's all. Those that were scolded couldn't have given a rat's ass (nor should they).

[Chris E]

Yeah, the sentence sounds obnoxious but it wasn't meant to be.  I was just trying to say I'm not a Tiger hater, that's all.   Those that were scolded couldn't have given a rat's ass (nor should they).

Good. I was beginning to think your persona on various forums was ______Dad, with pictures in my head of some righteous crank running around the internet scolding others for not acting right. I'm glad we got that cleared up.

Back on topic, I was thinking of some other advice I would give TW. I remember the crazy press conference he gave after he got caught screwing around. At the time I advised him to just STFU and not say anything, but he did it anyway. The haters think he looked like a fool, but the fanboys lapped it up like pitbulls on t-bones. I also advised him to at least get another cell phone....one for his extracurricular activities and one for the wife. Alas, he never listens to me.

Anyway I believe he should use that Buddha stuff he was talking about in his adultery press conference. He said that is what he would do, but he sure doesn't act like it with his cussing and angry antics at times. I've seen pictures of how peaceful those dudes look and Tiger doesn't look like that, so just think of how he could tune into Buddha and block out all of these swing thoughts. Plus it would lower his blood pressure.

He could also be like Luke Skywalker, with voices of Obi Wan dancing through his head while trying to shoot his laser beam into that hole to blow up the death star. You could have Butch as the voice of Obi Wan as Tiger stands over a chip. Of course, nobody can hear these voices in his head, kinda like nobody knows the extent of his injuries when he slices into the rough. TGC could do a voice over of Butch with some canned sayings during his swing, to get the fans close to the action. We are in the cockpit with Luke/Tiger! Think of the ratings, but we would have to beware of Brandel rolling his eyes during the wrap up show!

So, in summary I believe I have contributed many suggestions to Tiger on this thread. Let's summarize them here so we can reference each for further discussion, GolfingDad:

1) Reference Rory when he dumped his pro athlete GF. Maybe since they are in such good shape they wear you out in bed, which affects your game. Better to stick with waitresses, but those porn stars seem to be machines so who knows what the issue is here with athletic chicks and golf pros. That Wozniaki chick is a machine, though. She runs marathons, so maybe that is the line of sexual stamina demarcation on what can screw with your golf game, no pun intended.

2) Play in Phil's Tuesday games. Just think how he could hone his skills under pressure with his arch nemesis talking smack over $500 putts! That's 250 tips at Waffle House, so you know Tiger would take it seriously. Golf.com could even blog it! Mix in Keegan with his fidgety act in the background while Phil is talking smack as Tiger grimaces in pain from his glutes, and you have a must see bonanza. You could bring Holly Saunders back to skip around the green or something in those short golf skirts! The internet would blow up.

3) Watch John Daly's TGC specials. I see this week he is talking about putting. TW should not be so proud to look for advice from everywhere, even from drunks that dress like they just stumbled out of a clown car.

4) Time his grimaces to more closely follow his swing, instead of looking where the ball goes and then grimacing. Grimace all the time, immediately! This is not really a tip for his game, but it is good for PR and legacy discussions. It puts all that talk of just sucking on the back burner, pronto! "Oh look! Tiger striped it while in pain! isn't he awesome?" "Oh look, Tiger hit it OB because of his pain! If he was well he would beat everybody by 10 strokes!" I see no downside here.

5) Limit excuses to just back spasms. This is already established, no reason to embellish it with other issues like his butt hurting. Maybe his game is causing his butt to hurt, but he doesn't need to go there.

6) Engage Buddha to shoo away swing thoughts, and recall sage advice from Butch while standing over the ball. Remember Butch's voice as like an echo, like Luke and Obi Wan. He could imagine Hank Haney as that little rodent jumping around Jabba the Hut, you know the one R2D2 zapped. Chris Como could be R2D2!  May the force be with you!

What do you think, GolfingDad? You haven't really responded to my posts....you just slung a veiled reference to scolded haters piling onto Tiger, and how that was no good in your book. If Tiger does the things I suggest, then I think he wins 6 majors in a row and passes Jack like he is going in reverse.

Now, I've got to go the the gym and hurry back to watch the Tiger roundtable on TGC. I hope I don't have some fuzz to clean out of my navel when I get back, and end up missing that riveting must-see TV.

[JonMA1]

I have two ruptured disks in my neck C5 and C6, and have a fusion between C1 and C2 from a car accident nearly 30 years ago, and have arthritis down my spine. At times I have been immobile. Hopefully this makes me qualified to form an opinion without scolding lol.

Yes, that would make you an expert among the rest of us who also do not have medical degrees.

To what purpose does faking an injury serve? I mean, as opposed to just admitting "my game is just horrible right now". Seems like he would have used that excuse the week before. Probably didn't think about playing the injury card until this week.

Or, it's an elaborate plan to keep endorsements and possibly gain new ones - maybe some sort of back brace or medication contract?

You just never know. That Tiger Woods is a sly one. Hell, he even grabbed his back after making a pretty nice shot. Pure genius!

Now, I've got to go the the gym and hurry back to watch the Tiger roundtable on TGC. I hope I don't have some fuzz to clean out of my navel when I get back, and end up missing that riveting must-see TV.

You're right about this even if you paint a disgusting picture of personal hygiene. I'd rather eat a lead sandwich than to listen to a bunch of experts talk about it - that's what we're on this thread for. Hopefully, someone will uncover his master plan of deception.

[Chris E]

Yes, that would make you an expert among the rest of us who also do not have medical degrees.

To what purpose does faking an injury serve? I mean, as opposed to just admitting "my game is just horrible right now". Seems like he would have used that excuse the week before. Probably didn't think about playing the injury card until this week.

Or, it's an elaborate plan to keep endorsements and possibly gain new ones - maybe some sort of back brace or medication contract?

You just never know. That Tiger Woods is a sly one. Hell, he even grabbed his back after making a pretty nice shot. Pure genius!

You're right about this even if you paint a disgusting picture of personal hygiene. I'd rather eat a lead sandwich than to listen to a bunch of experts talk about it - that's what we're on this thread for. Hopefully, someone will uncover his master plan of deception.

I was just replying to GolfingDad, who was telling me his resume pertaining to back injuries with that little wink emoticon implying that he knows what he was talking about. Since that time, he has cleared that up his so we are all good. I normally don't tell people anything about my physical issues, so please ignore my disclosure...I wouldn't want it to taint any of your opinions inre to TW. Besides, I have never written anything about his physical ailments and how it could effect him, from my experience. This thread is about suggestions to him going forward.

I took alot of time to lay out my suggestions numerically, so in the future if you could refer to a specific number for discussion I would appreciate it. I have no idea what you are talking about with respect to my suggestions, but I will reply playing devil's advocate, the haters positions.

You see, Jon, a hater would listen to the past 6 months of glowing reports about how well his back is, about how he plays in the yard and hits '1000's' of shots in his quest to return to greatness. A hater would may say sitting around for a couple of hours and then starting to grimace after a few slices is BS. Just think of the odds inflicted upon our hero....1000's of shots and months of pain free living and it flares up on him from his but after a few shots at Torrey Pines!  The horror, our hero struck down when his puppet Notah on TGC is in full flight with the 'process' angle!

A hater may say these things.....ha! Crazy haters. The mind of those cretins is the vast unknown! We should just study them, and learn how not to be, Jon.

Fortunately, we have a history with TW of being on the up and up with the public and his fans. What he represents should never be questioned. Only the haters would question what comes out of his mouth and what he puts out for his eager fans to gobble up like a duck on a junebug, that only he would know. Oh wait.

Anyway, you're also right that I shouldn't share any personal hygiene details in the forum. Damn Jon, you are right just about everything! But, I think the fact that you think personal hygiene is disgusting should be a concern to you. I say this as a friend, Jon. Soap and cleanliness is your friend! Now, wash up!

[9iron]

Tiger needs to find a little known Canadian doctor to fix his problems on the down low. A doctor that knows special techniques and treatments that all the world class doctors in the U.S. have no knowledge of. On second thought, even that wouldn't work on his beat up aging body.

[iacas]

Sounds like you're singing a different tune and starting to realize what I've been saying for the past year.

Not how I see it, no. You basically had a lucky prediction at this point, and there's still time for that prediction to turn unlucky/wrong.

Lucky because it took several unlikely things to happen, including Tiger being stupid enough to mess around with his short game.

Just got a chance to watch some highlights from yesterday. His grimace timing is off.

I would suggest practicing the grimace in front of the mirror to where it more closely follows his swing. Right now he is looking where the ball goes before he grimaces

Good players know at impact (or before) if the shot is going to be decent or bad. He wouldn't have to wait to see where the shot was going - he'd know immediately.

[skydog]

Not how I see it, no. You basically had a lucky prediction at this point, and there's still time for that prediction to turn unlucky/wrong.

Lucky because it took several unlikely things to happen, including Tiger being stupid enough to mess around with his short game.

Wow, you're really gracious when you're wrong aren't you. Lucky with my prediction? Not quite. I said that I thought his back surgery and related nerve issues were career ending and that is looking to be the case at this point. And I'm not sure what 'several unlikely' things you're talking about unless you're counting butt deactivation and the chipping yips. Whatever weird direction Tiger decides to steer his 'comeback' dialogue aside, the issue is and will continue to be that his body (and potentially mental game) is shot. Could he find a miracle blood spinning doc in Europe to hand him the fountain of youth and prove me wrong? Sure it's possible, but I'll stick with my bet on this one.

[9iron]

Good players know at impact (or before) if the shot is going to be decent or bad. He wouldn't have to wait to see where the shot was going - he'd know immediately.

I think what skydog is saying is that Tiger's grimace isn't for himself, but rather for all the Tiger fanboys out there.

[newtogolf]

I think what skydog is saying is that Tiger's grimace isn't for himself, but rather for all the Tiger fanboys out there.

Fortunately I've never had back issues or spasms and probably wouldn't be able to tell if my glutes were activating or not.  That said, the timing of the grimace does seem a bit late in instances where he hits a bad shot.  Maybe there's more pain when he mishits or the producers are focused more on his facial reactions when he mishits.  I would expect him to show pain at impact but often the grimace comes after he's competed his swing and he's got an idea of where his ball is going.

At this point he should apply for medical exemption and take the season off.  If his back is so bad he can't finish a single round of golf then he needs to take time to heal and stop wasting slots that other pro's who are healthy and ready to compete could fill.

[JonMA1]

I took alot of time to lay out my suggestions numerically, so in the future if you could refer to a specific number for discussion I would appreciate it. I have no idea what you are talking about with respect to my suggestions, but I will reply playing devil's advocate, the haters positions.

All of them were hilarious. I can tell you put a great deal of work into it and am quite ashamed of myself for not showing the respect the effort deserves. I'm a very bad person.

You see, Jon, a hater would listen to the past 6 months of glowing reports about how well his back is, about how he plays in the yard and hits '1000's' of shots in his quest to return to greatness. A hater would may say sitting around for a couple of hours and then starting to grimace after a few slices is BS. Just think of the odds inflicted upon our hero....1000's of shots and months of pain free living and it flares up on him from his but after a few shots at Torrey Pines!  The horror, our hero struck down when his puppet Notah on TGC is in full flight with the 'process' angle!

A hater may say these things.....ha! Crazy haters. The mind of those cretins is the vast unknown! We should just study them, and learn how not to be, Jon.

I might be... what was it you called us... a TW fanboy. Only because the guy has done some amazing things in his career. Coming back as number one in his late 30's being pretty impressive. If I were alive to see Ben Hogan play, I'd probably be a Hogan fanboy. For all I know, Hogan was a real a-hole. Doesn't matter. The guy played pretty good golf against the world's best - the same as Tiger.

That doesn't mean I think Woods is in any way infallible or immortal. I won't argue whether he was greatest of all time and might even go as far as suggesting he didn't always play by the rules. So do I think he's incapable of lying about his injuries - of course not. What the hell do I know about him. Should I get my fanboy title stripped for stating these things?

But I get it. Maybe you get tired of all the TW fans defending everything he does. Or you get tired of all the hype surrounding him when there are so many other talented players. To each their own. You might even be right about him faking his back injury. It just didn't make sense to me, that's all.

If we're going to go off topic we might as well not hold back. Other folk's personal hygiene isn't something that concerns me either way - whether it's them picking at their navel while sitting in their Lazyboy watching GC or picking their nose while driving in traffic (ok, that does bother me a little).

Chris, I was just making light of the post - I understood your point about the round table discussion being boring. It was a good post and I didn't mean any offense with my response. Cheers.

[iacas]

Wow, you're really gracious when you're wrong aren't you.

I've been wrong a bunch of times before. The odds were against you, but thus far you've pulled it out. Do you want congratulations? Okay, great job making a random prediction! Wow! You got one thing right one time!

And there's still time that you could be proven wrong, though at this point I think Tiger's chances of retiring is north of 10-15%.

Lucky with my prediction?

Yep. People had said the same things before and were wrong. Keep predicting the same thing and eventually you'll be right.

I said that I thought his back surgery and related nerve issues were career ending and that is looking to be the case at this point.

Yet still too early to call.

And I'm not sure what 'several unlikely' things you're talking about unless you're counting butt deactivation and the chipping yips.

Tiger changing his short game so much is one of them, yeah. That was unlikely to happen.

I think what skydog is saying is that Tiger's grimace isn't for himself, but rather for all the Tiger fanboys out there.

He's still wrong about the timing.

[skydog]

I've been wrong a bunch of times before. The odds were against you, but thus far you've pulled it out. Do you want congratulations? Okay, great job making a random prediction! Wow! You got one thing right one time!

A simple, "looks like you might be right dude" would suffice. None of your typical condescension is necessary. I was routinely told by you and your minions last year to basically keep my mouth shut when I shared any thought that wasn't sunshine and daisies for Tiger's future. And if basing an opinion on personal and first hand injury accounts coupled with a pretty decent knowledge base of the game is a 'random prediction' then yes, it was just a thumb in the wind guess. Whatever makes you feel better dude.

He's still wrong about the timing.

I haven't made one comment on the timing of Tiger's grimace. I try and keep my 'random predictions' educated on here and I have no idea whether he's faking or not on the course. Wouldn't be surprised either way. He definitely has a finanacial incentive to drag this 'comeback' out and convince us all for another while longer that his body isn't finished but I honestly don't know.

[jamo]

Lucky with my prediction? Not quite.

The only other option is that you truly can see the future. If that the case, well, I guess you're lucky we don't burn witches anymore.

[iacas]

A simple, "looks like you might be right dude" would suffice. None of your typical condescension is necessary.

There's no condescension. But why gloat over something that was mostly luck? It's like gloating for winning a lottery ticket, especially when it's like some weird lottery ticket where a bunch of people lose out rather than you actually "winning" anything?

Congrats. You guessed well. Woooooo!

I was routinely told by you and your minions

Not necessary. Grow up.

I haven't made one comment on the timing of Tiger's grimace.

That was @Chris E , but you can blame @9iron for confusing that. I clearly quoted him and responded to his statement.

The only other option is that you truly can see the future. If that the case, well, I guess you're lucky we don't burn witches anymore.

Yup. Congrats again. Woooooooo!

[Hammer 4]

O.K....this is actually starting to get funny...carry on...

[skydog]

There's no condescension. But why gloat over something that was mostly luck? It's like gloating for winning a lottery ticket, especially when it's like some weird lottery ticket where a bunch of people lose out rather than you actually "winning" anything?

Congrats. You guessed well. Woooooo!

You do realize that by your logic all opinions about future events shared on this and other internet forums are nothing but wild guesses?  Individual knowledge sets are meaningless and each person from a Vegas oddsmaker to the homeless guy under the bridge has the same odds of being right or wrong about predicting the outcome of  a game or an athlete's career.  And you've started a forum and spend countless hours each year reading, posting, and monitoring nothing but random, might as well be-computer generated guesses about the future? Seems odd.

I was never gloating by mentioning that you were singing a different tune but if you had been attacked by 90% of the forum for voicing an opinion that now seems to be the consensus view, you might feel the same way as I do. Anyways I'm done here.