Newbie Etiquette

[Das_onionknight]

This weekend I played 3 rounds of golf, 2 times on a par 72 Championship course and once on an Executive course. This smaller Executive course has par 4's and a par 5 so it is a good place to play cheaply for a good golf day out. 

 

Normally I play this course with my buddy when he is down. This weekend his brother asked if he could join us, to which I had no issues with. The problem is that his brother is not athletic at all and does not have any sort of sport skill at all. This caused him to have short drives and no accuracy, although, his chipping was bang on 80 percent ftom 20 yards out, with the odd shot flying 60 yards.

I knew that it was going to be a long game and that's why the smaller course was great. But because he also could not hit far I suggested that while my friend and I play a normal round his brother should play best ball choosing who he wants to drop his ball from. We had agreed but once the brother saw that we were playing a real game with our scores he wanted to do the same and gave up on the best ball idea. 

To be honest it was kind of annoying because it clearly held people up, so much so that I had to wave 4 groups past us. 

I remember playing for the first time and I played in a way that because I was a bit more athlectic I could hit the ball long distances just not accurate. So when I first played I would play my shot and if I lost my ball I would play it where I think I lost it or from my partners ball and thus I was able to keep pace and not get in anyone's way. 

So what is proper etiquette for playing with someone who has no athletic ability and hits a golf ball ten yards at a time. Was my suggestion of best ball so bad? In the end he gets to play the same number of shots that we do, is it wrong that it bugs me that people who take 15 to 20 shots on a hole want to record thier game?

In the end if there was no one waiting I wouldn't care. I have dropped 10 tee shots on a hole before when the course was empty but what happened over the weekend was just a bit much, even though we did have a ton of fun. 

Edited July 5, 2016 by Das_onionknight
Missing letter

[bkuehn1952]

21 minutes ago, Das_onionknight said:

So what is proper etiquette for playing with someone who has no athletic ability and hits a golf ball ten yards at a time. Was my suggestion of best ball so bad? In the end he gets to play the same number of shots that we do, is it wrong that it bugs me that people who take 15 to 20 shots on a hole want to record their game?

I understand your dilemma.  If your group is moving slowly enough for 4 groups to play through, you are correct that your friend's brother was creating too much of a slowdown.

It may have been best to have abandoned playing my own ball.  Every other hole have the brother play as partner with either you or his brother.  Keep score that way.  It is one round out of many so playing a team game isn't too large a sacrifice.

We always play a 2-person scramble with my grandchildren, spouse or a beginner except on an empty par 3 course.  No delays for everyone else, I get a bit of practice and the other player is included in a serious game - yes I make sure we do the very best we can in the scramble.

[Das_onionknight]

1 minute ago, bkuehn1952 said:

We always play a 2-person scramble with my grandchildren, spouse or a beginner except on an empty par 3 course.  No delays for everyone else, I get a bit of practice and the other player is included in a serious game - yes I make sure we do the very best we can in the scramble.

Just for my own ignnorence what is a scramble format. I am scared to play again but I think that him joining us may be a repeat event, and because it is his brother I don't want to be mean so I am willing to try new formats to make it interesting for the brother. 

[Valleygolfer]

I suggest you talk to his brother about handling this prior to playing again. Maybe a max of ten shots and he's out of your "scoring game", what ever it is.

Give him a lesson on golf etiquette as well. Nicely of course. Explain to him that the golf course and people playing behind you require timely play and golf is more than just hacking away to the hole. If he doesn't want to do this, maybe it will just be you and his brother.

[Hardspoon]

11 minutes ago, Das_onionknight said:

Just for my own ignnorence what is a scramble format. I am scared to play again but I think that him joining us may be a repeat event, and because it is his brother I don't want to be mean so I am willing to try new formats to make it interesting for the brother. 

A scramble format is when everyone plays their shot from the location of the best previous shot (a lot of people refer to this as "best ball", but that is actually something different).

I agree that he needs to do something different...it is clearly affecting your enjoyment. 

[Das_onionknight]

6 minutes ago, Valleygolfer said:

I suggest you talk to his brother about handling this prior to playing again. Maybe a max of ten shots and he's out of your "scoring game", what ever it is.

Give him a lesson on golf etiquette as well. Nicely of course. Explain to him that the golf course and people playing behind you require timely play and golf is more than just hacking away to the hole. If he doesn't want to do this, maybe it will just be you and his brother.

I do agree with you 100%, but the problem is I did explain everything but his attitude is well I pay so I should be able to play how I want. If nothing changes it won't be him and me it will be him and his brother. I am not a member of this club but I go there enough that member are starting to know me and I don't want to ruin that. 

[Valleygolfer]

7 minutes ago, Das_onionknight said:

I do agree with you 100%, but the problem is I did explain everything but his attitude is well I pay so I should be able to play how I want. If nothing changes it won't be him and me it will be him and his brother. I am not a member of this club but I go there enough that member are starting to know me and I don't want to ruin that. 

Then just tell him fine and that you are not going to play with him because it's against the rules of the club. You don't have to play with him. I would not enjoy playing anymore if I had to play that way.

[krupa]

Where was your buddy during all this?  My friends and family would be the first to tell me that I need to just pick up and move on. If I insisted on playing out every hole, my family/friends would leave me behind.  

In any event, talk to your buddy and tell him that you don't mind playing with his brother but that his brother needs to either pick up after 8-10 strokes or drop a ball at 150 yards or something.  Or find a cheaper, more casual place to play with them, or just don't play with the brother anymore.   

[mcanadiens]

It's a tough deal when you are a straight newbie. I was one not long ago. Unlike your buddy there, I was very mindful about my pace of play. At the same time, it gutted me every time I wasn't able to play out each shot to the hole's conclusion. Sometimes, there was no option other than to pick up when we had people waiting. We'd throw a 12 on the card and move on. Hated that.

Playing the shorter course is definitely the way to go. The only other thing you can do is try to pick a time when the course will be the least busy. Also encourage the guy to practice and get lessons. 

 

 

 

[RH31]

Just let him and his brother know that pace of play, regardless of skill level, is an important part of the game. Make it clear if they can't find a way to keep a reasonable pace, you'll play with someone else.

[Das_onionknight]

1 hour ago, mcanadiens said:

It's a tough deal when you are a straight newbie. I was one not long ago. Unlike your buddy there, I was very mindful about my pace of play. At the same time, it gutted me every time I wasn't able to play out each shot to the hole's conclusion. Sometimes, there was no option other than to pick up when we had people waiting. We'd throw a 12 on the card and move on. Hated that.

Playing the shorter course is definitely the way to go. The only other thing you can do is try to pick a time when the course will be the least busy. Also encourage the guy to practice and get lessons. 

 

I think that when it comes to newbies and golf there is a need to hear the clunk of the bottom of the hole. I strive to hear that noise when I play but for me the noise is the reward. No noise means I need to work harder next time. 

I also think that him playing with us is a jealousy thing, where as, we are both addicted to golf so when he comes down all he wants to do is play golf and not hang with his brother. I think that his want to play golf is to spend time with him, but as far as lessons go it won't happen because there is no love for the game. 

I knew after my first game I was hooked within a week I was at the driving range for about a month with fitted clubs before I played another round. But because of a lack of love on the brothers part I feel whenever he joins us it will never get better. 

[colin007]

Par 3 courses are your friends.

[xcott]

Play stableford and then everyone can pick up their ball when they're over a bogey. Bad golfers can play with a decent pace. I'd talk to him about how to play with a better pace. we've all been bad before, he deserves to play golf as much as anyone else. Just talk to him about pace of play. 

[Das_onionknight]

17 minutes ago, colin007 said:

Par 3 courses are your friends.

No doubt. But where I am we have one par 3 course and it is about 10 bucks more expensive to play as well as it is so busy tee times are seperated by 5 minuts intervals and they are busy from morning to night. I am worried about holdING people up again with slow play again. At least the executive course there are par 4's and tee times are spaced more apart. But I get what you are saying less yardage for him to hit through. 

2 hours ago, krupa said:

Where was your buddy during all this?  My friends and family would be the first to tell me that I need to just pick up and move on. If I insisted on playing out every hole, my family/friends would leave me behind.  

In any event, talk to your buddy and tell him that you don't mind playing with his brother but that his brother needs to either pick up after 8-10 strokes or drop a ball at 150 yards or something.  Or find a cheaper, more casual place to play with them, or just don't play with the brother anymore.   

I am scared to alienate my only real golfing buddy 8 times out of ten I play alone or solo in a group of people I don't know. 

[MrDC]

It's not easy because a beginner wants to join in the fun, but a beginner should be very cautious playing on a full course, they must play by unwritten beginner rules, which means pick up after double the par (15-20 shots is not even remotely acceptable) and bad tees shots are picked up and dropped on to the fairway by the others, you simply cannot hold up play for partners or others because you're a beginner, not cool at all.

I'm just glad I had the right instruction at first and was told that I can't do it, people that take out beginners are just asking for trouble, glad you had fun though.

[xcott]

If you're buddy will stop golfing with you because you help him help his brother's pace, then he's not much of a buddy.

[krupa]

8 minutes ago, Das_onionknight said:

I am scared to alienate my only real golfing buddy 8 times out of ten I play alone or solo in a group of people I don't know. 

I understand where you're coming from but by not saying anything, you're the one being alienated. However, you said you had a lot of fun, so is the brother your problem or the fact that you're worried about what other people are thinking?   

The only other decent option is to find a fourth and play 2-man scrambles.  However, if you're playing a public course and letting groups play through, I don't really see a problem.  The brother should pick up after -- at most -- 10 strokes and shouldn't waste time with writing down a number (god that'd be so demoralizing!) but if he's unwilling to do that and you're unwilling to confront the issue, 2-man scrambles is going to be your next best option.

Final thought:  if the brother is as bad as you say, chances are, he's going to play a few times and either decide to practice/take lessons or quit. 15-20 strokes per hole is no way to enjoy golf.

[Das_onionknight]

40 minutes ago, krupa said:

I understand where you're coming from but by not saying anything, you're the one being alienated. However, you said you had a lot of fun, so is the brother your problem or the fact that you're worried about what other people are thinking?   

You know, I am not worried about what other people are thinking, it's more that when I started out I paid my dues and tried real hard to learn the unwritten rules because the person who started me on golf showed me how important they were. It would be crappy of me to say that we could have done what we wanted because we paid money at the expense of others that paid the same. 

It's like the saying goes "do unto other as you would have them do to you," and I get irked when others break eidquette. It was less of a problem and more of an irritation that there was a refusal to at least try to accept to follow a faster pace of play, because when I am stuck behind slower players that take so long to finish one hole it really does drive me. That is why I developed my swing at the range before I went back to play a second round of golf when I started. 

I think less problem for what others are thinking and more about respect, I guess is what I am trying to say. 

Edited July 5, 2016 by Das_onionknight
Correction