Club Comp playing with other members..the Good and BAD

[NZ Golfer]

Really enjoy playing mid-week club comp .. always get to meet new guys sometimes others from other clubs or countries etc.

Generally, play good golf as its semi-serious mostly lower HC players ... plenty respect etc 

But last game I was paired up with two old school mates (in their late 40's) and outside teeing off and putting they would be talking mostly between themselves hows your holidays bah bah ... for a start it wasn't much of issues I don't mind talking rubbish like the best of them but generally I'm out to play and focus on Golf and talk Golf etc ..

But right from the practice greens to the bar after these two guys wouldn't stop talking 5hrs+ of it ... 

mentally I'm sure it affected my game as I played really average where for them no matter how bad they tee'd off they would score well with brilliant recoveries where I was getting heating from poor putting chips irons but was driving huge drives to release some of the anger to back it up with stupid shots ...

Interesting how others have dealt with playing with guys for the first time the Good and Bad 

[David in FL]

In a competitive round, I’m not expecting much social interaction at all unless I’m paired with people I know very welI.  I play my game and other than politely responding to comments directed my way, I simply ignore any mindless chatter and focus on what I’m doing.  

It’s easy to blame outside distractions for poor play, but honestly, the fault lies with you.  The ability to not allow yourself to get distracted is an important skill to develop if you want to play well competitively.  

[Patch]

I play a few competitive rounds, in my age group, during the year. I treat those rounds the same as I do the ones for fun, and a score. I just hit the ball, go find it, and hit it again. At the end of play, the score takes care of itself. 

Pretty sure I have mentioned this before, but (imho) golfers who let other golfers intimidate them, in anyway, need to work on their own mental game. The golfer is playing against the course set up, and the weather. Both of those, the golfer can't really control. The golfer adjusts to those situations. 

The golfer who lets other's actions influence his/her game, is not adjusting very well, to a situation they can personally control. I call it "just ignore the bs". I have a great pre-shot routine that helps me do just that. Other times, I might decide to have some fun, and give the other golfer a taste of their own medicine. 

When golfing with strangers, after an introduction, I tend to start out minding my own business. If the round finishes up that way, that's fine. If not, and we converse, talk some smack, and get along well,  that's fine too. 

[saevel25]

Some people talk a lot because they know it relaxes them and can throw their opponent off balance. 

Its something you can get use to though.

[Sandy Divot]

I don't mind guys talking between shots, and I enjoy talking between shot, too. Sometimes I feel like I'm interrupting guy's conversations with my golf. Just be quiet when someone is getting ready to hit.

[NZ Golfer]

6 hours ago, David in FL said:

In a competitive round, I’m not expecting much social interaction at all unless I’m paired with people I know very welI.  I play my game and other than politely responding to comments directed my way, I simply ignore any mindless chatter and focus on what I’m doing.  

It’s easy to blame outside distractions for poor play, but honestly, the fault lies with you.  The ability to not allow yourself to get distracted is an important skill to develop if you want to play well competitively.  

Yes, my mental game needs to improve, easy to say don't let it distract you but if your game isn't on its easy to dig a hole mentally, would have to be the hardest part of the game. I did hit -10 HC yesterday with a much stronger mental game with the same mate I played utter rubbish with a week ago... so going in the right direction

Previous weeks comp played with low 4 HC player who would on many occasions end up walking up in front of other players ( shorter hittings in the group) before they would take there shot. never did it to me as generally wasn't putting it in front of me.. but did get told to get the hell out of the way a few times 

 

[NZ Golfer]

4 hours ago, Patch said:

I play a few competitive rounds, in my age group, during the year. I treat those rounds the same as I do the ones for fun, and a score. I just hit the ball, go find it, and hit it again. At the end of play, the score takes care of itself. 

Pretty sure I have mentioned this before, but (imho) golfers who let other golfers intimidate them, in anyway, need to work on their own mental game. The golfer is playing against the course set up, and the weather. Both of those, the golfer can't really control. The golfer adjusts to those situations. 

The golfer who lets other's actions influence his/her game, is not adjusting very well, to a situation they can personally control. I call it "just ignore the bs". I have a great pre-shot routine that helps me do just that. Other times, I might decide to have some fun, and give the other golfer a taste of their own medicine. 

When golfing with strangers, after an introduction, I tend to start out minding my own business. If the round finishes up that way, that's fine. If not, and we converse, talk some smack, and get along well,  that's fine too. 

I don't think I was intimidated I actually enjoyed talking with the guys and esp over a drink in the clubhouse .. but for me, I like to soak in the environment of playing golf which generally comes about in peace.. I don't get the vibe if two guys out of four and talking away like my wife and BFF on most every topic but golf from the start to end of the match .. maybe in the states its more commonplace ??

I do play a lot of solo golf ....maybe I need to practice with radio talk in one ear ..

[klineka]

20 minutes ago, NZ Golfer said:

I do play a lot of solo golf ....maybe I need to practice with radio talk in one ear ..

I think that would be against the rules of golf in a comp.

17 hours ago, NZ Golfer said:

But last game I was paired up with two old school mates (in their late 40's) and outside teeing off and putting they would be talking mostly between themselves hows your holidays bah bah ...

mentally I'm sure it affected my game 

Let me make sure I understand this. Two of your playing partners that talked mostly between themselves somehow affected your mental game and caused you to play poorly? 

As long as they weren't talking while I was making any of my strokes, I don't care how much any of my playing competitors talk to one another.  That affects me in no way whatsoever.

If they started talking to me a lot and I wanted to focus on my game or something, I would either just tell them that nicely, or just stand/walk further away from them to avoid conversation. 

[NZ Golfer]

4 minutes ago, klineka said:

I think that would be against the rules of golf in a comp.

Let me make sure I understand this. Two of your playing partners that talked mostly between themselves somehow affected your mental game and caused you to play poorly? 

As long as they weren't talking while I was making any of my strokes, I don't care how much any of my playing competitors talk to one another.  That affects me in no way whatsoever.

If they started talking to me a lot and I wanted to focus on my game or something, I would either just tell them that nicely, or just stand/walk further away from them to avoid conversation. 

Practice not in comp .. with having talking on one ear etc. to mimic what it was like.

No, I wouldn't blame anyone but myself for making many mental mistakes in my gameplay on the day..

So you say it wouldn't affect you at all? if say me and my mate was playing with you in comp and seconds prior to you hitting the ball to right after making contact with your shot we were talking like say you're at a bar with them mostly about topics outside the game....for the WHOLE ROUND. 

If so I am impressed and I really need to work on my mental strength in the game to reach that complete focus ... I bet you could watch the masters on TV and have others talking constantly beside you for 4hrs+ solid and not be affected LOL

 

[ncates00]

4 minutes ago, NZ Golfer said:

So you say it wouldn't affect you at all? if say me and my mate was playing with you in comp and seconds prior to you hitting the ball to right after making contact with your shot we were talking like say you're at a bar with them mostly about topics outside the game....for the WHOLE ROUND. 

@NZ GolferAs long as it's not during your shot, you seriously need to get over yourself.  Sorry to be so blunt, but geez.  I'm not a talker, mind you.  But, seriously, no one is going to like you if you're going to be this kind of person.  As @klineka pointed out, if they are talking during your shot, you've got every right to call them out.  I have and will do so if people are doing that.  Even subtle moving around, shadows moving, talking, and taking clubs out of the bag/putting them back in during my shot, I will say something.  But if that's not the case, you need some serious help my friend.  That's on YOU casting blame.  They call it an external locus of control--someone else's fault.  That's not how to assess this.  You need to be real with your own flaws and remedy this.

Edited April 7, 2019 by ncates00

[mcanadiens]

I'd take talkers over two guys that really, seriously dislike each other any day.

You end up with odd mixes in club competition sometimes. It isn't any fun when there is tension on every tee and green.

[NZ Golfer]

5 minutes ago, ncates00 said:

@NZ GolferAs long as it's not during your shot, you seriously need to get over yourself.  Sorry to be so blunt, but geez.  I'm not a talker, mind you.  But, seriously, no one is going to like you if you're going to be this kind of person.  As @klineka pointed out, if they are talking during your shot, you've got every right to call them out.  I have and will do so if people are doing that.  Even subtle moving around, shadows moving, talking, and taking clubs out of the bag/putting them back in during my shot, I will say something.  But if that's not the case, you need some serious help my friend.  That's on YOU casting blame.  They call it an external locus of control--someone else's fault.  That's not how to assess this.  You need to be real with your own flaws and remedy this.

LOL- I'm not "some don't talk ever" Nazi Geeezzz .... More than happy to play with the same guys again and will be much more focused next time.. easy to make up your mind that I'm some kind of anti-social chip on my shoulder cloud following me around the course Nazi LOL  ....

[ncates00]

3 hours ago, NZ Golfer said:

LOL- I'm not "some don't talk ever" Nazi Geeezzz .... More than happy to play with the same guys again and will be much more focused next time.. easy to make up your mind that I'm some kind of anti-social chip on my shoulder cloud following me around the course Nazi LOL  ....

Ok, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.  But seriously man, if you're going to blame others' enjoyment and fellowship on the golf course for your lack of performance, you've got some issues that need addressed.  Given that you haven't stated that the guys involved talked during your swing, you really don't have much to complain about.  I spotted you the argument and would be on your side had they acted this way during your shot; I'm with you.  But given the course of this threat, that doesn't seem to be the case. 

I never said you were a course Nazi nor did I "make up my mind" that you are.  I don't know you.  I'm only going off of the statements you've offered.  My advice: play golf and enjoy the company of others.  Life is too short to be casting blame.  Man up and own the fact that you didn't play well.  You're only hurting your own game by appropriating blame on others for your score.  People do a good job of lying to themselves and comforting themselves to "pad" their own egos.  Just like guys who say they hit driver 300 yards, when maybe once they've done it on a down-wind, down hill hole cutting a dogleg.  We lie to our selves to make us feel and project we're better than we actually are. 

Maybe you're doing that; maybe you're searching for some reason why you played bad when, perhaps, you've been on a good streak and lowering your handicap.  I don't know, man.  But what I do know is you need to take it easy and not take this so seriously.  I'm far from the best golfer on this forum, but if you're playing off around 10, as I think you said, I'm playing a better standard than you and I take my golf seriously, but this is overkill buddy.  Take it from me, as a somewhat OCD, cranky type myself, you're only hurting yourself and you won't be fun to be around.

[NZ Golfer]

 I think maybe I should have worded it better, I don't blame the guys for my game but found it harder mentally as I've never come across it before in the excess nature..

Also in no ways did the guys I played with have issues with me trying to focus on my at times woeful game on the day, of course,  after the game we had a few drinks certainly enjoyed each other company and will likely be paired up together in the future...

I personally think it was a combination of factors on the day...I didn't get the best sleep the night before and trying my best to focus on my game but let outside factors get to my game.

last game I see was 6.9 HC diff so certainly going in the right direction

 

[boogielicious]

12 hours ago, NZ Golfer said:

 I think maybe I should have worded it better, I don't blame the guys for my game but found it harder mentally as I've never come across it before in the excess nature..

Also in no ways did the guys I played with have issues with me trying to focus on my at times woeful game on the day, of course,  after the game we had a few drinks certainly enjoyed each other company and will likely be paired up together in the future...

I personally think it was a combination of factors on the day...I didn't get the best sleep the night before and trying my best to focus on my game but let outside factors get to my game.

last game I see was 6.9 HC diff so certainly going in the right direction

 

FWIW, my wife and I played with a very close friend of ours two weekends ago. Our friend never stopped talking, even when she was hitting! It was making me crazy. I think I will wear earplugs next time.

[Bucki1968]

I played golf yesterday with a couple of friends I have played with for years. I actually don't play much with them anymore because one of the guys hits numerous balls. He's literally one of those guys who will hit three or four tee shots until he gets a good one. He usually does not hold up play so usually it's not a big deal but after about 12-13 holes of this,I start to lose interest in playing. Yesterday took well over four hours to play on a golf course that I really don't like so that made it even tougher (because of the groups in front of us). I hardly ever shoot a good score when I play with them and I feel bad because I don't like playing with them as much as I used to. The last five or six holes yesterday all I wanted to do was quit and go get a beer. I do like talking to them so it's one of those rounds that I just don't put too much thought into. I literally don't think I lined up yesterday on the whole back nine or even made a practice swing. I guess I should just see if we can meet up for beer and wings instead of golf from now on.

[Groucho Valentine]

On 4/7/2019 at 3:05 PM, saevel25 said:

Some people talk a lot because they know it relaxes them and can throw their opponent off balance. 

Its something you can get use to though.

Yeah.. In match play anyway. In medal play you only have yourself to blame if distractions are affecting your game. But in match play if i see that banter is irritating my opponent ill talk to him even more. Especially if he's beating me.. 😆