Golf Advertising Written by Non-Golfers

[Double Mocha Man]

I guess it's a pet peeve.  I just received this online marketing piece from LaQuinta:

Enjoy a complimentary round of golf after check-in at our championship golf courses during your next stay at La Quinta Resort and PGA WEST. Take advantage of this exclusive offer for the unique opportunity to tee off on some of the best greens that have made La Quinta Resort one of the highest rated golf resorts in North America.

Well, they won't be the best greens when I tee off from them with a 7 iron!

[Missouri Swede]

They probably just didn’t keep up with the most recent revision to the Rules and were thinking of the older rule. (jk)

Quote

1. The "Tee The Ball Next to the Hole" Rule

Rule:"You must tee your ball within a club's length of the hole"

This is the first entry from the earliest known rules of the game, written by the Gentlemen Golfers of Leith in 1744. Back in the olden days of links play, there were no tee boxes. After holing, players would lay their club down and set off for the next hole right there. As the rules were developed, players would tee off farther and farther away until courses began the practice of installing tee boxes to mark the beginning of each hole.

 

[Shindig]

Well, if you choose to take them up on the offer, please take me along.  I have a 50/50 chance of leaving the green unscathed! 

[David in FL]

8 hours ago, Shindig said:

Well, if you choose to take them up on the offer, please take me along.  I have a 50/50 chance of leaving the green unscathed! 

It would certainly increase my GIR’s though!  

[mcanadiens]

18 hours ago, Double Mocha Man said:

tee off on some of the best greens

What a concept! 

I could use my putter off the tee and put away that stupid driver permanently.

[Patch]

7W, less damage. Of course it would depend how big the green is, and how far away the pin is. 

[Double Mocha Man]

3 minutes ago, Patch said:

7W, less damage. Of course it would depend how big the green is, and how far away the pin is. 

If the next hole is only a wedge away LaQuinta is not going to like it. (I've been known to take 12" divots with a wedge... a superintendent's worst nightmare)  And they'll have to fire their novice copywriter.

[ChetlovesMer]

Here's a similar story: 

I was playing in an outing and they had "something" going on for each par 3. You know win a car with a hole in one. Win a prize for closest to the pin. Get entered in a drawing for hitting the green. What ever. 

There were these 2 ladies set up behind the first par 3 on the back 9. They had a little table and a canopy. It's a shotgun start so our group got to see them first. The one lady says to us. "For 5 dollars you can have a chance to win."

"Win what?" I ask. 

"If you hit your ball onto the grass you get a box of balls." 

I was a little confused because there's no water on the hole. I'm like "If I hit ball onto the grass? I win a box of balls?... are you sure?"

She looks at the other lady. "Yes!" they are both nodding. The non-talking lady is pulling out boxes of Pro_V1's and setting them on the table. 

Okay, "Here's my 5 dollars." I'm thinking all I have to do is not hit it in the big sand trap guarding the short left. I hit my ball on the green. 

The next guy in my group gives her 5 bucks and hits his ball to the fringe. 

"Aw, you're not on the grass, you don't win."

He's like "What, I am on the grass." 

"No your not." She says, "But it was a pretty good shot."

He repeats himself. "What are you talking about, I am on the grass."

She's like "No you got to hit it onto the grass!"

"Do you mean the green?"

"Is that what that grassy part is called?"

"Yeah, that's what it's called."

 "Oh, yeah, then you have to hit it on the green to get a box of balls." Then the best part. "Since YOU were confused, I'll give you another chance." 

The guy started getting really annoyed. "First of all, I wasn't confused. YOU were. Second of all. I DON'T get another chance. That's not how golf works."

After everyone hit, she gives me a sleeve of balls. I smile at her and try to be extra nice; realizing she knows nothing about golf. "I don't want to start another argument, but this is called a SLEEVE of balls. Not a BOX of balls." 

"Oh, okay." She says. 

[Double Mocha Man]

Golf has some weird language you don't find in real life.  😊  Though the curse words are about the same.

[Carl3]

37 minutes ago, ChetlovesMer said:

Here's a similar story: 

I was playing in an outing and they had "something" going on for each par 3. You know win a car with a hole in one. Win a prize for closest to the pin. Get entered in a drawing for hitting the green. What ever. 

There were these 2 ladies set up behind the first par 3 on the back 9. They had a little table and a canopy. It's a shotgun start so our group got to see them first. The one lady says to us. "For 5 dollars you can have a chance to win."

"Win what?" I ask. 

"If you hit your ball onto the grass you get a box of balls." 

I was a little confused because there's no water on the hole. I'm like "If I hit ball onto the grass? I win a box of balls?... are you sure?"

She looks at the other lady. "Yes!" they are both nodding. The non-talking lady is pulling out boxes of Pro_V1's and setting them on the table. 

Okay, "Here's my 5 dollars." I'm thinking all I have to do is not hit it in the big sand trap guarding the short left. I hit my ball on the green. 

The next guy in my group gives her 5 bucks and hits his ball to the fringe. 

"Aw, you're not on the grass, you don't win."

He's like "What, I am on the grass." 

"No your not." She says, "But it was a pretty good shot."

He repeats himself. "What are you talking about, I am on the grass."

She's like "No you got to hit it onto the grass!"

"Do you mean the green?"

"Is that what that grassy part is called?"

"Yeah, that's what it's called."

 "Oh, yeah, then you have to hit it on the green to get a box of balls." Then the best part. "Since YOU were confused, I'll give you another chance." 

The guy started getting really annoyed. "First of all, I wasn't confused. YOU were. Second of all. I DON'T get another chance. That's not how golf works."

After everyone hit, she gives me a sleeve of balls. I smile at her and try to be extra nice; realizing she knows nothing about golf. "I don't want to start another argument, but this is called a SLEEVE of balls. Not a BOX of balls." 

"Oh, okay." She says. 

Hey, these people are usually volunteers that are getting a day off work to help their boss' organization. Be nice 

[ChetlovesMer]

1 minute ago, Carl3 said:

Hey, these people are usually volunteers that are getting a day off work to help their boss' organization. Be nice 

I WAS nice. One of the guys in my group... hmmm.... not so much. 
He also might have been a bit pissy because he missed the green. 

[Double Mocha Man]

1 hour ago, ChetlovesMer said:

I WAS nice. One of the guys in my group... hmmm.... not so much. 
He also might have been a bit pissy because he missed the green. 

No, he missed the grass. 😊

[ChetlovesMer]

4 minutes ago, Double Mocha Man said:

No, he missed the grass. 😊

Good one. I laughed out loud. Or LOL as the kids say. 

[Double Mocha Man]

Here's how I won a brand new Corvette last year.  Scramble tournament, 2 ladies from a local auto dealership at a table next to the 12th tee.  Hole in one wins the Corvette parked next to the green.  I pays up my 5 bucks to enter and stroke a good 7 iron onto the grass (green).  I sink the 30 foot putt and the women are screaming, "Hole in one!  Hole in one!"  Who am I to question things?  Grab the keys, put my clubs in the back seat (Corvettes don't have roomy trunks) and drive off to the Black Cat to celebrate.

In all seriousness, these volunteers from the bank, auto dealership or local brewery are gems... smiling at our bad jokes and all.  But the person who stations them there should provide a one minute tutorial on golf terminology and the rules of the contest.

[Carl3]

2 hours ago, Double Mocha Man said:

Here's how I won a brand new Corvette last year.  Scramble tournament, 2 ladies from a local auto dealership at a table next to the 12th tee.  Hole in one wins the Corvette parked next to the green.  I pays up my 5 bucks to enter and stroke a good 7 iron onto the grass (green).  I sink the 30 foot putt and the women are screaming, "Hole in one!  Hole in one!"  Who am I to question things?  Grab the keys, put my clubs in the back seat (Corvettes don't have roomy trunks) and drive off to the Black Cat to celebrate.

In all seriousness, these volunteers from the bank, auto dealership or local brewery are gems... smiling at our bad jokes and all.  But the person who stations them there should provide a one minute tutorial on golf terminology and the rules of the contest.

I read about a hole in one scam where a guy in a group ahead was in on it with the 4-some behind him. The "winner" pulls a six iron out when he only needed say a 9 iron. His buddies are chatting up the volunteers that are supervising from the tee box. The "winner" hits his six iron, which is heading on a trajectory towards the "grass/green" and the others look on with anticipation and then start hooting and hollering and then start high-fiving each other. They all march off to the green and find a ball in the cup, which was placed there buy a guy in the previous group. I am not sure how it all unraveled, but...

[Double Mocha Man]

A local course has an ongoing $10,000 hole-in-one contest on #16.  You pay 5 bucks in advance in the pro shop.  But there is a camera.  So it's difficult to cheat.

Edited October 13, 2019 by Double Mocha Man