Question About UK vs. U.S. Course Etiquette

[ScouseJohnny]

Private course, early tee time, course in Pennsylvania.  I was annoyed by a bunch of hackers slicing it into the woods off the first tee and acting like they had all the time in the world. Somewhat against my playing partner's wishes (I had a 1.30pm meeting some miles away), I asked the pro to let us play off the 10th tee. He said fine, but you'll get all caught up on the 1st tee (10th to us). I said "No probs."

In the UK (where I'm from), a match "playing through" from the back nine has priority on the 1st tee for the front nine (because it's that match's 10th tee). The match playing through has absolute priority on the 1st/10th tee. I don't mean to be rude, that's just how it is in the UK. That is absolutely how it it goes.

We reached the 1st tee (10th to us). I teed it up and hit it. The players behind were not happy. My partner wasn't happy. We hit and got on with it. Behind us was a foursome, three old men and one young man. The young man wanted to express his opinion of me, quite frankly and candidly. So what, I don't care. Go ahead, bring it, son. For what it's worth, they never caught up with us. We were playing far faster than them.

In the parking lot, my playing partner slammed his clubs into the trunk because he was still cross, and used words like "Douchebag." I explained the situation and my interpretation of etiquette as I saw it. He said, "Fine, stick to the UK then, Johnny."

I guess my big question in all of this is, "Who's the douchebag?"

In my defence, had I known this isn't OK in the US, I wouldn't have done it. I've only been here and played here for 20 years....but this situation hadn't arisen before.

Edited August 17, 2025 by ScouseJohnny

[iacas]

8 minutes ago, ScouseJohnny said:

I guess my big question in all of this is, "Who's the douchebag?"

You. If the course is sending players off the first tee, then the owner of the tee time has the right to play. You were in the wrong.

Here are your clues:

9 minutes ago, ScouseJohnny said:

• Somewhat against my playing partner's wishes…
• He said fine, but you'll get all caught up on the 1st tee (10th to us).
• The players behind were not happy.
• My partner wasn't happy.
• The young man wanted to express his opinion of me, quite frankly and candidly.
• So what, I don't care.
• In the parking lot, my playing partner slammed his clubs into the trunk because he was still cross, and used words like "Douchebag."

If the course has tee times every ten minutes… and they're full, where did you expect to go? At the least, on some split-tee starts, I've seen courses spread tee times every ten minutes, so you can "integrate" times making the turn on either side.

That doesn't seem like the case at the course you were playing.

---

Let me clarify one thing, too. This was a private course, and… you were the guest, and your playing partner was the member? Or what? What's the situation there?

[ScouseJohnny]

Quote

where did you expect to go?

In front, because I was making the turn. I was playing the 10th hole.

Quote

you were the guest, and your playing partner was the member?

---

Correct, and he ain't happy. The pro didn't really give us permission to play off the 10th, I just twisted his arm. But seriously. It was slow out there.

I'd say the real problem here is don't give four no-hopers the 8am tee-time.

Edited August 17, 2025 by ScouseJohnny

[iacas]

18 minutes ago, ScouseJohnny said:

In front, because I was making the turn. I was playing the 10th hole.

No, you were playing the first hole. If you started on 18, you don't just get to walk to 1 like it's a continuation of your round.

18 minutes ago, ScouseJohnny said:

Correct, and he ain't happy.

Wow, so you did this as a guest at a private club. That's not good at all. I hope you never care about being invited to play there again, and maybe, ever playing with that guy again. Serious faux pas.

18 minutes ago, ScouseJohnny said:

I'd say the real problem here is don't give four no-hopers the 8am tee-time.

(Maybe) They're the members, not you.

[ScouseJohnny]

Alright, in all seriousness. 

1./ Thank you for explaining that in the US the priority is given to groups on the 1st tee with tee-times, not those making the turn.

2./ I'm still curious if this is something of a discrepancy between US and UK etiquette. Perhaps UK members here can confirm. Perhaps things have changed over there. It's been 20 years, after all. And the obligation was on me to check the local rules on that course in Pennsylvania, I do accept that.

3./ An ex-friend of mine once said, "Thank God you play golf, not pool; otherwise you might find the repercussions for your attitude just a little bit more serious." Oh well.

18 minutes ago, iacas said:

Wow, so you did this as a guest at a private club. That's not good at all. I hope you never care about being invited to play there again, and maybe, ever playing with that guy again

Yeah, I think that ship has sailed.

[iacas]

6 minutes ago, ScouseJohnny said:

1./ Thank you for explaining that in the US the priority is given to groups on the 1st tee with tee-times, not those making the turn.

No sweat.

6 minutes ago, ScouseJohnny said:

2./ I'm still curious if this is something of a discrepancy between US and UK etiquette. Perhaps UK members here can confirm. Perhaps things have changed over there. It's been 20 years, after all. And the obligation was on me to check the local rules on that course in Pennsylvania, I do accept that.

I have no idea. I will say it's not a "local rules" or a "club rules" type thing. Not at the majority of courses, I'd say, in the U.S.

There are courses that have things like three nines, so I'm not sure how they handle things. They may also go with the "every 2x minutes" from their usual tee time spacing so groups can merge at the turn. But then again if some groups are only playing nine holes… they wouldn't need the corresponding gap on the other nine.

6 minutes ago, ScouseJohnny said:

3./ An ex-friend of mine once said, "Thank God you play golf, not pool; otherwise you might find the repercussions for your attitude just a little bit more serious." Oh well.

😞

6 minutes ago, ScouseJohnny said:

Yeah, I think that ship has sailed.

Ouch.

[mdl]

Honestly to me the question isn't about UK versus US etiquette. As Erik pointed out that doesn't even apply because you teed off on the wrong nine. The issue is you're playing at a private club so you don't get to regulate the members as a guest. Like, look I'm sympathetic in principle to bristling at the private members being richer than us means they can piss on us if they want. But you're from the UK, you should be totally used to the upper class treating everyone else like lesser humans 😉

Also, I haven't played at *that* many private clubs, but in my limited experience folks there generally abide by reasonable etiquette. Why not just tee off behind them like a normal person and if they fall a hole behind ask nicely if they'd mind letting you play through. Beg off that you've got a meeting to make...

[ScouseJohnny]

But you're from the UK, you should be totally used to the upper class treating everyone else like lesser humans 😉

 

That might just be the problem!

I've learned a lot from this little exchange!

[boogielicious]

I don’t care if you’re from Mars, you were in the wrong and rude. 

[billchao]

If you are a guest at a private club, the repercussions of your behavior at the club are the member’s to deal with. Someone invited you to play and you basically spat on them and their course. That’s not cool, dude. A little empathy would have gone a long way, here.

[Ty_Webb]

It’s nearly 20 years since I lived in the UK, but here is roughly how it works there:

if there are no tee times and you just go play then you typically start on whichever side is the 2-ball or 4-ball side depending on how you’re playing. When you reach the turn, you have priority over people starting but you alternate so people can start - they only have to wait on one group. If you make the turn and the tee is reserved for whatever reason then you’re going home. During Covid a lot of clubs started requiring tee time bookings and then you would have to have a time reserved to go and if you were making the turn tough. 
 

If the course has opportunities to jump ahead then the rules were you could only skip to another hole if there was no one on either the hole you switch to or the hole before it. Given they had tee times and no two tee start you were much more like that than rounding the turn with priority. 
 

I’d say what you should have done was play behind the four guys and complain if they were being way slow. Then if you did go and start on 10, when you get to the turn explain to the group there that you were sent off the 10th and would it be okay if you slotted in and assure them you won’t hold them up. Then hope that they say yes. If they say no then you do the same with the next group. 
 

It sounds like you overrode your host and the pro, then barged onto the first tee when you got there and didn’t even acknowledge the people who were actually in the right place at the right time. Your host is now likely going to have to apologize to those people and the pro. That won’t be a fun discussion for them. 

[colin007]

Why didn't y'all just play through?

[BadGateway]

On 8/16/2025 at 8:12 PM, ScouseJohnny said:

In my defence, had I known this isn't OK in the US, I wouldn't have done it. I've only been here and played here for 20 years....but this situation hadn't arisen before.

You say that, but you had every indication (according to your own story) that you were going against the norm and rubbing people the wrong way: 

Quote

"Somewhat against my playing partner's wishes (I had a 1.30pm meeting some miles away), I asked the pro to let us play off the 10th tee."

"We reached the 1st tee (10th to us). I teed it up and hit it. The players behind were not happy. My partner wasn't happy. "

Quote

I don't mean to be rude, that's just how it is in the UK. That is absolutely how it it goes.

....except you were in Pennsylvania. Which you knew.

Also, you can't cop this attitude and then play dumb and claim you wouldn't have done it had you known:

Quote

The young man wanted to express his opinion of me, quite frankly and candidly. So what, I don't care. Go ahead, bring it, son. 

Whatever he said, he was probably right.

I don't normally talk this way to people but since I'm just an anonymous stranger on the internet...You're the impatient prick of this story. It sounds like you're the kind of person who doesn't give two flying craps about anyone else. 

Edited August 18, 2025 by BadGateway

[saevel25]

On 8/16/2025 at 8:50 PM, iacas said:

Wow, so you did this as a guest at a private club. That's not good at all. I hope you never care about being invited to play there again, and maybe, ever playing with that guy again. Serious faux pas.

Yea, I agree with this. Public course versus Private course has an entirely different set of rules. Honestly, his buddy should have just said no we are not doing this. I feel bad for the member. He could get into some trouble over this. You piss off the wrong member and your life can become troublesome. 

On 8/16/2025 at 9:07 PM, ScouseJohnny said:

Thank you for explaining that in the US the priority is given to groups on the 1st tee with tee-times, not those making the turn.

Yep. I played a public course. I wanted to just play 9. The starter told me, go over and check. If no one is teeing off 9, go ahead. If they teed off 9 already then, they have priority on 10 and I would have to wait for a gap or go back to the first tee. 

Priority is to the golfers already on the course or who have the tee time. 

On 8/17/2025 at 8:55 AM, billchao said:

If you are a guest at a private club, the repercussions of your behavior at the club are the member’s to deal with. Someone invited you to play and you basically spat on them and their course. That’s not cool, dude. A little empathy would have gone a long way, here.

I agree. 

When I played as a guest at this one club. I was told beforehand the following. 

1) Dress code
2) No hats worn inside
3) Do not walk your bags up to the clubhouse, someone will come to get them in the parking lot. 

Then there is just a handful of other stuff that is just common sense. 

It is absurd to me for a guest to act like they own the place. 

23 hours ago, Ty_Webb said:

f the course has opportunities to jump ahead then the rules were you could only skip to another hole if there was no one on either the hole you switch to or the hole before it. Given they had tee times and no two tee start you were much more like that than rounding the turn with priority. 

Yep, it is my understanding you need a complete 1-hole gap to jump in. 

On 8/16/2025 at 8:12 PM, ScouseJohnny said:

The young man wanted to express his opinion of me, quite frankly and candidly. So what, I don't care. Go ahead, bring it, son. For what it's worth, they never caught up with us. We were playing far faster than them.

This is honestly the issue I have. I hate the "I don't give a F***" attitude. 

I know people with this attitude, and it's just a mantra they say to validate themselves. It is basically you gas lighting yourself into think no matter what someone says, I don't care. That attitude makes a person a douchebag. 

[mcanadiens]

To my way of thinking, the pro shouldn't have let you off the back if they knew the tee sheets were full. 

At least in my part of the world, during peak season, nobody playing 18 starts on the back. Maybe in shoulder season, the pro knows the first tee will be open when you make the turn and make an exception. 

People ask for all sorts of arrangements. Good course management means having to say no to people sometimes. 

 

[pganapathy]

A very funny thing.  In India most private courses give a person playing through priority from 9-10 and 18-1.  I guess it is because most of our rules and etiquette came from the UK.  But if there is a starter on the tee box, you do need to ask him and then play accordingly.

I am a member in a private course and I must admit, @ScouseJohnny - you were wrong to try and jump ahead of members, when the member with you said no.  It is a sure fire recipe for causing issues for the member that he doesn't need

[p1n9183]

Here on Arg.. On 9 hole courses the priority on hole one is for the group starting their second 9. 
On regular 18th holes courses, the one with the tee time have priority over a group that was allowed to tee off the 10th as an exception.
On summer when you divide the tee times on the morning and afternoon wave, the ones from the morning wave that started on hole 10, have priority on hole 1 over the ones on the afternoon wave that start on the 1st hole.   

[ScouseJohnny]

There is a certain amount of humbleness and inherent stupidity here. I am but a humble college professor. Why can't life be better and more profitable? Born and raised in golfing terms on the muni (truly).

I now understand that standards are different on the "private course." But I'll take those lessons to the muni, too.