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Mental weakness

stinger

By stinger
in Golf Talk

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Note: This thread is 4584 days old. We appreciate that you found this thread instead of starting a new one, but if you plan to post here please make sure it's still relevant. If not, please start a new topic. Thank you!

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stinger Newbie

stinger

Posted
Posted
Hello, I have an issue with a club member who professes to be a friend He does though I feel try everything to destroy my game ! During medal play if I am playing well he will say personal or derogatory things to break me. This is not my imagination, another member who also played in our group now refuses to play due to his actions. I have persisted, though am fed up with having my weekends spoilt by this man. I try to block out his vile, bit eventually he breaks me as my thoughts over the ball are on his behaviour & not on my objective. I would love to be able to reverse this & block him out, bit how do I do it ? He has rhino skin ! Help please

Valleygolfer Super Member

Valleygolfer

Posted
Posted

Hello, I have an issue with a club member who professes to be a friend

He does though I feel try everything to destroy my game !

During medal play if I am playing well he will say personal or derogatory things to break me.

This is not my imagination, another member who also played in our group now refuses to play due to his actions.

I have persisted, though am fed up with having my weekends spoilt by this man.

I try to block out his vile, bit eventually he breaks me as my thoughts over the ball are on his behaviour & not on my objective.

I would love to be able to reverse this & block him out, bit how do I do it ?

He has rhino skin !

Help please


It is called "salt in your game" or "f#$k!ng with your head". You need to get over it and realize it has no merit or learn to do it back to him. Personally I find this banter entertaining. My usual comment is that there is nothing you can say that can make it any worse than whats going on in my head already...

"My ball is on top of a rock in the hazard, do I get some sort of relief?"

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rkim291968 Super Member

rkim291968

Posted
Posted

I'd do Tyson on him and bite his ears off.   That will teach him.  If not, accuse him of bullying in a very loud voice that half the club member will hear.   After that, charge him at full speed and take your heaviest club and hit him on is nuts.    My point is, you and others should confront him and kick his sorry ass into ground.   If you don't agree with my approach, perhaps, the problem isn't serious enough.

RiCK

(Play it again, Sam)

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iacas Hall of Fame Member

iacas

Posted
  • Administrator
Posted
Ummmmmm… stop playing with him.

Erik J. Barzeski — ⛳ I knock a ball. It goes in a gopher hole. 🏌🏼‍♂️
Director of Instruction Golf Evolution • Owner, The Sand Trap .com • Author, Lowest Score Wins
Golf Digest "Best Young Teachers in America" 2016-17 & "Best in State" 2017-20 • WNY Section PGA Teacher of the Year 2019 :edel: :true_linkswear:

Check Out: New Topics | TST Blog | Golf Terms | Instructional Content | Analyzr | LSW | Instructional Droplets

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David in FL Incredible Member

David in FL

Posted
Posted
Or just play with somebody else.

[quote name="iacas" url="/t/71208/mental-weakness#post_922838"]Ummmmmm… stop playing with him.[/quote] I'm gonna disagree...... I think the thread is titled exactly right. You're a 9 hcp, so a decent golfer. It's time to start working on that 6 inch course between your ears. You can't always pick your opponents or fellow competitors in a competitive event. RFKFREAK is right. Learn to tune him out and toughen up. It'll make you a better golfer in the long run. And yeah......it doesn't hurt to get back into his head a little too. ;-) Welcome to the forum!

  • Upvote 1

In David's bag....

Driver: Titleist 910 D-3;  9.5* Diamana Kai'li
3-Wood: Titleist 910F;  15* Diamana Kai'li
Hybrids: Titleist 910H 19* and 21* Diamana Kai'li
Irons: Titleist 695cb 5-Pw
Wedges: Scratch 51-11 TNC grind, Vokey SM-5's;  56-14 F grind and 60-11 K grind
Putter: Scotty Cameron Kombi S
Ball: ProV1

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stinger Newbie

stinger

Posted
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Posted
Hi guys & thanks for some entertaining replys:-):-) I so like the idea of tuning him out ! But how ? Nothing bothers him, he is a rhino ! Don't like the idea of bitchy battles on the course. Out leisure time is supposed to be enjoyable & a choice. Don't like a weekend of unhappiness on the course. So, to block him out, regain my focus, concentration, after his outburst of personal abuse & my mind is in tatters, how or what puts me back on track ? Thanks

RFKFREAK Super Member

RFKFREAK

Posted
Posted
Hi guys & thanks for some entertaining replys:-):-) I so like the idea of tuning him out ! But how ? Nothing bothers him, he is a rhino ! Don't like the idea of bitchy battles on the course. Out leisure time is supposed to be enjoyable & a choice. Don't like a weekend of unhappiness on the course. So, to block him out, regain my focus, concentration, after his outburst of personal abuse & my mind is in tatters, how or what puts me back on track ? Thanks

Tuning him out has nothing to do with nothing bothering him. Tuning him out doesn't mean getting into a competition to see who can get to who first.

Christian

:tmade::titleist:  :leupold:  :aimpoint: :gamegolf:

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SantoroMT Newbie

SantoroMT

Posted
Posted

Its often easier to gain an advantage by pulling someone off their game by making them get inside their own head than playing better yourself. If he sees it bothering you, he won't stop since thats a point for him. The easiest way, in my opinion, to get him to stop is to just say "ok" to whatever he is saying, make an awesome shot, look him dead in the eyes and smile then walk away. If you appear to be unfazed (in your head you can be as annoyed as it gets) he'll eventually stop


rkim291968 Super Member

rkim291968

Posted
Posted

What a pathetic guy that is, trying to gain advantage instead of using his golf skills in an amateur event that nobody cares other than those who are in it.   I certainly wouldn't be proud of beating someone that way.   His behavior goes against what golf is all about.

With thousands of golf rules, there should be one about sportsmanship/gamesmanship.   How about a stroke penalty, and DQ after 2nd occurrence?    Other sports has it.  You get a ball thrown at you if you show the opposing team off in manner inappropriate.

RiCK

(Play it again, Sam)

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Hammer 4 Great Member

Hammer 4

Posted
Posted

Being that I use to play with a bunch of construction workers. This guy would have been warned, and if he continued, a knuckle samwhich would have been implemented to cease such verbal nonsense...not saying it's right, but it certainly gets to point across.

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newtogolf Incredible Member

newtogolf

Posted
Posted

Hi guys & thanks for some entertaining replys:-)

I so like the idea of tuning him out !

But how ? Nothing bothers him, he is a rhino !

Don't like the idea of bitchy battles on the course. Out leisure time is supposed to be enjoyable & a choice.

Don't like a weekend of unhappiness on the course.

So, to block him out, regain my focus, concentration, after his outburst of personal abuse & my mind is in tatters, how or what puts me back on track ?

Thanks

He does it because he knows it takes you off your game.  We did it all the time playing football, it's called psyching your opponent out.  If you want him to stop you either have to threaten him with physical retaliation (not suggested) or show him it doesn't affect your game.

You tune him out by understanding that what he's saying isn't personal, it is done strictly to mess up your game.  Don't register the comments he makes in your mind, instead stay focused on a song or a memory or the vision of you making the shot you want so that when he says something you react to it like when you're wife tells you to take out the garbage or clean the garage. :-)

Joe Paradiso

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Crim Great Member

Crim

Posted
Posted
Hi guys & thanks for some entertaining replys:-)

I so like the idea of tuning him out !

But how ? Nothing bothers him, he is a rhino !

Don't like the idea of bitchy battles on the course. Out leisure time is supposed to be enjoyable & a choice.

Don't like a weekend of unhappiness on the course.

So, to block him out, regain my focus, concentration, after his outburst of personal abuse & my mind is in tatters, how or what puts me back on track ?

Thanks

I have a friend like this and all I can suggest is...PRACTICE MORE and make it a competition when you play him. I now beat my friend every time and all he does now is make fun of himself and he praises how good my game has gotten. It may be a long shot but if you can defeat him every time...he will shut up...and if he doesn't, you'll be more confident anyway.

Make him the reason to get to a 4 handicap instead of 9.

But like others have said, if it really is too much, stop playing with him for a while.

Joel Holden

https://twitter.com/JHolden138


Crim Great Member

Crim

Posted
Posted

With thousands of golf rules, there should be one about sportsmanship/gamesmanship.   How about a stroke penalty, and DQ after 2nd occurrence?    Other sports has it.  You get a ball thrown at you if you show the opposing team off in manner inappropriate.

Lol, trying to apply that rule to a "friendly" golf outing would just increase heckling.

Joel Holden

https://twitter.com/JHolden138


sofingaw Dedicated Member

sofingaw

Posted
Posted

I'd try to have a stock catch phrase at the ready, and just hit him with it relentlessly when he starts. Don't worry about being witty or matching him shot for shot verbally. Just something like:

'Stay Classy San Diego'

'Yeah, you sure ARE garbage!'

'Keep it juicy.'

'Mashed potatoes, man, mashed. pot-ate-oooos....'

'Got em' coach!'

Make it basically nonsensical, and annoying as hell. If repeated 70 times a round, he may get tired of hearing you in response being so silly and dismissive, and shut up himself.

A mantra, if you will. If you can get comfortable with something so silly, and he can't, then you have protection.

Just an idea.

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sofingaw Dedicated Member

sofingaw

Posted
Posted

Stick with just one. Make the repetition one of the worst things about it.

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