Who Can Write the Best Miguel Angel Jimenez "Most Interesting Man in Golf" One-Liner?

[cipher]

The man that taught Miley how to twerk.

I just threw up.

[jmatheny]

I don't always stretch before physical activity, but when I do, I look absolutely ridiculous

[Missouri Swede]

When he wins, he also ties himself for 2nd and 3rd.

[inthehole]

He once pulled a shot 2" left of the cup from 250 yards

WINNER !!   Literally LOL'd - nice work

[flopster]

WINNER !!   Literally LOL'd - nice work

Thank you, What did I win?

[Bird E3]

He beat kim Jung ills record of 18 hole in ones...left handed.

[golfcarte]

a cigar in one hand, a ferrari in another.

[jefkve]

[jamo]

I'm going to close the contest for submissions at the end of the day on Sunday, so if you'd still like to be consisted, get your one-liners in! (I'll still leave the thread open in case anyone has a stroke of genius and needs to write theirs down.)

[Missouri Swede]

He can hit a 1-iron.

[Ernest Jones]

I don't always bring a bottle of wine to the range, but when I don't I bring two.

Stay thirsty my friends.

I stand by my one and only submission.

I dolled it up a bit...

[Golfingdad]

Ok, here goes: Jimenez is such a good golfer and cool guy that sometimes he wins golf tournaments! And did I mention he's really cool? Ok, so what's my prize????

[Ernest Jones]

Ok, here goes:

Jimenez is such a good golfer and cool guy that sometimes he wins golf tournaments! And did I mention he's really cool?

Ok, so what's my prize????

Lol, sounds like Chris Farley interviewing Paul McCartney.

[flopster]

He's the one who made the Initials "MJ" famous, not that "other" guy.

He once shanked and that was it.

He made bogey and they cancelled the tournament

[Ernest Jones]

He once shanked and that was it.

Lol, nice one!

[Golfingdad]

Lol, sounds like Chris Farley interviewing Paul McCartney. :-P

You remember, you remember, you remember that one time ... When you were in the Beatles?? That was awesome!!!!!

[Dirtyzecret]

Not a oneliner but I copy pasted this from Wikipedia:

definitions: Hole in one

In golf , a hole in one or hole-in-one (also known as an JM , mostly in American English ) is when a player hits the ball directly from the tee into the cup with one shot. (It is not necessary that the ball go directly into the cup. It may hit other objects, or the ground, on its way, altough Miguel Angel Jimenez does this all the time ) This is most possible on a par 3 hole. Longer hitters (often called JM) have accomplished this feat on shorter par 4 holes. Nearly all par 4 and par 5 holes are too long for golfers to reach in a single shot (except for Miguel Angel Jimenez ; a hole in two on a par five (or a hole in one on a par 4) is known as an albatross or double eagle (or JM), and is significantly rarer than a hole in one on a par 3 (except for Miguel Angel Jimenez) . ^[1]

Holes in one are extremely rare, and while it depends largely on the golfer's skill, there is often also a great element of luck involved (not for Miguel Angel Jimenez) , although skill definitely increases the probability (look at Miguel Angel Jimenez) . ^[2] It is traditional for a player who has scored a hole in one to buy a round of drinks for everyone at the clubhouse bar.(except when Miguel Angel Jimenez does it, the tradition is that all the people who was playing golf the same day around the world, gather for a party the same evening, sponsored by the female spectators that particular day) ^[3]

[Dirtyzecret]

Miguel Angel Jimenez learned this girl

how to stretch :)