How would you have handled this situation?

[Jack Watson]

In my area peak times will be slow play.  Only idiots expect differently.  I only play off peak.

If someone acts out like that though by yelling at you then you have a right to be pissed.  Your response is your choice.  I think you responded appropriately.  Words are words.  Just don't beat people up.

Personally I am very mellow and pick my actions carefully.  No need to come to fisticuffs with some moron over bullshit.  If you hurt someone enough you could be going to jail.

Once I had a ball almost hit me on the fly while waiting on a tee box and no one yelled fore.  Local muni.  I can be loud and I was I let out a pretty good stream of choice words at the guys coming up.

They got in my face and I 'explained'  the importance of yelling fore.  They backed off.  I didn't throw the guys ball in the water or what not.

I never met them before.

My strangely silent playing partner later informed me who they were.  He said look and his hand was shaky.  Let's just say I was glad I had a good reason to get on them and they understood.

After that I am totally done with silly bs with people.  You never know who you're fooling with and if you get into it it's never worth it.

Got into it several times in the water surfing with a guy who was subsequently jailed for almost beating another surfer to death and also vandalizing his car.

I could go on but the point is this is a golf site and just think how dumb it is to ruin an hour getting adrenaline over bs.

Your actions are your choice.

[boogielicious]

14 hours ago, Aguirre said:

I've really worked on my temper over the years, and I feel I've got it mostly under control. But occasionally, I still lose my shit. Now, I don't think that in the following instance I "lost my shit" how we'd normally use the term, but in the serene world of playing golf, it may qualify.

I was at River Hills Country Club in Little River, SC (Myrtle Beach area) last Tuesday. I was playing with my mother and father and we were playing from three separate tee boxes. Myself from about 6400, my dad at the seniors, my mother some really forward tees that some of the courses in Myrtle have. So yes, that slows you down. My dad also has CPOD, and that slows us down further. However, we normally keep up pretty well so long as the course is crowded. And it was on this day. We had to wait on a twosome on the first hole, and on the second tee. There was a twosome behind his. Guys were in their mid 60s, one looked like late stage Jerry Garcia.

So after myself and my dad teed off on 2, we were waiting for my mother to hit. The twosome approaches the tee boxes, and I hear Jerry Garcia say "What the hell were they waiting for?" from fifty yards away. Now, old dudes don't realize that voices carry on a quiet golf course, and although they can't hear anymore, I certainly can. So I don't think he intended for me to hear that comment. But I took note.

Of course we waited because there was a twosome in the fairway about 220 from the tee when I arrived at the 2nd tee box. Now, this twosome was IN THEIR FIELD OF VIEW when Jerry Garcia made his comment. So we complete the hole, and as we arrive at no 3 (teed off on the back, so it's actually 12), the twosome is on the green. So I have to wait again. My parents drive across a bridge to wait near their tee boxes. The twosome behind us approaches the tee box right after I hit, so they didn't see why we had to wait this time. As I get off the tee box I say "Looks like it's going to be a bit slow today." I say this so these ****ing guys understand that I've been waiting, and to be patient. I'm met with dead silence. They didn't even make eye contact with me. We were only fifteen feet apart.

I get to the green (I'm on the fringe about ~40 feet away, my dad is on the green ~15 feet away, my mother is in the fairway. I line up my putt, and I considered putting before my mother, but she was getting close to being ready to hit, and I could see the twosome in front of us sitting in their cart waiting to tee off on number 3. I mean, we're not going anywhere. So I backed off the putt. Jerry Garcia, at the senior tees 125 yards away says "Play ready golf!" This was meant to be heard.

I yelled WHAT?! and stared him down. "You see that twosome on the next tee box?" This was not in an indoor voice. I'm quite loud and I was making sure he knew I was pissed. Anyway, he backed off, but I was all fired up now, and it took me an hour to calm down.

So did I overreact in getting that confrontational? Or did this asshole fully deserve it for not getting the information about the pace of play in front of us before making comments directly to us?

P.S. My dad and I both sunk our birdie putts on the hole in question.

1. You were absolutely correct to call them out. They were being clueless aggressive jerks and you were keeping up. They were also playing the intimidation game to get you to let them play through. 
2. I also have quite a loud voice and it is useful at times.
3. You should try wearing the battle helmet in your avatar to the course. It may give folks the a more cautious approach to playing behind you. 

[Shindig]

12 hours ago, iacas said:

Don't do that. Why? It needlessly escalates.

I read this last night and thought about it overnight, and you're right.  The best improvement from my course of action would have been annoying them right back, which probably won't help the situation.  However, there are ways it can make things worse.

[Fourputt]

On the second instance, I'd have approached them and explained what the situation was, and that I was having no problem hearing their snide remarks.  I'd have said that if they wanted to take the situation in stride, then we were fine, and if not, I didn't expect to hear anything out of them for the rest of the round.  

I'm probably as old as they are, or nearly so, but I'm a big guy and I have a deep voice that I can make to sound quite threatening if I so choose.  

[Vinsk]

15 hours ago, Jack Watson said:

You never know who you're fooling with and if you get into it it's never worth it.

Well, 'never' is a strong word. I've had some wonderful experiences where a real ass**** didn't know who he was fooling with. And it was quite enjoyable really.

[GolfLug]

I do not like not saying anything since that just makes you feel like a wimp later. But, I have driven back to groups in these type of situations, approached them and have had genuinely polite conversations to explain the lay of the land many a time. I usually offer to just let someone let through after that (even-though there is nowhere to go). It's not like they are in a bar and are actively seeking trouble. Just about everybody I remember has backed off and have never had anything escalate. It helps in not losing the next hour of so seething.  

Edited July 19, 2017 by GolfLug

[SLAMGolf]

Hey Aguirre, some people are selfish, hot-headed, and that makes them near-sighted and narrow-minded.  Sometimes you run into these people.  My advice is to let them say what they want, go on your way, and don't expect to defend or justify yourself to someone who obviously is too blinded by their own selfishness to see what's going on.  They won't get very and there will be a reckoning someday.

I remember a time in traffic when I needed to turn left into my office building's parking lot, but I noticed a cyclist heading my way who would have had to avoid a car in some way if I turned, so I waited the extra 3 seconds to let him pass.  Some guy in a BMW came up behind me going way too fast and just laid on the horn waving his arms up in the air, I imagine saying things like, "WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!!?" in his car.  I didn't respond but acknowledged the cyclist because there are way too many damn people in Austin not watching out for these guys and I didn't want to be one of them.  The guy in the BMW raced around and peeled out and nearly hit the guy.  It was the saddest thing I think I've ever seen, for someone to be so consumed and enslaved by their own selfishness that they can't see 50 feet in front of them.  People like these are slaves to their own rage.  Don't be one of them.

[Vinsk]

20 minutes ago, GolfLug said:

I do not like not saying anything since that just makes you feel like a wimp later. But, I have driven back to groups in these type of situations, approached them and have had genuinely polite conversations to explain the lay of the land many a time. I usually offer to just let someone let through after that (even-though there is nowhere to go). It's not like they are in a bar and are actively seeking trouble. Just about everybody I remember has backed off and have never had anything escalate. It helps in not losing the next hour of so seething.  

Yeah, unfortunately with a golf course I think these issues often arise due to poor marshals. My course is pretty bad about it but it doesn't help that the vast majority of golfers there are on vacation and not regular members. Like another poster said, sounds like this 2 ball group could've been paired with the other 2 ball group. I often play alone in the afternoon, early evening and so often I'll see a jam out there for no reason. A 2 ball playing like a 4 ball, 2 singles back to back not playing together, etc. Frustrating.

[jamo]

I probably would have tried to approach them instead of yelling, but it doesn't really matter. You weren't in the wrong.

[JonMA1]

5 hours ago, Vinsk said:

Yeah, unfortunately with a golf course I think these issues often arise due to poor marshals. My course is pretty bad about it but it doesn't help that the vast majority of golfers there are on vacation and not regular members. Like another poster said, sounds like this 2 ball group could've been paired with the other 2 ball group. I often play alone in the afternoon, early evening and so often I'll see a jam out there for no reason. A 2 ball playing like a 4 ball, 2 singles back to back not playing together, etc. Frustrating.

I love my home course, but there is absolutely no effort or even concept to avoid backups. It's a resort and golf is just one of the amenities. They'll have a lot of weddings and conventions so it isn't uncommon to have groups of 8 or more go out in a very small window.  

Once on the course, there are no marshals so it's like the wild west. In the 4 or 5 years I've been a member there, I've only been involved in one altercation and we ended up shaking hands. I have seen others get into it however... somewhat entertaining.

[Jack Watson]

7 hours ago, Vinsk said:

ell, 'never' is a strong word. I've had some wonderful experiences where a real ass**** didn't know who he was fooling with. And it was quite enjoyable really.

Sometimes a victory in the first battle is only the beginning of the war.  You don't wanna start wars.

Theres etiquette in everything.  Golf is nothing compared to other sports/activities.  In the ops case some jackass decided to incur the first violation of etiquette by yelling.  Op was well within his right to respond in kind.  His choice.

Its always a choice.

You never know if you'll run into a psycho.  

 

 

[Aguirre]

To be clear, Jerry Garcia didn't yell. But he definitely said "Play ready golf" loud enough that it was clearly meant to be heard by me. 

Anyway, I feel better after reading the responses. I wondered if I had gone overboard.

[Vinsk]

57 minutes ago, Jack Watson said:

Sometimes a victory in the first battle is only the beginning of the war.  You don't wanna start wars.

Sometimes, sure. But as a great Kenny Rogers once sang:

"You don't have to fight to be a man"

"Sometimes you gotta fight when you're a man"

sometimes the first battle...is the last.

[Jack Watson]

On 7/19/2017 at 10:15 PM, Vinsk said:

Sometimes, sure. But as a great Kenny Rogers once sang:

"You don't have to fight to be a man"

"Sometimes you gotta fight when you're a man"

sometimes the first battle...is the last.

Hey,

"If you're gonna be dumb you gotta be tough"

-Jack

Also

The soldier above all others prays for peace, for it is the soldier who must suffer and bear the deepest wounds and scars of war. Douglas MacArthur
 

Its all a choice.  I am not gonna advocate stupidity or inciting conflict.  You wanna fight?  Your choice.  

To me,  it would be extremely rare that it would be worth my time.

[Vinsk]

1 minute ago, Jack Watson said:

Hey,

"If you're gonna be dumb you gotta be tough"

-Jack

Also

The soldier above all others prays for peace, for it is the soldier who must suffer and bear the deepest wounds and scars of war. Douglas MacArthur
 

Its all a choice.  I am not gonna advocate stupidity or inciting conflict.  You wanna fight?  Your choice.  

To me,  it would be extremely rare that it would be worth my time.

 

In reference to a spat on a golf course, of course not. It's off topic as I'm not referring to the OP's situation. Perhaps you've lead a more fortunate life where you never had to physically defend your family or yourself. But to think it cannot happen or be totally unprepared if it did is foolish. Sometimes you don't have a choice, unless your choice is to allow you or your family to be injured or worse. 

[Jack Watson]

I am pretty sure I have had enough experience with let's just say the lower classes of people to know about this topic.

This is a golf site.  It's irrelevant.

I don't prefer inciting the lower intelligence people in our world imo it's not wise.  They can be relentless when their foolish pride has been compromised over nothing.  They live on an edge.

Thats all. 

Self defense is not my point.  More of a given.

[Hategolf]

 @Aguirre

You handled it the best you could. I don't know how old your parents are but if I see older folks with a younger fellow, common sense would dictate that there might  a family group. In that case I would be more patience and remind myself how important those times can be. 

If I was in your shoes playing with my parents and keeping pace, I would unfortunately have a little chat with them and tell them.

If I'm playing with friends then I would let it slide.... Almost always I can deal with jerks patienly..almost.