Getting on the course as a friendless beginner

Heh, ok, I'm not actually friendless. But I am without local friends who play golf. My few friends who are into golf live in other states, and none of my friends here show any interest. So, until I manage to build up a group of golfing acquaintances, that leaves me to play by myself (or paired with strangers). But as a very early beginner, I don't have a lot of confidence, so playing with people I don't know isn't really exciting.

I know I need to get over it, and get out there and play as often as I can, not just when I'm visiting friends out of town. But it's easier said than done.

Were any of you in a similar situation when you started? What advice can you give me? Should I try to seek out courses that have more "casual" players? (Not even really sure how to identify those.) Go at times that I know won't be busy? (I don't think that exists around here, and I work so weekdays are out). I'm considering joining my local club, but it's expensive and I'd kind of like to wait until I'm at least slightly better before committing to that.

When I started playing golf I was in the same situation. I was really afraid of playing with strangers. My view is that strangers don't care how bad you play golf as long as you don't slow them down. So when I got into a situation I couldn't get out of, such as getting out of a difficult bunker, or carrying  a large body of water, I simply picked up my ball and threw it by hand onto the fairway and continue playing from there so I could keep up with the group.

Also, keep yor practice swings to a minimum to save time.

Just my opinion.

Depends how much of a beginner you are, but starting from total scratch: Watch some YouTube or read some threads on here about what you should be doing (technique) and hit some balls at the range. Once you're happy enough there (probably a few weeks) then go find a field and hit some balls off the grass, or go and play the cheapest local course their is in you area. There will be loads in your situation. I started playing really late evening or really early on a night so there was no pressure. When you're ok with this, join in with others and have a beer afterwards etc, works wonders. Last thing you need when starting is to have four balls all around you when duffing them short of the ladies tees (everyone has done this, so don't worry about it). Don't use decent balls unless you're rich and don't bother with the better courses for a few months. In the UK tons of high handicappers play really late on their own, I've even seen people putting in total darkness with a torch!

Start off on easier courses like par 3 then work your way up to executive then regulation courses. You'll most likely find more compatible playing partners on the easier courses as a beginner.

I was in a very similar situation as you when i picked up the game 3 years ago.  My friends in college got me started but i was more addicted to the game than they were, so I ended up playing alone like i had no friends.

A lot of people here are going to recommend you take lessons, which will help your game.  I had some lessons early on to teach me the basics of grip, stance, ball position for each club, posture, etc and I think it really helped me out.  Everything else I have learned through lurking on this website or youtube.  I could certainly benefit from more lessons to make myself a better golfer, but I'm stubborn and really like the challenge of teaching myself.

From your situation it looks like you don't get to play much during the week.  I would enjoy playing at 2-3pm during the week because in Texas nobody in their right mind wants to play golf at that time.  It would give me a chance to work on whatever I wanted and hit as many balls as I wanted.  These solo opportunities really tuned my game, and by the end of my first summer I was beating my friends who had been playing for a much longer time.  that would be my first recommendation.  If you have time after work, go out and play 9 by yourself.  I still do that from time to time and it's actually enjoyable after a stressful day.

As far as playing with strangers, I get extremely nervous when I play with strangers and it still takes me a few holes to loosen up.  The key is to realize what they want out of you as a playing partner, and from what I have seen it is to be an enjoyable person who doesn't play terribly slow and knows when to pick up.  Don't get upset about your game and make the round uncomfortable for everybody.  At the end of the day we're all out there to have a good time.  Book you some solo tee times, go out there, play your game, and make the round enjoyable.  You'll likely make new friends and even find you some playing partners for future rounds.

Ummm, you came to the right place.

I've met almost all of my current golfing buddies through this very website.  Played a round of golf with @GolfSwine , @Pakoh , and @Big C last Friday, and with @tristanhilton85 yesterday.  Playing again next Saturday with Swine and Big C.  There are probably a dozen others I've played with who I met here.

You should join our Socal Golfers group.  We typically try to put together an outing in the area every quarter or so.

Where in OC are you located?

Just go out and play, and don't worry what others might think. All of them were beginners at one time too. The mean ones are the ones who forgot how bad they were when they started.

Just don't hold folks up behind you while you are out there. Tell them you are a novice, and ask them to join you. That, or let them play through.

I remember the first time I played on a real 18 hole course. I got paired with an old timer who way better than I was. At the end of our round I asked him what he thought of my game. He told me I had a some things to learn, and to buy some newer clubs. Clubs that were younger than he was.

@LimeTree

Other options would be to check with local courses about joining a league.

Many courses have nine hole leagues in the late afternoon and are a great way to meet many golfers.

Also inquire about signing up as a "Sub" for a league.

There are many beginners who enjoy league play and are always fun.

Plus, the green fees are usually reduced or discounted.

Good luck, Club Rat

thanks for that $10 last friday!

Good thing I won it the previous week so now I'm even!!!!

Par 3 courses are your friends. Play those till you get more confident. That's what I did for a whole summer

Agree. They're very low key, nobody is going to expect you to be a pro, or dress like a pro, and you'll likely get to play by yourself often until you get more comfortable and even after you're comfortable and moved on they're still great for practice!

Par 3 is a good idea to start. Once you're ready for a par 72, go in the late afternoons on weekends, since you can't during the week. Most golfers wont be judgmental about your skill level but play the suitable tees and keep up with them should you get paired with others. You don't want to be looking for your ball in the fairway when your partners are on the green. Pick up if you're slowing them down. You'll make lots of friends. Have fun.

@Golfingdad I'm in Coto (so Southeast OC).

Any of the rest of you down this way? Any recommendations on Par 3 courses? I haven't seen many around. Someone recommended Newport Beach as a good place to start out, but I haven't tried it yet.

Yeah, I'm not far from you ... Lake Forest near Foothill Ranch.  The Lake Forest Golf course at Jeronimo/Cherry is a good beginner course and practice area.  9 hole rounds for $12 or something like that.

Another thing that I think would be really good for you because you can learn AND meet some people who are also likely to be beginners is at my home course ... Tijeras Creek has some beginner clinics this summer.  Here's a link:  http://tijerascreek.com/-summer-clinics

I think my wife might actually be taking one of those classes.

I go to the golf course by myself fairly frequently. In the 3.5 years I've played, I've joined up with another golfer, or group of golfers most times (except during the summer here in AZ, when

I can have the whole course to myself) and have only played with one guy that was anywhere near being a jerk. I usually explain that I've not played for long, and am not particularly good,

and most people don't seem to care. Just go and play your game, and if you join others, try not to hold them up.

Just show up at the course, the starters or pro shop will probably know golfers of a similar skill level - thats how I met my first 4 golf friends and later on some of the others.

I really knew no one when i joined my first club, spent months on the range before playing a round - and those months on the range prepared me for little. You cant meet anyone until you get out there. Ive played with good guys on this site when they traveled to florida and i've met some tools on here too - life is a crap shoot.

All the previous posts provide good advice.  My thought is to make sure you can make contact on each attempted swing.  A total beginner will often whiff.  It can be a bit irritating to the other players if one makes a couple attempts and makes no contact.  Once you are able to hit it 99% of the time on the first try, you should be good to go.  As "arturo28mx" suggested, do not be afraid to just pickup when things get too tough.  Initially one should make every effort to keep pace with your group.