The Perfect Golf Course

[snapfade]

7 hours ago, phillyk said:

The grass ones i guess.

After some careful consideration, I will add some deep bikers like they have at St. Andrews. For two reasons, one, to increase the level of difficulty and penalize a wayward shot, and two, it presents the opportunity for someone not to rake the bunker therefore allowing our dedicated course marshalls to practice their target acquisition skills. 

[boogielicious]

11 minutes ago, snapfade said:

will add some deep bikers

I’m guessing you meant bunkers! Although pitching off an irate Hells Angel could be considered a hazard too.😜

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4 minutes ago, boogielicious said:

I’m guessing you meant bunkers! Although pitching off an irate Hells Angel could be considered a hazard too.😜

HaHaHa gosh I typed that on my phone sans reading glasses.

[Buckeyebowman]

On 3/22/2020 at 10:28 AM, dennyjones said:

It would be a desolate course, but if it's yours, you're all good.

I have to agree. I couldn't play there. I'm 67 with two bad knees. You can avoid getting out of shape, you can't avoid getting old!

[billchao]

On 3/22/2020 at 10:28 AM, dennyjones said:

It would be a desolate course, but if it's yours, you're all good.

Reminds me of that South Park episode where Cartman owns his own theme park.

[David in FL]

Self raking bunkers!

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25 minutes ago, David in FL said:

Self raking bunkers!

Sorry you wont be able to play at my golf course anytime soon seeing as how the iron curtain is getting ready to close in around "The City Beautiful". 

[David in FL]

57 minutes ago, snapfade said:

Sorry you wont be able to play at my golf course anytime soon seeing as how the iron curtain is getting ready to close in around "The City Beautiful". 

Ahhhhh, but I’m just outside the curtain.  Besides, my “work”, yeah, that’s it, my “work” requires that I travel.   

Edited March 26, 2020 by David in FL

[Daniel-J]

If this is what you really want, I wonder if your idea is 100% or not 🙂

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5 hours ago, David in FL said:

Ahhhhh, but I’m just outside the curtain.  Besides, my “work”, yeah, that’s it, my “work” requires that I travel.   

You're not in Orange/ Osceola County? 

2 hours ago, Daniel-J said:

If this is what you really want, I wonder if your idea is 100% or not 🙂

Of course it's real my dear friend, it's posted on the internet.

[David in FL]

1 hour ago, snapfade said:

You're not in Orange/ Osceola County? 

Of course it's real my dear friend, it's posted on the internet.

Nope.  Seminole.

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22 minutes ago, David in FL said:

Nope.  Seminole.

I've never go there. I don't have all my shots.

[CarlSpackler]

On 3/24/2020 at 7:40 AM, snapfade said:

There will be no trolleys, Old Tom Morris didn't use a trolley. You will have the option of having bikini clad Brazilian ladies caddie for you. 

16. Former military snipers will be strategically position in concealed locations with high powered pellet rifles to enforce pace of play and any on course violations.

17. For the Ohio crowd, any one showing up in a Guided by Voices shirt or a Pete Rose jersey, will receive a 10 percent discount.   

Ohioans who show up in Bengals or Browns gear should play for free. They've suffered enough.

As for me, I would require a membership to play my course. There may be a nominal fee to join, but mainly you have to pass a test that proves you know the rules of ready golf, how to fix a pitch mark, rake a bunker, etc. I would nix the bikini clad ladies as they would slow play. Hell the stripping tranny that would perform outside the fence of a course I play slowed play enough. It was always amusing to see the reaction when people would figure out what was going on.

[dagolfer18]

Here’s an idea. I assume you will have several tee boxes. When golfers pay before their round, have them present their handicap card/app. Then make them play the tee box according to their handicap, and have a course marshal see them off to make sure they play the right tee boxes. Also, have cameras in the pro shop overlooking every tee box. If the high-handicapper that you put on the middle tees suddenly tees off from the tips, they’re out. If they don’t have a handicap card/app, too bad.

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7 hours ago, CarlSpackler said:

Ohioans who show up in Bengals or Browns gear should play for free. They've suffered enough.

As for me, I would require a membership to play my course. There may be a nominal fee to join, but mainly you have to pass a test that proves you know the rules of ready golf, how to fix a pitch mark, rake a bunker, etc. I would nix the bikini clad ladies as they would slow play. Hell the stripping tranny that would perform outside the fence of a course I play slowed play enough. It was always amusing to see the reaction when people would figure out what was going on.

Stripping tranny, I'm going to leave that one alone. Hahaha

I'll think I will have one tournament now that I think about it. The Annual Swinging Richards Nude Golf Tournament. 

[shanksalot]

If I had the money I would build a par 60 course. It would have 12 3 pars and 6 4 pars. The par 3s would be 120 to 170 and the par 4s would be 300 to 360. Since I am in my late 70's this would be a fun course to play. I can get short game practice and have a few holes where I can hit driver or 3 wood off the tee. Most courses today, despite what the USGA  spouts are too long for me.  

[Rippy_72]

I'll play

1.  Caddies only

2. No women

3. No smoking on the course

4. No cellphones

5. No rangers.  One rules infraction gets the member a warning (even if it is his guest).  Second warning results in suspension

6. Must be strategic in design (Doak, Hanse, Crenshaw...).  No Fazio crap.

7. Overnight lodging for guests

8. Turtlesoup as a specialty

Edited March 28, 2020 by Rippy_72

[Papa Steve 55]

According to Bobby Jones.....