You Vote: Birth of Child or Big Payday?

[Lihu]

Are you still referring to the original question or has this digressed to arbitrary things like going to a baseball game or playing poker?  I don't consider the potential of winning $12M+ to be an arbitrary thing.

Yeah, I was vague. All my responses were geared towards arbitrary things, which were placed in between the intended post and this one.

So my main question was "What kind of man would not be there by the side of his wife while she delivers their child?"

In regard to specific Golfer in question, this is a difficult question to answer. If his wife specifically tells him to play golf and he has the entire support of his family (including his in-laws) to do the same, sure, he should play. That's pretty simple. It's all about family.

[iacas]

So my main question was "What kind of man would not be there by the side of his wife while she delivers their child?"

That's not the question. The question is as posed in the poll.

[Lihu]

That's not the question. The question is as posed in the poll.

My answer only depends upon the support of ones family. In most cases, families do what's best for everyone.

Usually, they would want what's best for the couple.

[RJH999]

So my main question was "What kind of man would not be there by the side of his wife while she delivers their child?"

Someone who wants that CREAM tho!

[BuckeyeNut]

If the payday is life changing, I'd take the payday.   A no brainer..........my wife would agree and want me to take the payday because it means our lives will be changed for the better.    Everybody has their price.   If you are a guy making $100K a year with a $500K opportunity on the day of your child's birth, I don't think many would pass such an opportunity.

Hunter withdrawing from a random event is irrelevant.......this guy probably makes $10MIL plus a year when you include all his off-course income and endorsements.   Withdrawing from an event after the 2nd round Is far from 'life changing' for a guy like him.   This kind of payday is more like taking a couple weeks off without pay for a guy like him........  no big sacrifice.  The decision not to play will have no bearing on his lifestyle.   I give him props from withdrawing when he did, but he is already pretty comfortable and a tour win isn't a life changer for him.

For a journeyman pro like Horschell.............a $10 million annuity bonus for retirement is forever life changing.  Not to mention the crazy money he earned in the playoffs.  The guy was on fire and earned more in the past month than possibly his entire career.

[Jmdmbike]

Big payday. Pretty sure everyone in the family would agree as well.

[14ledo81]

I asked my wife this one last night.  She said to take the payday.  It made me think about it some more.  If the wife says take the payday, and the child (obviously) does not know, my reason for being there would be for my self.  Maybe it would be selfish of me to throw away the opportunity to make that kind of money???

[CarlSpackler]

Take the money and make another baby. WIN-WIN!

[colin007]

man, all this talk about fathers and parenting...

[Kieran123]

Take money, use money to fund time machine invention, go back in time to be there for child birth, while your other self wins the money.

[GolfLug]

Thought about this for a bit. $50K is my price. Not that I or the family couldn't use lesser sums, but I guess for selfish reasons I would for go anything less for a lifetime of memory/memories.

[phan52]

I would most definitely choose being there for the birth of my child. and my wife would probably kick my butt given that choice. She would think, show me the money! But It is my memory at risk, not hers.

[turtleback]

Teenage kid's tend to be more sensitive than at other stages of their lives, and every little bit seems to make a big difference to them. Seeing as I was available during both births, it was a good idea to be there. Then and in retrospect. It wasn't like I wanted to be anywhere else anyway. I know people who flew from across the world to be there for the births of their kids, and they made it in time. Most employers tend to make exceptions for them to be there at that special time.

Sure, if you are serving active duty or an EMS with a high demand situation, etc. there is a good reason for you not to be at your kids birth. Otherwise, you might have to explain to your teenage daughter (or son) why you weren't there.

Amazing that under your standard fathers apparently didn't start loving their kids until the last 40 years or so.  It is not that long ago that fathers were almost NEVER at their kids' birth.  Maybe pacing in a room somewhere but not present.  How funny that we make our cultural quirks into virtual imperatives.

Just a joke.

Seriously though, if the father doesn't care enough to be at the kid's birth and does other arbitrary things, I really wonder what kind of "dad" he would make? That's the main point I am making.

Due respect, it is an absurd point.  I wonder what kind of dad someone would make if he selfishly traded his family's financial security for his own "feel-good" moment.

And any parent who has a teen age kid questioning whether he is loved because dad was not at his birth has had a pretty crappy dad who wouldn't have been any better if he had attended the birth.  And frankly I cannot remember anyone anywhere ever telling me that they had even had a conversation like that with their teenage kid - so really this is a complete red herring you are raising.

And while I was at my kids birth, damn, my dad wasn't at mine.  So I guess that despite 45 years of evidence to the contrary he was a lousy father.

My answer only depends upon the support of ones family. In most cases, families do what's best for everyone.

Usually, they would want what's best for the couple.

And the dad doesn't want what is best for the family?  When it comes to the welfare of MY family the only "family" that gets to have a say is my wife.

As far as your contention that in most cases families do what is best for everyone, you have obviously never taught in a public school in a marginal area.  Because in that environment most families suck at doing what is best for everyone.

[isukgolf]

For life changing money ... payday ... film the event and I will watch it every day of the little persons life ... As someone mentioned, it was not that many years ago that dads were not allowed in the room at all ... the birth of my twins I was not allowed in ... it was an "at risk" birth and they were early ... I meet them in a hallway on the way to ICU ... I love them more than life its self ... I am also a step-dad ... I was not there for those births, but I love them and care for them just has much as my own ... and if asked, they would say I was their "dad" more than their bio-dad ... when introduced I introduce them as [U] my [/U] daughters The title of "dad' is earned ... just because you had sex with someone and was there for the delivery does not mean you will earn the title of "dad" from your kids years later ... and only they gave give you that title ... otherwise you are simply the bio-father of record ...

[NJpatbee]

I think we each have different interpretations of the poll question:

"If you had a good chance to earn multiple times your yearly salary or witness the birth of your first child, you'd choose"

I understood this to mean 4-5 times and many of you are talking $12 million, more like 50 to 150 times based on your income.  Based on my interpretation, I chose and would continue to choose being at the birth.  If it was 100 times and would change the life of my family forever, I would reconsider.  I would be the one to miss out on an irreplacable moment, plus my wife would neuter me so I could never have any additional children.

At the same time I would have some guilt since it reminds me of the guy that went into a nightclub and spotted a knockout of a woman sitting at the bar.  He went up to her and said "Would you have sex with me for 10 million dollars?".  The woman. a little taken back, thought about and and said "Sure".  The man then asked "How about for fity bucks?"  The woman scowled and said "Hey, what do you think I am?"  The man replied "We have already defined what you are and we are just negotiating price".

Perhaps not a perfect analogy, but if the money were to be a life changing amount for you and your family, you have to do what is best for them and take the money.  But for several times my salary, I am watching the baby be born.

[Lihu]

Amazing that under your standard fathers apparently didn't start loving their kids until the last 40 years or so.  It is not that long ago that fathers were almost NEVER at their kids' birth.  Maybe pacing in a room somewhere but not present.  How funny that we make our cultural quirks into virtual imperatives.

Due respect, it is an absurd point.  I wonder what kind of dad someone would make if he selfishly traded his family's financial security for his own "feel-good" moment.

And any parent who has a teen age kid questioning whether he is loved because dad was not at his birth has had a pretty crappy dad who wouldn't have been any better if he had attended the birth.  And frankly I cannot remember anyone anywhere ever telling me that they had even had a conversation like that with their teenage kid - so really this is a complete red herring you are raising.

And while I was at my kids birth, damn, my dad wasn't at mine.  So I guess that despite 45 years of evidence to the contrary he was a lousy father.

And the dad doesn't want what is best for the family?  When it comes to the welfare of MY family the only "family" that gets to have a say is my wife.

As far as your contention that in most cases families do what is best for everyone, you have obviously never taught in a public school in a marginal area.  Because in that environment most families suck at doing what is best for everyone.

We're all entitled to our own opinions. Obviously, we have nothing in common.

[mmoan2]

I asked my wife this very question and she said she'd leave me if I left $11 million on the table for that. There's your answer.

[14ledo81]

At the same time I would have some guilt since it reminds me of the guy that went into a nightclub and spotted a knockout of a woman sitting at the bar.  He went up to her and said "Would you have sex with me for 10 million dollars?".  The woman. a little taken back, thought about and and said "Sure".  The man then asked "How about for fity bucks?"  The woman scowled and said "Hey, what do you think I am?"  The man replied "We have already defined what you are and we are just negotiating price".

This raises and interesting point.  To me at least.

For those that would choose the payday (and most seem to), at which point is the money not enough?  2 times yearly salary?, 1/2 salary?, $500?