Funniest/Worst Driving range advice

[Stretch]

... this guy (looks like he's covered himself in glue and run through the Titleist section of the proshop) turns to me ...

Made me spit my tea all over the screen!

[Lihu]

I keep my mouth and ears closed. I am usually at the range early before those guys show up. If you want to get in some quiet practice, show up at 9am with the temps around freezing. Only on a few occasions while playing or ranging, someone might be hacking all over the place and say something like "What am I doing wrong?..." I might give them the old Lee Trevino line about "You're standing too close to the ball....after you hit it..." or try to joke it up a bit by saying "You took up golf".

It certainly isn't MY place to comment on someone's swing, or is it YOUR place to tell me anything about mine. Unless you are a teaching pro and are genuinely interested in giving away free advice (but making sure I want to hear it), keep walking.

Most advice is given for self affirmation anyway. The people who give it are either insecure about their own swing or for whatever other reason. It's usually not given to actually help. If the advice you give is not specific and detailed enough to really help the other person then you are probably just showing you are better or something. Really stupid.

The only times I find reasonable are if there is a safety issue. Otherwise, I agree, just shut up.

I dont mind if it someone i know who may say "this worked for me so may be worth a try" but the guys who come up and say "you shouldnt hit like that" do my head in!.

only yesterday i was at the range working on my swing. I have recently switched t a single axis swing and im hitting better than ever, this guy (looks like he's covered himself in glue and run through the Titleist section ofthe proshop) turns to me after ive hit a lovely 4 hybrid shot and shakes his head at me.

He turns round mutters "this is a proper golf swing" hits the side of the bay causing everyone to duck, then changes bays.

Now, im not a great golfer but im pretty sure you're not supposed to hit the bay dividers. the phrase "all the gear but no idea" sprung to mind

Right agreed. This would be the only reason I would even consider giving any advice, and even then only conditionally. The rest is simply the result of trying to show you are better than someone else, that was hilarious. . .

[Mr. Desmond]

It's been such a long time - I learned to keep my mouth and ears shut, except when it comes to kids and their Dads, and Dad can't really help the child. I watch for a few seconds. With my 8 yr old, when he stops hitting, I give him my phone, and he plays video games or we have chipping and putting contests. I want to make it fun for him.

One of the sad/strange things I saw was an attractive 20 something woman just fiercely attacking golf balls one after another until the bucket was gone. I think something else was happening in her head.

I have had guys go up and down the line and make brutal comments to people he doesn't know about their swing ... I guess golf is a game where people make other people's games their business.

[Stretch]

I have had guys go up and down the line and make brutal comments to people he doesn't know about their swing ...

Best answer to that is always: "Uh huh? Show me please."

[bwdial]

"Hit up on the ball with your irons to get it up in the air."

[ChrisWev]

"Hit up on the ball with your irons to get it up in the air."

Was going to say the same thing! I've heard people saying you should lean back to scoop it up.....with what looked to be a SW! They couldn't understand why they were blading and chunking everything.....

[slightlymad]

I dont get that much unsolicited advice to be honest. I might be the one giving it if I think about it. But only to friends, and only as a suggestion. And only the really basic stuff like ball flight laws etc. But I think a lot of people would benefit if there was more unsolicited advice, just as long as it's correct :) You don't have to be a teacher to explain some basic concepts of golf, but just stick to what you know. it would be good if the game of golf got discussed a bit more outside of these forums. People have No clue, it's almost as if they are trying to stay uninformed. Seriously, everybody can learn about theory, even if you're a 36 hcp you can still learn about why you are slicing all the time right? Sry kinda ot here

[isukgolf]

I wear headphones and try hard to look like a grumpy old man ... I must admit I have perfected it rather well ... as result I never have anyone give me advice. But I do laugh at guys giving advice, and when they demo said swing, they chunk/skank/top/miss 5 in a row ... However, I do rather enjoy a guy showing his hot girlfriend how to golf ... because I can switch to dirty old man rather quickly. :-D

[rkim291968]

I wear headphones and try hard to look like a grumpy old man ... I must admit I have perfected it rather well ... as result I never have anyone give me advice.

But I do laugh at guys giving advice, and when they demo said swing, they chunk/skank/top/miss 5 in a row ...

However, I do rather enjoy a guy showing his hot girlfriend how to golf ... because I can switch to dirty old man rather quickly.

Chuckle.   I am the grumpy old man.  I don't have to look like one.   I grumble and swear time time to time whenever I hit a bad shot.  No one bothers with me.  Besides, my swing looks good enough that they may think I am a good golfer.  In fact, more than a few beginners approached me for swing advice and that cracked me up always.   They are so new to golf that they couldn't even tell how bad I really was.

[Torres9]

To be completely honest with you, I put my iPod headphones in, keep my head down, find my area on the range, warm up with a small bucket, put my head down and walk to the putting green. Purposely. I don't want to even see people swing, or hear people talk about swings to each, and definitely not have someone go into a diatribe of how they have tips, yips, shanks and detail their occasional "300 yard drives" with their Hammer Driver.. Or how golf channel said this and that.... It works well for me. There are people who literally shoot 120 trying to talk about technique to anyone who will listen...

[WatchOutLeft]

What is the funniest or worst advise you have overheard or been given?

I was having a session at the range the other week and as there were only about 5 guys spread over 24 bays any talking was easily heard.

So im taking a break and the "armchair pro" 3 bays down turns to the guy next to him just after he had sliced a shot into the next county and offered the following sage piece of advice, " your problem there is your hands. Because you are gripping your shaft so tight your balls are spraying all over the place"

needless to say, being a man with a childish sense of humour, i almost died laughing. Only thing was i thought i had said the following in my head but inadvertantly said it aloud. "haha shaft!", only to hear the guy 10 bays down reply with "haha balls".

Lets face it, we love this sport partly due to all the inuendos

I played a round a few days ago when it had rained the night before. Talking about the greens my playing partner said "I like them when they're a little wet because it makes them more receptive to my balls". One of the best ones I have heard.

[BallStriker]

I just say this...."Don't worry, I don't actually play....I did 11 years in the pen for 2nd degree murder and now just hit balls to deal with my anger."

[imsys0042]

Worst advice I ever heard was a guy telling his girlfriend on a cell phone that he wanted to watch Aeon Flux that night because he thought Charlize Theron looked hot in her outfit in that movie.