Bad Golf Parents

[colin007]

20 hours ago, natureboy said:

 

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Context / video link?

It's from The Breakfast Club.

[gregsandiego]

On 7/9/2016 at 5:02 AM, Rainmaker said:

This is probably the worst thing I've ever seen on the course. 

My buddy and I are getting ready to tee off. My buddy is teed up and getting ready to hit when this middle aged guy comes running up and tells us his daughter is going to hit a few drives before we tee off.  Doesn't ask - tells us. 

We say - ok sure. Whatever, right?  So this 12-14 year old girl meekly walks onto the tee. Tees it up and slices it. The dad yells "what the f are you doing?  You're coming over the top. Hit another one". She does and tops it. He looks totally disgusted as she tees up one more and pretty much whiffs it. He gruffly says "that's it - lets go" and stomps off. She is practically in tears. 

I felt so bad for this girl I felt like saying something to this idiot but I knew it would not go well. He looked like he'd probably punch me if I did. 

Whats the worst example of golf parenting you've had the displeasure of witnessing? 

Wow, wow, wow!

Bad on 2 levels:

1. Total lack of etiquette.
2. Abusive parenting.

If you had public berated the guy loudly in  you would have done the daughter and the world a huge favor. 

If you see him again let him know.

 

 

 

[Patch]

I have told this on this site before. I think it needs repeating. 

I was golfing with a youngster and his GrandPa. The youngster (10 years old?) was having a tough time putting. At one point the youngster lost his composure, threw his putter into the near by water hazard. 

The GrandPa with out skipping a beat said there was no reason to break up a set, and threw the youngster's clubs, bag and all into the same water hazard. The look on the youngster's face was priceless. 

I suspect the youngster learned something.

Yes, the equipment was recovered, and the young man played on. 

[gregsandiego]

30 minutes ago, Patch said:

I have told this on this site before. I think it needs repeating. 

I was golfing with a youngster and his GrandPa. The youngster (10 years old?) was having a tough time putting. At one point the youngster lost his composure, threw his putter into the near by water hazard. 

The GrandPa with out skipping a beat said there was no reason to break up a set, and threw the youngster's clubs, bag and all into the same water hazard. The look on the youngster's face was priceless. 

I suspect the youngster learned something.

Yes, the equipment was recovered, and the young man played on. 

Great story. 

[iacas]

2 hours ago, jkelley9 said:

But I don't feel like golf (or any sport) is a necessity. It's not something you need to become a better person (albeit it does have strengths in that area so kudos to you for the patience with your young daughter). 

I never said that the sport itself was the necessity. Learning the value of hard work, discipline, goal setting, and that it can pay off is though.

If you can learn that outside of sports, cool. But often sports is a great way to learn some lessons.

Abusive parents aren't teaching their kids these lessons. Let's all be clear about that.

[natureboy]

20 hours ago, macksmom said:

If you guys get a chance, check out "Trophy Kids". It's a documentary, and it' either on Netflix or Amazon Prime. Very eye-opening. The golf dad is horrible. I felt so bad for his daughter. 

Did he really call her a 'stupid b$%ch' while he was miked? I fear this obviously sweet, normal kid is nothing but a means to an end for this guy - his retirement plan. I wonder if he has his own 'parental issues' healing to do?

[macksmom]

@JonMA1 - Well said!

52 minutes ago, natureboy said:

Did he really call her a 'stupid b$%ch' while he was miked? I fear this obviously sweet, normal kid is nothing but a means to an end for this guy - his retirement plan. I wonder if he has his own 'parental issues' healing to do?

He was mumbling so many thing... some were inaudible to me. But yeah - he was miked and I can't even imagine what he says in private. :(

[Mixon]

I have it the other way around! On the range, my 6 year old lad (who has been playing for a year) stands behind me, and if I duff the ball, he sniggers "What was THAT?!" or just makes comedy noises like "Wah wah waaaaah...". On the course he urges me to land in the bunkers. I've created a monster ?.

[natureboy]

18 minutes ago, macksmom said:

@JonMA1 - Well said!

He was mumbling so many thing... some were inaudible to me. But yeah - he was miked and I can't even imagine what he says in private. :(

Poor kid. If you haven't seen it already, that parent and child also feature in 'The Short Game'.

2 minutes ago, Mixon said:

I have it the other way around! On the range, my 6 year old lad (who has been playing for a year) stands behind me, and if I duff the ball, he sniggers "What was THAT?!" or just makes comedy noises like "Wah wah waaaaah...". On the course he urges me to land in the bunkers. I've created a monster ?.

But you pay for his golf, no? If he likes playing golf it will be simple to eliminate the commentary with a fine / penalty system along with an explanation why it's not appropriate.

Edited July 10, 2016 by natureboy

[Mixon]

22 minutes ago, natureboy said:

But you pay for his golf, no? If he likes playing golf it will be simple to eliminate the commentary with a fine / penalty system along with an explanation why it's not appropriate.

True. But I try not to take his golf sessions away - because no golf for him means no golf for me!

[WUTiger]

On 7/9/2016 at 10:00 AM, newtogolf said:

At the range I've seen a guy berate his 12-14 year old son while giving him "lessons" and another guy leave his young baby in a removable car seat crying and screaming while he hit golf balls.  

The 12- 14 year old was getting verbally abused in the stall next to me so when his dad walked off to get more golf balls, I looked at him and just said, "Golf is tough, don't feel bad if it doesn't come easy".   I would've said more but I didn't want to make things worse for the kid. ...    

This thread brings back bad memories...

Down in Oklahoma, one of the courses set up a gradeschool golf clinic with a couple of female college golfers as assistant instructors. At the course practice range, I saw this guy who probably never broken 100 in his life trying to teach something that looked somewhat like golf to his son.

I told the father about the golf clinic, and he just smirked. "No lessons from girls. They might ruin his swing."

A second incident was a danger situation. I'm hitting chip shots on the practice green, and a pre-school girl in her Sunday church dress comes running out onto the green. A split second difference in her timing, and my ball would have hit her. She sat down on the green, rubbed it with her hand, and rolled some of the balls around.

I asked her if she played golf, and she said, "Not yet." Her father is off-green talking to someone. I go up and advise him that his daughter might get hurt if she runs around the practice area. He goes ballistic, says his daughter has as much right to be there as I do, since he's a member.

I then remind of parental responsibilities, and he grabs his daughter and storms off. Five minutes later, I see him on the steps of the pro shop, and he and the pro are having a very unpleasant exchange. Dad left, and the pro never said anything to me.

A third example - I've seen the show several times - involves a dad who brings his grade-schooler along to play golf. The kid will play a couple of holes, and then get distracted. Dad yells at kid to hurry up and hit. Dad needs to realize that kids are kids - not adults - and don't have the attention span to play 18 holes yet. Let the kid play a hole here or there - don't turn it into the US Open.

[iacas]

I'll post the very short video tomorrow (I always forget I have that capability), but my streak ended hours after I said it.

A kid was trying to restrain his father from yelling at or possibly fighting another father earlier today. Crying. Yelling. The works.

This is from 120 yards away.

 We (wife and I) nearly called the police.

And the kid of the yelling dad? Shot 79 and won by about 15.

I guess I'll post it now.

[Aguirre]

A couple of posters pointed this out but this is probably more bad parenting than bad golf parenting. If these bad parents weren't sports fans, their faults would manifest themselves in other ways. Whether it was an activity such as playing the piano, or academics. 

One of the most depressing things I've experienced in my adult life is other adult friends opening up about their shitty parents, and witnessing poor parenting. I actually think I'd be good at it but I really like being able to take off work at 3pm on nice days and play 18. You can't do that very often with kids. 

[paininthenuts]

I am going to be devils advocate. Some years ago I learned to drive a truck. There were 5 trucks and the school, and we went out in pairs. One person drove in the morning, and the other in the afternoon. At the end of the week we all had a test. All the other instructors were really nice people, and quite nurturing. Our instructor yelled at us when we did anything wrong, and made us look like complete idiots. At the end of the week my colleague and I passed the test, all the other students failed. 

[iacas]

2 minutes ago, paininthenuts said:

I am going to be devils advocate. Some years ago I learned to drive a truck. There were 5 trucks and the school, and we went out in pairs. One person drove in the morning, and the other in the afternoon. At the end of the week we all had a test. All the other instructors were really nice people, and quite nurturing. Our instructor yelled at us when we did anything wrong, and made us look like complete idiots. At the end of the week my colleague and I passed the test, all the other students failed. 

That's not your parent. That's an instructor. And you were old enough to drive, too.

So as far as playing devil's advocate… #fail?

[cipher]

I just feel for these kids, and the environment in which some of them are growing up in.  In every moment we have a choice to provide either a positive or a negative experience for our children, there is not much between.  More parents need to understand what it means to truly be in the moment to provide a positive life experience by understanding that "who we be they will become".    

[Braivo]

That type of parenting is a reflection of the mental state of the parent and nothing more. Unfortunately it is all too common. I was an umpire when I was around 19 or 20 and I would get berated by parents while umping kids as young as 7-8. 

The OP story though breaks my heart. Nothing destroys the confidence of a child faster than being unable to please an overbearing parent. 

@iacas That video is hard to watch, can't imagine acting that way, let alone in front of my kids. 

[Groucho Valentine]

Sure it wasn't Michele Wie and her dad?