The psychology of blowing up: How do you stop it?

[chilepepper]

14 minutes ago, mcanadiens said:

I've said it before and I'll say it again. This is the single worst golf-related phrase I've ever heard. 

If anyone ever says this to me on the course, it will be the last time I ever play with them.

Depends on the context you decide to take it in. I find it to be helpful in chilling out after a bad shot or hole. Stress, particularly mental, just leads to tension which leads to successive bad shots. One could just as well sing the " Barney the Dinosaur " song. Whatever works. 

Its not something I advocate saying to someone. Unless you know them well and they are making an absolute fool of themselves throwing a hissy fit on the course

Edited August 30, 2016 by chilepepper

[CarlSpackler]

1 hour ago, chilepepper said:

How do I keep from blowing up? During those times I try to keep in mind what my grandfather told me as a hotheaded 11 year old trying to learn the game

" your not good enough to get mad" 

That's a horrible thing to say to yourself or others. We do have to be realistic about our abilities, but it would be better to put a positive spin on it. 

14 minutes ago, mcanadiens said:

I've said it before and I'll say it again. This is the single worst golf-related phrase I've ever heard. 

If anyone ever says this to me on the course, it will be the last time I ever play with them.

They might have a painful walk back to the car. 

 

[mcanadiens]

19 minutes ago, CarlSpackler said:

One is to look at the horizon or slightly above. For some reason, looking at the ground creates negative emotion where looking straight ahead or slightly up helps to curb anger.

I rarely remember to do this in those moments,  but It has helped when I do remember.

[CarlSpackler]

1 minute ago, mcanadiens said:

I rarely remember to do this in those moments,  but It has helped when I do remember.

When I hit a bad shot, I'm definitely not happy about it, but I look at it as an opportunity to escape. It's always fun to save par or bogey after hitting an errant drive, especially when your fiend thinks that you're doomed.

There is no better way to wear down an opponent than to smile and escape after hitting a bad shot. There is not quicker way to wear down yourself than to beat yourself up after a bad shot.

[Jeremie Boop]

7 minutes ago, CarlSpackler said:

When I hit a bad shot, I'm definitely not happy about it, but I look at it as an opportunity to escape. It's always fun to save par or bogey after hitting an errant drive, especially when your fiend thinks that you're doomed.

There is no better way to wear down an opponent than to smile and escape after hitting a bad shot. There is not quicker way to wear down yourself than to beat yourself up after a bad shot.

I have started to rate my rounds more on my ability to recover from bad shots. A lot of holes where I would have had some pretty astronomical numbers I've been able to recover by thinking through the best way to recover. Sometimes that's taking the slightly more risky shot as opposed to chipping out and having 200+ and other's it's realizing that chipping out is going to result in the best chance to recover. Basically, instead of rushing to the decision of how to him my next shot I actually weigh out the pros and cons quickly then decide. Surprisingly, most of the time this has actually resulted in good choices. Even on some of the times where I didn't score the best on the hole it was due to execution and not poor choice making.

[CarlSpackler]

1 minute ago, Jeremie Boop said:

I have started to rate my rounds more on my ability to recover from bad shots. A lot of holes where I would have had some pretty astronomical numbers I've been able to recover by thinking through the best way to recover. Sometimes that's taking the slightly more risky shot as opposed to chipping out and having 200+ and other's it's realizing that chipping out is going to result in the best chance to recover. Basically, instead of rushing to the decision of how to him my next shot I actually weigh out the pros and cons quickly then decide. Surprisingly, most of the time this has actually resulted in good choices. Even on some of the times where I didn't score the best on the hole it was due to execution and not poor choice making.

You could take that a step further and have a game plan in mind for the course you are going to play. In other words, plan out a strategy for different danger zones. I hit one OB last Saturday, and there was no recovery from that, but I remember playing practice rounds at Kittyhawk where I would go drop a few balls in some "dead zones" and see how I could get them close to the green. Practicing to get out of trouble goes a long way to helping you get out of trouble.

p.s. - Don't worry folks. It was the evening and I had the course to myself.

[wannabe]

A number of replies, including the OP, reference topping or skulling the ball after the bad shot.

It's possible that the neg emotions have created tension in your body, leading to tight neck, shoulders, arms, etc., thus shortening your swing and leading to the thin shot.

 If so, a possible remedy could be overdoing some relaxation techniques to ensure you are physically stress free - deep breaths, intentionally lowered shoulders, long, loose, practice swings, some stretching/shaking it off, whatever to get the tension out, loosen up, and allow you to physically and mentally "reset".

Edited August 30, 2016 by wannabe

[DaveP043]

33 minutes ago, Jeremie Boop said:

I have started to rate my rounds more on my ability to recover from bad shots. A lot of holes where I would have had some pretty astronomical numbers I've been able to recover by thinking through the best way to recover. Sometimes that's taking the slightly more risky shot as opposed to chipping out and having 200+ and other's it's realizing that chipping out is going to result in the best chance to recover. Basically, instead of rushing to the decision of how to him my next shot I actually weigh out the pros and cons quickly then decide. Surprisingly, most of the time this has actually resulted in good choices. Even on some of the times where I didn't score the best on the hole it was due to execution and not poor choice making.

To me, this is the best possible approach.  Its not "How can I make par (or bogey or whatever) from here?"  That can result in taking excessive risk, which leads to higher score a lot of the time.  The question needs to be "What shot would get me the lowest possible score from here most of the time?"  Its not always the lowest risk shot, but its very rarely the highest risk either.  

Again, making the best possible choice doesn't guarantee a low score this time, we all hit bad shots, but that's a totally different matter.  

[wannabe]

The thing I tell myself as positive reinforcement after a bad shot are things like:

"That's not your normal, that's the exception"

"Ok, the bad one is out of the way, now back to my normal good shots"

Others have mentioned playing a hole at a time as the game; for me I'm usually trying to play in the absolute present of one shot at a time, with a clean reset and "moving on" after every shot.

As others have mentioned, I'll echo that good fitness, both cardio and strength, along with hydrating/nutrition during the round are essential to staying fresh right through the final putt on 18.  If you aren't feeling fit enough to tee it up for another round after the first one is over, time to hit the gym.

A quick glance at my index will also tell you that I hit more than my share of bad shots during a round, so for me, it's either get over them quickly, or spend several hours in misery.  I play for the enjoyment of the outdoors, the time away from it all, hanging out with the gang; good golf is my goal, but I consider it a lifetime of learning.  It's a matter of perspective, and to each his own.

 

Edited August 30, 2016 by wannabe

[Jeremie Boop]

4 minutes ago, wannabe said:

The thing I tell myself as positive reinforcement after a bad shot are things like:

"That's not your normal, that's the exception"

"Ok, the bad one is out of the way, now back to my normal good shots"

Others have mentioned playing a hole at a time as the game; for me I'm usually trying to play in the absolute present of one shot at a time, with a clean reset and "moving on" after every shot.

As others have mentioned, I'll echo that good fitness, both cardio and strength, along with hydrating/nutrition during the round are essential to staying fresh right through the final putt on 18.  If you aren't feeling fit enough to tee it up for another round after the first one is over, time to hit the gym.

 

These are things I need to actively start thinking about. I'll typically get something to drink but I rarely eat while playing. There are days where I play more than 18 holes where I don't eat until I get home and typically I don't eat before I leave for the course either. 

[CarlSpackler]

1 hour ago, DaveP043 said:

To me, this is the best possible approach.  Its not "How can I make par (or bogey or whatever) from here?"  That can result in taking excessive risk, which leads to higher score a lot of the time.  The question needs to be "What shot would get me the lowest possible score from here most of the time?"  Its not always the lowest risk shot, but its very rarely the highest risk either.  

Again, making the best possible choice doesn't guarantee a low score this time, we all hit bad shots, but that's a totally different matter.  

Yes. My goal is usually to get the ball closest to the hole as possible with minimal risk. That might be playing up the fairway of adjacent hole, but as long as it's not against the rules, I will consider it. Being aware of your surroundings and not just taking the option of always wanting to take a direct path from where you are to the green. I sometimes wonder if I wouldn't hit the green more often by playing a half 5i instead of flying an 8i to a back pin position assuming relatively flat terrain and no hazard or rough to go over. I can hit that shot relatively straight, but tend to miss an 8i left or right. Why is flying the ball to the green always my first option?

[Liko81]

On 8/15/2016 at 6:19 PM, ol 3 putts said:

One of these days I hope to kill the guy in my head when I'm playing poorly, I guess today was not that day. So what do you guys do, breathe, yoga, laugh, cry?

Your OP made me cringe; scenarios just like you describe, where I get in a bad rut of unpredictable, not-normal shots off the tee that I then feel I have to made excellent shots to recover from, are half the reason I'm still a 30-cap. The other half happens between ~75 yards and the edge of the green, and these weaknesses in the pitching/chipping game compound any problems through the green by not giving me good chances to save the hole with a measured recovery strategy and a realistic up-and-down.

The meltdown happens at least once a round for me, usually at that point in the round when I start getting tired but not so tired that I take it seriously. This usually happens about halfway through the back 9, typically and very unfortunately right after some of the best shots I'll make that round, as my play thus far has helped to dial in my swing just before all that walking and swinging starts getting to me. By succumbing to overconfidence and trying to power through early fatigue, I start badly slicing drives, topping 3-woods or turfing pitches, and you simply can't do that multiple times on a single hole and save par or even double-bogey.

How I react depends on the round thus far. Usually if the rest of the round is business as usual, where I've parred a couple holes and had some decent shots, but have already made enough mistakes one or two at a time that I was over 50 at the turn anyway, I'll just laugh it off and move on. If I've been doing really well (relatively speaking) up until then, maybe turning at 45 and really having my game together up until this meltdown, and now I've totally screwed myself out of a real chance at double-digits, I don't tend to take it as well. By the same token, if the blowup is unexpectedly early in the round and I'm staring down a double-digit hole score on my card for the rest of the day, it's usually bad. Those are the days I want to give up the game for good. Even if my performance dramatically improves after the meltdown, the fun of any remaining holes is gone once it gets into my head that the meltdown has ended my game.

A couple rounds back, it happened on the very first hole; massive slice off the first tee into the adjacent fairway, followed by spending the next 6 shots very stupidly trying to punch through or bomb over a very thick treeline while aiming at the green instead of an open stretch of fairway. Add in two strokes made at two different wrong balls and I was throwing clubs further than my ball was going long before I made the green. Did it matter that I parred the next two holes and ripped the cover off right down the center on the first par-5 of the day? Not in the slightest. My day was done, except for all the walking and swinging required over the other 6500 yards of the course.

That mentality, that the round is over anytime before you hole out on the 18th, is what must be avoided at nearly all costs, because it very easily and quickly leads to "what am I still doing out here", and from there to "why did I bother to show up at all". Not healthy, and not conducive to any further improvement. As far as how you shake off a bad hole so it doesn't turn into a bad round, I don't have a cure-all, but here's what I try to follow assuming I can keep a cool head in the first place.

1. Reflect on the hole for exactly as long as it takes to get you to the next one. A mistake ignored is a mistake repeated, so you can't just block it from your mind, but you shouldn't still be thinking about the previous hole as you're addressing your ball on the tee for the next one. Take the time to identify what went wrong and how to do better about it, without dwelling on it for three holes.
2. Be honest with yourself in identifying the problems. In the 30 seconds to a minute between holing out and teeing off, ask yourself not only what went wrong initially to take you off a par performance for the hole, but how you compounded on that to make it a meltdown. A bad tee shot, even a total duffer move like a whiff, top or turf, does not guarantee a bad hole score. What will do that is what you do next, either trying to save the hole with what would have to be the best shot you've ever made, or going on the tilt and letting frustration take over. Don't just identify what happened to put you in a tight spot, acknowledge what you did to make it worse and take par off the table.
3. Then, try to erase the hole from your mind, but not your scorecard. You're going to recover from that bad hole by getting back to your usual game, not Jordan Spieth's. It will be in the back of your mind that if you just birdie this next hole you can dig yourself back out. Ignore that impulse, especially if you've never birdied this hole in your life. You'll swing harder (and thus sloppier), and you'll make riskier decisions that will more likely put you further behind than pay off.
4. Play boring golf for at least the next couple of holes. Just as in the previous point, you recover by getting back to what you do normally, not to what you see the pros doing. Unless you're a Tour pro yourself, you're very unlikely to have practiced as much as they have, or to be playing for as much as they are. Play each shot in the way that's most likely to get you the lowest score you can make, not the way that could in some convoluted circumstance get you a par or birdie. Your goal is to settle back down and get yourself back off any "tilt" you may have picked up on the bad hole.
5. If you repeat an earlier mistake, pay attention and start making real adjustments. Slicing one drive out of bounds could have been a fluke. Slicing two out of bounds in a row is a personal problem; you're letting something slip in your technique, and you need to pay attention to what you're doing. Review everything you did on that shot; did you tee it at its usual height? Did you address it in the usual way? Are you taking your usual swing? The answer to one of these will be "no", unless your "usual" drive slices that badly (in which case you should be at the range instead of on the course, changing what's "usual" to produce a playable shot). You may need to fall back to a lower-power but more predictable "control drive", the one that only goes 220 yards instead of 250, but that you can keep straight.
6. Don't forget to have fun. For 99.99% of golfers in the world, fun is all you get out of this game. Even for the 0.01% of golfers that play for money, if they're not having any fun playing golf, they don't last very long on the Tour. If the game really is not enjoyable to you in the long run, go do something you like more. If it used to be fun, but isn't anymore, do some deep reflecting as to why that is. Choice of course, playing partners, personal expectations, off-course pressures weighing in, etc.

[GolfLug]

I just don't think you can play the game from a place of fear or defense, like you are walking a tight rope and focused on 'not falling off'. People will have blow up holes as long as people make bad swings. It's a game of low margin of error and high penalty for variation outside a small window. Simple as that.

If bad holes bother you that much to a point where it affect entire rounds then keep a Stableford score with your normal shot score. Heck if you are in my league, some of them don't even keep score.. just points. All good holes get rewarded with points but the only penalty for a bad hole is you don't get points. Easier to swallow and will keep you focused on whatever good you ARE doing.  

 

[Groucho Valentine]

The graphic for this thread is the best thing ever..

I find that most of the time ( with exceptions when someone hits like 2 balls OB) people have blow up holes because they lose their composure. As I'm sure has been said plenty of times already. Blow up holes are mental errors, not physical ones IMO. 

[Kalnoky]

I was watching the BMW Championship and Paul Casey was quoted as saying that Dustin Johnson has the "best attitude on tour" i.e., a cheerful demeanor, and a grateful disposition (paraphrasing the announcers).

I'll try to remember that when I go out later today and skull my first pitch shot.

Golf is after all just a passion/hobby and 100 times better than being in the office, being in traffic, dealing with nasty in-laws, or sitting in doctor's office. 

[CarlSpackler]

36 minutes ago, Groucho Valentine said:

The graphic for this thread is the best thing ever..

I find that most of the time ( with exceptions when someone hits like 2 balls OB) people have blow up holes because they lose their composure. As I'm sure has been said plenty of times already. Blow up holes are mental errors, not physical ones IMO. 

I would argue quite the opposite. Most blow up holes are caused by a physical error that causes your ball to go offline. Your attitude to said error can make matters worse, but physics controls ball flight unless you are telekinetic.

[Groucho Valentine]

3 minutes ago, CarlSpackler said:

I would argue quite the opposite. Most blow up holes are caused by a physical error that causes your ball to go offline. Your attitude to said error can make matters worse, but physics controls ball flight unless you are telekinetic.

Well yeah. Just one bad swing can trigger a blow up hole. But how a player responds to a awful shot is usually what triggers the blowup hole. 

[JetFan1983]

23 minutes ago, Kalnoky said:

I was watching the BMW Championship and Paul Casey was quoted as saying that Dustin Johnson has the "best attitude on tour" i.e., a cheerful demeanor, and a grateful disposition (paraphrasing the announcers).

Lol, I'd be pretty cheerful too if I could fly it 330 with my 75% swing.