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The "Stop Conning Yourself" Thread

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I think a lot of people struggle with admitting that they don't live up to their own perceptions of themselves. So much in life can be faked, blamed on someone else or unproven until you get somewhere that you have to make good or perform in front of others, as in golf. My problem is not that I am conning myself, but that I don't appreciate what I do well. I often get success and then set up another obstacle to make it tougher... Not a good way of doing things. I'd say I don't like things to come easy but I am sure it is deeper than that...

This pretty much sums it up. Nice post!

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I think a lot of people struggle with admitting that they don't live up to their own perceptions of themselves. So much in life can be faked, blamed on someone else or unproven until you get somewhere that you have to make good or perform in front of others, as in golf. My problem is not that I am conning myself, but that I don't appreciate what I do well. I often get success and then set up another obstacle to make it tougher... Not a good way of doing things. I'd say I don't like things to come easy but I am sure it is deeper than that...

I'm guilty of the same thing. You're not alone. I just love golf so much, all I want to do is to be a very good player. I work my ass off to get better and my game has come MILES. I don't think that there is a better feeling than a well struck golf shot. I chase that feeling every time that I set up for a shot and grip my club. Nothing better...

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I'm guilty of the same thing. You're not alone. I just love golf so much, all I want to do is to be a very good player. I work my ass off to get better and my game has come MILES. I don't think that there is a better feeling than a well struck golf shot. I chase that feeling every time that I set up for a shot and grip my club. Nothing better...

Agree 100% with both of you. If I could make my salary doing anything golf related I would do it without hesitation. But I can't so I just want to be the best golfer I can be.

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I'm guilty of the same thing. You're not alone. I just love golf so much, all I want to do is to be a very good player. I work my ass off to get better and my game has come MILES. I don't think that there is a better feeling than a well struck golf shot. I chase that feeling every time that I set up for a shot and grip my club. Nothing better...

Maybe one thing....

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I think a lot of people struggle with admitting that they don't live up to their own perceptions of themselves. So much in life can be faked, blamed on someone else or unproven until you get somewhere that you have to make good or perform in front of others, as in golf. My problem is not that I am conning myself, but that I don't appreciate what I do well. I often get success and then set up another obstacle to make it tougher... Not a good way of doing things. I'd say I don't like things to come easy but I am sure it is deeper than that...

Agree 100% with both of you. If I could make my salary doing anything golf related I would do it without hesitation. But I can't so I just want to be the best golfer I can be.

I'm guilty of the same thing. You're not alone. I just love golf so much, all I want to do is to be a very good player. I work my ass off to get better and my game has come MILES. I don't think that there is a better feeling than a well struck golf shot. I chase that feeling every time that I set up for a shot and grip my club. Nothing better...


With the exception of working my ass off, as I put in a little work but try extremely hard. I agree 300% with all 3 of you.

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I keep convincing myself that I will continue to improve just by playing more. Probably not happening. Need to continue taking lessons and practice with purpose.

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Great thread.

I think I con myself into thinking that by the end of range session, I can handle more than one or two things as swing thoughts.

I'll start in slow motion at the range, and hit one or two balls per minute, staying laser-focused on the one area I've deliberately chosen for that session.

BUT...

by the end, I'm often thinking of 3 or 4 things because I con myself that I've got the first thing down. I've added thing 2, maybe thing 3 or 4. Then I'm juggling all things in fast speed swings (screw that slow mo stuff, I'm on a roll!), a ball every 15 seconds for the last 20 or so of the bucket.

Then I leave the range kicking myself that I wasted the last minutes of practice because I got undisciplined.  But the first 20 or 30 minutes was likely pretty effective.

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I keep convincing myself that I will continue to improve just by playing more. Probably not happening. Need to continue taking lessons and practice with purpose.

You probably will improve playing more but it could take longer than if you took lessons and practiced with purpose.

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I con myself when I get mad on the course, usually after a succession of poor shots, the con residing in the belief that I am capable of avoiding such streaks over 18 holes.I should take the bad streaks with the good, and try to enjoy the game, rather than expecting to par or bogey every hole because I parred the first one.

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The topic of this thread transcends golf. In general, our culture seems to be full of excuses, and avoids reality, in order to stroke the ego. If we can't be honest with ourselves, and we overlook our strengths and weaknesses, we'll never reach our full potential. Beyond that rant (sorry, struck a chord), I won't deny that I've kidded myself before when it comes to golf. Prior to the last few years, I made a lot of assumptions about my game, without having a true understanding of where I really stood. Once I took a step back, and really allowed myself to see the facts, I was able to improve quite quickly. Play to my true strengths, and try to avoid my true weaknesses.

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@iacas , how about opening a sister thread like "Hi, I am a sandbagger?" ;-) Two years of club tournament, I know people "manage" their HI for better result in tournament.

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The sport's greatest con is summed up nicely in that great old Scottish lament, "Just once I would like to play my usual game!"  When I hit a great shot, I have to gaurd against thinking, "that's the way I should hit every shot!" Same goes for when I hit a horrible shot.

I'm more afraid of getting worse than conning myself into thinking I'm any good.  I'm 58 now, and just hope I can keep improving.  Lessons, mirror practice, range time and playing a lot have dropped my HI from 26 to around 15 in four years.  Now the strokes will come off one at a time though.  If I can get to 10-12, I will be happy.

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I think one of the difficulties with golf and the con artists we become is the moments of greatness we all get. Golf is a game of individual accomplishment. The golf swing is so damn difficult and is effected by the smallest of angles and millimeters of offset. No one just all of a sudden leaps in the air and does a reverse dunk, then can't manage to touch the rim. We couldn't face a MLB pitcher and crack home runs then all of a sudden whiff at slow pitch. Yet there we are, on the range or the actual course and smack a 4i high in the air with a baby draw and land it 8' from the pin. We've seen countless pros make a worse shot than that. We look at the full leader board and see a guy at the bottom who shot 90. So we think, "what the hell, I've hit so many great shots where just a millimeter left on the clubface could've screwed the whole shot up..but I didn't ...I nailed the sob!" We want that glory all the time only to be brought down by reality the next day. We live like Walter Mitty when it comes to golf. How can we be so bad at something we care about so much? Our careers, successful. Other sports, successful, or maybe I should say "content." But with golf, we always demand more and when the golf gods just don't seem to want to give any leeway...we just take it ourselves...knowing deep inside it's not real, not what we really seek...a con. "It is only through the wisdom of the dying starfish that we see most clearly, that which we have become."

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I think one of the difficulties with golf and the con artists we become is the moments of greatness we all get. Golf is a game of individual accomplishment. The golf swing is so damn difficult and is effected by the smallest of angles and millimeters of offset. No one just all of a sudden leaps in the air and does a reverse dunk, then can't manage to touch the rim. We couldn't face a MLB pitcher and crack home runs then all of a sudden whiff at slow pitch. Yet there we are, on the range or the actual course and smack a 4i high in the air with a baby draw and land it 8' from the pin. We've seen countless pros make a worse shot than that. We look at the full leader board and see a guy at the bottom who shot 90. So we think, "what the hell, I've hit so many great shots where just a millimeter left on the clubface could've screwed the whole shot up..but I didn't ...I nailed the sob!" We want that glory all the time only to be brought down by reality the next day. We live like Walter Mitty when it comes to golf. How can we be so bad at something we care about so much? Our careers, successful. Other sports, successful, or maybe I should say "content." But with golf, we always demand more and when the golf gods just don't seem to want to give any leeway...we just take it ourselves...knowing deep inside it's not real, not what we really seek...a con. "It is only through the wisdom of the dying starfish that we see most clearly, that which we have become."

Ha so true. I am insanely competitive, but 99.9% of that is that I am competitive with myself. I love seeing playing partners and friends do well. I am competing with myself. And I am very hard on myself. It is an addiction and I am an addict.

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I think one of the difficulties with golf and the con artists we become is the moments of greatness we all get. Golf is a game of individual accomplishment. The golf swing is so damn difficult and is effected by the smallest of angles and millimeters of offset. No one just all of a sudden leaps in the air and does a reverse dunk, then can't manage to touch the rim. We couldn't face a MLB pitcher and crack home runs then all of a sudden whiff at slow pitch. Yet there we are, on the range or the actual course and smack a 4i high in the air with a baby draw and land it 8' from the pin. We've seen countless pros make a worse shot than that. We look at the full leader board and see a guy at the bottom who shot 90. So we think, "what the hell, I've hit so many great shots where just a millimeter left on the clubface could've screwed the whole shot up..but I didn't ...I nailed the sob!" We want that glory all the time only to be brought down by reality the next day. We live like Walter Mitty when it comes to golf. How can we be so bad at something we care about so much? Our careers, successful. Other sports, successful, or maybe I should say "content." But with golf, we always demand more and when the golf gods just don't seem to want to give any leeway...we just take it ourselves...knowing deep inside it's not real, not what we really seek...a con.

"It is only through the wisdom of the dying starfish that we see most clearly, that which we have become."

I enjoyed this post. I've gotta know: what's the final quote?  Googling it returns to The SandTrap and your post.  Are you starting a new quote that we can use from here on out? If so, what does it mean? :beer:

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Thank you. That's my own quote. Poetry is my other hobby...much easier than golf. To start, I'd really like to hear (read) what you and others think it may mean....

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I need to stop conning myself in thinking that I will improve my game without improving the mental aspect of my game.


I also need to stop conning myself (and putting pressure on myself) into thinking that I need to birdie and par every hole.

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